Is this tacky for a bridal shower? *UPDATE* page 6

[laurajetter]

My younger sister will be getting married in the spring and I am her matron of honor. I was under the impression that I would probably be the one to organize the bridal shower. There was even a time months ago when the subject of the shower came up between me and my mom and she had mentioned that she could help out with cost, I was telling her about some decoration ideas I had, etc.

It’s been quite a while since we had that brief, casual conversation and just now my mom texted me saying she’s thinking of having the shower at Pizza Hut because they have a package deal for 30 people that includes pizza, salad and sodas, and she would order a cake from a local bakery. My first thought was, “Seriously, Pizza Hut?!” Don’t get me wrong, I love Pizza Hut, and certain parties are appropriate there, but I had pictured having it at a private location with some pretty spring decorations, food, gift unwrapping… maybe a non-cheesy game or two (something easy and not over-involved, to get everyone comfortable). Now, according to my mom’s vision, all of that goes out the window to have it at Pizza Hut. Was she thinking she’d open gifts there too? I have no idea, but that just seems a little weird to me.

I texted her back saying (in a kind sort of a way) that I thought the maid/matron of honor was usually the one to plan the shower and that bridal showers are usually held at a place where it’s more private and can be decorated. I asked her if we could maybe work on it together because I didn’t think Pizza Hut was the best place for something as memorable as a bridal shower.

She did seem open to talking about it further, but she then suggested that we still have it initially at Pizza Hut then go back to her house (a 10 minute drive) for dessert and to open presents. Still not my preference, but I don’t know if I should just go with it to avoid hard feelings.

I’m wondering what the general public’s reaction is to having a bridal shower meal at Pizza Hut, then having to drive to another location for the rest of the party… Is it cumbersome and slightly strange or am I overthinking it and you wouldn’t think there’s anything wrong with it?

Edited to add: The main issue I'm concerned about is having it at Pizza Hut vs. a private location. Although I slightly feel like she's stepped on my toes a tad I'm really not one to get miffed about stuff like that... I'm fine planning it with her I just was really hoping to stick to the vision I had in my head and just find other ways of making it more economical.

 

[Christine]

Well, everybody has their own level of what's normal. Where I live, no matter what your income level, I think Pizza Hut would be a strange place for a bridal shower. So, I'm with you.

I also guess that everyone has different relationships. I'd personally be very firm and open with my mother about what a bad idea I thought it was. Now, I wouldn't be cruel, but I would not mince words on this.

Traditionally, yes, the Matron of Honor plans these things, but nothing really goes by tradition anymore.

It is hopefully your sister's one and only bridal shower and I think you should do what you can to make it nice. If cost is seriously an issue, then that's one thing and looking at bargains might be the way to go. But it doesn't sound like that's your issue here.

 

[Liberty Belle]

It's a bit weird, but if you can go to your mom's afterwards (where you decorate in pretty colors, etc), I think it would be ok. Wouldn't be my first choice, but if I were invited to it, I wouldn't think "tacky," I'd just enjoy the pizza and conversation. Now, if your mom's house is more than 10 minutes away, I wouldn't do it.

 

[Hikergirl]

If she is open to having everyone come back to her house, why not just have it there in the first place? If she wants pizza as the food she can have it delivered. You can do that relatively inexpensive with decorations and other types of food, doesn't have to be a meal could just be apps, or cake and tea etc.
If I got an invite for a bridal shower at Pizza Hut and then dessert at another location I'd probably decline. I don't think its tacky but I just don't get the bridal shower venue vibe from a Pizza Hut restautant.

 

[NJlauren]

I am really interested to hear what other people have to say.....

My opinion nix the Pizza Hut idea and quick! If it was my friend I would still go but I would certainly be taken-aback to an invitation to a bridal shower at Pizza Hut!

Is it possible to do pizza, cake and desert at your moms house for the shower? You don't need to go over the top but if you we're going back there for desert why not have the whole thing there?

I have been to everything from in the basement at someone's home to this was practically a wedding bridal/baby showers but Pizza Hut is a first.

 

[donac]

My nephew's shower was at a bowling alley so after hearing that Pizza Hut sounds like a good idea.

 

[design_mom]

I have personally never been to a bridal shower that requires a location change in the middle. I don't think I'd call it "tacky" but I would definitely find it odd and I think it would be inconvenient for your guests.

Showers in restaurants and party rooms are just becoming a thing here. Until recently, most were held in private homes. I have never heard of one being hosted at a Pizza Hut, so that would be a little unusual.

You said that you had some ideas and your mom was willing to help out financially. I wonder if she's trying to find something within her budget? Perhaps she's trying to avoid an uncomfortable situation if she can afford Pizza Hut, but she's afraid you're going to book a fancy tea room for three times the price? It is very hard to say "What's you've picked is very nice, but I can't afford that." Much easier to suggest something in the first place.

1) Maybe you could have the whole thing at your mom's house and use the Pizza Hut budget to cater in some food.
2) Maybe you can find something at a similar budget point that's more to your liking -- or at least sit down with your mom and find out how much she's willing to contribute, so you know the budget you're dealing with or what you'll need to be prepared to pick up yourself?
3) Maybe you could talk to your sister and see how she feels about pizza at her bridal shower? If she's OK with it, maybe you can decorate the tables nicely and still have a nice shower there?

 

[Nancyg56]

I would probably veto that idea. If Mom really wants something simple, and inexpensive, and is open to invite people for dessert and coffee at her home, I would just go there and call it a day. You could have little finger sandwiches and punch, and dessert and coffee.

 

[firecracker725]

I personally think you should ask the bride her preferences on all this. I'm no snob, but there is no way in heck I'd let someone plan my wedding shower at a Pizza Hut. My MIL threw me a lovely shower and had (among other items) a couple of large Chickfila nugget trays, but they were placed on a nice table with linens and flowers. Nice and classy can be affordable.

 

[HulaHoopy]

I wouldn't go if I was invited to a shower where I had to change venues. Why not just have the whole thing at the house?

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

I think it's odd and would most likely not go, mainly because of the change in venues but I would definitely veto pizza hut. I have to agree with the PPs, why not just have it at her house and you could even order the pizza there if pizza is a necessity.

 

[gotomu212]

Ummmm I'll be blunt and say I would think it was really really weird for a bridal shower venue. If it was a mixed jack and Jill shower (where you invite guys and girls) maybe not. I think the noise and atmosphere of a Pizza Hut isn't what you would normally associate with a shower (I would go to a birthday party there in an instant though).

I don't think there's anything wrong with having pizza at a shower though so catering it in to your moms house might b a good option.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

I think a bride would be disappointed to have her shower at Pizza Hut.

 

[diznygirl]

I agree that if you were going to change venues, pizza at your mom's would just be easier. But I would also say no to pizza! Quick call around to your local grocery store/delis and see if you can get a sandwich platter or other food for about the same price or a little more. Or find the venue you'd like and price that out. You need to talk to your mom with an idea in mind, or she will steamroll ahead with her idea.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

I would think it was tacky to change locations. As for Pizza Hut, if the bride is fine with it then who the heck cares?

 

[laurajetter]

An explanation to answer a lot of people's questions regarding why, if she's willing to have people come to her house afterwards, would she not have it there to begin with: She initially proposed to have the entire thing at Pizza Hut with a cake she brings in. I told her I didn't think Pizza Hut was a good idea for something like this, that a private residence with decorations, etc. would be a much better choice and I suggested that the bridesmaids could even help defray costs by each bringing a dish. She initially agreed to have us talk tonight about it, and shortly after is when she offered (what I see as a compromise of our ideas) to come back for desserts after Pizza Hut; this was only offered because I had resisted her initial suggestion.

I have a feeling the pizza deal she found is only if you eat in, so having pizza at her house would be defeating the point of the package deal (in her eyes). She also mentioned that if we have it at her house that she'd have to so much to do to clean up (this point however would be null and void if we come there afterwards, anyway). Her house on normal days is a bit cluttered so the task of cleaning every nook and cranny is probably overwhelming to think about.

I think that another part of this is that whenever she's hosted things like this she seems to go way over and above what one would expect her to do... In the past she's made more dishes than necessary, and each one is from scratch, sometimes using ingredients that don't need to be as fancy/expensive as she's made (crab dip, shrimp salad, etc.). She had my sister later in life and is getting older so I think she's at a point of wanting to make things easier on herself. She would usually be so exhausted before the party even started and maybe she's thinking she doesn't want it to get to that point again.

I'm going to talk to her tonight and assure her she doesn't have to hand-cater it with the best dishes... a few hors d'oeuvres and small dishes with maybe one dessert will suffice. I'll offer to greatly help her with preparing the house and food and I'll take care of the decorations. I'm glad I posted here because it seems apparent that this Pizza Hut thing *is* slightly strange so I will do my best to change her mind! Thanks for all the input so far, and feel free to continue commenting if you'd like!

 

[laurajetter]

You need to talk to your mom with an idea in mind, or she will steamroll ahead with her idea.

I completely agree! I'm so antsy to just call her right now to tell her all the reasons I don't think we should do it but I'm refraining so I can get all my ducks in a row and make logical suggestions that will hopefully stay within her Pizza Hut budget, haha!

 

[morgan98]

Not to open a whole other can of worms, but I agree that you as the Matron of Honor, with the rest of the bridal party should be hosting the shower. I also agree with everyone else that I do not really consider Pizza Hut to be a venue to host a bridal shower.

I think you and the bridal party should get together to determine a budget and determine a budget and what you want to spend.

 

[Kellykins1218]

Almost every bridal shower I've ever been to has been given by the mom. I've been to several at a local chicken restaurant so Pizza Hut wouldn't seem strange lol.

 

[aejammers]

Have you priced out any restaurants in your area that have a private party room? You may be surprised how economical they could be, especially if you have it mid afternoon and not during a meal hour.