Just found out I got HPV...

[LittleRydia]

Im only 21, and just earlier today found out my coloscopy (spell check that one) Came back and I found out I have signs of pre-cancer from the cause I have HPV.

The thing about this is.. Ive only been with one person. Which is now my current fiance. I have so many questions and what ifs about this. My mother of course freaked out and does not want me seeing him ever, ever again. I can understand, since we know I got it from him. But he didnt even know he has it. I know he didnt give it to me on purpose but shes making it like he did.

Now she is telling me things like, he is going to die since its probably to late for him. She was saying I could also since we know ive had it a few months if not more since the test kept taking so long.

But I did some research on the computer and found out HPV is more common then I thought, that it was its rare for men to get the cancer and that most cases it goes away on its own? Im wanting to know who here has it/had gone through this before. I know I can talk to a thousand doctors but its not the same as to hearing it from someone whos been in the same case as me.

This is just all upsetting to me, for I told him I love him with all my heart, and I want to get something done for the both us. Hes depressed by it, thinking im going to leave him because of this. It does not help the fact my mom litterally called him a peice of crap and said I dont want you around my daughter anymore.

Please, im just needing not only support from the dis people.. but some advice on this also.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

I need to do a little research on this myself before I attempt to answer you on what I think, but I do know this no one can predict the future, no one can say when people will die, not even doctors.....so hang in there....I will get back after I read up on this a bit..
OK..I did some quick reading and see what this is.....I can understand your Mom being upset as you are her daughter and she is worried about you. As far as your BF, this was transmitted to you probably by him.....I would make sure that I do everything in my power to take care of myself, get medical help and suggest that he gets help as well. Please know we are here for you if you need to talk, but right now you need to get advice from the medical field.

Try not to worry....just do what they tell you to do and make sure he does as well.

 

[safetymom]

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I think you and your fiance and mother need to get more information so that you can all deal with this.

Please come here to vent. Sending hugs.

 

[meeskamouska]

I was diagnosed with HPV when I was twenty....I have never had any signs of it since...some DRs say it was a misdiagnoses, some say it is not showing itself right now. The way I learned it men are carriers and it truly has no affect on them. This is a very common virus and can lead to cervical cancer...not WILL lead to it!!!
In my opinion you should change nothing about your relationship and seek a second opinion!!!

 

[Christine]

Men are usually silent carries of the disease (virus). They never get symptoms, never know they have it, and rarely suffer any complications from it.

A woman can often "catch" the various forms of HPV one or several times during her life. In most cases, the virus hang around for awhile, the body fights it off, and it goes away as with any other virus. Sometimes people get "lucky" and catch it during an active phase during the regular OB/GYN checkup. Other times, a woman will never know she has had it. Like me, I'm 42 and it has never turned up for me (and lets just say that my teens years were rather "exciting" ).

In your particular case, while the virus was active it cause cervical cells in your body to mutate and become pre-cancerous. You're just lucky I guess... (NOT). Anyway, I believe your mom is probably overreacting but it is due to fear.

You do need to discuss with your doctor how to treat your fiance because you don't want to continue to get reinfected with it (if that's possible).

 

[LittleRydia]

Thanks to everyone who posted, and well yes he called the doctor today and has a appointment monday morning to get checked out for it. The doctor said he might not even be infected by it, but just a carrier. So hopefully they can give him something to help me from getting infected again after the treatment.

My mom is doing better today, I think she finally relized how much me and my fiancee do love each other and that we can get through this. He really though is taking this the hardest, always asking me if I do love him, and saying he is sorry for this happening.

As soon as I get more news, ill post it.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

You all are going in the right direction with treatment and your Mom is onboard so this is good.....Just listen to the doctors who are the experts and stay focused on what is good for you...

 

[Sherri]

I had this when I was 22 and found out after my second child was born.
Now back in 1992 the internet wasn't so big, or if it was I didn't have it (maybe that was a good thing). I never knew much about it other then what my Doctor had said. I needed to have a simple procedure done in the hospital called loop surgery. It has been many years and I have been fine. For a while I had to go every six months for a pap smear after the surgery to make sure everything was fine. I did that for a few years. I am ashamed to say that I have not gone for one in years (this post is reminding me that I probably should).
Chances are everything will be fine for you. Good luck with everything.

 

[kg66]

I too had this when I was around 25, and I'm now a healthy 40 y.o .Mom of 2 adorable daughters. That was my biggest fear, can I still have children? I contraced herpes from my then 10 yr BF. (Kicked him to the curb, since I was his first), and in turn also contracted HPV. My OB/GYN said they were indirectly related. He also did the colposcopy with Biopsy, the result, abnormal cells, pre-cancerous. I freaked, since I had already broken up with my then BF when I was diagnosed with Herpes, and was now engaged to someone else 2 years later. I had to have Cryotherapy in his office. Which is basically dry ice to burn off the cells. Trust me , not painful. The colposcopy with biopsy was much worse. After the treatment, I had to have paps every 6 months for 2 years. And years later I'm still clean. Please ask questions with your Dr. , and keep the communication open between your Mom and your fiance. You're going through enough, you don't need that stress. Your body has a lot of work to do, it doesn't need that stress. PM if you need to talk. Extra pixie dust from Canada for you.

 

[carrie s]

I had HVP years ago.The doctor just kept an eye on it,did a pap test every 6 months.It cleared up on its own and never came back.

 

[2Princes2Princesses]

I have cervical dysplasia from HPV. Human Papilloma Virus is separate from the dysplasia.

HPV is VERY common. It is estimated that 80% of the population has it and most will never know. Men do not die from HPV. Noone dies from HPV. It is the cervical cancer that can develop years after the infection that is the problem. Your BF will not die. He cannot get cervical cancer.

Mine was found on colposcopy, as well, and I flipped. However, I may have had it years ago and had no cell mutation until that time. Your BF cannot repeatedly reinfect you. HPV is a virus....look at it like chicken pox. Once you have been infected, that is it. There is no "treatment" or "cure" for HPV as long as you don't break out in the warts.

On colposcopy, when they look at your abnormal cells, they will say they are deformed in an "HPV-like" way (I know, HOW HELPFUL!).

For me, all that was required was that I get Pap smears every 6 months to make sure there were not additional changes. After 2, they started coming back normal and have been normal ever since.

If the area of dysplasia is large, or they are concerned, they will do a LEEP, which is basically burning off the bad cells. But you may not even need this.

The one thing to keep in mind is, even when your Pap's start coming back normal.....GO EVERY YEAR. Do not miss a Pap smear. Since you know you have been infected with HPV at some point, you know you are at a somewhat higher risk for cervical cancer. Make sure you get your Pap smears, either yearly or every 6 months, as determined by your doctor.

And as for your BF.....he would have had no IDEA he had this, unless he had broken out in warts. If your mom thinks he is the spawn of the devil, well any man who has ever had sex is potentially able to spread this. So he did nothing wrong. Like I said, there are huge numbers of people infected. Usually, they do not have a breakout unless they are immunocompromised in some way.

There is a new HPV vaccine. Gardisil. My 14 year old is getting it next month. I wish they had that when I was young.

But don't be afraid. You have a good chance that you will never develop cervical cancer. Getting a Pap every year will help them catch anything funny right away. This will not affect your ability to have kids....they won't catch it from you or anything. Good luck and I wish you well.

 

[Jake & Crew]

So true PAP EVERY YEAR, NO EXCEPTIONS!!!

One year ago this October (10/05)I was told at 36 I had Stage 1 ( almost 2) cancer. This was after 2 procedures after a July (7/05) PAP came back abnormal. Now here is the learning curve for everyone ~ That July Pap was 17 months after my previous PAP(1/04) which I thought was normal b/c heard no differently. Unknown to me that 1/04 PAP was not normal so it was tested for HPV, guess what NO HPV, so the doctor did not even tell me about it.

They were shocked when 18 months later I had staged cancer. This does not happen, so they thought. Granted I am a case that falls in that 1 to 3% range, but someone has to be there so everyone must know:

(1) You can get cervical cancer even if you do not have HPV, get the PAP

(2) If you have HPV and increased risk of cancer it can stage in under 2 years, get the PAP every 12 MONTHS, no exceptions.

(3) Some doctors, health insurance companies say differently ( only 1 to 3% remember) I am proof that 1 to 3% have families, love life, deserve the best chances too ~GET THE PAP EVERY 12 months, do not let them tell you it is okay to do every 3 to 5 years.

I am happy to share my case with anyone's doctor who is trying to tell them differently. I am blessed with 2 beautiful girls ( 4 and 6) who I am fighting a round of pre-cancer this time for. Even when I win this round, because of last years surgeries I will never have any more children and will deal with complications from that surgery for the rest of my life. I am grateful just to have my life.

There is nothing to be scared of as long as you stay on top of that PAP schedule, this time we are getting the cells in the pre cancer stage and I feel confident this is a much better place to be!! I am tested every 3 months until I am "clear" for 2 years then every six months until I am five years. To me the PAP means Peace And Prevention!!! GET THE PAP!

 

[duendecilla999]

Hi, I just wanted to thank you all for your comments... I've been browsing for HPV-related websites and this forum really made me think that it's not that bad, it made me feel less alone. I even cried a little because I find comfort in the kindness of strangers and I can't even talk about HPV with my own family guess that is very common (I think it is SAD).

I was diagnosed with a benign form of HPV a few weeks ago. I got it in a party - I was feeling very lonely and depressed at that time so it was easy for me to take drugs. I do not remember anything from what happened and what I recall is blurry. I did feel guilty as I've had a boyfriend for a year and now I do not know if I have infected him too. I've already told him and I hope for the best, usually the girls are the ones with more risks though and at least I know it is not pre-cancerous. I am trying hard to accept my errors and responsibilities and to forgive the guy (and myself), it is very difficult.

I only had the courage to tell my mom about the virus but not about how I got it. Obviously she has a very bad opinion of my boyfriend now. Another thing is that I'm currently in France but need to visit a doctor as I do not feel well again, but I'm afraid to tell my sister, she does not know anything and I cannot lie to her as I would need her to translate for me. How complicated! I am only hoping to hang on for a while, wait two weeks until I'm in Austin again. But then, I live there with my dad and step-mom, they know nothing about this either and I'm afraid to tell them to take me with someone but at least I do not have to tell them the details.

PARENTS, TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN, so much suffering regarding sexuality is unnecessary. Silence and hypocrisy are harmful and painful, especially in girls and in conservative societies like Mexico, where I am from. Had there been any communication channel things would have gone differently. How can there be so much fear regarding a girl's desire and needs? I just don't get it. I just know there is much shame.

I admire everyone that has gone through cancer and many diseases, I mean I'm alright, and here I am crying and feeling terrible and afraid (of both diseases and doctors with their cold, horror-movie invasive instruments centuries of medicine for that??) ...where people with real problems have a good attitude and an extraordinary love for life. I wish I were stronger.

Sorry for telling you all this, I am very sad and with no one to talk to,

 

[Jake & Crew]

first you are not alone.....stop being so hard on yourself, everyone makes mistakes, strong courageous people realize they were mistakes and move forward from them ~ you sound like a strong courageous woman to me.

make sure you get PAPS ~ HPV does not =cancer just increased risk, HPV FREE does not = Health ( read my post).

I know what it is like to be embarrassed, try telling your family with your dad and brother in the room what the cells in your ****** are doing ( talk about societial taboo talking cancer and the location had to be censored!!)

I have learned to find the humor, please keep your chin up and smile you are a beautiful person ( or you would not care so much about strangers talking to their kids) Laugh loud, laugh often but most of all do not let unnecessary embarrasment keep you from constantly evaluating your health with trained medical help!!!

 

[flying_babyb]

. He really though is taking this the hardest, always asking me if I do love him, and saying he is sorry for this happening.

As soon as I get more news, ill post it.

 

[carrie s]

Im praying for you

 

[duendecilla999]

Hi all! Jake & Crew, thank you for your post. It truly made me feel better! But I do not have a brother hah, I have a sister.

I am yet to tell my dad/stepmom about my needs as I am still traveling but with your support I am more convinced that I need to take care of myself. I am ashamed of being so ashamed to talk about this with them and also to know I will be lying about things, as the reality is too painful. I do not want my dad to worry either and he can't do anything now either so what's the point? OR maybe they are just excuses and I am not brave enough to trust him. Well, whatever happens I am about to send them emails to see if we can arrange an appointment so I go to someone as soon as I go back.

Thanks for everything really J & C! and thanks to all the people here that take time to cheer up others, you are the best!

-Sandra

 

[Jake & Crew]

Sandra

I am so excited for you that you are taking steps to take care of yourself, that is so important.....you have a long, happy life ahead of you so lets keep it healthy!!!

If you ever need any support in the future just post here, there are some wonderful people who just want to spread and for you!!!

Remember life is GOOD!

also do not worry about sharing the details of how you got in your situation, as a mom I know I am most concerned about my kids health and if they have learned and are ready to move forward that is all we need. Share the future and never repeat the past.

Kate

 

["Got Disney"]

I am a nurse of 22 years, OB-GYN and Labor and Delivery...HPV is very very common and anytime you have unprotected sex the chances of getting HPV are very high. They are just ******l warts...sounds kind of gross but that is what they are.

Men get them on there ***** and if you examine your botfriend you may see them...they are raised growths. He can go to a urologist and get better checked and be removed.

You on the other hand if they get out of hand need to have them frozen off through cryosurgery in a GYN office. It is a virus so once you have it you will always have it. But the warts can go away.

I have never met anyone yet who has died from them....and just about everyone in my line of work that I have come across has it.

If it makes you feel any better I have had HPV for 30 years and I'm still here. Have 2 kids and a DH that has it. Not sure if I gave it to him , or him me, or that we both had it in the first place. I never even think about it to tell you the truth. I get my paps every year and they are always normal.

Had cryo years ago to get rid of them and it was a done deal.

So don't fret and don't be mad at your boyfriend(unless he told you that you were the first) and move on....it is not like Herpes or Gonorrhea...it is HPV...if you have any more questions you can PM me ....

Have a great wedding

 

[duendecilla999]

Hi Kate and everbody

Just to mention I finally went to a checkup and everything went fine, I have tried some yoga and tai chi to relax and I think it helped me a lot! I will take some treatment (and vitamins), go once again for a cryotherapy and after that, it seems I'm clear

Kate, after all that ended and I realized I had worried so much for so little it was like I was alive again..we went to the market after that and I was just so happy to be alive ... I don't think anyone was smiling as much as me over there... life is so precious and we never see how much we have that can be gone in a minute

Let's keep up the good spirits to be healthy very soon... (I think this whole drama has taught me to take better care of myself and treat myself better) .. probably all this mess was worth the teaching.



THANK YOU KATE YOU ARE THE BEST!! I hope you're doing well !!