Just moved--how do we make friends?! Help!

[eolian]

http://www.cincinnatimommies.com/

Try this website, I belong to their site for my area and find it is wonderful for meeting people!

 

[kidsicet]

We moved when DD was a toddler. It was hard leaving behind the people we knew and step out of our comfort zone. I met a lot of neighbors just by walking around the neighborhood. I did find it easier to meet new people and make friends when DD entered preschool. She'd meet kids she liked, and we invited them to playdates at the park, etc. (parents included). I found that people generally enjoy telling you about the ins and outs of the city when you're new, and that's a good way to break the ice and start up a conversation.

Good luck! It will take time, but just getting out there and talking to people will definitely open some doors to opportunities.

 

[Bren's Mom]

I agree with something one of the other posters said...have a party!

Not a birthday party, just a 'we are new to the area and we want to get to know dd/ds classmates and their parents, please join us for <insert some fun age appropriate activity here>, we look forward to meeting all of you!' Something along those lines.

A fall theme of some kind so you can do it would be awesome. Try not to do Halloween weekend since you don't know yet what local activites might prevent people from attending. I had friends and kids over for a mini apple pie baking playdate. The kids were barely 2 but we had a ball! This would work for older kids also. It's very easy to set up, if you need more details feel free to ask. You can do Halloween/Fall cookie baking with your older dd, the girls would like that. Or a costume party the Saturday afternoon a week before Halloween, give everyone another chance to wear their costume. You're only limited by your imagination, and it doesn't have to be hard on your budget. You can have the party at a time that won't include a meal, serve some veggies, pretzels and dip, or just some sweets.

Best of luck settling into your new home and finding some new friends!

 

[Katy Belle]

It can be rough at first. It does take effort. I learned after Move #1 that there is no Welcome Wagon! I am not a naturally outgoing person, but you HAVE to force yourself to talk to people, introduce yourself, have people over to your home, call parents of kids in your children's classrooms, etc. Some towns are harder to get 'in' than others. If its the type of place where everyone has lots of extended family, plus all of their own childhood friends, its tough to get in, but NOT impossible.

Are two of your DDs in school or just one? I would talk to the teachers and get names of girls the teacher reccommends, or girls your daughters have come home talking about. Invite a friend for each of your girls every Friday for a while. Make it easy for the other Mom, like you will pick them up from school and feed them dinner, etc. Hopefully this will start relationships for all of you.

You've gotten lots of good advice here. Church is really great. People are in the mode of making you feel welcome. Libraries, etc. are a bit trickier...you must be the one to introduce yourself, etc. Go to storytime with the intent of inviting someone you meet there to go to a playground, or McDonald's or somewhere. It can be as easy as, "Hey we are going to go play at the McDonald's playland now. Would you guys like to come along?" Just make sure its clear you want the MOM to come too or you will be the babysitter!

Getting your older DD involved in a Saturday activity or afternoon activity should help too. As long as you introduce yourself to the parents standing on the sidelines at the soccer games!

Good luck! The great thing about moving is you GET to make new friends that you will have forever!

Katy

 

[emma'smom]

We moved to Ohio from NYC a few years ago....and had to build a whole new social network. Some thoughts:

Church- Find some that matches your general belief system (liberal/conservative) and try them out. You don't need to get into the deep spiritual stuff to meet some great families and join in their fellowship activities. We have a really great "younger families" fellowship group and some of the folks are in church every week---other just occasionally. The fellowship time really isn't as much about religion as much as spending time with other families.

Consider volunteering at your child's school (particularly the 5 year old) when you can (even it means arranging child care a few times a month) or join the PTA and actively work on projects that you can do with other moms (like planning a school carnival, etc)...even at home.

My best advice is to let others know that you are looking to get involved and meet people. Tell you acquaintances that you are trying to get to know new people so if they hear of any play groups, book clubs (for moms), or other volunteer opportunities you would be interested in knowing more about them.

Chances are someone will invite you...or pass your name along. If you get invited to something (anything).....try to go (even if it is a Pampered Chef party or something) just to meet people. Also, if you are invited to something and genuinely can't go--Say "I'm really sorry that we have something else planned, but please ask me again. I am really very interested in getting together." I've done this so that whoever has invited me knows that I'm not making excuses because I'm not really interested.

Just be friendly and vocal that you are looking for new friends. Talk to the other moms on the sidelines at soccer or swimming lessons or ballet (or whatever). Comment on how much you like their shoes, what they are reading, whatever. To be honest, in these small Ohio towns---everyone knows everyone and "new blood" is refreshing!

It can be rough at first. It does take effort. I learned after Move #1 that there is no Welcome Wagon! I am not a naturally outgoing person, but you HAVE to force yourself to talk to people, introduce yourself, have people over to your home, call parents of kids in your children's classrooms, etc. Some towns are harder to get 'in' than others. If its the type of place where everyone has lots of extended family, plus all of their own childhood friends, its tough to get in, but NOT impossible.

Are two of your DDs in school or just one? I would talk to the teachers and get names of girls the teacher reccommends, or girls your daughters have come home talking about. Invite a friend for each of your girls every Friday for a while. Make it easy for the other Mom, like you will pick them up from school and feed them dinner, etc. Hopefully this will start relationships for all of you.

You've gotten lots of good advice here. Church is really great. People are in the mode of making you feel welcome. Libraries, etc. are a bit trickier...you must be the one to introduce yourself, etc. Go to storytime with the intent of inviting someone you meet there to go to a playground, or McDonald's or somewhere. It can be as easy as, "Hey we are going to go play at the McDonald's playland now. Would you guys like to come along?" Just make sure its clear you want the MOM to come too or you will be the babysitter!

Getting your older DD involved in a Saturday activity or afternoon activity should help too. As long as you introduce yourself to the parents standing on the sidelines at the soccer games!

Good luck! The great thing about moving is you GET to make new friends that you will have forever!

Katy

 

[mousehouselover]

Join the YMCA. They have tons of programs for kids, adults and families. Ours has regularly scheduled family nights as well as Kid's Night Out (drop off the kids for a few hours and the adults have a night off.) Most Ys also offer non-sports activites so it's more than just a gym envoirnment. Most of the events cost something but I found them to be pretty reasonable.

 

[tessieg]

Thank you all so much for the wonderful suggestions! I hae started to make some connections and hope maybe we will find a fit.
I did introduce myself to the mom of a child my daughter raves about from school and we did schedule a play date.
I am also taking the little one to a moms club playgroup soon.
I will look into some of the other ideas.
You guys are great--wish you all lived in my neighborhood!!!
Tessie

 

[Missus Toad]

We moved across the country one year ago, and what I can tell you is that it really helped to join the local YMCA and a church. The Y is very active in our area, and we participate with their youth groups/leagues and summer camp. The kids made friends fast and we run into them at their schools and just around town. The church is also a good network for another group of friends. Also, look into neighborhood groups to meet kids in your immediate vicinity because they'll be going to school with your kids. I know moving is hard on everyone, but your kids will get into a groove before you know it it with a little help from you.

 

[bas71873]

I too am new to my area....subbing because DD6 is in the same situation. She is making more friends thru dance than school/neighborhood. My biggest shock....how clique-ish 6 year olds already seem to be. Scary!

 

[CLR4321]

I agree with the PP's that I have read....but wanted to add that signing kids up for school programs, sports, boy or girl scouts, etc is a great way to let them meet friends and have fun, rather than just sitting around after school and on the weekends. Good luck!