Kids and grades

[dicar123]

I don't want to pressure her. I just want her to try to live up to her potential. I'm a lawyer and doing fine in my chosen profession, but I'm still paying the student loans. I also had to sit out a year before going to law school because of my grades and had a hard time getting in with my barely over 3.0 grade average. I'm still paying for my mistakes in not trying in school, paying every month I'm afraid....

I do see what you're saying. I'm on the other side of the boat, I'm afraid. I graduated from the elementary ed program at a local university in 2005 with a 4.0 GPA, totally rocked the PRAXIS, and I cannot find a teaching job to save my life. And I am paying those bills every month too, working a fast food job. No, I'm not bitter!

There are just so many variables in play here. If she's healthy and happy and doing reasonably well in school, while I might give an impatient lecture now and then, I think I'd just let things play out.

 

[momx2]

I do see what you're saying. I'm on the other side of the boat, I'm afraid. I graduated from the elementary ed program at a local university in 2005 with a 4.0 GPA, totally rocked the PRAXIS, and I cannot find a teaching job to save my life. And I am paying those bills every month too, working a fast food job. No, I'm not bitter!

There are just so many variables in play here. If she's healthy and happy and doing reasonably well in school, while I might give an impatient lecture now and then, I think I'd just let things play out.

I hope things turn around for you.

 

[shelly3girls]

Edited to add: I agree that she shouldn't be punished for getting B's, but there should be a consequence for not trying her hardest. What about setting aside 1.5 hours a night specifically for homework. And, if she has no homework, she can use that time for reading. She may benefit from having a dedicated study time everynight. The TV should be off, she shouldn't be doing phone calls etc during this time.

My parents had this rule all through school from the time I was very young. Not a single TV in the house was allowed on from 6-8 (later when I had sports). If I didn't have homework then I needed to read or study. Sometimes my dad would play card games with me if he knew that I didn't have homework or it was complete. Also, no homework in the bedrooms. It was always done in the kitchen together. All 3 kids graduated high honors, Ivy league quality students with many scholarship offers. I know one of my children will and one will not achieve all A's (DS only 3 so the jury is still out) but both are required to follow the homework rules.

 

[MrsPete]

I guess I just don't get it.

Harder for her in the future in what way? Scholarships are certainly nice. What does she plan to do? I'm not sure I'd freak out over grades and getting scholarships if she plans to be a teacher, or a nurse. I even know doctors, lawyers and high-powered business people who lived at home and attended state schools and are doing just fine in their careers.

I guess I just don't understand the POINT of all the pressure?

Pressure comes from being pushed to do more than you're capable of doing. Pressure occurs when you take a kid who's capable of earning Bs and Cs, and you say, "Enroll in this AP class, and I expect an A."

Expecting a kid to achieve at his ability level is not pressure. It's expecting him to put forth effort and be successful.