Is this a MYOB situation??

[happygirl]

So if a person is driving down the street and a child runs out in front of their car it is the driver's fault....how about the kid who ran out in front of them! Somehow I think people's attitudes would change if one of the kids gets hit by a car, or if someone approaches them in a car and tries to abduct them.

I don't know where the OP lives, but I live on Long Island and cannot imagine letting a 7 year old walk on their own and wait at the bus stop. In fact, it is not allowed in our school district. If at the end of the day there is not a parent or authorized adult at the bus stop to pick them up the child is driven back to the school. They are only allowed off the bus alone after 5th grade.

I would hate to live where you do. I can't image talking my kids to the bus stop everyday

 

[golfgal]

If you think the two little girls are in danger, then most definitely, I would report it to the school. For example, you mentioned that there are some very busy streets that they have to cross.

As for some of the comments about why are the parents even going to the bus stop with their kids...I don't see anything wrong with that, especially for younger kids. As the parent, if you think it's the right thing, to go to the bus stop with them, then you should go.

Why would you report this to the school. They are not in the social services business. If you think that the children are really in danger, report it to Child Protective Services and leave the school out of it.

 

[IUTBAM]

I'm not going to touch the issue of parents being at the bus stop...I'm a SAHM, and I've driven my kids to school every day of their lives (my oldest is now a senior)...I enjoy the extra time with them, and they seem to enjoy it too, and I'm lucky to be able to do it.

ANYWAY, regarding the unsupervised, and somewhat unruly kids at the bus stop who are putting themselves in danger, trespassing and being destructive...if it were me, I'd make a non-emergency call to my local police department, and talk to an officer about it. Perhaps an officer could observe the bus stop one morning. I bet a police officer talking to these kids about safety and not destroying other people's property would have an effect on them. Anyway, just a thought.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I'm not going to touch the issue of parents being at the bus stop...I'm a SAHM, and I've driven my kids to school every day of their lives (my oldest is now a senior)...I enjoy the extra time with them, and they seem to enjoy it too, and I'm lucky to be able to do it.

ANYWAY, regarding the unsupervised, and somewhat unruly kids at the bus stop who are putting themselves in danger, trespassing and being destructive...if it were me, I'd make a non-emergency call to my local police department, and talk to an officer about it. Perhaps an officer could observe the bus stop one morning. I bet a police officer talking to these kids about safety and not destroying other people's property would have an effect on them. Anyway, just a thought.

That sounds like a great idea!

 

[ols386]

Why would you report this to the school. They are not in the social services business. If you think that the children are really in danger, report it to Child Protective Services and leave the school out of it.

Ok, then report them to CPS. Wherever. But as an adult, if I observe a child that I think is in some kind of danger, I won't just sit on the sideline and say nothing.

But at the same time, don't the school districts run the busses?? If so, then I think that might be the place to start, in this case. Correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[Juliegirl1]

My son (4th Grade) goes to the bus stop on his own every day. I have to be at work before 8 a.m. and his bus doesn't pick him up until 7:40 a.m. I have to leave my house by 7 in order to make it to work on time. I make sure he is up and dressed and eating breakfast before I leave. I set a timer and he can watch tv while eating breakfast until the timer goes off. I also have a timer on my cell phone and call him about the time the timer should be going off.

He goes to the bus stop, crosses one street and waits for the bus. I had issues with him at the beginning of the year going to the next bus stop down to talk to his friend and he ended up dropping his keys down the sewer drain. I talked to one of the moms that is there every morning and asked her at the beginning of the year to please let me know if he went to the other bus stop or was unruly. She was nice enough to let him come and stay in her house until I got home the day he lost his keys. Luckily I am friendly with the other mom (her daughter is in my son's class) and she is willing to help me but I don't expect her to take care of my son, just tattle on him, lol.

The mother of these kids won't know what's going on unless it is brought to her attention. I would talk to her, leave her a note or something before you bring in the police. Maybe once she knows what's going on she could talk to her kids and get an attitude adjustment before it goes too far.

I know as a single mom sometimes it helps to have a friend rather than feeling like everyone is out to get me. Give the mom a chance.

 

[happygirl]

.

But at the same time, don't the school districts run the busses?? If so, then I think that might be the place to start, in this case. Correct me if I'm wrong.

I think the school is only responsible for the kids when they are on the bus

 

[ols386]

My son (4th Grade) goes to the bus stop on his own every day. I have to be at work before 8 a.m. and his bus doesn't pick him up until 7:40 a.m. I have to leave my house by 7 in order to make it to work on time. I make sure he is up and dressed and eating breakfast before I leave. I set a timer and he can watch tv while eating breakfast until the timer goes off. I also have a timer on my cell phone and call him about the time the timer should be going off.

He goes to the bus stop, crosses one street and waits for the bus. I had issues with him at the beginning of the year going to the next bus stop down to talk to his friend and he ended up dropping his keys down the sewer drain. I talked to one of the moms that is there every morning and asked her at the beginning of the year to please let me know if he went to the other bus stop or was unruly. She was nice enough to let him come and stay in her house until I got home the day he lost his keys. Luckily I am friendly with the other mom (her daughter is in my son's class) and she is willing to help me but I don't expect her to take care of my son, just tattle on him, lol.

The mother of these kids won't know what's going on unless it is brought to her attention. I would talk to her, leave her a note or something before you bring in the police. Maybe once she knows what's going on she could talk to her kids and get an attitude adjustment before it goes too far.

I know as a single mom sometimes it helps to have a friend rather than feeling like everyone is out to get me. Give the mom a chance.

I don't think of it as a matterof being "out to get the parent". I think it's more about the welfare and safety of the children.

 

[WDSearcher]

I understand what you are saying, but it is not MY job to deal with these kids. I really think the parents feel we will look after them and if something ever happens to them, will be yelling at all of us that we did nothing to stop it.

I didn't say it WAS your job. I just told you what I would probably do in the same situation.

And honestly ... it doesn't sound like anyone else is telling you it's your job either. If you're worried about the kids getting hurt, call their parents. If you feel like these kids' parents are taking advantage of you, call the parents and tell them to come and watch their own kids. If the kids are being destructive to others' property, then either call their parents or call the police. If the only thing you're worried about is the legal ramifications if one of the kids gets hurt, then call a lawyer and ask if you're liable and know for sure.

But the thing is ... you're at the bus stop. So are the other parents. It's unlikely that you will ever be able to totally turn a blind eye. Particularly if their parents never step up. So you will have to decide how to deal with their behavior, kind of whether you want to or not.

 

[Erin1700]

My son (4th Grade) goes to the bus stop on his own every day. I have to be at work before 8 a.m. and his bus doesn't pick him up until 7:40 a.m. I have to leave my house by 7 in order to make it to work on time. I make sure he is up and dressed and eating breakfast before I leave. I set a timer and he can watch tv while eating breakfast until the timer goes off. I also have a timer on my cell phone and call him about the time the timer should be going off.

He goes to the bus stop, crosses one street and waits for the bus. I had issues with him at the beginning of the year going to the next bus stop down to talk to his friend and he ended up dropping his keys down the sewer drain. I talked to one of the moms that is there every morning and asked her at the beginning of the year to please let me know if he went to the other bus stop or was unruly. She was nice enough to let him come and stay in her house until I got home the day he lost his keys. Luckily I am friendly with the other mom (her daughter is in my son's class) and she is willing to help me but I don't expect her to take care of my son, just tattle on him, lol.

The mother of these kids won't know what's going on unless it is brought to her attention. I would talk to her, leave her a note or something before you bring in the police. Maybe once she knows what's going on she could talk to her kids and get an attitude adjustment before it goes too far.

I know as a single mom sometimes it helps to have a friend rather than feeling like everyone is out to get me. Give the mom a chance.

It is not a single mom, both parents are home at the time. I believe the dad does not work.

 

[bettyann29]

Id say MYOB.. You cant be the parent police for every child in the neighborhood.. It is not uncommon for children that age to walk by themselves.. now if it was a second grader by themself I might be concerned a little.. I live about 2 blocks from my kids elementary school and they always walked to school and crossed a busy street to get to their school.. they were never allowed to walk alone and they are now 13, 17 and 19 and they are just fine..

I dont see why this would be a problem that you would contact the school about regardless.. what would they do? They might talk to the parents, but they cant make them go to the bus stop with the kids..

 

[Juliegirl1]

I don't think of it as a matterof being "out to get the parent". I think it's more about the welfare and safety of the children.

I guess I really phrased that one wrong! I know the op's not out to get the parent - I just mean that a polite phone call giving the parent a chance to respond before siccing the cops or cps on them might make a difference. Very often the parent might not know that their child is doing wrong until it is brought to their attention.

 

[WDSearcher]

Why isn't any adult standing up to these kids? At our old house I was the bus stop police because it was in my yard but really if all the parents there keep a short leash, these kids will behave.

This.

There are multiple grown-ups at this bus stop, apparently, all of whom seem to feel the same way about these kids' behavior. So ... get together. If all the parents banded together to let these kids know that their behavior is NOT acceptable at the bus stop, it's a lot harder for the kids to get all, "You're not my mom."

And if that IS what the kids say, then the response is, "No ... we're NOT your mom. But we're the adults here and your behavior is not acceptable to us. You can behave, or you can leave. Choose." My guess is that when confronted directly with a mob of angry parents, the kids will back down. They know that they can control you individually. They've proven that. Let them try to control you collectively. Not as easy.

I also like the thought of having a police officer come by and stand there for one morning. See if the kids misbehave in that instance. And be sure the officer lets the kids know that he's there because of THEM.

 

[RadioNate]

This.

There are multiple grown-ups at this bus stop, apparently, all of whom seem to feel the same way about these kids' behavior. So ... get together. If all the parents banded together to let these kids know that their behavior is NOT acceptable at the bus stop, it's a lot harder for the kids to get all, "You're not my mom."

And if that IS what the kids say, then the response is, "No ... we're NOT your mom. But we're the adults here and your behavior is not acceptable to us. You can behave, or you can leave. Choose." My guess is that when confronted directly with a mob of angry parents, the kids will back down. They know that they can control you individually. They've proven that. Let them try to control you collectively. Not as easy.

I also like the thought of having a police officer come by and stand there for one morning. See if the kids misbehave in that instance. And be sure the officer lets the kids know that he's there because of THEM.

Thank you. I get that it really isn't the OPs responsibility, they aren't her kids but unfortunately she is the one there. So it is either step up or shut up.

I really don't see what calling the school will accomplish and calling CPS or the police just seems to me like a recipe for disaster. Those are actions with potentially huge consequences that I'm not certain are warranted.

These kids know that this group of parents isn't going to say anything and that when they do say something they back off when challenged. Stop backing off. Doing it collectively will be the key. I hate to say it but gang up on them. Tell them to knock it off or you'll call their mom or the school or whatever you think is "worse" to them. THEN follow through if they don't shape up.

You're there and while you shouldn't have to deal with this sometimes in life the people there are stuck dealing with things that are the responsibility of the people who aren't there.

 

[proud_canadian]

My son (4th Grade) goes to the bus stop on his own every day. I have to be at work before 8 a.m. and his bus doesn't pick him up until 7:40 a.m. I have to leave my house by 7 in order to make it to work on time. I make sure he is up and dressed and eating breakfast before I leave. I set a timer and he can watch tv while eating breakfast until the timer goes off. I also have a timer on my cell phone and call him about the time the timer should be going off.

He goes to the bus stop, crosses one street and waits for the bus. I had issues with him at the beginning of the year going to the next bus stop down to talk to his friend and he ended up dropping his keys down the sewer drain. I talked to one of the moms that is there every morning and asked her at the beginning of the year to please let me know if he went to the other bus stop or was unruly. She was nice enough to let him come and stay in her house until I got home the day he lost his keys. Luckily I am friendly with the other mom (her daughter is in my son's class) and she is willing to help me but I don't expect her to take care of my son, just tattle on him, lol.

The mother of these kids won't know what's going on unless it is brought to her attention. I would talk to her, leave her a note or something before you bring in the police. Maybe once she knows what's going on she could talk to her kids and get an attitude adjustment before it goes too far.

I know as a single mom sometimes it helps to have a friend rather than feeling like everyone is out to get me. Give the mom a chance.

A little off topic, but don't you have to be 12 years old by law to stay home alone???

 

[SpecialK]

I'm not going to touch the issue of parents being at the bus stop...I'm a SAHM, and I've driven my kids to school every day of their lives (my oldest is now a senior)...I enjoy the extra time with them, and they seem to enjoy it too, and I'm lucky to be able to do it.

ANYWAY, regarding the unsupervised, and somewhat unruly kids at the bus stop who are putting themselves in danger, trespassing and being destructive...if it were me, I'd make a non-emergency call to my local police department, and talk to an officer about it. Perhaps an officer could observe the bus stop one morning. I bet a police officer talking to these kids about safety and not destroying other people's property would have an effect on them. Anyway, just a thought. [/QUOTE

I agree with this suggestion. There was a similar situation in our neighborhood and the police were happy to intervene before someone got hurt.

 

[Acklander]

A little off topic, but don't you have to be 12 years old by law to stay home alone???

No, not where I live. I think you have to be 9

 

[Mkrop]

There is a big difference in walking through someones yard and running through, knocking over their things, stomping in their gardens.

There is a difference in kids running around a little bit and having them run so fast they can not stop and fly into the busy street.

Yes there are kids who are able to behave at this age, lots of them. But there are kids who can not and are putting themselves in danger and destroying other peoples things.

One other mom has told them not to go in the peoples yards and the kids response was "They arent home and you are not my boss!"

Now my response would have been no I am not your mom but I am adult and should be treated with respect, and dont put it past me to call that homeowner later and tell her that it was you young lady that was trambling Mrs Smith's flowers.

But I am mean like that

I'm not going to touch the issue of parents being at the bus stop...I'm a SAHM, and I've driven my kids to school every day of their lives (my oldest is now a senior)...I enjoy the extra time with them, and they seem to enjoy it too, and I'm lucky to be able to do it.

ANYWAY, regarding the unsupervised, and somewhat unruly kids at the bus stop who are putting themselves in danger, trespassing and being destructive...if it were me, I'd make a non-emergency call to my local police department, and talk to an officer about it. Perhaps an officer could observe the bus stop one morning. I bet a police officer talking to these kids about safety and not destroying other people's property would have an effect on them. Anyway, just a thought.

Not a bad idea.

Thank you. I get that it really isn't the OPs responsibility, they aren't her kids but unfortunately she is the one there. So it is either step up or shut up.

I really don't see what calling the school will accomplish and calling CPS or the police just seems to me like a recipe for disaster. Those are actions with potentially huge consequences that I'm not certain are warranted.

These kids know that this group of parents isn't going to say anything and that when they do say something they back off when challenged. Stop backing off. Doing it collectively will be the key. I hate to say it but gang up on them. Tell them to knock it off or you'll call their mom or the school or whatever you think is "worse" to them. THEN follow through if they don't shape up.You're there and while you shouldn't have to deal with this sometimes in life the people there are stuck dealing with things that are the responsibility of the people who aren't there.

I totally agree with this. Like I mentioned above, the kid doesnt have to lsiten to me but I dont have to be quiet either.


Around here kids are walked to the bus stop, one of those regioanl things again I am sure but let's try not to cricticize who does and who doesnt, it doesnt help the OP's siutation.

Also around here the bus stop is considered school property and if one misbehaves at the bus stop or is bullying others at the bus stop, the school is called as well as the bus company.

 

[Acklander]

If it's kids just being annoying, I'd mind my own business

If it was on my property, I'd say something to the kids, and if that didn't work, I'd say something to the parents

If it's kids playing in the busy street - I'd say something to the kids AND the parents

If it's kids running and playing in the alley - I'm not sure what that means. When I was a kid there was an alley that we'd play stick ball and stuff in. But very, very rarely did a car go down the alley, and when it did they usually went slow so we had plenty of time to move to the side. If it's that kind of alley, I'd mind my own business.

As far as a kid using my bathroom - I'd let the kid use mine, because stuff like that doesn't bother me, but I wouldn't feel obligated or required to do it. If it did bother me I'd just say no.

 

[Juliegirl1]

A little off topic, but don't you have to be 12 years old by law to stay home alone???

There is no law about that here. Our local laws "suggest" that your child be mature enough to handle it. My son is 10 and very mature for his age. I also have the neighbor mom who volunteered to be there if he needs any help. I talk to him 2-3 times on the phone in the 30 or so minutes that he is alone. We have a very protective dog and an alarm on the house and my child is a black belt in Tae Kwon Do.

This is what the Texas Department of Family Services says about it:

How old must a child be to be left home alone?

Answer: Supervision of children is basic to the prevention of harm. Adequate supervision means an adult caregiver is accountable for the child's care. Although, there is no Texas law that defines a specific age at which a child may be left home alone, there are several factors that should be taken into consideration when deciding how closely to supervise a child, including:

•the age, emotional maturity and capability of the child;
•layout and safety of the home, play area, or other setting;
•neighborhood circumstances, hazards, and risks;
•the child's ability to respond to illness, fire, weather, or other types of emergencies; and
•whether the child has a mental, physical, or medical disability.
The number of children left unsupervised, the accessibility to other responsible adults, the length of time or frequency with which the child is left alone, and the child's knowledge of the parent's whereabouts are additional relevant factors.