Is this child abuse/neglect and...

[karibritt01]

She has a chronic cough, black circles under her eyes

This sounds like asthma, FYI.

I'm a mandatory reporter.

Then I'm not quite sure why you haven't reported it. You are obligated to report it, and you HAVE to do it. In our state, the complaintant is always kept confidential. They may suspect who may have called, but the agencies are required by law to keep it confidential. At any rate, you can refuse to give your name, and that would take care of the issue.

If they have been reported in the past and the situation is like you describe, wouldn't they be in the system already? If its failing them now, what good would reporting them again do? I'm not saying don't but it sounds like doing it may not really change anything.

It would depend on what exactly the complaint was for. It could have been something like bruises reported, complaint was found invalid, and case was dropped. In instances like that, DCFS would not be obligated to keep tabs on the family. I know this because we were reported for bruises on my son when he was in kindergarten. He had a bike accident that resulted in a black eye and multiple bruises on his arms and back. Luckily for us, it happened on a Saturday afternoon with about 10 neighbors outside to witness it, no was dropped immediately.

 

[tmarquez]

Then I'm not quite sure why you haven't reported it. You are obligated to report it, and you HAVE to do it. In our state, the complaintant is always kept confidential. They may suspect who may have called, but the agencies are required by law to keep it confidential. At any rate, you can refuse to give your name, and that would take care of the issue.

Because I will be required to give my name or it will be considered the same as not reporting it. I've checked. As bad as I feel for this girl, my #1 priority is the safety of my own family. I've seen these people ram their car on purpose into a neighbors car because she didn't like what someone said about her. I've seen them hide in the woods with baseball bats waiting for another neighbor that "dissed" their 12 year old. The victims have refused to call the police because they are afraid. And unfortunately with the housing market the way it is...nobody can just move away.

 

[scrapquitler]

If you are a mandated reporter, you cannot report something anonymously. I too, am a mandated reporter.

In this case, I think that I would indeed report this family.

 

[karibritt01]

What about having your DH report it anonymously?

According to the Florida Abuse Hotline website:

All reports are confidential. Access to these reports is limited by specific criteria in Chapters 39 and 415 of the Florida Statutes (F.S.).
Florida Abuse Hotline Counselors will not acknowledge the existence of any report, will not acknowledge that they have previously spoken to a particular caller, nor will they release any information provided by a caller or any information contained in a report.

 

[brockash]

I would call. I would rather be safe then sorry

I agree to call. I know it might be hard if the parents are basically bullying all the neighbors around, but the only way to not let the neglectful parents "win," is to stand up to them and do what you know is right. Think about if it was your dd (I know you'd never put your dd in that situation, nor would I with my kids,) but I always say that if were neglectful/abusive or anything else, I'd want someone to help my child and do what was right for him/her.

 

[WeLoveLilo05]

Can't you report anonymously? The family doesn't have the right to know who reported them.

In any case--it is not up to us to determine if it is abuse/neglect--but it does sound like it could be and I would report it.

I agree, it sounds like the only meals that this child may be getting are the ones that you are serving.
And a 12 yr old should not take responsibility of a 5 yr old.
GL. I know someone who has gone through a VERY similar situation, has 3 kids of her own and then had to take on 2 neighborhood kids b/c of substance abuse. My friend felt the same way you did, bad for the kids but also was tired of watching and feeding 2 other kids. The mom of these 2 kids is getting help, things are getting better and I hope it stays that way.

 

[brockash]

Because I will be required to give my name or it will be considered the same as not reporting it. I've checked. As bad as I feel for this girl, my #1 priority is the safety of my own family. I've seen these people ram their car on purpose into a neighbors car because she didn't like what someone said about her. I've seen them hide in the woods with baseball bats waiting for another neighbor that "dissed" their 12 year old. The victims have refused to call the police because they are afraid. And unfortunately with the housing market the way it is...nobody can just move away.

Yes, but the only way to stop this is to not let them bully all of you around. I'm not saying it'll be easy, but honestly ALL of you in the neighborhood are ALLOWING them to behave like this. You can't control what they do, but you can control how you react. If they ram your car...REPORT IT, if they're waiting in the woods with bats...CALL THE POLICE. I know you have to think of your family, but really what is it teaching your family if all they see is everyone around them allowing these neighbors to bully them. You have to stand up and do something- that's the only chance you'll have on getting something to change. Not to mention the fact that if a bunch of adults are scared of these ppl., what on earth must the neglected, at best, 5 year old be thinking/feeling. I know it won't be a fun time in your life, but you really do need to report it, and then report any other crime you see as well.

 

[Holly]

You are a mandated reporter.


There's your answer.

 

[Robinrs]

You are a mandated reporter.


There's your answer.

Amen. You have to. Please let us know what happens.

 

[merrily]

I believe that you are a mandated reported only when you have a professional relationship with the family. This is not the case here. You are a neighbor. In that case, while everyone has an obligation to report abuse or neglect, you are not mandated. Your name should be held in confidence. When you call to make the report, don't identify yourself in your professional capacity, just as a regular private citizen.

I am a mandated reporter. I have made reports in my professional capacity where the families know I have reported them (told family myself or gave permission to DCYF to share name with family.) I have also reported as a private citizen. I shared my name with DCYF but it was never shared with the family.

I think you already know what you need to do.

 

[JerseyJanice]

I’m going to sound like the heartless one here, but I wouldn’t even allow this child to play with mine.

Baseball bats? Ramming car? These people sound dangerous, and even if the child seems well-behaved (although you did say that she lies and manipulates), I wouldn’t be comfortable with my child being in her company.

My child and his safety are my most important considerations. If this child is being treated as poorly at it sounds, she could be exposing your DD to things that she may not be ready for. I think you're asking for trouble by allowing this child in your home.

 

[Bren's Mom]

I agree. My dh is a mandated reporter in his official job capacity, not as anyone's neighbor. If he doesn't see it when he's working, he's not obligated to report it. Would he? Yes. And I think you should too. Report it with your 'neighbor' status and not 'mandated reporter'. Give you info, but ask that it be kept anonymous.

 

[jodifla]

Yes, but the only way to stop this is to not let them bully all of you around. I'm not saying it'll be easy, but honestly ALL of you in the neighborhood are ALLOWING them to behave like this. You can't control what they do, but you can control how you react. If they ram your car...REPORT IT, if they're waiting in the woods with bats...CALL THE POLICE. I know you have to think of your family, but really what is it teaching your family if all they see is everyone around them allowing these neighbors to bully them. You have to stand up and do something- that's the only chance you'll have on getting something to change. Not to mention the fact that if a bunch of adults are scared of these ppl., what on earth must the neglected, at best, 5 year old be thinking/feeling. I know it won't be a fun time in your life, but you really do need to report it, and then report any other crime you see as well.

Exactly! The whole neighborhood has to stand up to these people. They'd be out of my neighborhood in a heartbeat.

 

[bettymae1121]

Let's put it another way. If you don't call and something horible happens (god forbid!) how would you feel then? You'd be sick over the fact that you didn't at least try by calling, I'm sure. I know you're afraid of the family (and from what it sounds like, for good reason) and I don't blame you for hesitating, but at the end of the day, I think you should call.

 

[Tiggernut_jadie]

I'm actually concerned - perhaps even a bit disgusted tbh - that a mandated reporter has to ask if they should report possible child abuse.

Pick up the phone for goodness sake...What is there to ask?

 

[LuvLDM]

I agree w/ everyone else, call. It just may be the kindest thing you can do for this child.
Very sad circumstances, she is lucky to have a neighbor who cares enough to be concerned about her home life.

 

[lustergirl]

I have a tragic story. In a small town south of here in Buffalo a mother and half brother killed a young woman who they abused for years recently. She suffered from mental retardation and it appears the only thing they kept her around for is her check that came every month. Now this happened in a very small town where everyone knew everyone and the neighbors expected abuse but never reported it until it was too late. The mother and brother are now in jail because they killed her. Just about a week ago this small town held a candlelight vigil for her- what a joke. Where were they before this? By all means call!!

 

[pigletgirl]

Oh my -- just like everyone else, please do that little girl a favor and call!

That is so heartbreaking to hear.

 

[LeeLee'sMom]

You need to call, it will possibly save/improve her life.

 

[Scurvy]

That poor little girl. You need to call. Someone needs to help her. If you won't, then who will?