Is this becoming widely accepted

[SLP958]

Just received a wedding shower invitation in the mail. It states there will be a money tree and requests gift cards to 3 specific stores.

I have heard of this but thought it was considered in poor taste.

Has this become common these days? I just can not fathom sending someone an invite requesting cash.

 

[clm10308]

Just received a wedding shower invitation in the mail. It states there will be a money tree and requests gift cards to 3 specific stores.

I have heard of this but thought it was considered in poor taste.

Has this become common these days? I just can not fathom sending someone an invite requesting cash.

Well, I don't know how common it is, but a co-worker of mine was discussing her wedding plans and several times as talked about having a money tree specifically to pay for the honeymoon. She is already likening with her fiancé and has been for a while so they don't need any household stuff. She is trying to think of a a way to put a message in the indentations that will not sound tacky. good luck to her with that.

I am perfectly fine with requesting no gifts, but I will not add to a money tree. When I got married, we couldn't afford a honeymoon, so we didn't go on one. I never occurred to me to ask the wedding guests to pay for one.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I find them very tacky. A shower is for gifts, and I would like to bring whatever I like to bring; I won't be TOLD what to bring.

However, if I wanted to, I would call the party-thrower and ask them for suggestions. This would be the time to suggest the money treeto me.

 

[Tiggeroo]

I have no problem with a money tree or a dollar dance. The thing is the bride and groom are not supposed to be the one to plan this. It should be a surprise arranged by other family members. There were often money trees at showers or weddings in our family. You normally only put in a little money. I can't imagine it would pay for a honeymoon. There was also a dollar dance where the bride had a little bag that money was put in to dance with her. Sort of like a high end stripper, hahaha. Just kidding. These frequently accumulated money because some family members would get competitive and make a big deal about putting in a certain amount out loud. But in our family there was never a rule where you had to give a gift equal to the cost of your meal. Now I feel like we are trashy.
Nobody ever felt pressured to participate in these things. They were considered fun.

 

[*JoGo*]

Sounds very tacky.
There was a money tree at my grandpa's birthday party once. It wasn't on the invitation. If people wanted to add money, they did. I think that's the only way to do it without being tacky.

My SIL only wanted money (to pay for reception ) so she didn't register. She wasn't happy with any of the gifts she received at her shower. she even returned MY gift and I bought something she had SPECIFICALLY said she wanted. I think she did that bc she was mad at me. Whatev.

 

[runsandjumps]

My cousin asked for cash instead of gifts. So...

 

[Art 1]

Just received a wedding shower invitation in the mail. It states there will be a money tree and requests gift cards to 3 specific stores.

I have heard of this but thought it was considered in poor taste.

Has this become common these days? I just can not fathom sending someone an invite requesting cash.

Not with anyone we know.

 

[GusGus77]

We didn't ask for money or gift cards for our wedding, but we did receive some (and were grateful!) I think with the way registries can be made nowadays (like on amazon) you can add on the list "money towards honeymoon" or gift cards to "x" which lets people know you would like that, but leaves the choice up to the gift giver. I find that to be acceptable.

 

[EMom]

Tacky and tasteless.

 

[SLP958]

We didn't ask for money or gift cards for our wedding, but we did receive some (and were grateful!) I think with the way registries can be made nowadays (like on amazon) you can add on the list "money towards honeymoon" or gift cards to "x" which lets people know you would like that, but leaves the choice up to the gift giver. I find that to be acceptable.

This would make more sense. An invitation basically stating come over and bring me some cash, just seems rude to me.

These are people I really like so I will go by their wishes and try not to give the side eye.

 

[DisneyCrazyMomma]

Very tacky. I once saw on a wedding website a photo of the "dream house" we were supposed to give cash towards for the wedding. Umm, no thank you.

 

[LongLiveDisney]

Tackfest. It's a classless thing in my opinion.

 

[Bonniec]

Meh, this is why I got married in the courthouse. We just dropped our money on a honeymoon instead, lol.

 

[Sabeking]

I have never heard of that....but these days it seems like we spend all our time on the funeral circuit

 

[TLuvsD]

Tacky....really tacky.

Our family tends towards money gifts for weddings, and the money dance thing. But it's not for showers, and certainly not listed in invitations.

 

[sam_gordon]

Just received a wedding shower invitation in the mail. It states there will be a money tree and requests gift cards to 3 specific stores.

I have heard of this but thought it was considered in poor taste.

Has this become common these days? I just can not fathom sending someone an invite requesting cash.

Who is the invitation FROM? Is it the couple sending out the invitation or the party "hosts"? Does that change the dynamic?

 

[snarlingcoyote]

My family is mainly baptists, so I've seen the money tree since I was quite small. What does a money tree have to do with being baptist? Well, there's a tradition around here that at the wedding reception you pin bills to the bride and groom in exchange for a dance, which is similar to many other parts of the country. However, baptists don't dance. So, I guess our family has just always had the alternative, but usually at the shower. It's not on the invitation, but when you call the hostess, she'll tell you then, just so you actually have some cash on you.

 

[NC State]

Tacky and tasteless.

Agree

 

[snarlingcoyote]

Just received a wedding shower invitation in the mail. It states there will be a money tree and requests gift cards to 3 specific stores.

I have heard of this but thought it was considered in poor taste.

Has this become common these days? I just can not fathom sending someone an invite requesting cash.

It's not in the best of taste, no, but the hostess probably thought she was being helpful, so you'd know there was a money tree. As for the gift cards, yes, very, very tacky.

You're supposed to be very happy for whatever you get. Anything you can't use, you regift to some other fortunate couple (bonus points if they're a relative of the person who gifted it to you and it was obviously one of their regifts). Eventually someone will get it who likes it and will use it or doesn't have the spirit of the fun of these things and quietly donates it to a charity. (Whatever you do, don't put it out a garage sale or donate to your church/charity garage sale. . .the gifter may well show up!)

And trust me, when I do that sort of regifting, it's always at the shower and I'm certain to give a nice wedding present. Also, it doesn't hurt if the bride and groom have a good sense of humour and a thorough knowledge of how these things work.

 

[eliza61]

Just received a wedding shower invitation in the mail. It states there will be a money tree and requests gift cards to 3 specific stores.

I have heard of this but thought it was considered in poor taste.

Has this become common these days? I just can not fathom sending someone an invite requesting cash.

Truthfully I've come to the conclusion that what I considered back in the day, old fashion etiquette, has become a thing of the past.

Brides are routinely told "it's your day, do what you like" and they have taken that to heart.

I've had more family members do absolutely tacky things then I can recount.
I posted how my neice sent me an invitation with my gift already picked out. I was assigned the "kitchen" area and she expected a kitchen aide mixer. other members had their gifts already picked out also. According to some here I was being old fashion and it cuts down on getting gifts you don't want.

So, I'm at the point I ignore all of it. I purchase the gift I feel I can afford, I will try and use a registry if it's available. I don't participate in the things that I find totally tacky and tasteless.

Now, I've heard of the money tree, never at a wedding reception though. I've seen them at retirement parties and baby showers.

Give the gift that you want to. If they don't like it then let them take it back.