It Finally Happened - They Flaked!

[RoseGold]

Sure as hell wouldn't air it out in an internet forum, no matter how steamed I was.

LOL, sorry if this laundry is too dirty for you. This seems to have happened to more than just me, based on these responses. And they're not family, for what it matters.

This was one of the hazards I read about before I bought into DVC, which I thought couldn't happen to me. Surely, I don't have friends or family who are so inconsiderate they would bail on thousands of dollars in reservations. They'll be so grateful I was able to snag a 2BR at Beach Club! I'm so good at this!

Maybe this isn't a big deal to you, but it is to me. I am going to have to rearrange my summer to get into VGF2 (thank Mickey they're VGF points!), and I'm still probably going to lose points. And yea, this was a lot of planning and work, and it's disappointing. I'm feeling hurt, my friendship is damaged, and my whole plan for DVC is in the air now. All because I tried to do something nice at a place I love, with a lot of planning and forethought. I thought this community would understand, and many have. Feels bad.

 

[DonMacGregor]

LOL, sorry if this laundry is too dirty for you. This seems to have happened to more than just me, based on these responses. And they're not family, for what it matters.

Not too dirty. Not dirty enough to be such a big deal in the bigger scheme of life. It happens, it happened, and you move on. You lost some DVC points. Yes, that sucks, but it's not like they stole your paycheck or mortgage payment, or cleaned out your retirement fund. I guess I just place more value on permanent things like relationships, and less value on temporary, transient ones like DVC points.

You own DVC, a timeshare designed with the purpose of providing multiple vacation opportunities each year or over multiple years (or decades). You're going to have to rearrange your summer, affecting just one of those many vacations and as you said you will still probably lose some points (but not all of them). That your "whole plan for DVC is in the air now" over a single event makes no sense. There will be more points next year, there will be a next summer, and VGF will still be there (even bigger).

Oh, and:

I bought DVC planning to treat some family and make this great group experience for the kids. I get it. Tickets are expensive. Airfare is expensive. Maybe my plan isn't going to work after all. This feels bad man.

So it sorta matters...

ETA: there are numerous previous responses in this thread referencing "family", none of which you took the opportunity to clarify or correct.

 

[RoseGold]

I'm not sure what you're saying. If I only treat people legally related to me, I won't be disappointed if they bail on thousands of dollars in reservations and leave me holding the bag? Or they won't leave me holding the bag if they're "family"?

These weren't flaky people. But they clearly didn't understand how much money and effort DVC takes, like all the similar stories on these boards. I'm disappointed. It's OK if you don't care about my DVC points, I'm on a DVC forum, so I thought someone might. I'm glad that this hasn't happened to you, because it feels bad. Really bad.

 

[DonMacGregor]

I'm not sure what you're saying. If I only treat people legally related to me, I won't be disappointed if they bail on thousands of dollars in reservations and leave me holding the bag? Or they won't leave me holding the bag if they're "family"?

I'm saying that I am apparently far less concerned with financial loss versus familial relationships. I guess we're just different that way.

When I clearly responded based on a familial relationship, you turned around and said "they're not family, for what it matters". To which I pointed out that you had given every indication that it was family right in your initial post, and had failed to correct any previous comments that were also believing you were talking about family.

If it wasn't family, that is certainly a different proposition, although I get the feeling you make no differentiation.

 

[TiggerBouncy]

I'm not sure what you're saying. If I only treat people legally related to me, I won't be disappointed if they bail on thousands of dollars in reservations and leave me holding the bag? Or they won't leave me holding the bag if they're "family"?

These weren't flaky people. But they clearly didn't understand how much money and effort DVC takes, like all the similar stories on these boards. I'm disappointed. It's OK if you don't care about my DVC points, I'm on a DVC forum, so I thought someone might. I'm glad that this hasn't happened to you, because it feels bad. Really bad.

I care, and I can relate. I have treated family, and I have treated those who I treat as family. Usually it works out well, but I have had a bail or two. I had one where one of the kids was misbehaving, so the parents decided that they were not going to treat the kid. That meant they couldn't go either. i get it.... I get that they didn't want to reward the bad behavior. But it still meant that all my work, my points and my treat for them was effectively ruined, and no - I was not going to do it a second time. That child has since never been to or seen WDW, which to me is sad.

You would think after all these years that I would stop doing this. But to be honest, I didn't really get DVC for me. I got DVC so I could share my love of Disney with those I love. However, it annoys me when others do not respect the gift that I am giving them - which is not just money, but time, and part of my heart.

So all I can tell you @RoseGold is that I know how you feel, and I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Please do not stop being who you are though; your desire and willingness to share is part of what makes you who you are.

 

[TiggerBouncy]

If it wasn't family, that is certainly a different proposition, although I get the feeling you make no differentiation.

Good friends are the family you choose vs the family you were born with. I would do anything for those I love; and it doesn't matter how they came into my life.

That's just me.

 

[DonMacGregor]

Good friends are the family you choose vs the family you were born with. I would do anything for those I love; and it doesn't matter how they came into my life.

That's just me.

And that's perfectly fine. I would and will do anything for family. That's how we were brought up, and I guess we're lucky that we aren't burdened with family that we were just born with.

But that's not the issue: the issue is placing a greater value on the cost of the inconvenience or financial loss versus the strength and long-term value of a relationship (with whomever, friend or family) and the power of acceptance and forgiveness.

I chose to focus on family because that is the inference I, and others, made based on the specific language in the original post. If you want to replace "good friend" or "best friend" in any of my arguments, I'll be ok with that.

And if we're airing dirty laundry, I'm a recovering alcoholic with 28 years of sobriety, so I know a bit about disappointing people, taking advantage of them, pushing family and friends to their absolute limit, etc.

 

[robinb]

And that's perfectly fine. I would and will do anything for family. That's how we were brought up, and I guess we're lucky that we aren't burdened with family that we were just born with.

But that's not the issue: the issue is placing a greater value on the cost of the inconvenience or financial loss versus the strength and long-term value of a relationship (with whomever, friend or family) and the power of acceptance and forgiveness.

I chose to focus on family because that is the inference I, and others, made based on the specific language in the original post. If you want to replace "good friend" or "best friend" in any of my arguments, I'll be ok with that.

That door swings both ways. The friends did not value the friendship appropriately and left RoseGold holding the bag and facing a financial loss.

 

[starlite_]

Maybe I'm just weird but I would 100% charge friends or family for the $$ invested that they agreed to when they agreed to the trip. I work hard for my money, even a few thousand dollars invested in something is a lot of money for me. If someone flaked and wanted to leave me with that bill by myself I cannot tell you how angry that would make me because it means they did not respect my time or my effort or my money or me.

Can't believe I'm saying this today but I agree 100% with TiggerBouncy. Folks on this thread are either saints or letting themselves be treated horribly.

@RoseGold Sincerely hope you are able to figure something out that doesn't leave you worse for wear, at least money/points wise.

 

[Sandisw]

Maybe I'm just weird but I would 100% charge friends or family for the $$ invested that they agreed to when they agreed to the trip. I work hard for my money, even a few thousand dollars invested in something is a lot of money for me. If someone flaked and wanted to leave me with that bill by myself I cannot tell you how angry that would make me because it means they did not respect my time or my effort or my money or me.

Can't believe I'm saying this today but I agree 100% with TiggerBouncy. Folks on this tread are either saints or letting themselves be treated horribly.

@RoseGold Sincerely hope you are able to figure something out that doesn't leave you worse for wear, at least money/points wise.

I think we all just need to remember that there is no right or wrong way to view this situation. It is certainly frustrating and a disappointment when you do something like this and end up having to adjust later on because people's plans have changed.

Not all of us will deal with things this same way. As I said, I have rooms booked for early December in a 2 bedroom at both VGF and RIV, based on current group who have said they are committed to going. But, I know that there is also a chance I could end up all alone in them and decided it was worth the risk if something happens and they back out.

I will certainly try to get others to go with me, but worst case, for me, I am spending the same number of points I would have spent if they had still gone. It certainly does not make me feel as though I am being treated badly because the choice is mine to spend my points this way. I simply don't feel comfortable charging family or friends for the room when I am traveling with them.

 

[BamaGuy44]

And that's perfectly fine. I would and will do anything for family. That's how we were brought up, and I guess we're lucky that we aren't burdened with family that we were just born with.

But that's not the issue: the issue is placing a greater value on the cost of the inconvenience or financial loss versus the strength and long-term value of a relationship (with whomever, friend or family) and the power of acceptance and forgiveness.

I chose to focus on family because that is the inference I, and others, made based on the specific language in the original post. If you want to replace "good friend" or "best friend" in any of my arguments, I'll be ok with that.

And if we're airing dirty laundry, I'm a recovering alcoholic with 28 years of sobriety, so I know a bit about disappointing people, taking advantage of them, pushing family and friends to their absolute limit, etc.

I'm confused. Did OP say this was going to end or damage her relationship with these people, or that she wouldn't forgive them? I think most of us would be very disappointed and mad in this situation, But it's a big leap from that to valuing money over the relationship. I've been plenty mad and disappointed in family members, and them in me. I don't think it means we don't value family as much as you do, or don't "focus on family"

None of us are really in a position to judge what emotions OP should or shouldn't be feeling, IMO

 

[TiggerBouncy]

As I said, I have rooms booked for early December in a 2 bedroom at both VGF and RIV, based on current group who have said they are committed to going. But, I know that there is also a chance I could end up all alone in them and decided it was worth the risk if something happens and they back out.

You know, my offer to RoseGold extends to you as well. It would be a huge sacrifice to go to Disney, but again - us DVC members have to stick together, and I really want to show my love and support for you Sandi.... So if they cancel on you, I..... I will step in and I am willing to take the hit and join you. It's difficult, but I will do that for you.

Like I mentioned, I have an AP and I know the associated costs. I won't bail. I will pay for a few dinners (even nice ones) and hey - we can see or do whatever you want. I have seen Disney enough times that I don't really come with a specific agenda in mind.

 

[KTownRaider]

To the OP- I'm very sorry this situation occurred. Really hope you can make lemonade (or VGF2 Limonata) from these lemons.

I bought into DVC last year partly to use it for friends and family. It was my choice to buy in and would never charge anyone I invited for using my points. It is my way of removing lodging as a barrier for a Disney vacation that is, for some that are close to me, becoming prohibitively expensive. However, I did go into DVC knowing people backing out at the last minute was a very real possibility, and very likely WILL occur at some point. I accept that. That said, I'm also under no illusion that it still won't STING when it eventually does happen. No one will ever appreciate your points, time, and planning/associated consideration of others more than yourself.

 

[dez1978]

We are going thru something similar with family. We planned this trip (universal) back in Aug for the end of may. It was supposed to be the week after the kids got out of school, but then snow days.. Still, no big deal, their kids would miss the last 3 days, who cares. Well fast forward to this week and they got a letter from the school saying their youngest couldn't miss anymore school or he'd be held back. They are counting covid quarantine absences against him so with that (he had it then his dad had it) he's missed 24 days this year. However their older kid, missed the same number of days and they haven't said squat about that. My kids school didn't count my kids quarantine as absences at all. SInce I booked so far ahead it was sort of reasonable for rooms and airfare. If we try to change to a week or 2 later rooms go up 200/night and the flights that were 163 each are now over 500. Not sure what we are going to do now. I think my family is still going. My brother in law and their oldest may still go, not sure yet.

 

[luvthatmouseinohio]

Been a legal assistant for years. Trust me when I say this … friends and family are at the top of the list of the people you need a contract with. They will stick it to you before an absolute stranger, because they can.

 

[KimMcGowan]

I will certainly try to get others to go with me, but worst case, for me, I am spending the same number of points I would have spent if they had still gone.

Sandi, as usual, seems to nailed the exact right way to think about this. That doesn’t mean it won’t sting or leave a bad memory. However, the points were going to be spent - now you can just spend them on you, feeling like a queen while enjoying the extra space.

 

[RoseGold]

WHO IS READY FOR A HAPPY ENDING? (maybe)

For a week, I've been calling who I thought had the time and money to do this. It conflicted with everyone's school/vacation/wedding plans. Even Grandma didn't want to go in the heat.

Well, as the crazy Disney person, a friend called me for Disney advice. This is not a friend who I thought was able to afford this. We've never even talked about Disney before. They have a family member deploying who has always wanted to go to WDW, they have military tickets, and they were sticker shocked by the crazy hotels. Enter 2BR Beach Club!!!

We are going to have this room packed! We cut the trip a couple days to scale back the cost. Boy, is 2BR BC a steal compared to the three hotel rooms this would take! They insisted on chipping in, and everyone is happy. I was able to book studios at Poly/OKW/Boardwalk to extend a little for just us and have a quadruple split stay haha. And I still managed to avoid my home resort of SSR. Everyone wins! Hoping to finalize this in a couple days, but we may have worked all of this out!

It's been a week, and I haven't heard from Flaky Friend at all. I guess they don't care what I was able to work out. I'm not sure what happens to a relationship after something like this.

 

[CarolMN]

Happy for you! . Good luck!

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Glad you were able to find someone

 

[808blessing]

Meant to be!!! So happy to hear!