Be forewarned that I'm in a very reflective mood. Suffice it to say that today I feel OLD, I'm overtired, overstressed, off plan and depressed. Feel free to skip this post..... I just need to reflect. I WILL get back on plan, just not even going to try until Monday.
So, where do I begin. Up until Monday I was still OP, but making horrid food choices from stress. Monday began the marathon driving week that hasn't stopped.
With DS16's cycle being in the shop(and no, insurance won't cover), not being able to let him get his license as DS19 is being a !@)#(&%, and I can't afford the insurance for another teen male, I have to chauffer. So my entire week was: up at 5:30, fix DH lunch, do dogs, call the !@#$^ Cable net company and file my morning complaint, get DD up (grouchy), get DS16 up, fix his muscle milk, get breakfast, drive DS16 to gym (30+ min each way), come home, try to get something done for about 2.5 hours, make some lunch for DS16, go get him, take him to work, come back home, dinner, then back to pick him up after work. This monday(or maybe longer if cycle isn't ready) will be the same. In the interim I had to fit in 2 Dr. appts with DD (she is STILL sick, rapid strep was positive, longer negative. They don't know what it is.....Is this a replay of last summer?? - we came home from FL and she was sick, in bed, for 7+ weeks before they took her appendix out. At least we know it's not that!) Trips to DS19s apartment to give him info, track down IF there is really a warrant out for his arrest (that story will follow), try to start Ebay for fall (still working on that), try to get my house organized (as DH job is looking worse - more later..), Deal with umpteen visits from Cable net repair guys..... and the list goes on...... I've fallen in bed about midnight every night only to get up and do it again.
Exhausted, stressed, and today depressed as it is bound to be my typical birthday, only today I'm OLD!!!! Well, 45 probably isn't really considered old, but ...... Let's just say I think I'm the matriarch of WISH and most everywhere I 'visit'. At about 9 last night DH says "So, I guess tomorrow's your birthday. What do you want to do? I guess I'll have to go try to buy something, huh?" So, like Christmas, anniversary, etc., he will MAYBE remember and think of something on the day of, and then complain about having to do it. No one else will likely remember. Such is life.
I lost my willpower on Monday and have eaten way too much, horrid foods(stuff I wouldn't even have eaten in my pre WW days) and don't really care at this moment. TOM finally arrived and shows no signs of moving on.....Gotta love midlife...... NOT. I haven't been good on water as SOMETHING in my fridge has my water & ice tasting GROSS and I've cleaned it out and can't find anything. Everytime I put bottled water in for ME (with my name on it) it has disappeared and in the upper 90s out, I don't want warm water.
With the driving schedule, I didn't make WW this week, either, so no DisWish, no WW, stress and I am a GONER. I hate to think of stepping on the scale and seeing what damage has been done. I will eventually 'undo' it, but it is never easy.
The reorg of DH work has begun. They sequestered all the HR people & upper management from all over the world, together, SOMEWHERE all week(where they have been is hush hush). From there they began posting jobs. The job DH was told they wanted him in, from the way it is written, he doesn't even qualify. I have read some of the recs and they are poorly written, cut & paste jobs - they don't even make good grammatical sense, let alone technical. They are going to be filling jobs until the last of Sept. On Oct 1, they will notify those "left standing" and lay offs will start Nov 1. Just in time for the Holidays, how lovely. There is absolutely NO CLUE if anyone will have a job or not. DD has already told her friends we will likely move. DH track record is that at about 4 years he gets unhappy in a job and decides to move on - are ALL engineers like this????? So, if the reorg doesn't go the way he thinks it should, she & I feel we are doomed. Not that we're attached to NM, just tired of moving and not putting down real roots. In 13 years, she's lived in 4 states. She & I joked last spring that I started hanging things on walls, finally after 4 years here, and that is a sure sign we will end up moving. In 23 years of marriage, EVERY time I get a house started on how I want it and hang things, we move.
DS19 and I had a long talk the other night. Not about much, but at least he was civil and talking That is an improvement. He was still worried that there is a warrant out about the dumb !@#$% girl who said she put a restraining order on him, then keeps coming around, even to the point that she was in my house, all night, sleeping on the couch next to him, when he had his wisdom teeth out, and she came over after we had gone to bed and I didn't find out til I took him medicine at 6 a.m. and there she was. Anyway, she really did file ( but told him she 'didn't mean to' and they wouldn't let her take it back) But, there is no proof of service for the court date (which he missed as he didn't know about) The court is supposed to issue a bench warrant if you don't appear, but since there is no proof, they can't. So, I need to now get DS19 to go down with me and sign an affidavit about her violating her own restraining order (good until 7/6/07) and he has to file a counter order in order to get it taken from his file. And, she keeps coming to his Apt. She appeared at DS16 work (her dad works there) and was 'tattling' on DS19 to DS16 - telling lies about him that I KNOW aren't true (said he was in Phoenix again - and he was with me sitting talking, etc)
So, as you can see, my life is fairly normal for me. On a positive note, DSis has only 1 chemo left, then a month off before radiation every day for 6 weeks. I want to try to do something special for her "end of chemo" party, but being cross country, I can't think of anything. Ideas????
I really want to get a male Yorkie so I can breed Mia(and I've found one I love), but DH is totally against it. I may have to anyway, as she needs a playmate. I told him that is what he could get me for my bday and he went ballistic.
DS16 still isn't done with school....there has been no time this last week.... and we are really pushing the deadlines. I made him take off today so it will be a school marathon weekend. The Cyber school has let no one know if they are accepted, and haven't even set an opening date yet, so I can't begin to plan.
Registration for DD isa mess. Had to go Thurs to '3 stations' - took about .5 hours. Then Monday we go to the other '3 stations' and she will be registered. Monday they estimate will take 2 hours, and I have to go at a specific time. Unfortunately, it is when I need to be leaving to pick DS16 up and take him to work. Will be interesting. How fast can they clone me????
So, I'm back, sort of, and will START OVER, AGAIN, on Monday.
I have REALLY REALLY missed you guys and have REALLY REALLY needed you all!
Have a great weekend!