Ladies, please explain "the notebook" movie to me

[ChrisFL]

I've dated a few women over the years who have all fallen in love with this movie, though I never watched it myself.

There is a new girl I'm interested in and since she's also a big fan, I decided to watch it (she's in another country right now, so we couldn't watch it together)

Anyway, I watched it and....I just don't get it...really I don't.

Sappy? yes, Love Story? yes.

Plot development? no. Surprises? not even close.

I really apologize to those who like this movie, but...



(Spoilers ahead)

Why does the guy take her to a creepy, abandoned mansion for their "first time"?

Why does the girl leave a pretty good, decent fiancee to this first guy who never called her, though she has a phone, wrote letters and never once thought her parents, who she obviously lived with, weren't removing her mail after making it very clear that they (at least the mother) hated him?

She tells her fiancee there's nothing to worry about, so she goes and does *ahem* everything with the other guy, and we're supposed to feel all good about it? I mean I could understand if the fiancee was really a bad person and she discovered it later on, but I never got that impression.

Why would her mother keep all of the letters in a safe place if she didn't like the idea for 7 years, then say she was in love with that other guy in the rock quarry? It didn't make sense.

Also, the letters are apparently not even really seen until the end of the movie, like the last 2 minutes, and that's when they're inside a notebook...is that the supposed story that he's reading to her via the letters? How? why would he write 365 letters re-hashing every day of their lives until that point?


(End spoilers)




Please tell me what I'm missing. I realize I'm NOT the target market, but I don't get it.

 

[low-key]

, though I never watched it myself.

thats what we all say

 

[Cantw8]

I am female and have never seen it. It just didn't appeal to me so I can't help you. I do like The Three Stooges though, so I guess I'm not a good representation of the female population

 

[LuLuO]

I guess it's kind of a life-is-messy-but-love-wins-against-the-odds kind of movie. My friends were telling me how great the movie was. The best movie ever. Blah. Blah. I thought it was a typical sappy love story (which is what I was expecting), but the end was so freaking sad. Ugh. I told my friends I was never listening to movie recommendations from them again.

 

[eliza61]

(Spoilers ahead)

Why does the guy take her to a creepy, abandoned mansion for their "first time"?

Why does the girl leave a pretty good, decent fiancee to this first guy who never called her, though she has a phone, wrote letters and never once thought her parents, who she obviously lived with, weren't removing her mail after making it very clear that they (at least the mother) hated him?

She tells her fiancee there's nothing to worry about, so she goes and does *ahem* everything with the other guy, and we're supposed to feel all good about it? I mean I could understand if the fiancee was really a bad person and she discovered it later on, but I never got that impression.

Why would her mother keep all of the letters in a safe place if she didn't like the idea for 7 years, then say she was in love with that other guy in the rock quarry? It didn't make sense.

Also, the letters are apparently not even really seen until the end of the movie, like the last 2 minutes, and that's when they're inside a notebook...is that the supposed story that he's reading to her via the letters? How? why would he write 365 letters re-hashing every day of their lives until that point?


(End spoilers)




Please tell me what I'm missing. I realize I'm NOT the target market, but I don't get it.

I loved that movie. so here's my take.

1) the mansion was symbolic of his "dreams". My dh took me to the Atlantic city airport on one date. He had a love of traveling and his goal was to visit every continent, so whenever real life stressed him out he would go there at night and watch the stars and the planes. So by inviting me he was essentially getting closer to me by sharing his hopes and dreams with me. Uber, uber romantic.

2)Very simple. she did not really love the second guy. Her heart always belonged to Noah.

3) fiancee was not a bad guy. I do think she meant to go see Noah and possibly just get some unresolved issues finished.

I took the notebook to be some thing that the older Noah wrote himself, not as a rehashing of the letters. Mom told daughter about the rock quarry guy to let daughter know that she knew how she was feeling. that she too had a summer romance with some one from the wrong side of the tracks. Remember this story took place in the early 40's when class distinctions were very, very important. I grew up in the early 60's and heck even back then I remember being told "don't get too serious with that boy".

My first serious boyfriend "George" lived in my building with me. I have all his love letters that he sent me. When I was a young girl of course no one had cell phones and calling cross country was expensive. I spent my summers in knoxville Tenns with my maternal grandmother and George stayed in NYC, so we wrote each other almost daily. LOL.

 

[GaBelle]

Read the book by Nicholas Sparks. It may give you more insight. And it will give you some serious brownie points with your lady friend. At least it would with me.

 

[lisaviolet]

Chris,

The movie isn't as far fetched as you make it out to be. My parents' story is not the same but has some similarities.

My mother, whether she ever answered is never really covered by her, has a boyfriend who proposed to her. She has always told me he was a nice man.

My father had seen her - met her - missed streetcars to get on hers. And really was an absolute stalker if I'm to be honest.

He hung out in trees while the above two were on dates. Who knows what his purpose was to be - jump on the guy? Figure out how much my mom loved this guy? Get more time viewing my mom? Laughing. Can you imagine?

My mom left this other man for my father at some point in this story.

-------- Right about here many would be saying "for the creepy stalker?"

And the sad and beautiful part is they have been married for 57 years this year. And my mother is in the later stages of dementia. And you know what my father says to me ALL THE TIME.

I look at her and everything that's going on and she's still so beautiful. She's still so beautiful.

Sighing. He still sees *that redhead* of his youth. He is still a man in love.

_________________________

As for the movie - I just happened to catch it again last week:

Parts I loved. The actors. Both. Both were practically unknowns at the time. And both, in my opinion, light up a screen. Being both Canadian of course.

To me Rachel McAdams just LIGHTS UP a screen.

(as are Gena Rowlands/Allie and James Garner/Noah)

Allie's mom is beyond an exceptional actress and the movie wouldn't have been the same without her.

Their love seemed like a lot of fun in their youth. The "get in the water! scene still cracks me up!

Some of your questions:

Allie was a really strong girl - I'm sure Noah thought she would get her mail by any means. (Plus, it's a work of fiction)

And I would think a lot of men, including Noah, don't have the confidence to make sure someone hasn't moved on with their lives.

And my father would have done anything to *get* my mother including, I'm guessing, writing 365 letters about his love and probably his daily life.

The mother was trying to block her own loss by stopping her daughter's love in this manner. And then seeing how Allie was fighting so strongly for this life - she exhaled and shared her secret love. In the end, she probably respected her daughter's resolve. People are always triggered by others' choices that they don't have the courage to make themselves.

One of the BEST parts of the movie, for me, was that Allie's fiance was a great man and that they didn't make him a villain and that was the agony of her choice. I love stories that don't play the obvious.

One line that always gets me is Allie saying almost to herself, when she is with Noah again: "It really WAS real, wasn't it?".

There are a lot of people, men and women, that have early loves that never had the chance to go somewhere because of life, age, university, distance and some people tend to think early love is not as valid. When in many ways it's the most pure.

And the times of the film. So nostalgic and fun to watch. Maybe a lot of woman long to be courted in such a manner these days. And like my father - be with someone who thinks we are the greatest thing on earth - even when we are obviously not a lot of the times!!! Laughing.

 

[afnaechiquita]

Read the book by Nicholas Sparks. It may give you more insight. And it will give you some serious brownie points with your lady friend. At least it would with me.

:/ I disagree. I like NS' movies, but hate reading the books. He's the only author I've ever read where I enjoyed the movies much more than the books. He just rambles.

To answer the OP: it's just a girly love story. I don't think there's really been another one like it in our generation (even the other NS books-turned-movies), so girls are attached to it.

 

[Neesy228]

I loved that movie. so here's my take.

1) the mansion was symbolic of his "dreams". My dh took me to the Atlantic city airport on one date. He had a love of traveling and his goal was to visit every continent, so whenever real life stressed him out he would go there at night and watch the stars and the planes. So by inviting me he was essentially getting closer to me by sharing his hopes and dreams with me. Uber, uber romantic.

2)Very simple. she did not really love the second guy. Her heart always belonged to Noah.

3) fiancee was not a bad guy. I do think she meant to go see Noah and possibly just get some unresolved issues finished.

I took the notebook to be some thing that the older Noah wrote himself, not as a rehashing of the letters. Mom told daughter about the rock quarry guy to let daughter know that she knew how she was feeling. that she too had a summer romance with some one from the wrong side of the tracks. Remember this story took place in the early 40's when class distinctions were very, very important. I grew up in the early 60's and heck even back then I remember being told "don't get too serious with that boy".

My first serious boyfriend "George" lived in my building with me. I have all his love letters that he sent me. When I was a young girl of course no one had cell phones and calling cross country was expensive. I spent my summers in knoxville Tenns with my maternal grandmother and George stayed in NYC, so we wrote each other almost daily. LOL.

I agree with 1-3.

The notebook has an inscription in the front for Noah to read it to Allie and she will come back to him, so I always believed that it was Allies handwritten story of their lives together. Noah would read it to her in those last years as her memory faded as a way to "jog her memory" .....

You have to be a hopeless romantic, "Love will conquer all" type of person to really enjoy the movie....

 

[Wendy31]

Chris,

The movie isn't as far fetched as you make it out to be. My parents' story is not the same but has some similarities.

My mother, whether she ever answered is never really covered by her, has a man as a boyfriend who proposed to her. She has always told me he was a nice man.

My father had seen her - met her - missed streetcars to get on hers. And really was an absolute stalker if I'm to be honest.

He hung out in trees while the above two were on dates.

My mom left this other man for my father at some point in this story.

-------- Right about here many would be saying "for the creepy stalker?"

And the sad and beautiful part is they have been married for 57 years this year. And my mother is in the later stages of dementia. And you know what my father says to me ALL THE TIME.

I look at her and everything that's going on and she's still so beautiful. She's still so beautiful.

Sighing. He still sees *that redhead* of his youth. He is still a man in love.

_________________________

As for the movie - I just happened to catch it again last week:

Parts I loved. The actors. Both. Both were practically unknowns at the time. And both, in my opinion, light up a screen. Being both Canadian of course.

To me Rachel McAdams just LIGHTS UP a screen.

(as are Gena Rowlands/Allie and James Garner/Noah)

Allie's Mom is beyond an exceptional actress and the movie wouldn't have been the same without her.

Their love seemed like a lot of fun in their youth. The "get in the water! scene still cracks me up!

Some of your questions:

Allie was a really strong girl - I'm sure Noah thought she would get her mail by any means. (Plus, it's a work of fiction)

And I would think a lot of men, including Noah, don't have the confidence to make sure someone hasn't moved on with their lives.

And my father would have done anything to *get* my mother including writing, I'm guessing, writing 365 letters about his love and probably his daily life.

The mother was trying to block her own loss by stopping her daughter's love in this manner. And then seeing how Allie was fighting so strongly for this life - she exhaled and shared her secret love. In the end, she probably respected her daughter's resolve. People are always triggered by others' choices.

One of the BEST parts of the movie, for me, was that Allie's fiance was a great man and that they didn't make him a villain and that was the agony of her choice. I love stories that don't play the obvious.

One line that always gets me is Allie saying almost to herself, when she is with Noah again: "It really WAS real, wasn't it?".

There are a lot of people, men and women, that have early loves that never had the chance to go somewhere because of life, age, university, distance and some people tend to think early love is not as valid. When in many ways it's the most pure.

And the times of the film. So nostalgic and fun to watch. Maybe a lot of woman long to be courted in such a manner these days. And like my father - be with someone who thinks we are the greatest thing on earth - even when we are obviously not a lot of the times!!! Laughing.

Yes! All of this!

Your parents' story is lovely & romantic & so sweet... thank you for sharing. It made me teary.

It made me think of my grandparents, my mom's parents. My grandmother had Alzheimer's disease & was in a nursing home, &, until the day she died, my grandfather would get up in the morning, get dressed, & then drive an hour away to the nursing home to go spend the day w/ her, & then drive an hour to go back home - every single day. He loved her & always saw her as that young beautiful blonde woman he married.

Anyway, in regards to why girls like "The Notebook," girls want the wild, passionate love, & sometimes the wild, passionate love isn't the easy love. Yes, she could have chosen the other guy, but he wasn't Noah. He didn't dance w/ her in the middle of the street.

We want the "once in a lifetime," soul-changing, breathtaking love. I want the love story. I want the crazy, beautiful, wild, devastating love.

And don't just love me for my looks but love me for my mind & my dreams & my silliness & my faults... love all of me. And be my forever friend. Even when you get irritated & exasperated w/ me.

And, then when we find that love, we want to be cared for & loved wildly & deeply & tenderly & forever for the rest of our lives - in spite of & even because of our crazy. A love that is true & good & passionate & forever...

Because, sometimes, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale.

Even ordinary, every day love can be beautiful. A true love story, no matter how ordinary or common place, is beautiful.

And that's why girls like "The Notebook"... because Noah loved Allie.

Quotes from "The Notebook" -

“I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough..”

“So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday.”

“I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours. ”

“You are my best friend as well as my lover, and I do not know which side of you I enjoy the most. I treasure each side, just as I have treasured our life together.”

“We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it.”

“They didn’t agree on much. In fact, they didn’t agree on anything. They fought all the time and challenged each other ever day. But despite their differences, they had one important thing in common. They were crazy about each other.”

“You are the answer to every prayer I've offered. You are a song, a dream, a whisper, and I don't know how I could have lived without you for as long as I have.”

“She wanted something else, something different, something more. Passion and romance, perhaps, or maybe quiet conversations in candlelit rooms, or perhaps something as simple as not being second.”

“In times of grief and sorrow I will hold you and rock you and take your grief and make it my own. When you cry I cry and when you hurt I hurt. And together we will try to hold back the floods to tears and despair and make it through the potholed street of life”

"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul, that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts & brings peace to our minds. That's what I hope to give you forever."

 

[Minerva Mouse]

OP, I'm saddened that you didn't "get it". But it's ok, not many men appreciate a good chick flick.

 

[Mandy_in_NC]

Because all women want to be loved like Noah loves Allie. He moves into the nursing home so he can be with her. He reads their story to her every day in hopes that she will come back to him and remember him and their love.

 

[shortbun]

OP, it's just not that complicated; either you get it or you don't. Having typed your original post and followed this thread, you have already spent too much time on this topic. When someone tells you they love a movie, smile and say, "oh, that's cool." Then let it drop or listen but don't think about it again. Find something way more important to wonder about.

 

[happygirl]

This is one of my fav movies EVER!!! I think PP have done an excellent of telling you about it.


I love it from the love story from the begin to the end. I love that Noah never left Allie side even when she was sick. I prefer when they are older that side of there love.

 

[merryweather20]

I've dated a few women over the years who have all fallen in love with this movie, though I never watched it myself.

There is a new girl I'm interested in and since she's also a big fan, I decided to watch it (she's in another country right now, so we couldn't watch it together)

Anyway, I watched it and....I just don't get it...really I don't.

Sappy? yes, Love Story? yes.

Plot development? no. Surprises? not even close.

I really apologize to those who like this movie, but...

(Spoilers ahead)

Why does the guy take her to a creepy, abandoned mansion for their "first time"?

Why does the girl leave a pretty good, decent fiancee to this first guy who never called her, though she has a phone, wrote letters and never once thought her parents, who she obviously lived with, weren't removing her mail after making it very clear that they (at least the mother) hated him?

She tells her fiancee there's nothing to worry about, so she goes and does *ahem* everything with the other guy, and we're supposed to feel all good about it? I mean I could understand if the fiancee was really a bad person and she discovered it later on, but I never got that impression.

Why would her mother keep all of the letters in a safe place if she didn't like the idea for 7 years, then say she was in love with that other guy in the rock quarry? It didn't make sense.

Also, the letters are apparently not even really seen until the end of the movie, like the last 2 minutes, and that's when they're inside a notebook...is that the supposed story that he's reading to her via the letters? How? why would he write 365 letters re-hashing every day of their lives until that point?

(End spoilers)

Please tell me what I'm missing. I realize I'm NOT the target market, but I don't get it.

May I suggest you give us a book, tv or movie show you enjoy and we pick it apart?

Based on your post you are insisting that every bit of the movie was predictable, but implausible... Really? If you could see all of it coming, why don't you think it could possibly happen?

Based on your critique Rachel McAdams character shouldn't have left her fiancée, but her Mom should have left hers and got together with the gentleman from the rock quarry (or somehow managed to never fall in love with him in the first place? or was just the fact that the Mom was a person with a history a problem for you?). What's the difference?

As for the letters, I don't get your problem. They made it pretty clear Ryan's character didn't have the means for travel, or long distance calls. Besides if the letters weren't getting through what makes you so sure they would let him see or speak to her via telephone or in person?

Ditto your problem with the old house. He shared a small house with his Dad, a hotel would have been out of the question with respect to cost and discretion.... So?

When I watched the movie I assumed he also kept a journal, but either way what do you want him to write about every day? Things that didn't happen?

Its fine if you don't like a movie. But the plot "holes" you think exist aren't really there.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

I'm a woman who is a sap for romantic things, and I don't care for the movie either.

However, my dislike for it comes from a dislike of all of Nicholas sparks' work. To me his stories are all the same. Couple falls in love, complications get in the way, couple gets together at least one more time to express that they still love each other, and at some point someone dies (may be one of the couple, or a supporting character, either way it is a way to make the reader/viewer cry).

I liked the first book of his that I watched, but when I read the second one and it followed the same formula he lost me as a fan. Now, there is nothing wrong with formulaic writing. A lot of my mysteries that i love follow a formula. I personally just get bored with romance novels that follow a formula. I'm sure there are posters that are the opposite, love the romances but hate the predictability of mysteries. That is why there are different genres, something for everyone.

I think it's funny that people are getting offended that you don't get the movie and are picking out some of the things you don't like. People tend to have blinders on when it comes to things they love.

Don't try to hard to understand or like the movie. To be honest with you, it's not going to help your chances with this lady. If she bases her opinions of a man in whether or not he likes the notebook, then she is crazy and you should run for the hills anyway. But kudos for trying to take an interest in something she likes.

 

[lovesmurfs]

However, my dislike for it comes from a dislike of all of Nicholas sparks' work. To me his stories are all the same. Couple falls in love, complications get in the way, couple gets together at least one more time to express that they still love each other, and at some point someone dies (may be one of the couple, or a supporting character, either way it is a way to make the reader/viewer cry).

I've only read "Message in a Bottle." I felt so "wronged" when the main character finally realized he loved her, and then NS killed him off. It might be wrong, but I swore off his stuff right then and there.

 

[happygirl]

A little off topic, Has anyone read the "The Wedding"

 

[ChrisFL]

Don't try to hard to understand or like the movie. To be honest with you, it's not going to help your chances with this lady. If she bases her opinions of a man in whether or not he likes the notebook, then she is crazy and you should run for the hills anyway. But kudos for trying to take an interest in something she likes.

Oh, I'm not worried about that, she didn't even ask me to watch it, I just wanted to, then I just didn't get what all of the fuss was about.

I like romance movies, but something that has more substance. My favorite romance movie is probably "Atonement" which is in a completely different league IMO.

 

[laurafergie]

I think it's great the OP is at least attempting to understand why his ladyfriend like something. That's great and shows he is a thoughtful person.

The funny thing about the Notebook is actually my DS26 is the one that rented the movie and brought to me to watch. He is a real movie buff and will watch ANY movie. He loved it and knew I would too.

He said that he liked that Noah was a regular guy and that the whole movie was just about ordinary things and events, but what he liked the most about it was the theme of the GREAT LOVE story that ran all through the movie. That it is possible that the "love that conquers all" actually exists.

I LOVED (and cry every time) that even at the end, when Allie was ill, Noah never left her side and loved her enough that he even died with her so she would never be alone. I can not express enough that I wish with all my heart, that when it is mine and my DH's time, we go together.

And the notebook was Allie's journal she wrote, when she realized she was starting to forget. They are not Noah's letters.