Jeans to dinner?

[GOUSFBULLS99]

All Cruise companies should amend their policy to read "dress shorts are allowed". I'm on vacation in a tropical climate. I should be allowed to be comfortable. I should be allowed to wear a collared shirt and dress shorts to dinner (except at formal night).

Last year we went on a carnival cruise and forgot our garment bag at home. I wore dress shorts and a collared shirt to dinner, but was made to feel inferior by the maitre d'. He would get on the microphone every night and say shorts are not allowed and the next night he would not allow us into the dining room. He was not talking directly to me, but everyone in general. It put a sour taste in my mouth about going on another carnival cruise.

Now off my soapbox, DCL does not seem to strickly enforce the dress code.

 

[brinalyn530]

OK, I am growing more and more concerned about this. Personally, I don't think it's anyone's business how someone else choses to dress for dinner, particularly since you are basically hidden from view from the mid-chest to waist down once you are seated. As long as you are not exposing yourself and are clean, what's the big deal? It's a vacation, people, and we're not sailing on the Queen Mary! If it really matters that much to you, chose another - more formal - cruise line.

With that said, here's our deal - my father is a quadriplegic in a power wheelchair. He cannot fit under a standard table so his attire will be out on display at each meal. He also cannot, for comfort and medical device reasons, wear jeans or other pants with button type or zipper closures or button up dress-type shirts. The easiest thing for my mom to dress him in that is both comfortable for him and convenient for mom is the knit "lounge" type pants and polos or tshirts. It is also terribly inconvenient for my mother to have to re-dress dad for dinner - I'll spare the details but it's at least an hour long process. So what he is dressed in in the morning is what he is going to show up to dinner in. How likely is it that we will have to endure comments (either on the cruise or here on the DIS once we return) that "the guy in the wheelchair didn't dress to my liking for dinner"?

We shouldn't even have to think about something like this, but after having read numerous posts about how "if we can afford a cruise, we should be able to afford to dress nice for dinner" and "it's disrespectful not to dress up for dinner because it affects everyone else's experience" blah, blah, blah - how can we not be concerned? My father has every right to dine in the dining rooms with everyone else, regardless of what he can or cannot wear, or for that matter, what he CHOOSES to wear - and that is my opinion of everyone on the boat. No one should be confined to eat on deck nine, Topsiders/BB, or room service because of the way they dress as long as it is not indecent or dirty. Now if you CHOOSE to eat elsewhere, obviously that is an entirely different thing, and honestly, once my parents have seen the dining rooms, we may choose to eat elsewhere, but it is and should be our choice. Some people just are not comfortable in dress up clothes - others have to dress up every day for work and they don't want to on vacation - there are a million and two reasons why someone would want to wear jeans/capris/lounge pants, etc. to dinner. As long as we are following the advice of Disney Cruise Line (no shorts, no swimsuits, no tank tops) why is it anyone else's concern? If you don't like it, don't look. Enjoy the company of your family and friends, be grateful that you are fortunate enough to be healthy and financially able to have such a nice vacation, and leave everybody else alone to do the same.

OK, rant over. And since I am sure it will come based on previous threads, Flame away...

 

[wwwosie]

I agree with folks about jeans being o.k. for dinner as long as they look pressed and clean and fit correctly.
That said... I don't think it is appropriate to wear them on formal night, even if you jazz the outfit up with a nice top. That's why it's called formal night.
But it is true that if folks don't have opportunities to wear formal clothing at home going through the expense just for the sake of one cruise doesn't make economic sense. Although I have to tell you taht some of the Goodwill Stores where I live have some really nice stuff!
I am the most casual person in the world and don't dress up unless I have to, but if an occassion comes up where I need to dress more formally, I comply (and love the double takes!).
Personally, I will not let my son or daughter wear jeans for formal night or even semi-formal, the rest of the time, they can pretty much wear whatever makes them comfortable. Maybe he won wear a tux, but tie and jacket will be packed.

 

[Mickeyhugger]

All Cruise companies should amend their policy to read "dress shorts are allowed". I'm on vacation in a tropical climate. I should be allowed to be comfortable. I should be allowed to wear a collared shirt and dress shorts to dinner (except at formal night).

Last year we went on a carnival cruise and forgot our garment bag at home. I wore dress shorts and a collared shirt to dinner, but was made to feel inferior by the maitre d'. He would get on the microphone every night and say shorts are not allowed and the next night he would not allow us into the dining room. He was not talking directly to me, but everyone in general. It put a sour taste in my mouth about going on another carnival cruise.

Now off my soapbox, DCL does not seem to strickly enforce the dress code.

I am sorry that you forgot your bag but I am one that wishes that the cruise lines would strictly enforce their published dress codes.

Rob

 

[Kim&Chris]

OK, I am growing more and more concerned about this. Personally, I don't think it's anyone's business how someone else choses to dress for dinner, particularly since you are basically hidden from view from the mid-chest to waist down once you are seated. As long as you are not exposing yourself and are clean, what's the big deal? It's a vacation, people, and we're not sailing on the Queen Mary! If it really matters that much to you, chose another - more formal - cruise line.

With that said, here's our deal - my father is a quadriplegic in a power wheelchair. He cannot fit under a standard table so his attire will be out on display at each meal. He also cannot, for comfort and medical device reasons, wear jeans or other pants with button type or zipper closures or button up dress-type shirts. The easiest thing for my mom to dress him in that is both comfortable for him and convenient for mom is the knit "lounge" type pants and polos or tshirts. It is also terribly inconvenient for my mother to have to re-dress dad for dinner - I'll spare the details but it's at least an hour long process. So what he is dressed in in the morning is what he is going to show up to dinner in. How likely is it that we will have to endure comments (either on the cruise or here on the DIS once we return) that "the guy in the wheelchair didn't dress to my liking for dinner"?

We shouldn't even have to think about something like this, but after having read numerous posts about how "if we can afford a cruise, we should be able to afford to dress nice for dinner" and "it's disrespectful not to dress up for dinner because it affects everyone else's experience" blah, blah, blah - how can we not be concerned? My father has every right to dine in the dining rooms with everyone else, regardless of what he can or cannot wear, or for that matter, what he CHOOSES to wear - and that is my opinion of everyone on the boat. No one should be confined to eat on deck nine, Topsiders/BB, or room service because of the way they dress as long as it is not indecent or dirty. Now if you CHOOSE to eat elsewhere, obviously that is an entirely different thing, and honestly, once my parents have seen the dining rooms, we may choose to eat elsewhere, but it is and should be our choice. Some people just are not comfortable in dress up clothes - others have to dress up every day for work and they don't want to on vacation - there are a million and two reasons why someone would want to wear jeans/capris/lounge pants, etc. to dinner. As long as we are following the advice of Disney Cruise Line (no shorts, no swimsuits, no tank tops) why is it anyone else's concern? If you don't like it, don't look. Enjoy the company of your family and friends, be grateful that you are fortunate enough to be healthy and financially able to have such a nice vacation, and leave everybody else alone to do the same.

OK, rant over. And since I am sure it will come based on previous threads, Flame away...

No Flames Here!! I agree that people should dress how they want to (except for the lady who showed up to lunch in her black bikini w/ a black cover-up over it and a MASSIVE black sun hat ). And let me tell you, she had NO business wearing a bikini

Don't sweat the small stuff. Enjoy your cruise!

 

[wwwosie]

OK, I am growing more and more concerned about this. Personally, I don't think it's anyone's business how someone else choses to dress for dinner, particularly since you are basically hidden from view from the mid-chest to waist down once you are seated. As long as you are not exposing yourself and are clean, what's the big deal? It's a vacation, people, and we're not sailing on the Queen Mary! If it really matters that much to you, chose another - more formal - cruise line.

With that said, here's our deal - my father is a quadriplegic in a power wheelchair. He cannot fit under a standard table so his attire will be out on display at each meal. He also cannot, for comfort and medical device reasons, wear jeans or other pants with button type or zipper closures or button up dress-type shirts. The easiest thing for my mom to dress him in that is both comfortable for him and convenient for mom is the knit "lounge" type pants and polos or tshirts. It is also terribly inconvenient for my mother to have to re-dress dad for dinner - I'll spare the details but it's at least an hour long process. So what he is dressed in in the morning is what he is going to show up to dinner in. How likely is it that we will have to endure comments (either on the cruise or here on the DIS once we return) that "the guy in the wheelchair didn't dress to my liking for dinner"?

I wish you were going on our cruise because your whole family would be welcome at our table. Like I said, I do like to dress up and make my kiddos do it, but that's just me. I did feel sorry for my friend a few years ago, her, her DH and DD were dressed to the nines in their formal picture. The DS had on a T-SHIRT.... you think for ONE picture...

I do hope your parents enjoy the dining room experience because I know the servers will try to help in any way they can to make your dad feel comfortable.

 

[wwwosie]

I am sorry that you forgot your bag but I am one that wishes that the cruise lines would strictly enforce their published dress codes.

Rob

Although I understand what you are saying and to a degree agree with you, nowadays the cruise lines would lose money if they enforced the dress code.

This happens not only in cruises but in restaurants also. A few years ago we were at a somewhat fancy restaurant with my DH's boss. In walks this woman with the smallest dress I have ever seen, spilling out everywhere (and let me tell you, she wasn't a spring chicken). She really looked like she belonged in a Las Vegas review...

But back to the OP question. There is NO RULE against jeans in the dining room so no one is breaking the rules if they wear them. Shorts are another story... but unfortunately nowadays a lot of people think the rules don't apply to them. Nevertheless if someone sits at my table not wearing the "right attire" we'll still have a blast getting to know them...
I know plenty of folks who were ARmani and Prada like I wear JC Penneys and believe me... you wouldn't want to hang out with them on a regular basis...

 

[brucechase]

OK, I am growing more and more concerned about this.

With that said, here's our deal - ... "the guy in the wheelchair didn't dress to my liking for dinner"?

Don't be concerned. People who judge other people based on their clothes will probably judge them based on other things too. You won't be able to please them, nor should you.

My rule is they only have a say in my life if they live with me or pay my bills.

 

[wwwosie]

My rule is they only have a say in my life if they live with me or pay my bills.

Which is EXACTLY why my kids are not allowed to wear JEANS on formal night

 

[GOUSFBULLS99]

I am sorry that you forgot your bag but I am one that wishes that the cruise lines would strictly enforce their published dress codes.

Rob

I'm really not trying to be a pest, but can you tell me why? (Other than the swimwear, too short outfits, and inappropirate stuff.) Just trying to get another perspective.

 

[nokidz]

I do not agree with jeans and I do not agree with tuxes. That is my choice. We go cruise casual in all dinning rooms. I will suit up for Palo. If I am sitting next to a person in a tux or a person in swim shorts, it will not effect my dinning experience, plus it is none of my business. Just as what I am wearing should not effect others dinning experience and it is none of their business.

 

[brinalyn530]

And I don't mean to imply that the rest of my family will show up in beach clothes... We do dress nicely for dinner - slacks, skirts, dresses, etc. - even though I personally am uncomfortable in anything but jeans/shorts and tshirts, I will endure the torture for the photos to turn out! But that is our motivation to dress nicely - the pictures of our family - not anyone else's belief that we should.

- Sabrina

 

[Mickeyhugger]

I'm really not trying to be a pest, but can you tell me why? (Other than the swimwear, too short outfits, and inappropirate stuff.) Just trying to get another perspective.

If cruise lines have a published "dress code" then they need to enforce it. This would cut out all the bickering. I have dined in some very nice restaurants in NYC that have dress codes and they enforce their policy, quite simple if you want to eat here dress as published.

Rob

 

[brucechase]

Can teenagers wear jeans for dinner?

It would be nice if they did not: Kids need to learn at a early age what is expected of them in social settings like nice restaurants.
Rob

If cruise lines have a published "dress code" then they need to enforce it. This would cut out all the bickering. I have dined in some very nice restaurants in NYC that have dress codes and they enforce their policy, quite simple if you want to eat here dress as published.

Rob

From the DCL website:

In general, most meals are "Cruise Casual" -- no shorts, swimwear or tank tops.

Jeans are allowed by the "dress code".

 

[aristocats_lover]

Since there is nothing saying "no jeans" I would think those are fine, if they are nice looking jeans. You know, not any holes in the behind or thongs hanging out the back ala Britney Spears.

However, I am going to have to agree with Rob here on the rest. Why? Because rules are rules. And if you are going to choose to go to any place (cruise, hotel, restaurant, etc) that has a dress code, you should respect said establishment by following their rules. Just like school or work.

Now, there's that whole argument of "It's no one else's business what I do or look like, and I paid to be here" blah blah blah. Well, if I am more comfortable driving at 50-60 mph, I still drive at 45 because that's the speed limit. It's showing respect to your host (in that case, the government for providing the road...but more so the cop with his radar on ). And yes, I pay for that road with my taxes, but no, it doesn't give me the right to do whatever I want on it. Just because you are paying for something doesn't mean you are entitled to do whatever, an attitude I am finding to be more and more common in our society that I find truly horrifying.

You can be comfortable in more formal clothes if you take a little time to find ones that fit you well, or are in a fabric you like, etc. And they don't have to be expensive either...I worked retail for many years, and we had cutomers pick up dresses for their cruises for $5-$20. These were originally $100 - $150 dresses. There are plenty of times in the year that you can get discounts (after wedding season, prom season, etc). Also, for the guys, go to Burlington Coat Factory. Good stuff for super cheap. Or Target. And there are lightweight dress fabrics. We live in FL, so we know the need for lightweight!

Now, there are exceptions (like the medical reason listed above) but I really think that falls under common sense and isn't what Rob or anyone else meant when they said dress codes should be followed.

I don't think it is judging someone necessarily based on their dress, but more so on their blatant disregard for the rules set forth by their host.

 

[outlander]

If cruise lines have a published "dress code" then they need to enforce it. This would cut out all the bickering. I have dined in some very nice restaurants in NYC that have dress codes and they enforce their policy, quite simple if you want to eat here dress as published.

Rob

The bottom line is, jeans are allowed.
BTW...having a dress code and enforcing it is NOT going to alliviate the problems of appropriatness. My version of dressing up can be very different from someone elses. We all come from different backgrounds and cultures and there will ALWAYS be those that feel the dress of others is inappropriate. The question is "Inappropriate to whom?"
The dress code in Palo states no jeans, swimwear, shorts (fine) but I can guarantee that doesn't mean you are going to get the best dressed. As an example, we were seated right next to a lady who wore a cotton logo t-shirt and cotton pants. None of her attire broke the 'dress code' but...wow...not what I thought I would see in Palo. I know I would have been upset if I had worn a nice pair of jeans and was refused service because in my opinion, a nice pair of jeans looks 100x nicer than a cotton outfit and sneakers.

 

[blacksmithcrm]

It really doesn't hurt to dress nice, and doesn't require a great deal of sacrifice.

On the 6 night transatlantic on the QM2 there were 3 formal nights (tux).
2 semi (suit and tie) and 1 casual (sportcoat and tie). You were not seated unless you met the standard. With obvious exception for those unable to comply, I'd like to see Disney try a little harder in this area too

 

[gometros]

It really doesn't hurt to dress nice, and doesn't require a great deal of sacrifice.

On the 6 night transatlantic on the QM2 there were 3 formal nights (tux).
2 semi (suit and tie) and 1 casual (sportcoat and tie). You were not seated unless you met the standard. With obvious exception for those unable to comply, I'd like to see Disney try a little harder in this area too

That is your choice, but for now the rules are clearly stated that jeans are allowed. If how people are dressed around you is important, then choose a cruise line where the dress code is more appropriate to your lifestyle. Cunard for example. The Queen Mary II and Queen VIctoria tend to be more formal ships. Men are required to wear jackets during the evening, not only at dinner, but anytime after 6:00pm. Wander over to the Cruise Critic boards and you will find similar debates froma totally different perspective. They don't debate tux versus no tux, but what kind of bow tie to wear Everything is a matter of perspective.

People will; enjoy their vacation more if they spend less time worried about how other people behave and dress.

 

[DVCconvert]

It's very simple.

For those wishing to enjoy a "classical cruise" experience - book your tickets on the QE2 or QM. Wear swallow tails & hoop skirts to breakfast if you like.

For those wanting a family friendly relaxed cruise experience, where "dressing for dinner" is not the main focus; there's DCL.
If you feel that you wish to be commanded to dress up, on DCL, there's palo.

see -- something for everyone!

 

[blacksmithcrm]

. They don't debate tux versus no tux, but what kind of bow tie to wear Everything is a matter of perspective.



So true! We saw one gentleman wearing a white dinner jacket. It wasn't even July or August and we were way north of the equator!

Scandalous!