I am humbled by all the kind words, words of encouragement, and tips that I have had on this journal. My journey has brought me 5 pounds lighter, an acknowledgement that I am a compulsive binge eater, short term (1derland by our trip in OCt.) and long term (1/2 marathon in 2007) goals, run/walking for 30 minutes 4 times a week, and step by step closer to God's will for my life. WOW! Some stupid binge (or two) will NOT STOP this journey. My friends, your words of encouragement touch my heart and keep me going.
BTW, goldcupmom, I see in your signature that you've reached your goals. WAY TO GO! I love seeing other's reach their goal. It makes me say...hey, I can do that, too!
Tigercheer, here's my message for my "binge monster" aka "my will over God's will"....
You come quietly enough. You hide in my cabinets and my refrigerator. You say, "I'll just wait right here until your husband goes to work or your family goes to bed." You seduce me with thoughts like "Just have one" or "You did great today, you deserve a reward." You show me opportunities like - "if you take just one, you can eat it on the computer, hide the wrapper in the bottom of the trash can, and no one will know." Or perhaps, binge monster, you are the extra couple bucks I have in my purse -- calling out to be spent on french fries or Krystal burgers. "You have enough time to drive through, eat, and throw away the wrappers before you get home. A piece of gum will hide your sin and driving with the windows down will blow out the stench." I say stench because before the binge it is a "smell" of McDonalds but after the binge it is a "stench" of guilt and self-loathing. Once you have your hands on me, binge monster, the flood gates open. You have wet my appitite for food and nothing but an over-stuffed belly will stop me from bingeing. Only when I am numbed by the aching stomach and the after taste of two extra stength maalox lingers in my mouth do you leave -- slithering on your stomach out of my sight. Like the serpent in the Garden of Eden you say, "Did God REALLY say that you shouldn't eat that?" And there I lay, on my right side hoping to let gravity move the food out of my stomach into my colon so I don't vomit. Thinking to myself, "Where are the fig leaves? I want to hide from people and from God." But now you are in the light, binge monster. You are being shown for what you really are. No more hiding. If I eat -- I will eat in front of those who love me. I will NOT forget you but I have learned to RECOGNIZE you. That is where you are to me now -- OUTed -- for all to see. Be warned! My God is bigger than you. My God is stronger than you. MY GOD will trample you under his feet!!!! Take THAT, binge monster.....
Good, I feel better now.
with the husband. Now it looks like I just have to rest and get better. I don't know who's more disappointed me or my dh!
for a speedy recovery. 
