Well, let's see, I want to answer the questions posed, no I didn't go along. DD and DSIL took lots of video. And DD called me on a cell phone daily. It was a long and exhausting trip - you go twice to Russia. First to meet the child and then you are invited back to adopt your child or children. A 50 year old couple was on the same trip and adopted 2 school age sisters. It is amazing what love will do for children.
It is so expensive to ship anything to Russia, and you never know if it is going to get to one of the orphanages. DD took as much as she could with her in donations, and $700 in cash - she bought 3 strollers there and shopping carts full of medications that were requested by the orphanage doctor. I could go on forever, but I will just hit the highlights.
The first referral was they received was for a 7 month old baby boy who weighed 7 pounds...and it was heart wrenching because the adoption agency sent photos of the child. The international adoption doctor told DD she needed to think with her head and not her heart as there are thousands and thousands of adoptable children in much better health. It took months and then Alexi's photo came and his medical records...and they decided to take a leap of faith and went to Russia to meet him...after a long jouney...they got to the orphanage in this coal town that looks like it is from the depression here in the USA and were told Alexi wasn't there - he was in the hospital...after discussion, they were taken to the hospital and Alexi was in a bed rubbing his face on a bare mattress, crying and crying..no diapers, no medications, and he had pneumonia. They were permitted to take him back to the orphanage and DD and SIL bought him medication at a pharmacy. He had terrible asthma...he was 10 months then. They had chosen the name Nicholas prior to ever getting a referral...and used Alexi's name as his middle name. His other two names were long Russian surnames. Yes, a new life, a baby and new name. Had he been older and really knew his name, they wouldn't have changed it. They had no idea that it would take so long to get him...he ws 7 months when they got his referral which is Russian law and then it took until he was 13 months to bring him home. DD said that as far as you could see there was a sea of little toddler boys, all just as cute as can be, blue eyes, brown eyes, blonde, brunette, and they all knew Mama and Papa and would cling to them. In the visitation room, only the potential parents and adoptees were permitted. DD was invited to visit Alexi's bedroom which is considered an honor. DSIL was not permitted. Babies are potty trained when they are infants. At meals they are not permitted to touch the food, and if they do or they spill something, they go hungry. Our video shows Alexi crying hysterically when his food was all gone...like he lost his mama and dada....it was heart-breaking. When he had a bm they held him under a faucet and ran water over him...no soap....and just changed his clothes. He was wearing pink and yellow pajamas. The workers obviously love the children, but there is only one for every 10...of even less. There are toys that are donated, but they do not appear to be played with. The Russian people are very proud and very different from our culture. When SIL started to cry, he was hushed immediately...it is very insulting to appear that you feel pity of believe that the children are in some way suffering. The most difficult was that a young teen was Alexi's God mother and she came to say good by and cried and cried...in Russian she told them that the last baby who left, the adoptive parents promised to send photos and never did...DD and SIL wanted to adopt her also, but they were only approved for an infant...you must be approved for certain ages...but they have corresponded and have sent things to her via other parents travelling to Russia...and she sent a photo of Nicholas Alexi's baptism..which was so special. Nicholas was a very sick child. He is doing very well now. He received a year of speech and occupational therapy...my DD is an occupational therapist and she is just amazing with him. He is an angel. I wrote to the adoption agency and told them that he will never get from us the joy he has given to us.. we are the blessed ones to have this God given angel in our lives...it has been a huge financial burden, but God knew that Nicholas was to be in our lives. He knows all about Russia and he will tell you he is from Russia...I recently purchased a book written and signed by Barishnikov about a little boy and his grandma...it was perfect. DD was a classical ballet dancer with NYC ballet in school years ago and had the opportunity to take class with Barishnikov. We want Nicholas to know and appreciate his Russian heritage and the sacrifice his mother made so that he would have a good life.
So now they are saving for a baby girl and perhaps a boy too...Nicholas wants a brother, DD wants a girl...whatever happens, it is in God's hands and I know that He has a plan for us....
God bless all you mothers and grandmothers and all of the adopted and waiting to be adopted children....
Susan
PS I donate money every payday through our united way to the adoption agency that DD used as they give 85% of my donation directly to the orphanages....it isn't much, but every penny helps.
We are a "not keeping up with the Jones'" type family...sorry to hear that you friend is a little off course. 
Perhaps if your close enough to her you can try to influence her away from finding her identity in possesions??? I dont know just thinking out loud....
Aimee I really enjoy your ideas and tastes and selections! Great job!!! 
Praise God that your family has lovingly surrounded him...and look how great he is now!!! 
And you thought it would be complicated!!!!
