Is this child abuse/neglect and...

[Wishing on a star]

What are the laws in your State....

Is 12 years old considered adequate supervision, or could that be considered neglect?

I would call for an immediate wellness check when you know that this child's parents are gone, and that they are not being fed, etc...

One can only hope that Children's Services will take stronger action this time. Unfortunately, if nobody calls, this will continue to fall thru the cracks.

I think you know what you have to do.

Would this be possible for you?

Report it with your 'neighbor' status and not 'mandated reporter'. Give you info, but ask that it be kept anonymous.

 

[pilesoflaundry]

If she was just tiny and had the dark circles I would think nothing of it. Some kids are just that way.

Everything else you said...I would call in a heartbeat.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Me again,

I have a neighbor up around the block, the son is my DS' good friend...

She is in a similar position with another neighborhood family.
It is not that the kid is being neglected. But, he is now an at-risk teen who is showing some serious behavior/psych problems that his parents simply have no capacity to handle.

This teen has been 'left at her house', for hours at a time on a very regular basis... I have actually been concerned about letting my son go up there, because, low and behold, this 15 year old troubled teen would be around, and could possibly get aggressive. Anyhow, Last time he 'lost it' at her house, she finally had to tell her friends that their son could no longer be at her home. It is heartbreaking when serious problems like this affect your life. And, you are just a neighbor!

I told her that she did the right thing, because really, they need to reach whatever crisis point necessary for either the authorities to become involved, or for the parents to pretty much forced to take their 15 year old son for some serious (possible in-patient) help. And, this was not going to happen if she was continuing to enable the situation.

 

[klacey1]

Call. It'll be annonymas. It's wonderful that you're trying to help this little girl, but you're right-- she's NOT your child and it's not your responsibility to clothe/feed her.

 

[C.Ann]

It you are in fact a mandatory reporter, you are breaking the law by not reporting it.. Do what you are required to do..

 

[Disneylover79]

If you have any question in your mind then please call DCF right away

 

[Mermaid02]

If all the adults in your neighborhood are so afraid of these parents- think of what it must be like to be one of those children. If they are as unstable as you say, I'm sure the situation in the home is much worse than you even think.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

...what would you do?

Sorry, this might be kind of long. First I want to start out by saying I think this is definately neglect (if not abuse) but since I'm close to the situation I want to be sure I'm not just mad at these people.

The child is 5. She is very skinny and sickly looking all the time. She has a chronic cough, black circles under her eyes, bad teeth and an all around unhealthy look. I don't know if she has some sort of health problem because her parents do not take her to the doctors.

Her mom lives in the house about 1/3 of the week. Her dad works long hours. She stays mostly with her 12 year old sister.

There have been MANY times when she comes to my house to play with DD and when it is time for her to go home, there is nobody at her house. The parents ALWAYS blame the 12yo, saying she was supossed to be home. When this happens we usually dress her in DD's clothes and shoes (which are too big) and bring her with us. She is never dressed appropriately for the weather.

On the weekends she eats all of her meals at our house. I honestly don't know if she has dinner on weeknights or not. She lies and is very manipulative, and definately has problems due to her family life.

I also suspect at least the mom of drug use.

I'm pretty sure they have been reported to DCF before, the whole neighborhood apparently pretty much watched because the police escorted the social worker to the house. Not sure who reported, maybe the school. Things got slighty better right after this, but now they are right back to where they were.

I'm a mandatory reporter. But I am VERY afraid to report these parents because they have retaliated against other neighbors for dumb little things with violence and property damage. The victims were afraid to report this to the police.

This might sound bad (selfish), but I'm exhausted from trying to almost raise this little girl. I wanted 1 kid, now it seems like I have 2 (and 1 with big problems). It's affecting the quality of my life with my own family. What would you do?

I think this answers your question.

I don't think there is any wiggle room in the word "mandatory."

 

[Deb in IA]

I believe that you are a mandated reported only when you have a professional relationship with the family.

This is true.

You are NOT a mandatory reporter if all you are is a neighbor to the child.

However, if you are a teacher, day care provider, babysitter, therapist, nurse or doctor to this child, then you are REQUIRED by law to report any suspected abuse.

And you can be proscuted for NOT reporting.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Because I will be required to give my name or it will be considered the same as not reporting it. I've checked. As bad as I feel for this girl, my #1 priority is the safety of my own family. I've seen these people ram their car on purpose into a neighbors car because she didn't like what someone said about her. I've seen them hide in the woods with baseball bats waiting for another neighbor that "dissed" their 12 year old. The victims have refused to call the police because they are afraid. And unfortunately with the housing market the way it is...nobody can just move away.

Florida law requires EVERY ADULT to be a mandatory reporter. If you are in a profession that will cause you to lose your license or position by NOT reporting, that is in addition to the Florida requirement for ALL ADULTS to report the SUSPECTED, abuse, neglect or exploitation of a child or vulerable adult.

If you are afraid for whatever reason to do it yourself, then have someone else do it, or simply report it anonymously. Better to do that then ignore the situation.

Call the DA's office, or the office of the Attorney General which has the authority to investigate and arrest in these sorts of situations.

I mean, really? What's the alternative? The kid ends up dead somewhere? Not so sure you could live with that.

 

[Deb in IA]

I hope the OP comes back and updates us on this situation.

 

[wvjules]

Because I will be required to give my name or it will be considered the same as not reporting it. I've checked. As bad as I feel for this girl, my #1 priority is the safety of my own family. I've seen these people ram their car on purpose into a neighbors car because she didn't like what someone said about her. I've seen them hide in the woods with baseball bats waiting for another neighbor that "dissed" their 12 year old. The victims have refused to call the police because they are afraid. And unfortunately with the housing market the way it is...nobody can just move away.

So you are a mandated reporter so you can't report it anonomously or else it isn't counted as reporting so the other option you choose is not reporting it? Seems a little confusing to me. If you report it anon. it doesn't count. However if you don't report it it doesn't count either. Report it already!

 

[Sparx]

They will never know you reported. Your name is given to the Case Worker at Central Intake. He or she will take your information, and your concerns and he or she will rate the importance of this case, and then the case will be assigned to a local case worker who will respond to the scene within a certain amount of time. The caseworker would never tell the parents who reported them. All reports are confidential.

It sounds like neglect (if there are no drugs found) and the child probably won't be removed unless there is something much more serious going on. You're doing her a favor.

 

[walden]

To the OP:

Report it! Now! From your description here you "have reasonable cause to believe" that this is a neglect/abuse case. You know that, or you would not have asked.

Yes, the name of the reporter is always kept confidential. As a Mandated Reporter in the State of Florida, you should also already know that.

I think that the fear of retaliation is real for many people. Seriously, sometimes you just have to step up for the sake of the child. It is incredibly sad that many cases of appalling abuse go unreported for just these reasons. I could not live with myself if I saw and could describe a situation like this and failed to report.

 

[happygirl]

Hi,Op just looking for an update

 

[tmarquez]

OP here.

Just an FYI for some that have given misinformation here. I got with my boss after reading some of the posts. She had to get with her boss...who had to check with someone else. In my job I am a mandatory reporter (we get no training on this, we are just told we are). It is only mandatory if the abuse/neglect is witnessed at work. Not every adult in FL is a mandatory reporter. While it may be morally the right thing to do, a regular private citizen cannot be charged for not reporting something unless they are classified as mandatory reporters according to their job.

That being said...I reported it all annonymously and hope it stays that way.

I do know of a person (in another FL county) who reported neglect and the caseworker DID tell who reported them. The caseworker got fired, but it doesn't matter, the damage was already done. Luckily nothing too out of control happened with them.

I'm still not sure this is an abuse/neglect case or if I'm just mad at the people because they don't take care of their kids the way I think kids should be taken care of and they take advantage of our family at the same time. But as someone pointed out...it's the state's job to decide, not mine.

Someone also said they wouldn't let their kid play with the little girl in question because she could be corrupting my DD. This is just an example of how we all raise our kids differently. They are best friends and have been for over a year, they live next door to each other, I wouldn't do that to either of them (unless there really was some bad corruption going on).

As I was completeing the report it became apparent from the questions/answers that this probably isn't a case where there is much that can/will be done. The child is fed and clothed (if not by the parents then by me). She isn't beaten or abused like that. I doubt they will find drugs (or even the mother at home) when and if they make a visit.

Anyway...we'll see. Thanks everyone for your input...it's one of the reasons I love the DIS!

 

[wvjules]

OP here.

Just an FYI for some that have given misinformation here. I got with my boss after reading some of the posts. She had to get with her boss...who had to check with someone else. In my job I am a mandatory reporter (we get no training on this, we are just told we are). It is only mandatory if the abuse/neglect is witnessed at work. Not every adult in FL is a mandatory reporter. While it may be morally the right thing to do, a regular private citizen cannot be charged for not reporting something unless they are classified as mandatory reporters according to their job.

That being said...I reported it all annonymously and hope it stays that way.

I do know of a person (in another FL county) who reported neglect and the caseworker DID tell who reported them. The caseworker got fired, but it doesn't matter, the damage was already done. Luckily nothing too out of control happened with them.

I'm still not sure this is an abuse/neglect case or if I'm just mad at the people because they don't take care of their kids the way I think kids should be taken care of and they take advantage of our family at the same time. But as someone pointed out...it's the state's job to decide, not mine.

Someone also said they wouldn't let their kid play with the little girl in question because she could be corrupting my DD. This is just an example of how we all raise our kids differently. They are best friends and have been for over a year, they live next door to each other, I wouldn't do that to either of them (unless there really was some bad corruption going on).

As I was completeing the report it became apparent from the questions/answers that this probably isn't a case where there is much that can/will be done. The child is fed and clothed (if not by the parents then by me). She isn't beaten or abused like that. I doubt they will find drugs (or even the mother at home) when and if they make a visit.

Anyway...we'll see. Thanks everyone for your input...it's one of the reasons I love the DIS!

How do you know that?

It sounds to me like the child is neglected. Honestly, I hope the mother isn't at home when they make their visit.

 

[tmarquez]

How do you know that?

Well I guess I should say that she never has any marks or bruises that would signal that (and yes...I've seen her everywhere quite often, she swims at our house and I have to help her with her bathing suit).

 

[happygirl]

I think it sounded like to abuse, Chronic cough dark bags under her eyes. Eating at your house everyday. that to me says her parents aren't feeding her.

 

[karibritt01]

I think it sounded like to abuse, Chronic cough dark bags under her eyes. Eating at your house everyday. that to me says her parents aren't feeding her.

Hard to say... my DD7 has chronic cough and bags under her eyes from asthma, and she eats all day, every day. (Though you wouldn't know it because she is thin as a rail and 45 pounds soaking wet.)

OP... glad you reported it. Continue to do your best with the child when she is at your house, and trust in the state to do the best they can for her otherwise.