Jessa Duggar (of the Duggar Family) is courting

[A_Princess'_Daddy]

The real irony is there are multitudes of Christians and Conservatives too who support equality for LGBTs .

Like that Jesus guy, who gave us the instruction that the greatest commandment to love each other and never said anything to the contrary!

 

[TeresaNJ]

I feel sad for anyone forced into an arranged marriage, no matter what the culture or religion. My DH has worked with several Indian men whose parents forced them into arranged marriages when they would have much rather chosen their own wives. Things got very messy when the marriages fell apart.

Things I find disturbing about the Duggars are:

The subjugation of women and the limited roles available to women. If you choose to be a SAHM or SAHD, that's great, but these girls don't have a choice. They've been indoctrinated from a young age, and to them, it would be sacrilege to think that maybe they deserve a real education, a job of their own choosing and a social and dating life.

Requiring the older girls to care for the younger children. I know someone will say, "Well, my grandmother had 10 children and everyone helped out. I see nothing wrong with it." One of my grandmothers also had 10 children, and while the older ones did help with the younger ones, they were permitted to have friends and lives of their own. They were not solely responsible for diapering, feeding, supervising and getting up in the night with a two-year-old.

Lack of faith in the children to behave appropriately. If the children are as devout as the Duggars say, why aren't they trusted to go out in the world, pick their own job (outside of the approved list) and choose their own mates? Why supervise adults to the point that you insist on reading their texts? It's obvious that they really don't trust their children.

The hypocrisy of Jim Bob and Michelle. They got to experience friends, dating, cheerleading and being on a roller skating team and didn't turn into sex-crazed, devil worshipping fiends. Yet, they won't even allow their children to choose their own friends. The parents have the ultimate authority and it's wrong and disrepectful to challenge them. So why wasn't it wrong for Jim Bob and Michelle to disregard their parents' beliefs and and convert to fundamentalism?

Promoting the idea that men are completely obsessed with sex and can't control themselves, so, of course, the women must make sure they don't so much as show a collarbone or a knee for fear that they might tempt one of those feeble-minded men. Meanwhile, the men wear whatever they want. My husband finds it offensive that anyone would think he's incapable of controlling himself if a women walks by with two buttons undone on her shirt or if he sees a women in a bathing suit on the beach.

Almost everything you have written here is false. The girls, as well as the boys, are encouraged to follow their dreams. The whole family has traveled the world, the older girls are first responders, as well as one training to be a midwife, and one a dula. One of the girls wants to be a teacher. I have no idea where you people get your info from, but it is unbelievable how you all go on spreading your untruths!

 

[CPT Tripss]

I didn't read this whole thread but I just wanted to say Jessa grew up to be so pretty!

Same can be said for Casey Anthony and Jodi Arias.

 

[handinpocket]

Same can be said for Casey Anthony and Jodi Arias.

That says more about YOU than the Duggars....just ridiculous.

 

[Granny square]

I can't wrap by brain around an assertion that something is "mainstream" when it is just one, of many, methods employed by a small group which is decidedly not "mainstream," i.e. homeschoolers.

Children that have "submitted" are anything but resilient.

30 years working with kids who have been abused tells me differently. Most are able to move on admirably. Luckily.

Subgroups can have their own "things". It isn't odd. There are practices by many groups which are normal and work within their world. Those are mainstream for that group. Not a big deal.

 

[Granny square]

The real irony is there are multitudes of Christians and Conservatives too who support equality for LGBTs .

Thankfully.

 

[Planogirl]

Name calling is never OK. Has anyone done this when it comes to the Duggars? It's certainly possible to disagree with a chosen lifestyle if a family chooses to share it with the world. Being gay is not a chosen lifestyle so I don't see how it compares.

 

[okeydokey]

I feel sad for anyone forced into an arranged marriage, no matter what the culture or religion. My DH has worked with several Indian men whose parents forced them into arranged marriages when they would have much rather chosen their own wives. Things got very messy when the marriages fell apart.

Things I find disturbing about the Duggars are:

The subjugation of women and the limited roles available to women. If you choose to be a SAHM or SAHD, that's great, but these girls don't have a choice. They've been indoctrinated from a young age, and to them, it would be sacrilege to think that maybe they deserve a real education, a job of their own choosing and a social and dating life.

Requiring the older girls to care for the younger children. I know someone will say, "Well, my grandmother had 10 children and everyone helped out. I see nothing wrong with it." One of my grandmothers also had 10 children, and while the older ones did help with the younger ones, they were permitted to have friends and lives of their own. They were not solely responsible for diapering, feeding, supervising and getting up in the night with a two-year-old.

Lack of faith in the children to behave appropriately. If the children are as devout as the Duggars say, why aren't they trusted to go out in the world, pick their own job (outside of the approved list) and choose their own mates? Why supervise adults to the point that you insist on reading their texts? It's obvious that they really don't trust their children.

The hypocrisy of Jim Bob and Michelle. They got to experience friends, dating, cheerleading and being on a roller skating team and didn't turn into sex-crazed, devil worshipping fiends. Yet, they won't even allow their children to choose their own friends. The parents have the ultimate authority and it's wrong and disrepectful to challenge them. So why wasn't it wrong for Jim Bob and Michelle to disregard their parents' beliefs and and convert to fundamentalism?

Promoting the idea that men are completely obsessed with sex and can't control themselves, so, of course, the women must make sure they don't so much as show a collarbone or a knee for fear that they might tempt one of those feeble-minded men. Meanwhile, the men wear whatever they want. My husband finds it offensive that anyone would think he's incapable of controlling himself if a women walks by with two buttons undone on her shirt or if he sees a women in a bathing suit on the beach.

Perfect summary. I agree with every word.

 

[CPT Tripss]

That says more about YOU than the Duggars....just ridiculous.

Not to go too far OT . . . i tried to think of a couple despicable young women. Guess I should have added that outward appearances, attractiveness, tell us nothing about a person. I could also list more than a couple of women that would not be judged attractive if only their picture were shown, but would be lauded for their good works by many on this board.

 

[Disney Ella]

Almost everything you have written here is false. The girls, as well as the boys, are encouraged to follow their dreams. The whole family has traveled the world, the older girls are first responders, as well as one training to be a midwife, and one a dula. One of the girls wants to be a teacher. I have no idea where you people get your info from, but it is unbelievable how you all go on spreading your untruths!

Midwife and doula are on the approved list of jobs for women. Jill originally said several years ago that she wanted to be a nurse. If any career was really open to her, she would have gone to nursing school, but that would have exposed her to people who aren't like-minded.

One of the girls may very well want to be a teacher but that doesn't mean she'll ever be allowed to go to an accredited college and actually be a salaried teacher. The Duggar children have no experience with teachers in schools, so I wouldn't be surprised if "be a teacher" might really mean she wants to teach her own children some day, which is certainly a laudable ambition, but very different from getting a four-year degree and landing a job in a school.

 

[Conservative Hippie]

Promoting the idea that men are completely obsessed with sex and can't control themselves, so, of course, the women must make sure they don't so much as show a collarbone or a knee for fear that they might tempt one of those feeble-minded men. Meanwhile, the men wear whatever they want. My husband finds it offensive that anyone would think he's incapable of controlling himself if a women walks by with two buttons undone on her shirt or if he sees a women in a bathing suit on the beach.

Except the Duggar men do not wear whatever they want, they also maintain their idea of modesty. You will never see a duggar man swimming with no shirt.

Once a water park I saw a family of a certain background, the man and boys were wearing normal swim trunks, no shirts, and the woman was covered literally head to wrist to ankle. That is hypocrisy in my book.

Sent from me.

 

[handinpocket]

Not to go too far OT . . . i tried to think of a couple despicable young women. Guess I should have added that outward appearances, attractiveness, tell us nothing about a person. I could also list more than a couple of women that would not be judged attractive if only their picture were shown, but would be lauded for their good works by many on this board.

This is comparable to the Duggars, how? Yeah, that is what I thought. The Duggars have already shown themselves to be morally sound people who have done good works. You were just trying to get a cheap shot in, own it.

 

[chobie]

Name calling is never OK. Has anyone done this when it comes to the Duggars? It's certainly possible to disagree with a chosen lifestyle if a family chooses to share it with the world. Being gay is not a chosen lifestyle so I don't see how it compares.

True. Moreover, no one is trying to pass laws or constitutional amendments to prevent the Duggar's from living their lifestyle. No one is suggesting that discriminating against them is ok.

So, even if one chooses to believe that being LBGT is a "choice," it's still a false equivalency to the Duggar's because they are not being denied any rights, nor is anyone even suggesting they be denied rights.

 

[Colleen27]

The subjugation of women and the limited roles available to women. If you choose to be a SAHM or SAHD, that's great, but these girls don't have a choice. They've been indoctrinated from a young age, and to them, it would be sacrilege to think that maybe they deserve a real education, a job of their own choosing and a social and dating life.

That's where my issue with them begins and ends. IMO, choice is the key to happiness. I know people of all stripes who are happy with their lives - SAHM, working mom, married, single, Christian, atheist, liberal, conservative, whatever. But the people I know who are chronically unhappy tend to be those who had their "choices" thrust upon them - the mom who can't work because after childcare it would be a net expense that the family can't afford, or the one who desperately wants to stay home but couldn't keep food on the table if she did, or the man who drifted into a job with a steady paycheck rather than choosing a fulfilling career, the couple that married because of an unintended pregnancy, etc.

The Duggars have already shown themselves to be morally sound people who have done good works.

"Morally sound" is an entirely subjective notion, not a standard that can be measured against.

So, even if one chooses to believe that being LBGT is a "choice," it's still a false equivalency to the Duggar's because they are not being denied any rights, nor is anyone even suggesting they be denied rights.

I don't have to like the Duggars; my dislike of their lifestyle has exactly zero effect on their ability to live as they see fit. And that is as it should be. There is no parallel at all between opinions voiced on a message board and campaigns to deny others equal protection as they live in the manner they see fit.

 

[Randi]

Just wondering, what happened to Josh's used car business? I don't watch often & it used to be shown once in a while. Even moved to a bigger location. Also was his & Anna's house one owned by the family as a rental so they didn't have to sell it when they moved?

 

[aprilchem]

Promoting the idea that men are completely obsessed with sex and can't control themselves, so, of course, the women must make sure they don't so much as show a collarbone or a knee for fear that they might tempt one of those feeble-minded men. Meanwhile, the men wear whatever they want. My husband finds it offensive that anyone would think he's incapable of controlling himself if a women walks by with two buttons undone on her shirt or if he sees a women in a bathing suit on the beach.

As a modest-dressing Christian female, I just had to point out that you are totally wrong about that. I wear modest clothing (long skirts, covered to the elbows, I don't wear low-cut clothing), as does my daughter. My sons and husband dress modestly as well, as does every male in a modest-dressing family I know. The Duggars are the same - I believe the males don't wear shorts or sleeveless shirts and never go outside without a shirt.

And I have to say that if that offends your husband, then sorry. I'm proud of my body and save it for my husband to see, not your husband to see.

 

[Granny square]

Midwife and doula are on the approved list of jobs for women. Jill originally said several years ago that she wanted to be a nurse. If any career was really open to her, she would have gone to nursing school, but that would have exposed her to people who aren't like-minded.

One of the girls may very well want to be a teacher but that doesn't mean she'll ever be allowed to go to an accredited college and actually be a salaried teacher. The Duggar children have no experience with teachers in schools, so I wouldn't be surprised if "be a teacher" might really mean she wants to teach her own children some day, which is certainly a laudable ambition, but very different from getting a four-year degree and landing a job in a school.

Lol, I'm fairly certain that they understand the concept of teacher. Many of the parents int our homeschool group were teachers (real ones, lol) and many students go into that field.

My nephew in law and niece both were homeschooled and teach in the public schools! Imagine?!

There are a lot of kids in that family. Stats say they will make varied choices. It is what it is.

 

[Disney Ella]

As a modest-dressing Christian female, I just had to point out that you are totally wrong about that. I wear modest clothing (long skirts, covered to the elbows, I don't wear low-cut clothing), as does my daughter. My sons and husband dress modestly as well, as does every male in a modest-dressing family I know. The Duggars are the same - I believe the males don't wear shorts or sleeveless shirts and never go outside without a shirt.

And I have to say that if that offends your husband, then sorry. I'm proud of my body and save it for my husband to see, not your husband to see.

What offends him is the idea that men are incapable of behaving appropriately around women who show any skin.

 

[Granny square]

What offends him is the idea that men are incapable of behaving appropriately around women who show any skin.

Lol, it doesn't have anything to do with him. So it is silly for him to choose to be offended. But if he enjoys it, have at it.

 

[Conservative Hippie]

As a modest-dressing Christian female, I just had to point out that you are totally wrong about that. I wear modest clothing (long skirts, covered to the elbows, I don't wear low-cut clothing), as does my daughter. My sons and husband dress modestly as well, as does every male in a modest-dressing family I know. The Duggars are the same - I believe the males don't wear shorts or sleeveless shirts and never go outside without a shirt.

And I have to say that if that offends your husband, then sorry. I'm proud of my body and save it for my husband to see, not your husband to see.

We dress modestly in our house too (although for us short-sleeves are ok, not sleeveless or spaghetti straps though, and we wear knee-length skirts or capris). Same for men and women. It has nothing to do with being ashamed.

Sent from me.