Is this a MYOB situation??

[FlightlessDuck]

Really, they go to the bus stop at that young an age?

I used to walk to school at that age. I had to cross three streets, although none of them were busy and they were all in a residential area. It was also the early 80's.

 

[okeydokey]

We told her to go to the bathroom before she leaves the house and she said "No you people should take me"

I think SOME kids can certainly be independent enough to stand at the bus stop by themselves but these 2 are not.
If one of them is running around and gets hit in the alley, whose fault would it be?

The proper response here would be, No we won't take you. End of discussion. You don't need to be bossed around by a 7 year old.

 

[Erin1700]

The proper response here would be, No we won't take you. End of discussion. You don't need to be bossed around by a 7 year old.

Trust me, no one is taking her after the first time when the one mom did.
If nothing else this is a nice play by play for my child on "how not to behave in public"

 

[Hannathy]

The person who hit them.

You beat me to it!



I actually can't believe your kids get walked to the bus stop at that age. The kids around here all walk all the way to school by themselves or with a sibling. No one waits at bus stops with them .

I agree about the those kids will be more independent and ready for college.

Why is this bothering you? is it your property they are destroying? If it isn't then MYOB. It is up to the people whose property they are on to say something, but geeze kids can't walk on other peoples yards where you live? I wouldn't like that. Possibly let your child go to the stop alone and then you don't have to hear or see it.

 

[shirleyb]

My DH likes to tell the story that his mother walked him to school the first day of kindergarden. The second day, he told her to stay home, he could walk himself. And he did.

I've never had to make that decision, because the bus stop has always been in front of our house. My kids go out on the porch and wait until they see the bus coming.

 

[WDSearcher]

I would say that yes, this is an MYOB situation. If you decide to try and corral these kids, you'll be doing it for the rest of the school year and probably for a couple of grade levels.

If you're truly worried that they will hurt themselves, call the parents and let them know of the potential dangers. Otherwise, just deal with them as you would any other kid who was looking for attention (which seems like what these kids are doing). If it was me, I'd probably talk to the kids and ask them why they're running around so much and try to get them to chill a little. I tend to treat kids like small adults -- I talk to them almost like I'm talking to a peer, and it's amazing the effect that has on the wilder kids. They're used to the concept of being able to run wild because they're kids. When I ask them how their day is so far and what kind of a day they think it will be, they tend to stop and think about it. (Either that, or they're silently thinking, "Who IS this lame grown-up?" )

 

[Agri]

I would contact the school unless you really know the parents well. Bus stops are usually considered school property for disciplinary reasons, and it would be better for the school to contact the parents rather than you. If the school thinks it is serious enough, they'll talk to the girls and their parents.

I don't understand why anyone would consider this a MYOB situation when the kids could end up getting hit by a car. Just because the kids are annoying doesn't mean they should just be thrown to the wolves.

As for kids being walked to the bus stop - its a whole new world out there. Kids in my neighborhood don't walk anywhere by themselves until they are in high school. We live in a nice neighborhood, but it is near a busy street and I think most parents would rather be safe than sorry.

OP - you are the one who has to live with your decision. If it truly concerns you, talk to the school.

 

[Erin1700]

You beat me to it!



I actually can't believe your kids get walked to the bus stop at that age. The kids around here all walk all the way to school by themselves or with a sibling. No one waits at bus stops with them .

I agree about the those kids will be more independent and ready for college.

Why is this bothering you? is it your property they are destroying? If it isn't then MYOB. It is up to the people whose property they are on to say something, but geeze kids can't walk on other peoples yards where you live? I wouldn't like that. Possibly let your child go to the stop alone and then you don't have to hear or see it.

There is a big difference in walking through someones yard and running through, knocking over their things, stomping in their gardens.

There is a difference in kids running around a little bit and having them run so fast they can not stop and fly into the busy street.

Yes there are kids who are able to behave at this age, lots of them. But there are kids who can not and are putting themselves in danger and destroying other peoples things.

One other mom has told them not to go in the peoples yards and the kids response was "They arent home and you are not my boss!"

 

[susykt4]

This is somewhat off topic, but sort of the same deal. My neighbors sent their kids over to play from the time they first bought and started fixing up their house. We had never even MET the adults, but the kids were over constantly. The kids were 4 and JUST turned 3. My husband actually potty trained the little boy because he got sick of little boy um, soiling his pullup and then taking it off and dropping the contents on our carpet. It gets better... A few weeks before their youngest child turned TWO, the mom started bringing him to our house so she could get him used to coming over since at age TWO he was obviously ready to come over on his own.

I finally put my foot down. There was NO WAY I was coming home from a long day at work to BABYSIT the neighbor toddler. We now have many, many rules about when the kids can come over, what they are allowed to eat/drink (tap water and birthday cake or other special event food only) and we stick to them.

The parents are VERY hard to communicate with so we weren't being total babies, but wow. A very weird experience!

 

[Erin1700]

I would say that yes, this is an MYOB situation. If you decide to try and corral these kids, you'll be doing it for the rest of the school year and probably for a couple of grade levels.

If you're truly worried that they will hurt themselves, call the parents and let them know of the potential dangers. Otherwise, just deal with them as you would any other kid who was looking for attention (which seems like what these kids are doing). If it was me, I'd probably talk to the kids and ask them why they're running around so much and try to get them to chill a little. I tend to treat kids like small adults -- I talk to them almost like I'm talking to a peer, and it's amazing the effect that has on the wilder kids. They're used to the concept of being able to run wild because they're kids. When I ask them how their day is so far and what kind of a day they think it will be, they tend to stop and think about it. (Either that, or they're silently thinking, "Who IS this lame grown-up?" )

I understand what you are saying, but it is not MY job to deal with these kids. I really think the parents feel we will look after them and if something ever happens to them, will be yelling at all of us that we did nothing to stop it.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I understand what you are saying, but it is not MY job to deal with these kids. I really think the parents feel we will look after them and if something ever happens to them, will be yelling at all of us that we did nothing to stop it.

You sum it up here - it is not your job, nor is it your responsibility. You asked for opinions, and it looks like the board is split. You are going to have to decide, but keep in mind that there are consequences for everything that we do in life. If these children are such brats, what must their parents be like?

 

[RadioNate]

There is a big difference in walking through someones yard and running through, knocking over their things, stomping in their gardens.

There is a difference in kids running around a little bit and having them run so fast they can not stop and fly into the busy street.

Yes there are kids who are able to behave at this age, lots of them. But there are kids who can not and are putting themselves in danger and destroying other peoples things.

One other mom has told them not to go in the peoples yards and the kids response was "They arent home and you are not my boss!"

Why isn't any adult standing up to these kids? At our old house I was the bus stop police because it was in my yard but really if all the parents there keep a short lease, these kids will behave.

I wouldn't involve the school. I also don't think it is too young to be walking to the stop alone. Maybe the parents have to work and there is no one to take them and hang out and gossip. No one hung out at our stop. If it was raining parents would bring them in cars, where they would wait for the bus.

I would however let them know, as a group of parents, that they need to stay at the bus stop and behave, period. Detail out the consequences, calling the school, etc and give them a chance to behave. "Peer" pressure can go a long way, of course this should have been nipped earlier in the school year.

 

[Hannathy]

I understand what you are saying, but it is not MY job to deal with these kids. I really think the parents feel we will look after them and if something ever happens to them, will be yelling at all of us that we did nothing to stop it.

no you would be yelling because you think it is your job to take care of all kids. It isn't. Take care of your own and MYOB. You have finally got it it isn't your job.


And by the way the little girl was right, the other lady isn't her mother!

I still don't get why there are so many mothers at a bus stop, isn't that a bit of overkill? I mean if you live in so dangerous of a neighborhood that an adult MUST be with kids why don't you take turns?

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I really think the parents feel we will look after them and if something ever happens to them, will be yelling at all of us that we did nothing to stop it.

They can yell all they want, and you may feel this way inside yourself, but legally, I don't think you'd be held accountable if something happened. (But then again, I'm not a lawyer. So maybe a legal person here could speak to that issue.) OTOH, if you do involve yourself more than you should, then you may be taking on the very responsibility you're trying to avoid. Interesting dilemma.

 

[ols386]

If you think the two little girls are in danger, then most definitely, I would report it to the school. For example, you mentioned that there are some very busy streets that they have to cross.

As for some of the comments about why are the parents even going to the bus stop with their kids...I don't see anything wrong with that, especially for younger kids. As the parent, if you think it's the right thing, to go to the bus stop with them, then you should go.

 

[Erin1700]

no you would be yelling because you think it is your job to take care of all kids. It isn't. Take care of your own and MYOB. You have finally got it it isn't your job.


And by the way the little girl was right, the other lady isn't her mother!

I still don't get why there are so many mothers at a bus stop, isn't that a bit of overkill? I mean if you live in so dangerous of a neighborhood that an adult MUST be with kids why don't you take turns?

The neighborhood isnt dangerous. No one takes turns, why would we?? We are all on our own schedules.

If my kid ever told someone she wasnt going to listen to them because they were not her mother, my kid would have some serious punishment. We dont raise our kids that way.

 

[Erin1700]

If you think the two little girls are in danger, then most definitely, I would report it to the school. For example, you mentioned that there are some very busy streets that they have to cross.

As for some of the comments about why are the parents even going to the bus stop with their kids...I don't see anything wrong with that, especially for younger kids. As the parent, if you think it's the right thing, to go to the bus stop with them, then you should go.

It is not so much the crossing of the streets, it is the running full force into the streets that is more of an issue. We have told them to be careful and they say "You are not my mom!"

I love the days I get to drive my kid to school!

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

The neighborhood isnt dangerous. No one takes turns, why would we?? We are all on our own schedules.

If my kid ever told someone she wasnt going to listen to them because they were not her mother, my kid would have some serious punishment. We dont raise our kids that way.

You seem to be more angry that these children are not being properly parented than anything else.

 

[woodkins]

The person who hit them.

So if a person is driving down the street and a child runs out in front of their car it is the driver's fault....how about the kid who ran out in front of them! Somehow I think people's attitudes would change if one of the kids gets hit by a car, or if someone approaches them in a car and tries to abduct them.

I don't know where the OP lives, but I live on Long Island and cannot imagine letting a 7 year old walk on their own and wait at the bus stop. In fact, it is not allowed in our school district. If at the end of the day there is not a parent or authorized adult at the bus stop to pick them up the child is driven back to the school. They are only allowed off the bus alone after 5th grade.

 

[agnes!]

I think I'd MYOB about getting in touch with the parents, the parents *know* how their kids behave and they don't have a problem with it but they *might* have a problem with you saying something to them about their little cherubs' shenanigans. I am unsure how you would report these siblings to the school anyway...what would they be reported for...being bratty and mouthy to adults? And if you *do* report them , the parents will have a pretty darn good idea about *who* did the reporting. I'm sure their general behavior at the stop is not any great surprise to the school anyway...they probably behave the same way on school grounds as they do off.

I think that all the parents who wait at the bus stop should think about not doing it at all or having a bus-stop 'sit-out'. The adults who usually wait at the stop should take their kids to school for a couple of days or so and keep doing this sporadically maybe for a month, saying nothing to any child about the actual "why". Then the mouthy kids won't have anyone to boss around and they also won't have anyone to keep an eye on them.

agnes!