My kids will be 13 (his birthday week), 11, 9, 7, 4, 2, and about 4 months old. If your DD is 4 now, she'll be in the 5-7 age clubs with my DS7. I also have a DS 3 who will be 4 by the cruise. They go to the Oceaneer club. Sometimes they have group activities from 3-7, other times they separate it into 3-4, and 5-7, depending on what they are doing. My 3 yo LOVED the clubs and had no problem going by himself if his activity was not for his 6 yo brother's age too.
Babies go to all sorts of shows. What I would do, since both times I cruised with 13-15 month olds and this worked, was to sit in the back on an aisle. I don't recall having to take them out, though. DS is now 18 months old, and judging by the way he points out Mickey everywhere he sees him, I think he would be pretty well-behaved at a show, since there are lots of characters and such there. If your LO just can't take it, crying in line to get in,
DCL has the shows on the TV in your state room. That's how I saw the Golden Mickeys the second time around, and Twice charmed, while the boys were in quarantine. it's not the same as being there, but it's an acceptable alternative if the baby wants to sleep!
Book your hotel NOW! We stayed at the Marriott residence inn, which hadn't even opened up yet. We booked in January for a december cruise, and the hotel opened in March. A few weeks later, the prices were much higher. As soon as I book the cruise, I'm booking hotel rooms. We liked the residence inn. Radisson is good, I've heard, and the Ron Jon place, but that can get pricey. We're not traveling at a peak season, though, so that helps. There's a few drug stores and restaurants on the main strip in Cocoa beach. The disboards DCL forum usually talks about where to stay, and good restaurants. There is a nice one with a great view of the water, but it was a bit pricey for us and with our large party (we had 15 total family members on the last cruise), we decided since we had linked dinner reservations and would see each other all week, we split up for dinner at Cocoa beach. DH and I decided to forego fancy and just went to CVS for last minute stuff and Quizno's, the rest got pizza or went to a good Greek Gyro place down the street. I think it was a good idea, because everyone was so excited to be getting on the ship, spending much money or time on dinner the night before would have been wasted money.
I learned so much on the disboards last time!