Is your spouse ok with you being alone with the opposite sex?

[snapppyd]

Congratulations, you are unable to recognize sarcasm!!!

I don't get it. So you came to a family board to brag about having a 3-some in the sauna, to talk about your platonic male friend, and we are not recognizing sarcasm? Color me confused

 

[Candleinthewind]

I especially would not be ok with one spouse taking the kids to a sports practice while the other was out w/the "friend". That is time that both spouses could be together, instead one is out w/an opposite sex friend. Someone that they already spend a great deal of time with when the kids are in school. I think there is more emotional attachment than is being admitted.

Who said one took the kids to sports practice while the other was out with the "Friend"? Everyone is waiting to type and no one is really reading.

Again there are many assumptions in this thread including the sex of the parties involved!

 

[LisaR]

Who said one took the kids to sports practice while the other was out with the "Friend"? Everyone is waiting to type and no one is really reading.

Again there are many assumptions in this thread including the sex of the parties involved!

Here we go again. If there is something you want to get off your chest, just let it spill. It might make you feel better!

 

[Candleinthewind]

I don't get it. So you came to a family board to brag about having a 3-some in the sauna, to talk about your platonic male friend, and we are not recognizing sarcasm? Color me confused

Yes I answer a question in the Disney Cruise Forum about the Exotic Rasul and how my spouse and I thought it was hysterical that something as chaste as Disney would list a price for three people. So my spouse and I both ran with it and decided ourselves and the voices in our head would go in. It is called sarcasm, role-playing...innocent fun. Shocking I know.

Nice of someone to bring up a post somewhere else though that has nothing to do with an innocent day with a friend.

That is part of my point for posting this as well. I know two women who have a regular lunch date. They do go shopping together every week. No one bats an eye. However there are some who think because two people of the opposite sex due this that something torrid must be going on. Or sorry "Emotional".

Parents who stay home do have a life when the kids are in school!

 

[ronandannette]

Who said one took the kids to sports practice while the other was out with the "Friend"? Everyone is waiting to type and no one is really reading.
Again there are many assumptions in this thread including the sex of the parties involved!

...only thing I'm waiting to know is how the church ladies got in this (cue suspensful music)...

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

OK, going back to the OP, this is a really heteronormative question that leaves out anyone who is bisexual or lesbian/gay (which is most people!) but yes, my husband recognizes that I am not a child. What a bizarre question.

 

[TLSnell1981]

I believe she said Costco was something like 25 miles away so the likelihood of running into the town gossip is pretty slim.

No one from the church goes to Costco, only OP and their friend? I attend a church, that's 15 miles from my house. I run into folks, all around town..

 

[snapppyd]

Yes I answer a question in the Disney Cruise Forum about the Exotic Rasul and how my spouse and I thought it was hysterical that something as chaste as Disney would list a price for three people. So my spouse and I both ran with it and decided ourselves and the voices in our head would go in. It is called sarcasm, role-playing...innocent fun. Shocking I know.

Nice of someone to bring up a post somewhere else though that has nothing to do with an innocent day with a friend.

That is part of my point for posting this as well. I know two women who have a regular lunch date. They do go shopping together every week. No one bats an eye. However there are some who think because two people of the opposite sex due this that something torrid must be going on. Or sorry "Emotional".

Parents who stay home do have a life when the kids are in school!

That is not what you said on that thread. So you conveniently leave out pertinent details. I call

 

[MinnieLovesMickey12]

No, my husband and I would not be comfortable with that, nor would either one of us be interested in a friendship like that.

We wouldn't want to put ourselves in the position for rumors to be started, nor would we want to be spending so much time with a member of the opposite sex alone that we start confiding a lot and creating "emotional intimacy."

We enjoy hanging out with other couples, or just the husband/wife of a couple if a member is out of town. If something came up like a friend's wife called us with an extra concert ticket and only my husband could go, that'd be totally fine...it just wouldn't be a common thing we would be interested in.

For us, it's not a matter of trusting each other (we have 100% trust)...we have just decided to have a marriage where the only member of the opposite sex that we are very close to and confide in is each other. And we love it that way.

I agree with this. I trust my husband 100% but there is no way I want him spending quality bonding time with a member of the opposite sex. If he needs someone to hang out with I am available. And I also doubt he would want me shopping and going out to eat with another man. That has the appearance of dating to me.

We just wouldn't ever put ourselves in a situation like that.

That is exactly how affairs happen. You just start out as friends, then you bond emotionally and start confiding in each other, then things lead to other things and before you know it you are cheating on your spouse.

No thank you.

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

I agree with this. I trust my husband 100% but there is no way I want him spending quality bonding time with a member of the opposite sex. If he needs someone to hang out with I am available.

This is the definition of not trusting your husband.

 

[snapppyd]

I agree with this. I trust my husband 100% but there is no way I want him spending quality bonding time with a member of the opposite sex. If he needs someone to hang out with I am available. And I also doubt he would want me shopping and going out to eat with another man. That has the appearance of dating to me.

We just wouldn't ever put ourselves in a situation like that.

That is exactly how affairs happen. You just start out as friends, then you bond emotionally and start confiding in each other, then things lead to other things and before you know it you are cheating on your spouse.

No thank you.

But now she is hinting that the spouses are not of the opposite sex.

OOhh, look at the cute little tro....um.....clown

 

[MagicallyDelicious]

I agree with this. I trust my husband 100% but there is no way I want him spending quality bonding time with a member of the opposite sex. If he needs someone to hang out with I am available.

This is the definition of not trusting your husband.

Then I guess I don't trust my (current) husband either, and if this is the definition, then I'm perfectly fine with him not trusting me either.

My ex-husband had a very destructive emotional affair with someone he met through work. It took me years to regain trust in him. He repaid me by having a full-blown affair two years later, with another woman he "bonded" with through work.

 

[LisaR]

No one from the church goes to Costco, only OP and their friend? I attend a church, that's 15 miles from my house. I run into folks, all around town..

One assumes the whole town isn't full of gossips, right? So now she would need to run into the town gossip 25 miles away from home in the middle of a weekday when most are at work or home with kids. I'd say the chances are certainly not impossible, but very unlikely.

My guess is this poster does a lot of talking and/or flaunting this relationship in real life just as she does online.

 

[bdcp]

This is the definition of not trusting your husband.

No, it's not. It's called protecting the marriage.

Blind trust can get you into a heck of a lot of trouble. I trust my DH, but that trust would be sorely tested if he wanted to spend time with another woman instead of me.

I was a stay at home mom too for 14 years and I spent time with different friends, in kids playgroups, volunteered at school, church, etc, but never felt the need to find a male friend to hang with.

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

No, it's not. It's called protecting the marriage.

Blind trust can get you into a heck of a lot of trouble. I trust my DH, but that trust would be sorely tested if he wanted to spend time with another woman instead of me.

Yeah, okay, good for you.

 

[snapppyd]

Wow, score one for the OP - goal accomplished. She has you fighting amongst yourselves

 

[Candleinthewind]

My guess is this poster does a lot of talking and/or flaunting this relationship in real life just as she does online.

Your guess would be wrong as I am not a she and my friend is. She is the one who goes to bible study, not I. I am a he. There is zero attachment. Why would someone spend time with a friend during the day when one husband is at work and one wife works out of town? I don't know, maybe one loves having adult conversations. And by adult I don't mean illicit, I mean having to do with things besides what one talks with their children.

Both of our spouses (hers and mine) are quite aware of our weekly outtings, there is no sneaking around. We watch each others' kids, we go out on date nights together without the kids. When we all go out as two families. We request a separate table for the kids when possible.

They are taking all of the kids with them to WDW this fall, we are taking their entire family on a cruise next April.

This thread was not pot stirring, it was a commentary on the assumption that people of the opposite sex cannot be friends. I understand and wanted to know after the comment she got at Bible Study how the DIS felt. We have other friends who see no problem with our friendship.

She has always had better friends that are male and I have had better friendships with females. As I mentioned before, at our wedding, my spouse had a Man of Honor and I had a best woman standing beside us at the alter.

And yes, I talk about our relationship with other people. I was commenting on it today with my housekeeper who saw nothing wrong with it. Then again there I am sure people who saw two women coming into my house early on a Friday morning with no kids at home and me home alone might assume something is going on as her car is not marked up in any way to indicate she is a housekeeper.

 

[bdcp]

Yeah, okay, good for you.

Why does that bother you so much?

Do you want your spouse to spend time with someone else instead of you? I don't get your response.

I think some people have the wrong definition of "trust" in their head.

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

Why does that bother you so much?

It doesn't bother me at all. I just think it's funny.

 

[Candleinthewind]

I was a stay at home mom too for 14 years and I spent time with different friends, in kids playgroups, volunteered at school, church, etc, but never felt the need to find a male friend to hang with.

As a stay at home dad, the people I am going to find at home are going to be females in most cases!