Just back- little dissapointed (not in the CM's in us)

[ireland_nicole]

Hi y'all. Just wanted to take the opportunity to answer any questions anyone might have about being at the world with an ASD tween this time of year. It was our first (and probably last) Christmas trip. It was quite a bit more crowded than I expected, and the Christmas party was absolutely chaotic- I will definitely not repeat the experience.

Other than that, the CM's were as amazing as ever, the parks were as clean as always, and the accessability was great.

My disappointment is mostly in my DD's behavior and myself. She has always done better at WDW but this trip seemed like meltdown after meltdown- I'm surprised no one started a thread about a particular Epcot extravaganza. I did everything that's worked in the past, but it just wasn't enough. I'm not sure if hormones are starting to rear their ugly head or what, but I'm definitely not excited about taking her back. And because I did this one as a mother/daughter trip I didn't have DH to help, so it was 9 days of pushing the wheelchair and managing 24/7. To my embarassment, by day 7 she would say "i hate you" and I would reply "i hate you too". Ugh. Sorry to be Debbie Downer, but I guess I just needed to tell someone who might understand. I've never been disappointed with a trip to my happy place before; and this time, I couldn't wait to leave.

I have a trip planned w/ my DS in 9 months, and I'm really hoping the "do over" will be better.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

I'm so sorry your trip was disappointing. I can definitely relate to your experience. My DD and I had a particularly difficult trip when she was 5. It was just a few months before we received her diagnosis, and she had multiple violent meltdowns on the trip. I came back covered in bruises from being hit, kicked, and bit. I was so discouraged and defeated I couldn't bring myself to even visit these boards for several months. But I took the lessons from that trip, plus the added help that came from her diagnosis and medication, and we had an incredible trip about 2 years later.

Don't beat yourself up for your response to your DD. We all have our limits. I had a similar blow up with my DD the day after Thanksgiving. We've been having a really rough fall, and DD has been telling me she hates me and doesn't want me to be her mom any more. My response had always been "I'll always be your mom, and I'll always love you." She had a meltdown the Friday after Thanksgiving while we were at my brother's house. She was hitting me and telling me she hated me. I finally cracked and told her "I hate you too. Now how does that feel?" I was so angry at myself for letting her words get to me, but I'm human and I'd reached my limit of what I could deal with right then.

 

[bookwormde]

We just finished a trip around Thanksgiving and it was crowded and challenging, so I hear what you are saying, and we probably will avoid all holidays from now on.

Life is an ongoing experimant for our kids, and sometimes they are a failures, and we do not always handle it as well as we wouold like, but as parents we are only human.

Next time will be better, do not beat yourself up, just learn, and do not be afraid to take risks and try new thinks since that is a primary need of or kids, even if it does not work out sometimes.

 

[Bete]

We can all go through word anger on either side and it comes to past fortunately. I believe in a lot of hugging and holding hands and so forth. This seems to calm both parties down. I even use our dog to calm the situation down, if I know the dog won't be in harms way. If I know I have a challenge ahead the dog can really help before it gets ugly. I've used prayer, too.

I think sometimes we need to walk away if we can in certain instances to let the meltdown pass or at least get far enough away to be safe all around.

I have a different circumstance, but the situation is similar.

 

[jlevis]

Sounds like we have some great mom's on the site who are human beings too. Don't beat yourself up.

 

[MaggieMollyMom]

I'm so sorry you had a difficult time. no advice really, but just know, like others have said, you are human and we all go thru this at some point in one way or another. i'm sure the crowds and that stress alone was not fun. i hope next time will be better for both of you. my daughters are still preschool aged but maybe the hormones are indeed a factor for you dd...can't wait! lol

 

[krisnme]

Awww, Sorry it was so bad for both of you! I know how exhausting it is to push a chair at the parks. As a single parent I also know that there are breaking points and we all hit them at some time. I know parents of "normal" kids who have hollered "I hate you" at their kids and they don't have the same challenges we do!. DS's therapist says this behavior is a way for your child to say "I am miserable and I need you to be as miserable as I am" its actually a way for her to make sure you are still connected. She still loves and needs you, don't beat yourself up.

 

[EvangelineG]

I'm sorry to hear about your trip, but I agree with the pp's, don't beat yourself up! We just got back too, and had many ups and downs.

I had wanted to give you a ring on our MK night (Monday the 28th) to see if we could meet up, but I found I was just too overwhelmed looking after my sons' needs, as well as wrangling a group of 10. I can't imagine how tough it would have been without my DH there to support and provide relief. At a couple of points when one of my sons was in full on "I hate mom" meltdown mode, DH was able to whisk him away to give us both time to cool down. So you have my complete sympathy for how tough it would have been to be one on one for the whole trip. I hope your next trip is much easier!

 

[minkydog]

Wow. A 9 day trip would have me melting down too! Sorry it went badly. It really could be her hormones at work. My DD started having cycles of moodiness when she was about 9yo. Threee or four days a month she was all tears and no pleasing her. When she finally started her periods it was almost a relief! She still had moods, but at least i knew what to expect (and we weren't trying to deal with it at WDW in December )

Take a deep breath and a glass of wine. You both will be okay.

 

[blondietink]

We were at WDW Dec. 4th - 11th with my 2 young adult special needs sons. It was exhausting! there was so much to see and do ... even though we have been there at this time of year before, we just couldn't handle it. Maybe it is my age. MY DH and I discussed it and as we are getting older, I think we will have to start staying lmore days and doing less each day. Not a bad thing, but it will be different. Just too much running around trying to see/do everything. The weather was not as good as we would have liked and it was way more crowded than it had been at the same time of year 4 years ago. DS age 19 with Autism was very upset we didn't go to MVMCP and we had "words" over this as he couldn't understand the affordability of buying tickets.

We really like a break in the middle of the day and December is not a time of year that is pool weather to relax. We went in April this year also and found it much better. Even though it was crowded, the parks were open very early and very late, so it spread out the crowds nicely.

Everybody was very nice as usual, even the other guests, but it just wasn't as magical as it should have been.

 

[blondietink]

We were at WDW Dec. 4th - 11th with my 2 young adult special needs sons. It was exhausting! there was so much to see and do ... even though we have been there at this time of year before, we just couldn't handle it. Maybe it is my age. MY DH and I discussed it and as we are getting older, I think we will have to start staying lmore days and doing less each day. Not a bad thing, but it will be different. Just too much running around trying to see/do everything. The weather was not as good as we would have liked and it was way more crowded than it had been at the same time of year 4 years ago. DS age 19 with Autism was very upset we didn't go to MVMCP and we had "words" over this as he couldn't understand the affordability of buying tickets.

We really like a break in the middle of the day and December is not a time of year that is pool weather to relax. We went in April this year also and found it much better. Even though it was crowded, the parks were open very early and very late, so it spread out the crowds nicely.

Everybody was very nice as usual, even the other guests, but it just wasn't as magical as it should have been.

 

[persimmondeb]

I've been seriously thinking about going next year from December 21-25, avoiding any park like the plague on the 25th, but this is giving me some pause. DS is HFA and will be 17 by then, and I thought we'd probably be fine if we added the park hopping and tried to be flexible.

He is usually, especially if he's not hungry or upset, able to say "Mommy, this is too much, let's get out of here". I have a number of management strategies, and DTD always works as a fallback strategy, but if it's that crowded, I'm worried about those working.

Is DTD going to be insanely crazy as well? Is the entire World so bats that we really don't want to be near the place? He loves, loves, loves Christmas stuff, and we've been having a rough December this year, so right now it sounds like a good idea, but I'm wondering.

 

[dclfun]

I've been seriously thinking about going next year from December 21-25, avoiding any park like the plague on the 25th, but this is giving me some pause. DS is HFA and will be 17 by then, and I thought we'd probably be fine if we added the park hopping and tried to be flexible.

He is usually, especially if he's not hungry or upset, able to say "Mommy, this is too much, let's get out of here". I have a number of management strategies, and DTD always works as a fallback strategy, but if it's that crowded, I'm worried about those working.

Is DTD going to be insanely crazy as well? Is the entire World so bats that we really don't want to be near the place? He loves, loves, loves Christmas stuff, and we've been having a rough December this year, so right now it sounds like a good idea, but I'm wondering.

That timeframe is one of the busiest at WDW and all the parks will be packed, with busses packed as well. I live locally and would NOT go anywhere near WDW at that time- it's just too overwhelming. I would go a week earlier or the first week of December if you can manage it.---Kathy

 

[persimmondeb]

Is everywhere crazy? I know the parks will be packed, and I'm not that worried about busses, since he's used to public transportation and thinks it's normal for those to be crowded, but I need a bail-out strategy. Resort (not necessarily ours) public areas and restaurants usually work well as a decompress, especially during the day, but if those are jammed as well, it could be a problem. Also if DTD is too busy to walk in, get near the little sand pit in T-REX, get at the Lego etc., especially if it's all day and night long, not just at prime time (which I think of as between 6-10).

He'll swim probably to the mid-60's, and hot tub at less than that, but we won't. He can swim well enough that an adult doesn't need to dress for the water, but I wouldn't leave him completely unsupervised, and our tolerance for sitting poolside in sweatshirts is limited. He adores Christmas things, but he can get frustrated with crowds, particularly if it's not a neat and orderly line, but that slow moving morass of people. He's highly verbal and can usually express the difficulty, but how he reacts to things is quirky.

 

[blondietink]

We went to DTD once during our recent trip. thought the stores opened at 9, but they didnt' open until 9:30. Anyway, by 11 am the place was crazy! we got out of there right before noon and went back to our resort to chill out. It was way too much for our gang. Very crowded.

This is just our eperience, so others might have a different take. there were masses of people everywhere we went and because people were looking at the decorations, waiting for parades/fireworks, etc. the crowds seemed to move very slowly. MK was crazy on Wishes nights. We strategized and watched Wishes from the ferry dock, then took the ferry over to MK to catch the 2nd showing of the Electric Light Parade at 11 pm. This was a wise move as most of the people had left at that point. MK was open until 1 am and most rides were just walk on.

People lined up for the holiday Iluminations 1.5 hours before it started. No kidding. CP line was slim the night we went, but it was so cold out that we figured people stayed at their hotel that night. HS's was the least crowded of all and Fantasmic was not full and Osborne Lights were also uncrowded.

MY 19 YO with Autism uses a travel chair and I swear that is the only reason he didn't have a meltdown (other than the discussion about MVMCP). He feels secure and safe while riding in it but has the ability to get out and walk around when he wants to.

 

[persimmondeb]

DS is high functioning enough that "this isn't in our budget this time" or "it's too crowded here right now, we're going to go to X and come back when it's less crowded" make sense to him. I won't say we've never had an unpredictable meltdown, but he's not terribly prone to them.

He doesn't love crowds though, and his favorite things being crowded with very small children can be a little sad for him. He particularly has a love affair with that sand pit at T-Rex, and since it's kind of cramped, if it's crowded, the 200 lb kid should stay out. He's responsible about it, but he will gaze at it with longing. He mostly functions older than that, but apparently the combination of sand and fake dinosaur fossils is irresistible. Usually, I'd manage by hitting it very late at night, when the pre-schoolers have conked out and it's DS and three eight-year-olds in there, but if it's that crowded, I'm afraid it won't ever clear out.

Unfortunately, I don't think anything except that week is likely for us, and we do all like the idea of going at Christmas time. Also if we make up our minds now, I can make reservations at the 180-day-mark, which would probably be advisable since someone likes to breakfast with Pooh. I am kind of wondering if I should start a thread, too, instead of hijacking IrelandNicoles (sorry).

 

[ireland_nicole]

Don't worry- I've been neglecting it anyway- Im still trying to catch up! I really appreciate everyone's support- at least I've been Enjoying the pictures and dd keeps talking about how great it was- so I'm trying to focus on the positive

 

[CamoMama]

Reading posts from other parents of kids on the spectrum always makes me feel slightly less crazy. I realize that I'm not the only mother in the world dealing with this stuff and when I'm at the end of my rope and lose my cool for a minute, I'm not the first to nor will I be the last. Thanks for that.

My Aspie daughter is 16 now, we're going on a 10 day vacation in February, 8 days in the parks. We didn't plan well on our last Disneyland trip and went in July, but lucked out with unseasonably small crowds and mild weather. As it was she was still pretty done by the 5th day, mostly because there were 5 of us in our suite and she didn't really have any ability to walk away and have alone time. This time it's just going to be the 3 of us and we're not going to rush at all, just relax and do only what we want.

I'm a little concerned, because I just got home from deployment and found out that she stopped taking her meds two months ago. She has only had one meltdown since, though and that was the day after I got home, which was actually pretty understandable, everyone was very emotional. She seems to be doing well without the meds, and has lost 20lbs, which made her extremely happy. Whoever thought it was a good idea to put kids on drugs that make them gain a lot of weight when they already have minor hormonal imbalances? Anyway, rambling done.

 

[indimom]

DS is high functioning enough that "this isn't in our budget this time" or "it's too crowded here right now, we're going to go to X and come back when it's less crowded" make sense to him. I won't say we've never had an unpredictable meltdown, but he's not terribly prone to them.

He doesn't love crowds though, and his favorite things being crowded with very small children can be a little sad for him. He particularly has a love affair with that sand pit at T-Rex, and since it's kind of cramped, if it's crowded, the 200 lb kid should stay out. He's responsible about it, but he will gaze at it with longing. He mostly functions older than that, but apparently the combination of sand and fake dinosaur fossils is irresistible. Usually, I'd manage by hitting it very late at night, when the pre-schoolers have conked out and it's DS and three eight-year-olds in there, but if it's that crowded, I'm afraid it won't ever clear out.

Unfortunately, I don't think anything except that week is likely for us, and we do all like the idea of going at Christmas time. Also if we make up our minds now, I can make reservations at the 180-day-mark, which would probably be advisable since someone likes to breakfast with Pooh. I am kind of wondering if I should start a thread, too, instead of hijacking IrelandNicoles (sorry).

EDIT: Oops, I thought you were talking about the sandbox at AK and gave you wrong info (that we found it empty at park opening). Duh.
Good Luck with your planning and have a wonderful trip.

 

[persimmondeb]

Thanks! It's not like he hates the one in AK, but for some reason the one at T-Rex is better. I think he's more distracted in AK, and he may also feel that since we've paid big money for the tickets, he shouldn't waste his park time playing in the sand.