Is this becoming widely accepted

[sam_gordon]

It doesn't matter who sent it out. The host of the party should not be requesting any type of gift. If someone invited to the shower/wedding called the host and asked for suggestions than that would be the time to bring up the request for money or to direct them to a registry.

But to me it DOES matter. I don't understand why the bride & groom should be "blamed" when they weren't the ones responsible for the invitation (presumably). Then again, it's been so long since I've been a part of the "wedding" scene, maybe I'm off base.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

I looked up some wedding etiquette. According to the Emily Post Etiquette Institute, it is perfectly acceptable to distribute gift preferences, whatever they are, by word of mouth or with an insert tucked into a shower invitation. Said insert should never be put in with a wedding invitation, however. Including such in the invitation is bad form and puts too much emphasis on the gift rather than please attend our wedding.

Technically, you are never supposed to expect a gift.

Shower. Showers aren't called gift showers much any more. But that is what they are. Their purpose is gifts. If you attend, you're expected to bring a gift.

Wedding. With one exception, if you receive an invitation, you're supposed to give a gift whether you attend or not. The exception is if you live far away, have been out of touch with the bride for quite some time (years) and don't plan to attend. And in that case, it's a good idea to send a best wishes card. Some people that get married that aren't having a big wedding send wedding announcements. Note that a wedding announcement is not an invitation and there is no need to send a gift. However, if you're close to the couple, it might be a good idea to send a gift anyway and in any case, it's a good idea to send a best wishes card.