A kid at heart
<font color=CC00FF>Doesn't expecting the unexpecte
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2000
- Messages
- 928
Kids say the darndest things!
> > The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in
>
> > class. She called on him and said, Johnny! What are 3, 4, 28 and
> > 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO, and the Cartoon
> > Network!"
> > ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
> > When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an
> > older woman hugging him as he left the house. "Is that your
> > grandmother?" I asked. "Yes, "Chris said. "She's come to visit us for
> > Christmas." "How nice," I said. "Where does she live?" "At the
> > airport," Chris replied. "Whenever we want her, we just go out there
> > and get her."
> > ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
> > When the mother returned from the grocery store, her small son pulled
> > out the box of animal crackers he had begged for, then he spread the
> > animal-shaped crackers all over the kitchen counter. "What are you
> > doing?" his Mom asked. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is
> > broken," the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."
> > ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
> > This little grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one
> > morning. He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of
> > coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of
> > those little green army men in the cup. She said, "Honey, what are
> > these army men doing in my coffee?" Her grandson said, "Grandma, it
> > says on TV 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!'"
> > ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
> > While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
> > shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon
> > rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of
> > old
> > age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found
> > her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced
> > myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and
> > whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
> > heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
> > Apparently, his five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead
> > robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had
> > secured
> > a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the
> > disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the
> > appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of
> > what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather.
> > And unto the Soonnn.....and into the hole he gooooes."
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
> > wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't
> > write,
> > and they won't let me talk!"
> >
> > The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in
>
> > class. She called on him and said, Johnny! What are 3, 4, 28 and
> > 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO, and the Cartoon
> > Network!"
> > ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
> > When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an
> > older woman hugging him as he left the house. "Is that your
> > grandmother?" I asked. "Yes, "Chris said. "She's come to visit us for
> > Christmas." "How nice," I said. "Where does she live?" "At the
> > airport," Chris replied. "Whenever we want her, we just go out there
> > and get her."
> > ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
> > When the mother returned from the grocery store, her small son pulled
> > out the box of animal crackers he had begged for, then he spread the
> > animal-shaped crackers all over the kitchen counter. "What are you
> > doing?" his Mom asked. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is
> > broken," the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."
> > ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
> > This little grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one
> > morning. He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of
> > coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of
> > those little green army men in the cup. She said, "Honey, what are
> > these army men doing in my coffee?" Her grandson said, "Grandma, it
> > says on TV 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!'"
> > ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
> > While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
> > shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon
> > rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of
> > old
> > age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found
> > her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced
> > myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and
> > whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
> > heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
> > Apparently, his five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead
> > robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had
> > secured
> > a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the
> > disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the
> > appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of
> > what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather.
> > And unto the Soonnn.....and into the hole he gooooes."
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
> > wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't
> > write,
> > and they won't let me talk!"
> >
