Job issues- Budget related.

[KennedyMcKenna]

I have a dilemma. This is long winded so I apologize in advance.

I am young (26) and was hired in to a small company about three months ago. The original position was simply an employee of this small company. (We sell foreign language materials to libraries and schools). The office is very unique, there are people of all ages backgrounds and races however I am by far the youngest by at least six to eight years. Anyway, because I have been doing so well and really stood out as a go getter and have been able to make a lot of big sales, I have been offered the title of assistant manager. This is a huge deal and includes a pay raise. Not much, but enough to help our budget at home out. Here's the problem. As a beginning step into the position I have been given extra duties some that involve assigning people work, and asking them (politely) why certain projects aren't finished. Already I have been met with a lot of apprehension and hostility and today had someone come up to me and tell me in an honest way that others were upset about this promotion and were talking poorly of me. This is my first foray into upper management and at my age is really going to be a great thing for my family and myself. But is it worth it? Is the few more dollars an hour worth people hating me? Am I being overly sensitive?

ETA: I forgot to say, I am a young woman and the first female manager here at the company.

Is this worth the raise or not?

 

[Ginny Favers]

I was a young manager. This is the price of success. Part of being a professional is learning to "take it" if the people under you don't like you or talk behind your back. I've worked at all kinds of companies, and it doesn't matter how nice you are... if you're a boss, they're going to do it. So don't bother trying to get them to like you. Part of graduating into management is learning (sometimes the hard way), that you are not and can not be friends with them...so don't eat lunch with them, don't share too much of your private life, and above all, always remember that it's business, not a popularity contest. You are there for the good of the company, not to make buddies.

 

[Zhoen]

It is hard moving into your first management position. You go from being "one of the guys" to "big brother," even if you're NOT any different. But as for whether or not it's worth the money, only you can decide that.

Consider this, is it worth giving up the money to appease the people who are talking behind your back? Anybody who would do that is not going to suddenly think you're fantastic if you turn the job down and stay in the body pool like them...

Consider how much you can grow as a person by taking this opportunity and letting your skin get thickened. (Where I work, we call this "opportunities to grow", and it always means it's going to suck.)

It will be hard for your co-workers to answer to somebody younger than them-- it tweaks their pride. But their pride is THEIR problem, not yours. You can make situation better by being the best manager you can be. Don't be that guy who forgets what it was like, and don't be a tool. When you're asking why something isn't done yet, ask what help they need to get un-stuck. If they still are hostile, let it go. While they are at work, you can dictate how they spend their time, but you will never be able (nor should you be) to tell them how to feel.


If the job feels like a bad fit for you, and you don't want to "grow" in that direction, then don't. Otherwise, don't let a bunch of coworkers you won't even know five years from now hold you back. There's only one promotion, why shouldn't you be the one to have it? Don't age discriminate, especially not against yourself!

 

[kmb584]

As someone in a very similar position, I say: absolutely.

I too am young (28) and am an RN. When I started working for my current employer I was a floor nurse, a position I wanted, but within a month found myself as a Registered Nurse Supervisor and managing the entire 2nd floor staff. By working the floor I had built a good report with fellow co-workers but still met with challenges when I was now the one responsible for disciplinary action and things of the like. I stuck by the position though and love it. Your co-workers, especially those who have been there longer, need time to adapt to this new change and your promotion, but give it time. You might find that you're where you're meant to be!

 

[ilovemk76]

I have a dilemma. This is long winded so I apologize in advance.

I am young (26) and was hired in to a small company about three months ago. The original position was simply an employee of this small company. (We sell foreign language materials to libraries and schools). The office is very unique, there are people of all ages backgrounds and races however I am by far the youngest by at least six to eight years. Anyway, because I have been doing so well and really stood out as a go getter and have been able to make a lot of big sales, I have been offered the title of assistant manager. This is a huge deal and includes a pay raise. Not much, but enough to help our budget at home out. Here's the problem. As a beginning step into the position I have been given extra duties some that involve assigning people work, and asking them (politely) why certain projects aren't finished. Already I have been met with a lot of apprehension and hostility and today had someone come up to me and tell me in an honest way that others were upset about this promotion and were talking poorly of me. This is my first foray into upper management and at my age is really going to be a great thing for my family and myself. But is it worth it? Is the few more dollars an hour worth people hating me? Am I being overly sensitive?

Is this worth the raise or not?

The first thing they tell you when you enter management is that your coworkers will talk about you.

 

[KennedyMcKenna]

I was a young manager. This is the price of success. Part of being a professional is learning to "take it" if the people under you don't like you or talk behind your back. I've worked at all kinds of companies, and it doesn't matter how nice you are... if you're a boss, they're going to do it. So don't bother trying to get them to like you. Part of graduating into management is learning (sometimes the hard way), that you are not and can not be friends with them...so don't eat lunch with them, don't share too much of your private life, and above all, always remember that it's business, not a popularity contest. You are there for the good of the company, not to make buddies.

Thank you, I know I'm being too soft in letting this get to me. People are going to be mean to whomever the see as a boss, no matter who they are or what they look like. I just have to accept that and be a big girl!

 

[KennedyMcKenna]

It is hard moving into your first management position. You go from being "one of the guys" to "big brother," even if you're NOT any different. But as for whether or not it's worth the money, only you can decide that.

Consider this, is it worth giving up the money to appease the people who are talking behind your back? Anybody who would do that is not going to suddenly think you're fantastic if you turn the job down and stay in the body pool like them...

Consider how much you can grow as a person by taking this opportunity and letting your skin get thickened. (Where I work, we call this "opportunities to grow", and it always means it's going to suck.)

It will be hard for your co-workers to answer to somebody younger than them-- it tweaks their pride. But their pride is THEIR problem, not yours. You can make situation better by being the best manager you can be. Don't be that guy who forgets what it was like, and don't be a tool. When you're asking why something isn't done yet, ask what help they need to get un-stuck. If they still are hostile, let it go. While they are at work, you can dictate how they spend their time, but you will never be able (nor should you be) to tell them how to feel.


If the job feels like a bad fit for you, and you don't want to "grow" in that direction, then don't. Otherwise, don't let a bunch of coworkers you won't even know five years from now hold you back. There's only one promotion, why shouldn't you be the one to have it? Don't age discriminate, especially not against yourself!

Thank you very much. As a young woman, I am the first female manager here and I have a feeling that may also have something to do with the situation. However your advice is perfectly correct- I haven't let anyone hold me back on my way to this position, why stop now?

 

[KennedyMcKenna]

As someone in a very similar position, I say: absolutely.

I too am young (28) and am an RN. When I started working for my current employer I was a floor nurse, a position I wanted, but within a month found myself as a Registered Nurse Supervisor and managing the entire 2nd floor staff. By working the floor I had built a good report with fellow co-workers but still met with challenges when I was now the one responsible for disciplinary action and things of the like. I stuck by the position though and love it. Your co-workers, especially those who have been there longer, need time to adapt to this new change and your promotion, but give it time. You might find that you're where you're meant to be!

Thank you for the advice, I knew this was the place to go for help. As young women, I think it's great for people like you and I to do what needs to be done and prove that even though we're young we can handle it! Thanks for the support!

 

[KennedyMcKenna]

The first thing they tell you when you enter management is that your coworkers will talk about you.

Unfortunately I haven't had any formal training, so I'm doing A LOT of internet research and trying to find out everything I need to know, but his is good to know, wish I would have known it a few days ago!

 

[jedijill]

I've been in management for 15 years now as usually the only woman in a male dominated field. Be fair and direct and remember, you are the boss and not their friend. Learn how to set those boundries and you will be successful.

I found this book quite helpful.

http://www.amazon.com/Girls-Guide-W...=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1339613500&sr=1-1

Good luck!

Jill in CO

 

[kamom]

I have been in your shoes and it isn't fun! It hurts when you feel like no one likes you. You will soon realize it is just jealousy because the fact is - you were picked OVER them for the job. Keep your relationships professional at work and don't get too personal with any of them. I know that is hard to do, but in the end it is better. I recently had to fire a good friend due to an obvious compliance violation. It was very hard! Luckily, she knew she was wrong and didn't blame me. My best advice is to never let them see you get emotional. I have several times had to go to the bathroom and shed a few tears and then come out with a happy face on. The fact is - women are emotional and sometimes it just has to come out.

 

[*pixie*dust*]

Try this book --From Bud to Boss: Secrets to a Successful Transition to Remarkable Leadership .

It has a lot of helpful insight and is great for a new manager.

 

[MartyM]

Another good title for you is: Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office:
101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers

I also have something I saw about people talking behind your back--At least they're talking! For me, this means I've done something to get noticed. Usually it's good, sometimes it's not. But at least if they're talking about you, you know that you're not totally dismiss-able.

 

[Friendly Frog]

i just want to offer support. While hard and sad, your story is common. I lost a close friend of 10 years when I was made manager over her. It was extremely painful. In the end you can not limit your career or make inappropriate business decisions to save friends. I am 100% guilt free in how I treated my friend as well as my company loyalty. I can live with myself and my decisions, because I know I did the right thing towards both...and I will learn to live without my "friend".

 

[Pakey]

I'm a woman executive (vice president level) in a male dominated industry. Out of 20 executives at my company, I'm the only female and I'm at a higher level than all but the President and the other Vice President. I've been in management for a long time and since I have an MBA, I had a bit of education to help prepare me. My first entry level management position came when I was very young and some parts of being a manager never get easier.

I've always made it a fast rule that I do not socialize with anyone from work. Ever. I just don't do drama. Keep your work environment about work. I know enough about my staff's personal lives to show that I am interested in them as people but I never cross the line into gossip or giving advice, etc. Some of my employees think I'm great and there are others who can't stand me. It's just part of the territory. I never forget that I might someday have to discipline or terminate and experience has taught me that it's easier to do this if my employees don't think of me as their friend.

You have to earn their respect. Your position doesn't automatically give it to you. And being promoted over previous co-workers makes it even more important that you earn it. Many times I've seen good hard workers promoted who know absolutely nothing about management. You can be a good worker but still be a poor manager. Many of your older co-workers have probably experienced this so you can't expect that they are going to make the leap automatically. You will have to prove to them that you deserve to be their manager.

Good luck OP. I've seen many posts on the boards where employees hate their bosses. It always makes me cringe a little because being a good manager is hard work but a good number of your employees will never see it that way.

 

[Bob NC]

Congrats on the promotion!!

First thing I would have done is thank that employee that came to you for their honesty in telling you what the deal is. That person didn't have to do that and right there it shows some respect towards you that they felt comfortable telling you that.

Sometimes it's tough being promoted at a young age into a position where your reports are older than you. Just remember and have the confidence to realize you were promoted for a reason.

The petty jealousies and drama will lessen significantly as you prove yourself to be a capable manager.

When I was younger and was in the same position as you now I think the best advice I ever got in dealing with employees is to be firm, fair and consistent.

Keep that in your mind and I'm sure you'll grow into your job just fine, and earn the respect of those around you.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Also know that it is really hard to take when someone younger than you who has been at the job a lot less gets a promotion, regardless of anything else.

How would you feel if someone 19 came in and gets promoted to be your boss after working there a week? You'd either think they were really good or you start thinking other things.

The 19 year old might just very well deserve that promotion but YOU might not feel that way.


I should know. I've been the really young person promoted up quickly, and years later, I've been that person who got the kid promoted over her. It happens and people have strong feelings about it.

 

[Sagginit]

welcome to the club! i would read some management books but also general inspirational career advice. believe it or not marie claire magazine has some great career advice columns and interviews featured each month that i love because they always feature women and give lots of advice aimed at women.

friendship and management is a fine line to walk. you don't want to cut off the personal relationships you had before taking the promotion as that can make you look fake and untrustworthy to just turn on them so quickly. i would ease out of it a bit but for me it makes managing easier to on occasion grab a drink with the dept and lunch with a coworker. i also always let people vent about things that frustrate them, systems, policies etc. one key thing i learned from a management book is that sometimes in all that whining is a good idea or two. plus no one likes a gag order and i think it creates a culture of fear when people cant voice opinions at all.

people will adjust, it takes time. when i got my promotion last year i got it over several people, including someone almost twice my age who had been in the dept since the start of it. i found people did give me a bit of attitude at first, but i am very hands on and my coworkers really reacted well. for me being a manager is a bit like being a mom, you need to set rules, routines, boundaries, be giving of your time and have lots of patience, and be proud not just of your success, but of those you are managing.

ps forgot to add. for a lil bit when i got promoted into this office i did not openly tell people my age as i felt i was old enough for it to not really be any of any one's business. once i got promoted to manager and we started hiring more people i realized they thought i was wayyy younger. so my age is out now and it did make some feel better. so just keep in mind if you have not told them your exact age they may think you are even younger, usually when i do state my age i get an oooohhhh ok look of relief on new hires face.

 

[cornflake]

As others said, you can be friendly, but be careful of being friends with subordinates, it can be tricky.

Yes, it's worth it. If it wasn't this position at this time, it'd be another one later and the same reaction, because there will always be people who think it's not fair that you got the promotion, or that they shouldn't have to answer to ... whatever, a woman, someone younger, someone who didn't start in the mailroom, whatever. Be glad you're starting in management sooner rather than later, because it might be even harder to start facing this stuff after more years of being on the other side 'against' the managers, if you see what I mean.

Also remember that if you feel badly about telling people to do something or pushing them on a deadline that your company is investing in you to produce these results. They hired you to motivate and produce, so even if people don't like that - well, that's the job you're being paid for.

 

[Angie789]

I've also been in your shoes! It's not easy, but please don't jeopardize your career over this. I agree with what the PP said - maybe you haven't been in the work world long enough to see it, but there are some people who will always be resentful & have bad attitudes towards ANYONE who gets a promotion they didn't get - male or female, young or old.

I highly recommend the blog askamanager.org. Alison Green is the Careers writer for U.S. News & World Report magazine, and her blog is an absolute treasure trove of great advice & ideas for dealing with managerial issues. Read the comments sections, too - lots of people with years of experience weighing in. Good luck!