Is this a tacky thing to do at a baby shower?

[bluefairy13]

Because it is all about them. Some people say the MTB is a gifty piggy, well I say the ones who insist on a Thank You card and think badly if they don't get one are a Thank You Card Piggy. One gift means multiple thank yous? Get over yourself. You get someone a gift because you care about them, not because you need patted on the back for buying something. Anyway, that's how I feel.

P.S. I do send Thank You cards but I never expect them and don't think badly of anyone if I don't receive one. Again, I give because I care not because I want something in return.

It's a weird world if a person expecting a thank you note is considered selfish. If I have taken the time to chose something, buy it, wrap it, get all dressed up, block off an afternoon and go to something that I may or may not know many people at, I really like a little note to hear that the person appreciated it.

I'm so selfish.

 

[clownfish1452]

You think that is tacky. I went to a baby shower a couple years ago and they were doing jello shots. When they pass out envelopes I didnt think anything of it.

Sarah

 

[Miss Jasmine]

It's a weird world if a person expecting a thank you note is considered selfish. If I have taken the time to chose something, buy it, wrap it, get all dressed up, block off an afternoon and go to something that I may or may not know many people at, I really like a little note to hear that the person appreciated it.

I'm so selfish.

What if she thanks you right at the shower and tells you she appreciates it?

 

[happygirl]

It's a weird world if a person expecting a thank you note is considered selfish. If I have taken the time to chose something, buy it, wrap it, get all dressed up, block off an afternoon and go to something that I may or may not know many people at, I really like a little note to hear that the person appreciated it.

I'm so selfish.

Why can't the person just tell you thanks

 

[FoundMyPrince]

I think it's tacky. I understand why it's done, but still don't like it. Last time at a shower where this was done I was asked if there would be fill-in-the-blank thank you notes next.

I know new mothers are busy (I've had three children and multiple baby showers). But, it's addressing an envelope is just part of the thank you note. If someone is kind enough to buy a gift and show up at the shower, then the least I can do is find their address, write it on the envelope and send a thank you.

 

[crz4mm2]

Really not trying to be a jerk here, but you're saying that you don't get your panties in a wad, because you are one of those people who like to do it.
Am I right?

My panties are in no wad. I just don't like it.

That's the way the world works. I like people that I respect, and I don't respect this kind of thing. I'm sure no one is losing sleep over losing my respect, so it's no big deal. It's just a fact.

No, I am not one of those people who "like to do it". I assume you mean like to get my panties in a wad. I don't really care.
I said that each person is entitled to their own opinion on the subject. I just said there were bigger things to get my panties in a wad about.

You say your panties are not in a wad, you just 'don't like it'. I say I don't care. We each have our own opinions. That's what I said to begin with. Thanks for assuming I get my panties in a wad all the time.... jeez.

 

[bluefairy13]

Why can't the person just tell you thanks

Well usually, the shower is so big that the bride or whoever couldn't possibly give the proper attention to everyone.

And besides, she's gotten all those nice things. A quick thank you at the event can not take the place of a heartfelt thank you later about how much she is enjoying whatever it is.

She wants me to spend all that time, and she just wants to walk over and say - Thanks - ? Thank you notes make people feel good. If she feels good about the gift, she should care that the gift giver feels good too.

 

[bluefairy13]

No, I am not one of those people who "like to do it". I assume you mean like to get my panties in a wad. I don't really care.
I said that each person is entitled to their own opinion on the subject. I just said there were bigger things to get my panties in a wad about.

You say your panties are not in a wad, you just 'don't like it'. I say I don't care. We each have our own opinions. That's what I said to begin with. Thanks for assuming I get my panties in a wad all the time.... jeez.

Sorry if I misunderstood. I thought you said you ask people to bring labels.

 

[happygirl]

Well usually, the shower is so big that the bride or whoever couldn't possibly give the proper attention to everyone.

And besides, she's gotten all those nice things. A quick thank you at the event can not take the place of a heartfelt thank you later about how much she is enjoying whatever it is.

She wants me to spend all that time, and she just wants to walk over and say - Thanks - ? Thank you notes make people feel good. If she feels good about the gift, she should care that the gift giver feels good too.

I think when they say thanks in person that more personal then a thank you card but to each there own

 

[bluefairy13]

What if she thanks you right at the shower and tells you she appreciates it?

If I don't get a thank you note I see it as them not really appreciating the gift enough to take the time to write it and I am not likely to send them any more presents.

I'm not arguing with you. We just disagree.

 

[Laura]

I thought the whole purpose of a baby shower was to celebrate the new life coming into the world.

No, it's to help out the new parents. The baby hasn't come into the world yet.

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

The first shower where they did this, I thought it was tacky. I have since changed my mind - it's a good way for the shower hostess / friend to help out the mother-to-be when it is clearly a busy / stressful time in her life. Plus the mom might not have everyone's addresses. It doesn't take anything away from the meaning of a thank you note.

I agree. I also think a thank you note should be sent even if you thanked the person in person.

I will make an exception to that though, when my dd was 3 we had a big family party for her. I prewrote out generic thank you notes for everyone & included a picture. I had my dd walk around to everyone that came to the party and give them a thank you note personally and a big hug. I explained about the cards & told them I wanted her to thank them personally. She enjoyed it & they enjoyed it because they all got to spend one on one time with her.

 

[happygirl]

No, it's to help out the new parents. The baby hasn't come into the world yet.

about 70% of the baby showers I have been are after the baby is born

 

[Laura]

about 70% of the baby showers I have been are after the baby is born

All of the ones I've been to were during the mom's third trimester. That seems to be more and more the norm nowadays. Besides, held before or after birth, the shower is to help out the mom by giving her stuff she needs and honoring her for her new big step. Otherwise, everyone would be invited to a party after the birth, not just the new mom's female family and friends.

 

[Camicar]

I can be an old-fashioned stickler, but I have to say that this is a non-issue for me. Just write the address and be done with it. Not worth all the fuss we're making. I have to say I do find this amusing bec on another mb I frequent a woman was expressing her shock about women going out with married men and wondering why a woman would do that to another woman -- isn't there any solidarity among women, she wondered. Geez, we can't even give a big 'whatever' about pre-addressed envelopes, let alone keep our hands off another woman's man.

of the ones I've been to were during the mom's third trimester.

Me too.

 

[supercarrie]

I don't think its tacky. The mother is still writing a personalized thank-you note and I'm sure will truly appreciate the gifts she receives, and that is the important bit.

 

[happygirl]

All of the ones I've been to were during the mom's third trimester. That seems to be more and more the norm nowadays. Besides, held before or after birth, the shower is to help out the mom by giving her stuff she needs and honoring her for her new big step. Otherwise, everyone would be invited to a party after the birth, not just the new mom's female family and friends.

LOL I'm beginning to think my part of the country is backwards to everyone else in DIS

 

[mickeyboat]

LOL I'm beginning to think my part of the country is backwards to everyone else in DIS

The only after-the-baby shower I have ever been to was my own! I was hospitalized the evening of my surprise shower and was not able to attend. The shower went on without me, but some of my friends wanted me to be able to have the experience of the shower, and had one for me after-the-fact. Hannah was still in the hospital, and I took a break from being with her to attend.

Around here showers are before the baby is born.

Denae

 

[crz4mm2]

Sorry if I misunderstood. I thought you said you ask people to bring labels.

Nope,never said I asked them to bring their own labels. They have done that on their own.

And for the record, I have never hosted a shower and asked people to address their own envelopes.

 

[bluefairy13]

Nope,never said I asked them to bring their own labels. They have done that on their own.

And for the record, I have never hosted a shower and asked people to address their own envelopes.

I thought when you said "I have had them bring labels" you meant that you had them do it. I see what you mean now. Sorry!