Is this a tacky thing to do at a baby shower?

[Todd&Copper]

I think filling out your own envelopes is tacky. The mom-to-be didn't host the shower - her mom or sister or best friend did, so why can't the mom/sister/bff verify addresses for the thank yous and help set up the envelopes if that is such an issue. If I had to fill out my own envelope, it would leave me feeling very cynical, like the shower was nothing more than a loot grab and the MTB was a selfish [not shelfish] gift piggy.

 

[meandtheguys2]

I think filling out your own envelopes is tacky. The mom-to-be didn't host the shower - her mom or sister or best friend did, so why can't the mom/sister/bff verify addresses for the thank yous and help set up the envelopes if that is such an issue. If I had to fill out my own envelope, it would leave me feeling very cynical, like the shower was nothing more than a loot grab and the MTB was a selfish [not shelfish] gift piggy.

Why would you even go to a shower for someone you might potentially call a selfish gift piggy in the first place.

Frankly, if I went to a shower and that happened I would think the BEST of my friend, rather than the worse. I would assume they had nothing to do with it, or even that maybe they had, but hadn't really thought thru how it would look to the type of people that want to look for the worse. That is what friendship is all about.

 

[bluefairy13]

I get invited to showers, really big ones, that they have obviously invited everyone they know and are acquainted with. They seem almost as big as the wedding and are held at country clubs or halls. I go because it's important to someone that I do. Like when I get invited to my husband's AA's baby shower or my mil's best friend's daughter. They ask me to go and so I do. I'm not especially going for the bride.

So when they do something like this, I think, "Tacky!" and I'm given the impression that they are just gift piggys.

If it were my friend (and honestly, I can't think of a friend that would do this. They are pretty old fashioned courteous) I might be more forgiving. Anything's possible

 

[mickeyfan2]

I think some are missing the fact that this concept is the idea of the person who is throwing the party as a convenience for the mom-to-be and the hostess thinks she is doing something nice/kind for the mom-to-be.

The mom-to be still writes out the thank you note, but the thank you cards were bought for her and the addresses were put on for her. So what?

I still don't see the big deal. It's not like the mom-to-be is the one who thought it up to be lazy and 'tacky'. It was thought up for her by the hostess of the shower as a nice jesture.

Now, if this idea were the mom-to-be's idea because she's just a lazy bum, well, then yes, that would be 'tacky'.

I think you are missing the point that the person hosting the shower has the addresses and addresed them. Why did she not go one step farther and address the thank you cards too?

 

[bluefairy13]

I think you are missing the point that the person hosting the shower has the addresses and addresed them. Why did she not go one step farther and address the thank you cards too?

I think a lot of people are also missing the point that there are those of us that think it is tacky, and we just do. Telling us that we shouldn't see it that way is really useless.

I think the point is, if a bride or expectant mother does something like this, she has to realize that it will seem tacky to some people. There's really nothing to argue about here. I view it as tacky and many others agree. If someone wants to do it knowing some will see it that way, that is their choice.

 

[Todd&Copper]

Why would you even go to a shower for someone you might potentially call a selfish gift piggy in the first place.

Frankly, if I went to a shower and that happened I would think the BEST of my friend, rather than the worse. I would assume they had nothing to do with it, or even that maybe they had, but hadn't really thought thru how it would look to the type of people that want to look for the worse. That is what friendship is all about.

Why might I go in the first place? Well, if it was someone I knew from work, went to lunches with once every week or two, and got along with her well from our other interactions. I was not aware that people only went to showers for the bestest of best friends. Is that the rule now?
And I would suspect that if the invitation somehow ended up in my possession, then the thank you could end up in my possession following the same path as the invite. Has anyone ever addressed their own invite?

And as I said originally, the MTB usually doesn't throw her own shower. Her mom, sis or BFF is the host, so that host needs to get off her lazy behind and help if the MTB needs help b/c mom/sis/bff invited too many gift givers for the MTB to handle addressing the envelopes.

 

[beattyfamily]

I think you are missing the point that the person hosting the shower has the addresses and addresed them. Why did she not go one step farther and address the thank you cards too?

Nope, I'm not missing the point of this thread. I experienced it for the first time at my niece's shower in January. I just disagree with you.

As I said before, IMHO it may be tacky IF this idea was the mom-to-be's idea but it (in most cases, I would assume) is the hostess' idea. So the point of my post you are quoting was to say that in most cases, the mom-to-be had no part in this idea. She probably didn't know the hostess was thinking of doing that.

I think the hostess has good intentions and IMHO, is thinking she's doing something nice for the mom-to-be. I just don't see it as tacky or a big deal and as I said before, wish they thought of it when I had my shower. I'm guessing it's a fairly new concept.

Of course, if the hostess went one step further and wrote the thank you cards as well, that would be just rediculous and yes, very tacky, but having the guests put their addresses on the thank you card envelopes isn't, IMHO tacky. I think it's a great idea!

You are certainly entitled to disagree though.

 

[Laura]

Yes. It's tacky.

And this is from someone that HATES sending thank you cards. Actually I never send them if the person is present when they give me the gift and I open it in front of them. I said thank you at that time (and meant it of course!). Why the note? But if you are going to send a note, address it yourself, or ask a friend or family member to come over and help one afternoon if you have a lot of them.

Or do what I do and use the printer to do it! Then I just have to hand write the note!

As always, this is just my opinion, I could be wrong!

If you thank the gift-giver in person, you don't need to send a thank you note. I don't know why people expect a thank-you note after they've already been thanked, but they do. Wedding presents, for example, are generally opened out of sight of the gift-givers, so thank you notes are necessary then.

 

[ilisao]

Definitely tacky at any kind of shower.

I get the whole "mom-to-be is busy", but so were the guests who took the time to rsvp, shop, wrap, and coordinate their schedules to attend. I can guarantee that if I attend a shower, I have invested way more time

I agree with this and it's something I don't get. The baby has not arrived, so what is the mom to be so busy with? Doctor's appointments and decorating a nursery? I'm sure all the attendees have comparable time commitments.

 

[beattyfamily]

I think a lot of people are also missing the point that there are those of us that think it is tacky, and we just do. Telling us that we shouldn't see it that way is really useless.

I think the point is, if a bride or expectant mother does something like this, she has to realize that it will seem tacky to some people. There's really nothing to argue about here. I view it as tacky and many others agree. If someone wants to do it knowing some will see it that way, that is their choice.

That is not what I was doing if you are referring to me! I certainly feel that everyone is entitled to their opinion. Think it's a tacky idea if you want to. To each their own.

The point of my post earlier was just to point out that in most cases, this idea was the hostesses' idea and not the mom-to-be's idea. I can see if you think it's tacky of the hostess to do but I just don't see it as a reflection on the mom-to-be as usuallly she had no part in the concept/idea of having the guests address the envelopes.

 

[Laura]

I agree with this and it's something I don't get. The baby has not arrived, so what is the mom to be so busy with? Doctor's appointments and decorating a nursery? I'm sure all the attendees have comparable time commitments.

I agree with that. IMO, a bride-to-be is busier than a mom-to-be. Dress fittings, meetings with caterers, photographer, florist, maybe she's even moving or buying a house.

 

[mickeyboat]

I agree with this and it's something I don't get. The baby has not arrived, so what is the mom to be so busy with? Doctor's appointments and decorating a nursery? I'm sure all the attendees have comparable time commitments.

It's not a matter of the MTB not having time or being too busy, it is just something to help her out. I mean, isn't that the whole purpose of the shower, anyway?

 

[bluefairy13]

That is not what I was doing if you are referring to me! I certainly feel that everyone is entitled to their opinion. Think it's a tacky idea if you want to. To each their own.

The point of my post earlier was just to point out that in most cases, this idea was the hostesses' idea and not the mom-to-be's idea. I can see if you think it's tacky of the hostess to do but I just don't see it as a reflection on the mom-to-be as usuallly she had no part in the concept/idea of having the guests address the envelopes.

No, I wasn't referring to you. Just the idea of people missing the point.

Listen, I'm not putting anyone in front of a firing squad for this. It just might color my opinion of the person. Sometimes, the bride or the expectant mom might get caught in that crossfire. After all, the last couple of showers I went to it seemed like the person the shower was given for had really kind of planned the shower herself and gotten her sister or cousin to host it for her.

 

[happygirl]

I don't find it rude or tacky in the least. In all honest I could care less if I get a thank you card, If you tell me thank at the time that good enough for me

 

[crz4mm2]

I don't think it is tacky either, but that is my opinion. Others have different opinions.
To each their own.

If you thought it was tacky, don't fill out the envelope. Make the host or hostess do it themselves.
I just think it is not that big a deal, but again, that is MY opinion. There are so many OTHER big things to get my panties in a wad about

I think it is rather nice to have the envelopes all addressed. Sure saves time. I have even had people bring their own address LABELS wow. we do things different around here don't we

 

[wilderness01]

I've never heard of doing this, so I would have to think about it as to whether I thought it was tacky or not.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

If you thank the gift-giver in person, you don't need to send a thank you note. I don't know why people expect a thank-you note after they've already been thanked, but they do. Wedding presents, for example, are generally opened out of sight of the gift-givers, so thank you notes are necessary then.

Because it is all about them. Some people say the MTB is a gifty piggy, well I say the ones who insist on a Thank You card and think badly if they don't get one are a Thank You Card Piggy. One gift means multiple thank yous? Get over yourself. You get someone a gift because you care about them, not because you need patted on the back for buying something. Anyway, that's how I feel.

P.S. I do send Thank You cards but I never expect them and don't think badly of anyone if I don't receive one. Again, I give because I care not because I want something in return.

 

[happygirl]

P.S. I do send Thank You cards but I never expect them and don't think badly of anyone if I don't receive one. Again, I give because I care not because I want something in return.

that how I feel as well you said It better then I did

 

[bluefairy13]

I don't think it is tacky either, but that is my opinion. Others have different opinions.
To each their own.

If you thought it was tacky, don't fill out the envelope. Make the host or hostess do it themselves.
I just think it is not that big a deal, but again, that is MY opinion. There are so many OTHER big things to get my panties in a wad about

I think it is rather nice to have the envelopes all addressed. Sure saves time. I have even had people bring their own address LABELS wow. we do things different around here don't we

Really not trying to be a jerk here, but you're saying that you don't get your panties in a wad, because you are one of those people who like to do it.
Am I right?

My panties are in no wad. I just don't like it.

That's the way the world works. I like people that I respect, and I don't respect this kind of thing. I'm sure no one is losing sleep over losing my respect, so it's no big deal. It's just a fact.

 

[wilderness01]

It's not a matter of the MTB not having time or being too busy, it is just something to help her out. I mean, isn't that the whole purpose of the shower, anyway?

I thought the whole purpose of a baby shower was to celebrate the new life coming into the world.