Kids inviting themselves over..does it bug you?

[hmwnick]

My DS 9 has a friend that often calls & asks if he can spend the night or come over to play. Usually this means his brother will also be coming. It isn't that they misbehave or anything, it just seems rude to me. I have told my kids they are not to ever invite themselves over to someone's house.

Does this happen to any of you or is it just me?

 

[Mad4Mickey]

wait till your kids are teens because then it is on LOL

I cant tell you how many times I came home to a house full of wrestlers eating us out of house and home : ) It was fine with me due to the fact that i always knew where my son was !

I can still find a few "stray's" in the guest room from time to time : ) they are all 19 and 20 now and it still feels right to see those big smelly feet sticking out from under the blankets : )

 

[phorsenuf]

It doesn't bother me one bit. I like having a bunch of kids around and I like knowing where they are too.

 

[js]

My ds friend always asks to come over. Comes from an extremely nice family and home but prefers to hang out over my house.
My dd is about a month shy of 13 and she and her friend that lives on our block are in and out of our house and their house all weekend.
I had the kids here during Christmas vacation and all last weekend, including eating over (we didn't do any sleepovers last week although that usually happens too) but told my kids not this week (although we were out all day today and will be out all day tomorrow).
Anyway, even though I sometimes rather it different, I keep thinking I rather have them get use to being here and enjoy being here (both my kids and their friends) since when they get older I rather know where they are and see them as much as I can because I know sooner or later it will all change.

 

[gradtchr]

We don't have kids here quite yet but my husband and I have talked about this issue and we both agree that we will not mind a bit because it means that we know where our child is.

 

[disneymom3]

You know, I have just realized I have a huge double standard here! It would not bother me at all for some kid to call and ask to come over but I would never let my own kids call up and invite themselves to somebody elses house.

Hmmm. I have thought about it for awhile and nope I still wouldn't let them. I like having kids come here though and have plans for a ping pong table/foosball/airhockey or whatever and a hot tub in years to come. Working on making our house the place to be. I was queen of the freezy pops this last summer so I am partway there!

 

[lowie]

inviting themselves over is one thing, have you ever had a kid ask for just about everything in your house. "oh that smells good, can i have some" or "oh, i like those movies can i borrow them" etc. we had one kid on the block, seriously i thought he'd someday ask me to borrow the car!!

when my kids call to ask if they can eat at a friends or sllep over the 1st thing i ask is if they were invited or did they ask. they are not supposed to ask!!

 

[autumnbaby9]

At least they call and ask first. There are a few kids in our neighborhood that would just show up and not leave no matter how hard we hinted at it. We even had one that tried to stay at the house alone even when we were taking off(so did not happen).

The one that really bothers me though is when it is the parents that are telling their kids to just come over without asking. One lady wanted to sleep rather than watch her kid and sent him our way all the time.

 

[LucyStorm]

I don't see where calling and asking if they can come over is inviting themselves. You have the opportunity to say no, it's not convenient. For me though, I always let the kids come over too. That way I knew where the kids were, what they were doing, and who they were with.

I miss not having a houseful of kids.....

 

[NMAmy]

Nah, it doesn't bother me at all either. DD had one particular friend whose parents were going through a divorce and the parents had some other problems going on at the same time which were not their fault but still stressful. It was a tough situation for her, so a few times, if she couldn't get ahold of dd, she'd call me on my cell and ask if she could sleep over. That's the one kid that we've kind of been a safe haven for--the others just like to hang out here because I have the good snacks and I take them to rent videos. I also like knowing where they are and what they're doing. We have a finished basement with a tv and room & beds to sleep 6 girls comfortably so that's a big draw, too.

 

[va32h]

I don't like it when my friends' children invite themselves over, especially the one that not only invites herself, but asks me to come pick her up!

But there is one friend that I just love, such a sweet girl. She has a standing invitation to come over anytime.

We don't have kids here quite yet but my husband and I have talked about this issue and we both agree that we will not mind a bit because it means that we know where our child is

I completely understand wanting to always know where your child is, but if every parent did this, kids would never be able to play at their friends' houses!

It hurts my feelings when we invite a child over to play and the parent says no, but then wants my child to come to their house instead. Why am I supposed to trust them when they don't trust me?

 

[aprilgail2]

I don't mind at all...it just means someone will be here to entertain her other than ME and maybe I can get some work done LOL..

 

[MushyMushy]

My DD is so guilty of that and it drives me nuts! Nobody ever seems to mind, but I don't like it when she does it. I got to the point where I wouldn't allow her to go visit someone if she initiated the invitation.

On the other hand, it wouldn't bother me if another kid did it to me. I wouldn't have a problem saying no if it wasn't okay with me.

 

[Serena]

My youngest has two friends and they do that all the time. It's more or less a standing offer with both our houses so it's not a big deal.
With my oldest, her best friends were always male so it didn't work out so well with her.

 

[gradtchr]

I completely understand wanting to always know where your child is, but if every parent did this, kids would never be able to play at their friends' houses!

I didn't say that we would never let our child play at a friends house I said that we would not mind if our childs friends called us and asked to come over because we will not mind a bit.

We already have an open door policy with our friends and the same will go with our child's friends.

 

[rockin_rep]

wait till your kids are teens because then it is on LOL

I cant tell you how many times I came home to a house full of wrestlers eating us out of house and home : ) It was fine with me due to the fact that i always knew where my son was !

I can still find a few "stray's" in the guest room from time to time : ) they are all 19 and 20 now and it still feels right to see those big smelly feet sticking out from under the blankets : )

ITA, i love it when we have a houseful! And now that our kids are a little older too, having their friends invite themselves has new meaning...

I realize now that its a huge compliment, that they feel 'wanted' and 'comfy' and 'welcome' here - possibly more than even at their own homes. Our home has always been a hub for our kids and their friends and i hope that continues all thru their college years and vacations etc.

Also, while we may THINK we know their friends families and homes, no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors..... As another poster said, your home may be a 'safe haven' for this child -- and may someday come back as an adult to thank you.

 

[Luv'sTink]

DS friends do it all the time. However, DS does not usually do it and when he has tried a few times it is never OK with their Mothers, funny how that works!

I think DS has asked probably two times to go to someone else's house. He would like to play with their stuff once in a while not just his, KWIM. I let him because he never gets invited over to their house because they always want to come to ours.

 

[DisneyfeverTN]

I never let my kids invite themselves over to their friends' houses. They have to wait to be invited. I don't mind at all when their friends ask to come over to our house though. The only time I did mind was when my oldest DS's friend called and asked if he and his little brother could spend the night. I thought that was rude, but I let them. Then his little brother was mean to my youngest DS. I thought that was very rude of the parents to let their DS ask to have his younger brother spend the night too.

 

[MushyMushy]

I never let my kids invite themselves over to their friends' houses. They have to wait to be invited. I don't mind at all when their friends ask to come over to our house though. The only time I did mind was when my oldest DS's friend called and asked if he and his little brother could spend the night. I thought that was rude, but I let them. Then his little brother was mean to my youngest DS. I thought that was very rude of the parents to let their DS ask to have his younger brother spend the night too.

I can one up you there!

I posted about this last year when it happened, but DD was trying to decide which friend to ask to go to WDW with us, and when she brought it up to one friend, the friend's mother said not unless we'd take the older sister too. TO WDW!!!

Alrighty then.

 

[DisneyfeverTN]

I can one up you there!

I posted about this last year when it happened, but DD was trying to decide which friend to ask to go to WDW with us, and when she brought it up to one friend, the friend's mother said not unless we'd take the older sister too. TO WDW!!!

Alrighty then.

Oh my gosh!! That is beyond rude. I'm surprised you didn't have to take their uncle Ted and Aunt Mary too!!