Jokes needed for a Master of Ceremony

[JanetRose]

We are having a social for college students.

The master of ceremony wanted to say something funny about one of the students. This student has a very pretty wife and other students are always surprised when they meet her and that they are married. We need something funny besides the old joke, ‘yes, that is Jacob’s wife and she’s not his cousin’. Can anyone help?

Also, we need something to say to a student who eats a lot for such a little guy. A buffet will be set up at the social.

Thanks!