Kids clubs and a child with anxiety

dlin2011

Earning My Ears
Joined
Mar 6, 2011
Messages
71
She will be 9, will likely hang around her 7yr old sister. She does not do well in new situations or with surprises. Ex: We have talked in great detail about our drive to the airport, flight, hotel stay, getting to the port. She has watched about every YouTube video we can find. So far, she is excited. Still asking questions, but overall excited yet nervous. Thinking about our first few hours, I know it will be pretty crazy with people everywhere. I remember from our first cruise with our oldest, the kids clubs were pretty packed those first few open house hours. Is it still this way? Wondering if it would be better to keep out until after sail away. Of course all the videos are of a fairly empty kids club. We will be on the fantasy western. If we can’t keep her in good spirits, we will have a fairly stressful week. If we can get past that first day, I think we’ll be good. Other tips for cruising with a child with anxiety?
 
You can look for an open house and take her to that before sending her on her own.

But I can only tell you my experience. I have a shy son with some anxiety, but he actually went to the club faster than his outgoing brother. Now my son was 12 at that time, though.

Anyway, she might surprise you.
 
First day hints:
Boarding can be crazy busy.
The terminal at Port Canaveral is very busy between 10:00-12:30 if you arrive after 12:30 the terminal won’t be as busy. You can check in and walk on.
Lunch:
Cabanas is always hectic there will also be a table service restaurant available. There won’t be as much to choose from but it’s much quieter
 
Embarkation day - the terminal in crazy before noon, Cabanas is crazy for lunch (use the MDR), the Club/Lab can be crazy that afternoon as all the families visit during Open House.

I don’t know what time Open House ends that afternoon - you might check Navigators from similar cruises. If you wait until after Sailaway, you may miss Open House. Would she go without you? The next opportunity for Open House would be at some point the next day, but it will only be Club or Lab, not both at the same time like embarkation afternoon.

I would try to make a quick visit embarkation afternoon. Have her pick out something (1-2-3 things) about each the Club and the Lab. Tell her you want to walk through and find those specific things. Maybe have her sister pick something as well. It gives her a focus for the first Open House visit, with a defined “end” (after locating what she had picked out to find). Suggestions like the dress-up area, the crafts area, the media room, Slinky Dog in Andy’s Room, etc.

Enjoy your vacation!
 

In one of the alcoves there is a large table that lights up that kids use for tracing pictures. If she likes drawing, she might like that area. My dd likes to spend a lot of time there. (I believe they have another area for doing other crafts.) It's more calm since everyone is sitting and drawing. I'd look for some of the calmer areas like this, the main area with the light up floor can get crazy with kids playing more active games. You can talk to the cms about your concerns and they can point out the less hectic areas. They will have a Pluto's PJ party on one of the nights. (sometimes they do it more than one night). It's a lot of fun. They get color a pillowcase, watch cartoons, Pluto comes for a visit. One time they got to have a food fight, the kids threw marshmellows at the cms. My dd said they only did the marshmellow one time, she's been to it 3 different times.
 
Yes, the open house will be crowded, but it will be the only time you will get to go in with her. Unless you think she will be comfortable going in for the first time with just her sister, I'd plan on taking her to show her the club to acclimate her.
 
My 13 yr old has anxiety and SPD. What we have found works for us it to go right to pools since typically they are not packed so perfect time for a swim. Adults take turn going into Cabana's to grab food and we head down to cabin around 2 to shower and change. He loved the clubs which surprised me and spent most of his time playing computer games.
Mine also liked to look at the menus ahead of time for dinner so he could be prepared. Not that it mattered since he picked mac n cheese for 14 straight nights on our first cruise!
 
I've only sailed on the Dream but for what it's worth: depending on your arrival time, lunch at Cabanas and Open House on embarkation day can be pretty crazy. You might want to consider a quieter lunch in whichever MDR is open, and then after the assembly drill, some open house time in the clubs during the Sailing Away party (which as far as my family is concerned is not all that... it was a one and done for us but others' mileage may vary)... if this interests you I'd check recent Fantasy Navigators to make that open house during Sailing Away is an option there. Also, not sure if this will help but for what it's worth: one of our sons isn't profoundly anxious but has some sensory issues that do worry him enough to make everyday life difficult sometimes. Loud noises are a particular stressor. On the ship he wears noise-cancelling headphones for things like the assembly drill, fireworks, and afternoon thundershowers, but he hasn't needed them in the Lab/Club at all. Reports vary, but in five cruises we've never walked in there to find some Lord of the Flies situation with crazed screaming children racketing all over the place and running each other down. The MacSpiff Family's advice to you is this: there are quieter places and activities in the clubs available to kids who want/need them. During your first visit ask a counselor to show/tell you about them in case your daughter needs a break when she's there by herself. That's what we did, and the counselor was VERY good and very reassuring with Young Master MacSpiff... and after that he never looked back. He'll have aged out before our next cruise, so on the last one he spent every possible second that he could there. And if your daughter decides she's not comfortable in the clubs, don't worry. There's plenty to do otherwise.
 
my son has anxiety and found the kids clubs to be too chaotic during free play. He found them tolerable during structured activities but they still were not his favorite and he preferred being with me and his grandparents, which was just fine by me... but when I needed him to be there he was willing to be there. He did enjoy some activities like super sloppy science etc, was just able to get past the chaos when focused on a specific activity. You might try her in the clubs for that first rather than a free play time.

He is 11 and our next cruise is in February, I'm hoping he likes the edge better during non specific activity times. I will say that not pressuring him to go helped him to go a little more... it adds to his anxiety if he wants to please me and something is hard for him.

The first day is just outright stressful for me... I think the best thing you can do is to try to go with the flow and not give out any stressy vibes. Don't try to make any last minute reservations, don't need to rush anywhere, if cabanas is too packed be willing to go to the fast food place and just eat something simple rather than the big welcome aboard buffet. We did the MDR lunch because my dad hates buffets and it was very loud and chaotic there too but at least he didn't have to serve himself.

I also booked a room this time with an indoor muster station. That was pretty tough for him, standing outside on deck 4 last time, and my mom has mobility issues so we were actually dismissed early so she could use the elevator before the crowds took it over and it was STILL tough for him. This time it's just the two of us and I booked a room with a more comfortable muster station. That is definitely something i would preview with someone with anxiety and also let her process any feelings/worries she has about why it is necessary.
 
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Lots of great ideas, thanks! I do think she will go to the club by herself if it’s not completely nuts. I like the idea of finding a few things she wants to find on day 1. She’s already excited about asking for pizza by the pool, so we may do that if cabanas is crazy. She also likes to order her own food, so MDRs might be good for lunches. We don’t have a PAT yet, so maybe I’ll aim for later.
 
Lots of great ideas, thanks! I do think she will go to the club by herself if it’s not completely nuts. I like the idea of finding a few things she wants to find on day 1. She’s already excited about asking for pizza by the pool, so we may do that if cabanas is crazy. She also likes to order her own food, so MDRs might be good for lunches. We don’t have a PAT yet, so maybe I’ll aim for later.

Mornings on a port day are your best bet at a quiet club. Lots of people on excursions so it is pretty empty in there :)
 
Thanks for all of these good ideas! My 11-year old is on the autism spectrum with a healthy dose of anxiety. These suggestions are very helpful. For us, we are going to follow her lead for the first day. It will be rough sailing if we push beyond her comfort level.
 
Thanks for all of these good ideas! My 11-year old is on the autism spectrum with a healthy dose of anxiety. These suggestions are very helpful. For us, we are going to follow her lead for the first day. It will be rough sailing if we push beyond her comfort level.
Just remember that at age 11, she can also go to Edge (the tween club). The space is smaller, but it is also a smaller age group; so at times it is probably quieter than the Oceaneers.
 
I've thought about this, but her younger sister will be at Oceaneers and they will likely want to be together. It's worth asking though!
 
My oldest has anxiety: we skip OH, it's too overwhelming and loud. We take advantage of the empty pools and aquaduck instead! Then we look at the navigator and plot out what events he might like to do. I highly recommend looking for past navigators to get an idea of the programming. I also have anxiety and it was a great way for ME to help plan ahead.
 
My daughter has anxiety as well, she was 6 on our last cruise. She loved the kids club but refused to go there without us, so we had to make sure to go there every time there was an open house. It was busy but she was ok as long as we were right there with her.
 

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