Is this a MYOB situation??

[Carly_Roach]

We told her to go to the bathroom before she leaves the house and she said "No you people should take me"

I think SOME kids can certainly be independent enough to stand at the bus stop by themselves but these 2 are not.
If one of them is running around and gets hit in the alley, whose fault would it be?

Hers.

 

[mjkacmom]

A little off topic, but don't you have to be 12 years old by law to stay home alone???

Nope, at least not here. I'd have no problem leaving my 9 year old home for small periods of time - I'm sure I have.

 

[jodifla]

no you would be yelling because you think it is your job to take care of all kids. It isn't. Take care of your own and MYOB. You have finally got it it isn't your job.


And by the way the little girl was right, the other lady isn't her mother!

I still don't get why there are so many mothers at a bus stop, isn't that a bit of overkill? I mean if you live in so dangerous of a neighborhood that an adult MUST be with kids why don't you take turns?

Sometimes,there are district rules. We have a shuttle bus stop that has more than 100 kids is a big parking lot. The rules state that the kids must be taken to the bus by a parent, literally walked over, not just staying in your car. And you must be out by the bus to greet them when they are dropped off.

Our neighborhood is very safe, but the chaotic nature of all the cars coming and going in the parking lot, along with all the kids and buses, they have started requiring this.

 

[rodeo65]

This is somewhat off topic, but sort of the same deal. My neighbors sent their kids over to play from the time they first bought and started fixing up their house. We had never even MET the adults, but the kids were over constantly. The kids were 4 and JUST turned 3. My husband actually potty trained the little boy because he got sick of little boy um, soiling his pullup and then taking it off and dropping the contents on our carpet. It gets better... A few weeks before their youngest child turned TWO, the mom started bringing him to our house so she could get him used to coming over since at age TWO he was obviously ready to come over on his own.

I finally put my foot down. There was NO WAY I was coming home from a long day at work to BABYSIT the neighbor toddler. We now have many, many rules about when the kids can come over, what they are allowed to eat/drink (tap water and birthday cake or other special event food only) and we stick to them.

The parents are VERY hard to communicate with so we weren't being total babies, but wow. A very weird experience!

This would make my head explode!!!!!!!!!

We are very close to the bus stop - about four houses away but around a corner so it can't be seen. My daughter goes to a school the next city over. It is a private school and I don't know if this plays into the frequency of this or not, but twice in three years we have had notification home from the school about kids being followed and questioned when they get off the bus - "Is this the time you normally get home, do you go to School X? are your parents home" etc. Twice in three years. The police were involved in both cases. I wonder how many times the police were not involved. Once was on our route and once another one.

Call me a helicopter or whatever you want to call me, but I walk DD to the bus and wait for her after school. I'll judge by her street saavy when I feel she's old enough to manage on her own, but at this point, she's just not there. She'll talk to anyone, no matter the cautions we've given and if they have a dog - game over, she'll follow them anywhere. When DS went to the same school I might have considered allowing the two of them together, but we changed his school this year - across the city and no bus, so I have to drive him. He's no more street smart than she is either. I dunno where I went wrong with that.

OP, I'd mention it to the parents if anything, not the school, but I can't see it will get you anywhere. I'm with others that said no way would I take a kids I don't know into my house without permission of the parents. Unless in emergency, of course.

 

[tlbwriter]

We told her to go to the bathroom before she leaves the house and she said "No you people should take me"

"But remember? I'm not your mother."

 

[Dee77]

I would speak directly with the parents, not only about their behavior while waiting for the bus but also the fact that they have no problem with going into strangers houses when the parents are not around. If they are not appreciative of your help and things don't change then I would call the school.

 

[palavra]

Why don't you and several of the other mothers just talk to the parents? You've expained here very well what the problems are, so just tell their parents the same thing. Then, it's up to the parents to do something. If they don't, and then kids are endangering themselves or other children, call the cops.

 

[mamacatnv]

We had busses for Elem. when DS was younger and from 3rd grade on (when we moved to our neighborhood) he got himself to the bus stop, got on the bus, went to school and returned home on the bus, all without my assistance. DS continued on a bus to middle and high school until he could drive himself, all without us ever stepping foot near the bus stop.
When DD was ready for the same Elem. school bussing was not an option, we drove her the 2 miles to school.

As for unruly kids, OP I suggest you contact your district. Every school system is probably different in how they would approach this. I know back in the day when we had busses, one of our neighbors complained about the kids in her yard, stomping flowers, throwing rocks etc. This was going on despite several parents telling the kids to knock it off. The Principal of the school spent a few mornings at the bus stop, that put an end to that nonsense.

 

[4princess]

I would contact the school unless you really know the parents well. Bus stops are usually considered school property for disciplinary reasons, and it would be better for the school to contact the parents rather than you. If the school thinks it is serious enough, they'll talk to the girls and their parents.

I don't understand why anyone would consider this a MYOB situation when the kids could end up getting hit by a car. Just because the kids are annoying doesn't mean they should just be thrown to the wolves.

As for kids being walked to the bus stop - its a whole new world out there. Kids in my neighborhood don't walk anywhere by themselves until they are in high school. We live in a nice neighborhood, but it is near a busy street and I think most parents would rather be safe than sorry.

OP - you are the one who has to live with your decision. If it truly concerns you, talk to the school.

I am with you on this one - I wonder how they act ON the bus? We are in rural area and the bus pick up my kids a block maybe from my driveway, and I take them in the car (in rain or snow) or walk with them. They are sisters 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 7th grades. They don't get a long at home, I can't imagine what they would be like a lone at the stop for even 5min.

 

[golfgal]

A little off topic, but don't you have to be 12 years old by law to stay home alone???

No state has a law about what age kids can stay home alone. Some states have laws about kids being home alone and being LOCKED in their homes but not just staying home alone. No state would want to take on that liability.

 

[tlbwriter]

No state has a law about what age kids can stay home alone. Some states have laws about kids being home alone and being LOCKED in their homes but not just staying home alone. No state would want to take on that liability.

Apparently, Illinois and Maryland both have laws, and other states have official guidelines. (North Carolina and Oregon also have laws according to this list, but other sources say Illinois and Maryland are the only states with legal limits, and I can't tell who is out of date).

http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm

 

[woodkins]

Why would you report this to the school. They are not in the social services business. If you think that the children are really in danger, report it to Child Protective Services and leave the school out of it.

As a matter of fact they are (at least in NYS). School districts and their employees are mandated responders of child abuse and or maltreatment. They offer free and or reduced lunch and breakfast to children as well all of which are "social service" related.

 

[cm8]

The child's fault. Children are not stupid. I suspect that they are playing you more than you realize.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Their behavior (running around inappropriately) would bother me. I don't like parenting other people's kids. I know that when I was in school, the bus stop--for these purposes--was considered school property and children had to comport to the code of conduct of the school.

I would be tempted to report to the school. Not necessarily to cause trouble--but b/c I am not their parent, they need to be counseled on how to behave appropriately, and I'm not going to approach parents I don't know to tell them what their kids are doing when they aren't doing it to me directly. I'd be reporting it for a safety issue. I would not remain silent and I am not comfortable with speaking with strangers about their children. People tend to get weird when you suggest that their perfect child isn't behaving.

I would be tempted--but I'm not sure what I would actually do. If I am not mistaken, schools can have jurisdiction over the bus stop.

 

[hambirg]

I haven't read all the other posts. I do sympathize with you. . .we had neighbors that would let their 3 yr old daughter wander out by the street and I felt obligated to watch her, because I didn't want anything to happen to her. I also understand the MYOB crowd. I think they are old enough to go to the bus stop by themselves.

BUT. . .if you really want action. . forget the school, forget their parents. . .talk to the bus driver! All it takes is one call from transportation to the parents saying if your kids can't behave at the bus stop, they are off the bus, to change things.

 

[Kathi OD]

So if a person is driving down the street and a child runs out in front of their car it is the driver's fault....how about the kid who ran out in front of them! Somehow I think people's attitudes would change if one of the kids gets hit by a car, or if someone approaches them in a car and tries to abduct them.

I don't know where the OP lives, but I live on Long Island and cannot imagine letting a 7 year old walk on their own and wait at the bus stop. In fact, it is not allowed in our school district. If at the end of the day there is not a parent or authorized adult at the bus stop to pick them up the child is driven back to the school. They are only allowed off the bus alone after 5th grade.

they'd be taking my kids back to school every. single. day. If I think my kids are mature enough to walk home from the bus stop, then they're old enough. I'm surprised that some parent hasn't fought the district on this issue.

I'm not going to touch the issue of parents being at the bus stop...I'm a SAHM, and I've driven my kids to school every day of their lives (my oldest is now a senior)...I enjoy the extra time with them, and they seem to enjoy it too, and I'm lucky to be able to do it.

ANYWAY, regarding the unsupervised, and somewhat unruly kids at the bus stop who are putting themselves in danger, trespassing and being destructive...if it were me, I'd make a non-emergency call to my local police department, and talk to an officer about it. Perhaps an officer could observe the bus stop one morning. I bet a police officer talking to these kids about safety and not destroying other people's property would have an effect on them. Anyway, just a thought.

Probably the best idea put forth.

I think the school is only responsible for the kids when they are on the bus

It depends on the state. In some states the bus stop is considered school property.

Sometimes,there are district rules. We have a shuttle bus stop that has more than 100 kids is a big parking lot. The rules state that the kids must be taken to the bus by a parent, literally walked over, not just staying in your car. And you must be out by the bus to greet them when they are dropped off.

So because the district created an unsafe situation by choosing to have a bus stop that serves over 100 students at the same time, parents need to be inconvenienced by picking up their children at the bus stop? I'd be organizing the revolt.

 

[DisneyScraps]

I would stay out of it. If they stomp in your yard say something otherwise they are not your kids and you can't police the world.

In my neighborhood kids that age walk themselves to the elementary school. We have a really nice neighborhood with a lot of foot traffic. People walking dogs, going to school, jogging. I would let me DD do it if she went to the public school.

Lisa

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would MYOB and I would tell child to go to the bathroom when they get to school.

If they pee their pants then they will learn to go to the bathroom before they leave the house.

The only time the school cares about students at the bus stop with parents is K, so calling the school and reporting would do nothing in my district here.

(editing post at the end to be more clear)

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

Really, they go to the bus stop at that young an age?

I walked 10 blocks down a busy street to school with my neighbor grades 1-4. (Walked with my brother when I was in kindergarten)

FWIW, if they continue to trounce all over the yards, the property owner needs to notify the school of the destruction. Create the paper trail. If it continues, then the school should, in theory, take appropriate action against the violators. A kid I grew up with was banned from riding the bus for a month because he couldn't behave while at our bus stop. He straightened up real quick after that suspension.

 

[descovy]

The "first" bus stop in my subdivision neighborhood, alot of parents walk their kids to the stop (some even drive them! and no, we're not talking rainy days)

They gossip, etc... I have a feeling it has more to do with socializing than keeping kids safe.

I know one who drives her 4th & 5th grader to the bus stop (3 blocks away) To each her own, I s'pose.

My bus stop is the 2nd stop. I happen to live 5 houses away from it. I send my kids age 10,8,6 out the door without me. I can see the stop from my house, and I can tell you, it's rare to see an adult at my stop... and most of the kids live a block or more away.

So by the standards of stop #1 in my neighborhood, I am a neglectful mom because I don't drive them to the bus stop and wait with them.

But by standards of stop #2 in the same neighborhood, I'm perfectly normal!

Next year my oldest will be in Jr Hi, and will have to go to bus stop #1. I guess I'll be expected to wait at the stop there in order to not be percieved as a bad parent... even though little sisters will go to bus stop #2 unsupervised!!!