Is this punishment too harsh?

[melissapealo]

I didnt say its what i would do i said i thought it was an apt punishment for the "crime" and that apparently makes me, the OP and anyone else who agreed in the "authoritarian parent" group when thats not the case. no you may not have said that but others did and here were a lot of assumptions about what kinds of parents we must be and none of them were favorable

But the only thing that really matters is this young man has stepped up to the challenge and shown a maturity the OP didnt realize he had. So alls well that ends well

I agree that some jumped to assumptions on types of parenting. I certainly think he should be held responsible for replacing or repairing (since the op said that could probably happen) the tv.
It sounds like he is handling the responsibility and I agree thats what matters most. I'm sure he'll think twice before doing something like this in the future.

 

[badblackpug]

Op,
I think the punishment was perfect. If you break something while improperly using it or disobeying then you pay to repair/replace it. If it was purely an accident, then no harm no foul. That is appropriate for a child.

If you are an adult you pay to repair something whether it is an accident, or not.

Reparing/replacing the TV is his responsibility for breaking it. The not getting a brand new TV is his punishment for moving the TV when he wasn't supposed to.

The thing that occurred to me after reading your OP.... Why didn't he just move the game? It's so much easier and smaller. ahhhhh...... kids!



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Please show me where I, or anyone else who thinks that the punishment is too harsh, say that they boy should not be held responsible for his actions.

I happen not to believe in the iron-fisted, eye-for-an-eye, "I'm a meaner parent than anyone and damn proud of it!" style of parenting that seems to be popular here on the DIS. I think you can teach life lessons, have consequences for actions and hold children responsible and accountable without bringing the hammer down on them all the time. The anecdote that the OP shared about the vacuum cleaner and the garage door and the fear that her son felt this morning thinking that he accidentally broke something else expensive (and she laughed about ... ha, ha, ha "I think the poor kid almost peed himself while he waited for me to see if the vacuum was okay") is telling. And not in a good way.

It's odd, because I have the opposite perspective. I find the majority of parents to be way too easy on their kids. I see more of a "don't hurt their feelings" attitude.

I actually had this discussion at work last week. I had a patient whose sister had come in to see her. With the sister was her teen daughter (probably about 15 or 16) the teen daughter was arguing with the mother about not being allowed to go out the next night (a Saturday) The mother told her, well you went out tonight, and you can go out Sunday but Saturday is out, that's your punishment. She explained to the patient that the daughter had skipped school and forged an excuse note and got caught. The teen looked at me and said "do you think that is fair?" I laughed and told her she was lucky she didn't live in my house because she would be in for at least a month, without the phone she was steady texting on.

I don't think being easy on kids and worrying about their feelings is going to help them at all in adulthood. The real world isn't going to take it easy on them. As adults it is our job to help them grow into responsible adults.

 

[horseshowmom]

It's odd, because I have the opposite perspective. I find the majority of parents to be way too easy on their kids. I see more of a "don't hurt their feelings" attitude.

I actually had this discussion at work last week. I had a patient whose sister had come in to see her. With the sister was her teen daughter (probably about 15 or 16) the teen daughter was arguing with the mother about not being allowed to go out the next night (a Saturday) The mother told her, well you went out tonight, and you can go out Sunday but Saturday is out, that's your punishment. She explained to the patient that the daughter had skipped school and forged an excuse note and got caught. The teen looked at me and said "do you think that is fair?" I laughed and told her she was lucky she didn't live in my house because she would be in for at least a month, without the phone she was steady texting on.

I don't think being easy on kids and worrying about their feelings is going to help them at all in adulthood. The real world isn't going to take it easy on them. As adults it is our job to help them grow into responsible adults.

I agree completely (and I'm with you, she would definitely have had more punishment than staying in one night out of the 3 mentioned).

 

[kellyg403]

I agree completely (and I'm with you, she would definitely have had more punishment than staying in one night out of the 3 mentioned).

 

[peanut1967]

I dont think its too harsh at all in fact if he was my son he would not be getting a TV for his bedroom new or broken.

you laid the rules out he broke them - now comes the consequence. Its representing real world, you do something wrong you get a consequence and it wont be something you like, and yes he should pay the whole $300 even it the tv is still usable, do this now and he will know you mean business and it may prevent any further issues.

I am a great believer in tough love and dont think there is enough of it around. I have lots of fun with my kids but they know I am Mum and that if they do wrong there is a consequence, I also dont threaten something that I am not able to carry out.

Your doing a great job

Angie