Julie's continual struggle (WW thread - comments VERY welcome!!)
- Thread starter goldcupmom
- Start date
toystoryduo
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2003
- Messages
- 10,635
Julie,I hope that this is a much better week for your family! Prayers and
are on the way!Take care!
/
goldcupmom
<font color=black>BL6 Black Team Co-captain<br> <f
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2004
- Messages
- 4,596
Be forewarned that I'm in a very reflective mood. Suffice it to say that today I feel OLD, I'm overtired, overstressed, off plan and depressed. Feel free to skip this post..... I just need to reflect. I WILL get back on plan, just not even going to try until Monday.
So, where do I begin. Up until Monday I was still OP, but making horrid food choices from stress. Monday began the marathon driving week that hasn't stopped.
With DS16's cycle being in the shop(and no, insurance won't cover), not being able to let him get his license as DS19 is being a !@)#(&%, and I can't afford the insurance for another teen male, I have to chauffer. So my entire week was: up at 5:30, fix DH lunch, do dogs, call the !@#$^ Cable net company and file my morning complaint, get DD up (grouchy), get DS16 up, fix his muscle milk, get breakfast, drive DS16 to gym (30+ min each way), come home, try to get something done for about 2.5 hours, make some lunch for DS16, go get him, take him to work, come back home, dinner, then back to pick him up after work. This monday(or maybe longer if cycle isn't ready) will be the same. In the interim I had to fit in 2 Dr. appts with DD (she is STILL sick, rapid strep was positive, longer negative. They don't know what it is.....Is this a replay of last summer?? - we came home from FL and she was sick, in bed, for 7+ weeks before they took her appendix out. At least we know it's not that!) Trips to DS19s apartment to give him info, track down IF there is really a warrant out for his arrest (that story will follow), try to start Ebay for fall (still working on that), try to get my house organized (as DH job is looking worse - more later..), Deal with umpteen visits from Cable net repair guys..... and the list goes on...... I've fallen in bed about midnight every night only to get up and do it again.
Exhausted, stressed, and today depressed as it is bound to be my typical birthday, only today I'm OLD!!!! Well, 45 probably isn't really considered old, but ...... Let's just say I think I'm the matriarch of WISH and most everywhere I 'visit'. At about 9 last night DH says "So, I guess tomorrow's your birthday. What do you want to do? I guess I'll have to go try to buy something, huh?" So, like Christmas, anniversary, etc., he will MAYBE remember and think of something on the day of, and then complain about having to do it. No one else will likely remember. Such is life.
I lost my willpower on Monday and have eaten way too much, horrid foods(stuff I wouldn't even have eaten in my pre WW days) and don't really care at this moment. TOM finally arrived and shows no signs of moving on.....Gotta love midlife...... NOT. I haven't been good on water as SOMETHING in my fridge has my water & ice tasting GROSS and I've cleaned it out and can't find anything. Everytime I put bottled water in for ME (with my name on it) it has disappeared and in the upper 90s out, I don't want warm water.
With the driving schedule, I didn't make WW this week, either, so no DisWish, no WW, stress and I am a GONER. I hate to think of stepping on the scale and seeing what damage has been done. I will eventually 'undo' it, but it is never easy.
The reorg of DH work has begun. They sequestered all the HR people & upper management from all over the world, together, SOMEWHERE all week(where they have been is hush hush). From there they began posting jobs. The job DH was told they wanted him in, from the way it is written, he doesn't even qualify. I have read some of the recs and they are poorly written, cut & paste jobs - they don't even make good grammatical sense, let alone technical. They are going to be filling jobs until the last of Sept. On Oct 1, they will notify those "left standing" and lay offs will start Nov 1. Just in time for the Holidays, how lovely. There is absolutely NO CLUE if anyone will have a job or not. DD has already told her friends we will likely move. DH track record is that at about 4 years he gets unhappy in a job and decides to move on - are ALL engineers like this????? So, if the reorg doesn't go the way he thinks it should, she & I feel we are doomed. Not that we're attached to NM, just tired of moving and not putting down real roots. In 13 years, she's lived in 4 states. She & I joked last spring that I started hanging things on walls, finally after 4 years here, and that is a sure sign we will end up moving. In 23 years of marriage, EVERY time I get a house started on how I want it and hang things, we move.
DS19 and I had a long talk the other night. Not about much, but at least he was civil and talking That is an improvement. He was still worried that there is a warrant out about the dumb !@#$% girl who said she put a restraining order on him, then keeps coming around, even to the point that she was in my house, all night, sleeping on the couch next to him, when he had his wisdom teeth out, and she came over after we had gone to bed and I didn't find out til I took him medicine at 6 a.m. and there she was. Anyway, she really did file ( but told him she 'didn't mean to' and they wouldn't let her take it back) But, there is no proof of service for the court date (which he missed as he didn't know about) The court is supposed to issue a bench warrant if you don't appear, but since there is no proof, they can't. So, I need to now get DS19 to go down with me and sign an affidavit about her violating her own restraining order (good until 7/6/07) and he has to file a counter order in order to get it taken from his file. And, she keeps coming to his Apt. She appeared at DS16 work (her dad works there) and was 'tattling' on DS19 to DS16 - telling lies about him that I KNOW aren't true (said he was in Phoenix again - and he was with me sitting talking, etc)
So, as you can see, my life is fairly normal for me. On a positive note, DSis has only 1 chemo left, then a month off before radiation every day for 6 weeks. I want to try to do something special for her "end of chemo" party, but being cross country, I can't think of anything. Ideas????
I really want to get a male Yorkie so I can breed Mia(and I've found one I love), but DH is totally against it. I may have to anyway, as she needs a playmate. I told him that is what he could get me for my bday and he went ballistic.
DS16 still isn't done with school....there has been no time this last week.... and we are really pushing the deadlines. I made him take off today so it will be a school marathon weekend. The Cyber school has let no one know if they are accepted, and haven't even set an opening date yet, so I can't begin to plan.
Registration for DD isa mess. Had to go Thurs to '3 stations' - took about .5 hours. Then Monday we go to the other '3 stations' and she will be registered. Monday they estimate will take 2 hours, and I have to go at a specific time. Unfortunately, it is when I need to be leaving to pick DS16 up and take him to work. Will be interesting. How fast can they clone me????
So, I'm back, sort of, and will START OVER, AGAIN, on Monday.
I have REALLY REALLY missed you guys and have REALLY REALLY needed you all!
Have a great weekend!
So, where do I begin. Up until Monday I was still OP, but making horrid food choices from stress. Monday began the marathon driving week that hasn't stopped.
With DS16's cycle being in the shop(and no, insurance won't cover), not being able to let him get his license as DS19 is being a !@)#(&%, and I can't afford the insurance for another teen male, I have to chauffer. So my entire week was: up at 5:30, fix DH lunch, do dogs, call the !@#$^ Cable net company and file my morning complaint, get DD up (grouchy), get DS16 up, fix his muscle milk, get breakfast, drive DS16 to gym (30+ min each way), come home, try to get something done for about 2.5 hours, make some lunch for DS16, go get him, take him to work, come back home, dinner, then back to pick him up after work. This monday(or maybe longer if cycle isn't ready) will be the same. In the interim I had to fit in 2 Dr. appts with DD (she is STILL sick, rapid strep was positive, longer negative. They don't know what it is.....Is this a replay of last summer?? - we came home from FL and she was sick, in bed, for 7+ weeks before they took her appendix out. At least we know it's not that!) Trips to DS19s apartment to give him info, track down IF there is really a warrant out for his arrest (that story will follow), try to start Ebay for fall (still working on that), try to get my house organized (as DH job is looking worse - more later..), Deal with umpteen visits from Cable net repair guys..... and the list goes on...... I've fallen in bed about midnight every night only to get up and do it again.
Exhausted, stressed, and today depressed as it is bound to be my typical birthday, only today I'm OLD!!!! Well, 45 probably isn't really considered old, but ...... Let's just say I think I'm the matriarch of WISH and most everywhere I 'visit'. At about 9 last night DH says "So, I guess tomorrow's your birthday. What do you want to do? I guess I'll have to go try to buy something, huh?" So, like Christmas, anniversary, etc., he will MAYBE remember and think of something on the day of, and then complain about having to do it. No one else will likely remember. Such is life.
I lost my willpower on Monday and have eaten way too much, horrid foods(stuff I wouldn't even have eaten in my pre WW days) and don't really care at this moment. TOM finally arrived and shows no signs of moving on.....Gotta love midlife...... NOT. I haven't been good on water as SOMETHING in my fridge has my water & ice tasting GROSS and I've cleaned it out and can't find anything. Everytime I put bottled water in for ME (with my name on it) it has disappeared and in the upper 90s out, I don't want warm water.
With the driving schedule, I didn't make WW this week, either, so no DisWish, no WW, stress and I am a GONER. I hate to think of stepping on the scale and seeing what damage has been done. I will eventually 'undo' it, but it is never easy.
The reorg of DH work has begun. They sequestered all the HR people & upper management from all over the world, together, SOMEWHERE all week(where they have been is hush hush). From there they began posting jobs. The job DH was told they wanted him in, from the way it is written, he doesn't even qualify. I have read some of the recs and they are poorly written, cut & paste jobs - they don't even make good grammatical sense, let alone technical. They are going to be filling jobs until the last of Sept. On Oct 1, they will notify those "left standing" and lay offs will start Nov 1. Just in time for the Holidays, how lovely. There is absolutely NO CLUE if anyone will have a job or not. DD has already told her friends we will likely move. DH track record is that at about 4 years he gets unhappy in a job and decides to move on - are ALL engineers like this????? So, if the reorg doesn't go the way he thinks it should, she & I feel we are doomed. Not that we're attached to NM, just tired of moving and not putting down real roots. In 13 years, she's lived in 4 states. She & I joked last spring that I started hanging things on walls, finally after 4 years here, and that is a sure sign we will end up moving. In 23 years of marriage, EVERY time I get a house started on how I want it and hang things, we move.
DS19 and I had a long talk the other night. Not about much, but at least he was civil and talking That is an improvement. He was still worried that there is a warrant out about the dumb !@#$% girl who said she put a restraining order on him, then keeps coming around, even to the point that she was in my house, all night, sleeping on the couch next to him, when he had his wisdom teeth out, and she came over after we had gone to bed and I didn't find out til I took him medicine at 6 a.m. and there she was. Anyway, she really did file ( but told him she 'didn't mean to' and they wouldn't let her take it back) But, there is no proof of service for the court date (which he missed as he didn't know about) The court is supposed to issue a bench warrant if you don't appear, but since there is no proof, they can't. So, I need to now get DS19 to go down with me and sign an affidavit about her violating her own restraining order (good until 7/6/07) and he has to file a counter order in order to get it taken from his file. And, she keeps coming to his Apt. She appeared at DS16 work (her dad works there) and was 'tattling' on DS19 to DS16 - telling lies about him that I KNOW aren't true (said he was in Phoenix again - and he was with me sitting talking, etc)
So, as you can see, my life is fairly normal for me. On a positive note, DSis has only 1 chemo left, then a month off before radiation every day for 6 weeks. I want to try to do something special for her "end of chemo" party, but being cross country, I can't think of anything. Ideas????
I really want to get a male Yorkie so I can breed Mia(and I've found one I love), but DH is totally against it. I may have to anyway, as she needs a playmate. I told him that is what he could get me for my bday and he went ballistic.
DS16 still isn't done with school....there has been no time this last week.... and we are really pushing the deadlines. I made him take off today so it will be a school marathon weekend. The Cyber school has let no one know if they are accepted, and haven't even set an opening date yet, so I can't begin to plan.
Registration for DD isa mess. Had to go Thurs to '3 stations' - took about .5 hours. Then Monday we go to the other '3 stations' and she will be registered. Monday they estimate will take 2 hours, and I have to go at a specific time. Unfortunately, it is when I need to be leaving to pick DS16 up and take him to work. Will be interesting. How fast can they clone me????
So, I'm back, sort of, and will START OVER, AGAIN, on Monday.
I have REALLY REALLY missed you guys and have REALLY REALLY needed you all!
Have a great weekend!
pearlieq
<font color=green>They can sit & spin<br><font col
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2004
- Messages
- 8,734
Oh dear...I can't even begin to figure out what to say except that I'm sorry you've been going through all of this and that we're here for you.
Sending big
and your way.
Just hang on--you are a strong woman and you WILL get through this.
And, of course,
Sending big
and your way.Just hang on--you are a strong woman and you WILL get through this.
And, of course,
Mykelogan
Long time, no see!
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2005
- Messages
- 2,183
Oh my goodness Julie!!!
You certainly have been carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders this past week. I am so proud of you though because in the face of all of that stress you came back here and posted, you know you've had some off track time and instead of giving up on yourself you are committing to getting back into the fight. That just proves to me again how strong you are!! I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts & prayers this weekend. We're all here for you and sending you the best vibes possible!
If you do run into any problems cloning yourself, I could always send over an army of dancing Maleficents!! hehe! They may not always get the jobs done but they will certainly create some distracting mischief!
Oh, and before I forget...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
:thewave: :thewave:
Come back to us when you can!
Mike
You certainly have been carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders this past week. I am so proud of you though because in the face of all of that stress you came back here and posted, you know you've had some off track time and instead of giving up on yourself you are committing to getting back into the fight. That just proves to me again how strong you are!! I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts & prayers this weekend. We're all here for you and sending you the best vibes possible!
If you do run into any problems cloning yourself, I could always send over an army of dancing Maleficents!! hehe! They may not always get the jobs done but they will certainly create some distracting mischief!
Oh, and before I forget...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
:thewave: :thewave: Come back to us when you can!
Mike
lillygator
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2003
- Messages
- 32,741
Hi Julie, what a crazy week you had...I hope you get a free moment this weekend to sit and destress yourself and relax just a tad....you definitely earned it!
Hey Julie, glad to see you are back. Don't worry about being off plan for now, you have had a lot of things thrown at you in one fell swoop and that is bound to knock some things off. You will get back on track, I just know it.
I hope for your sake that your DH's job will remain in tact.
As for something special for your sister. Maybe you could order her a bouquet of balloons to be sent to her house. You could have it attached to a small gift basket with some various goodies.
Hang in there and remember, we are always here to lend an ear.
I hope for your sake that your DH's job will remain in tact.
As for something special for your sister. Maybe you could order her a bouquet of balloons to be sent to her house. You could have it attached to a small gift basket with some various goodies.
Hang in there and remember, we are always here to lend an ear.
Julie - I'm so sorry to hear about everything that has been going on. I agree with the others - glad you are back and checked in, even if you didn't really feel like it due to what you've eaten. Right now, that doesn't matter - what matters is that we are here if you need to vent and you are taking care of things with your family - that is more important!!!!!
Hang in there and we are here for you!
Keep on
Chris
Hang in there and we are here for you!
Keep on
Chris
goldcupmom
<font color=black>BL6 Black Team Co-captain<br> <f
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2004
- Messages
- 4,596
I think I'm back online semi-permanently. It looks like they FINALLY figured out the problem, or series of things contributing to the problem - mainly poorly wired old connectors.
Yesterday I was FINALLY back OP - I MUST get back on track and DO THIS!!!! I'm really struggling with water intake and I'm not sure why. I LIKE water & it is plenty hot here. Exercise just isn't happening. I'm too tired to do it in the morning when it is cooler in here (and I'm talking low 80s is as good as it gets) and by mid/late morning, we're pushing 90 or higher even with the swamp cooler on. Those are my downfalls. I tried walking outside, but even tho it seemed cool when I left, before I got home 30 min later it was HOT - I guess it's a combination of the sun & the altitude (I'm higher than Denver)
I'm not back to square one, but I'm sure I've gained. I also am not sure I'll be making it to WW as DD has a dentist appt Thurs morning that has been scheduled for 6 mo. It would have fit with my old WW meeting, but the cancelled that one.
So.... yesterday:
Coffee & revival bar (5), 4 lt bread w/ turkey, mustard (4) no pudge ice cream (2) 2 pt granola bar (2) ww dinner (6) granola bar (3)
We finally submitted DS16's english journal - just over an hour before the deadline. It is HUGE and everytime we had tried to submit, the cable would go down, it wouldn't go thru, we'd have to call the school to get them to 'unlock' so he could resubmit it (you can only submit things once). Now we are on the Algebra 2 marathon. Fun Fun Fun.
So far I've taken over 350 ebay pics for fall & winter and my Living Room is still a MESS of clothing. That is my goal today to get the rest of what is up here done and put in containers ready to list.
DH job is no better. Yesterday they announced that they aren't going to wait as long as they planned for lay offs, they will be in Aug & Sept, not Oct. And, there will be double what they originally planned. Today the first batch of job postings expires and they start interviewing. Needless to say DH is a bit concerned. Time will tell.
We just got the cycle back yesterday afternoon. Since Sat the 23 when it happened, I put over 500 miles on my car chauffering kids. OUCH!!!! No wonder I've felt like I've been living in it!
Breakfast will be Kashi & yogurt, not sure about the rest of the day. I'm doing the fencing run tonight as it is at 4. Hopefully it won't be a late night. I've only had about 5 hours sleep the last 3 nights and I'm TIRED!!!!!
More later.... I'll try to catch up on journals by the weekend.
MUST KEEP SWIMMING!!!!!! DORY, HELP!!! I'm DROWNING!!!!!
Yesterday I was FINALLY back OP - I MUST get back on track and DO THIS!!!! I'm really struggling with water intake and I'm not sure why. I LIKE water & it is plenty hot here. Exercise just isn't happening. I'm too tired to do it in the morning when it is cooler in here (and I'm talking low 80s is as good as it gets) and by mid/late morning, we're pushing 90 or higher even with the swamp cooler on. Those are my downfalls. I tried walking outside, but even tho it seemed cool when I left, before I got home 30 min later it was HOT - I guess it's a combination of the sun & the altitude (I'm higher than Denver)
I'm not back to square one, but I'm sure I've gained. I also am not sure I'll be making it to WW as DD has a dentist appt Thurs morning that has been scheduled for 6 mo. It would have fit with my old WW meeting, but the cancelled that one.
So.... yesterday:
Coffee & revival bar (5), 4 lt bread w/ turkey, mustard (4) no pudge ice cream (2) 2 pt granola bar (2) ww dinner (6) granola bar (3)
We finally submitted DS16's english journal - just over an hour before the deadline. It is HUGE and everytime we had tried to submit, the cable would go down, it wouldn't go thru, we'd have to call the school to get them to 'unlock' so he could resubmit it (you can only submit things once). Now we are on the Algebra 2 marathon. Fun Fun Fun.
So far I've taken over 350 ebay pics for fall & winter and my Living Room is still a MESS of clothing. That is my goal today to get the rest of what is up here done and put in containers ready to list.
DH job is no better. Yesterday they announced that they aren't going to wait as long as they planned for lay offs, they will be in Aug & Sept, not Oct. And, there will be double what they originally planned. Today the first batch of job postings expires and they start interviewing. Needless to say DH is a bit concerned. Time will tell.
We just got the cycle back yesterday afternoon. Since Sat the 23 when it happened, I put over 500 miles on my car chauffering kids. OUCH!!!! No wonder I've felt like I've been living in it!
Breakfast will be Kashi & yogurt, not sure about the rest of the day. I'm doing the fencing run tonight as it is at 4. Hopefully it won't be a late night. I've only had about 5 hours sleep the last 3 nights and I'm TIRED!!!!!
More later.... I'll try to catch up on journals by the weekend.
MUST KEEP SWIMMING!!!!!! DORY, HELP!!! I'm DROWNING!!!!!
Here Julie, 
, jump in before you drown. Anything to help keep you floating until you can swim again. 
Glad to hear that the transportation crisis will ease up for you. Still keeping my fingers crossed for your DH's job.
I am willing to bet that your water intake is bad due to the fact that you are so busy and not really taking the time for water. At least that happens to me. I love water and can drink it anytime, but when I get really busy, I don't stop periodically enough to get one drink, let alone the entire day's worth.
Hope today is a little less hectic for you. Have a great day!
, jump in before you drown. Anything to help keep you floating until you can swim again. Glad to hear that the transportation crisis will ease up for you. Still keeping my fingers crossed for your DH's job.
I am willing to bet that your water intake is bad due to the fact that you are so busy and not really taking the time for water. At least that happens to me. I love water and can drink it anytime, but when I get really busy, I don't stop periodically enough to get one drink, let alone the entire day's worth.
Hope today is a little less hectic for you. Have a great day!
crusin'minnie
Mouseketeer
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2000
- Messages
- 383
I have a suggestion for the water. I make a list of toasts when I want to make sure I drink all my water. I may drink to an upcoming trip, a special event, to being as thin as my friends, to burning my hated polyester pants, etc..
I just make my toast mentally and drink away. It really does help me.
Good Luck.
Cindy
I just make my toast mentally and drink away. It really does help me.
Good Luck.
Cindy
Mykelogan
Long time, no see!
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2005
- Messages
- 2,183
Hi Julie!!!
No drowning allowed in the WISH pool! Our resident Dory would not allow it!!
Glad to see you posting. Wow you have gotten so much done lately, I hope you get some down time soon to catch your breath! hehe!!
I hope that you had a great day and stayed cool in the heat!
Mike
No drowning allowed in the WISH pool! Our resident Dory would not allow it!!
Glad to see you posting. Wow you have gotten so much done lately, I hope you get some down time soon to catch your breath! hehe!!
I hope that you had a great day and stayed cool in the heat!
Mike
goldcupmom
<font color=black>BL6 Black Team Co-captain<br> <f
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2004
- Messages
- 4,596
Yesterday was a bit better for water. I made my 64 oz, but barely. Being home helps.
Did not do the fencing run as DD is still fighting the strep. I wasn't too disappointed. DH will do tonight's run.
Lunch was a roll up (4) & baked lays (2) Dinner was lemon pepper chicken, potatoes and broccoli/cauliflower w/ ff chz (9) I had 2 WW chocolates later to finish out my points.
Today I will try to do my normal liquid day. Not sure how it will go.
DH says that MAYBE he will know if he will have a job or not by the end of this week. Next week he is in PHX from T - F, so won't be around to apply or interview. Not sure if that is good or bad.
Off to try to get something done around here. Someday I'll have a clean house!
More later.... Tonight I WILL catch up on at least a few journals!!
Did not do the fencing run as DD is still fighting the strep. I wasn't too disappointed. DH will do tonight's run.
Lunch was a roll up (4) & baked lays (2) Dinner was lemon pepper chicken, potatoes and broccoli/cauliflower w/ ff chz (9) I had 2 WW chocolates later to finish out my points.
Today I will try to do my normal liquid day. Not sure how it will go.
DH says that MAYBE he will know if he will have a job or not by the end of this week. Next week he is in PHX from T - F, so won't be around to apply or interview. Not sure if that is good or bad.
Off to try to get something done around here. Someday I'll have a clean house!
More later.... Tonight I WILL catch up on at least a few journals!!
I sure do hope that your DD gets better soon. Strep is no fun.
Sounds like things are calming down a bit even if they are still stressful. At least maybe you can find a little time for yourself and get some real sleep.
Keep up the great work!
Sounds like things are calming down a bit even if they are still stressful. At least maybe you can find a little time for yourself and get some real sleep.
Keep up the great work!
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