Is there a nice way to say no siblings....

[merryweather20]

Actually we have been to pool parties as well and the parents were required to stay too. this was at the Y and also at a local hotels where the pools were rented for a set amount of time.

OK...you are right the wedding thing is right assuming a 5 year old would get a wedding invitation addressed to jsut them.

Nope, it appears you missed the point. An invitation is an invitation regardless. Only the person(s) to whom it is addressed should expect the hospitality of the party.

 

[Minniemouse07]

Yes, you are! Bye staying you are crashing on the hospitality uninvited. It doesn't matter what you assume the costs to you staying are or what you plan on eating or doing by staying uninvited you ARE asking for those things.

When I host dd's birthday parties I EXPECT all parents to come.. and stay. In fact I would think it odd if they didn't stay.. and I'm sure the reverse is true. Dd's parties are not babysitting services!

Next year will be the first year we don't have a bday party for dd (I'm taking her to WDW for a mom and me trip!!) but the summer she turns 8yo, we will be having a Y swim party. After this thread I will make sure the invitations state that parents need to attend, just so there isn't any confusion.

Here is a good rule of thumb... if you are comfortable leaving your child home unsupervised, then they are old enough to attend a party by themselves!

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

When I host dd's birthday parties I EXPECT all parents to come.. and stay. In fact I would think it odd if they didn't stay.. and I'm sure the reverse is true. Dd's parties are not babysitting services!

Next year will be the first year we don't have a bday party for dd (I'm taking her to WDW for a mom and me trip!!) but the summer she turns 8yo, we will be having a Y swim party. After this thread I will make sure the invitations state that parents need to attend, just so there isn't any confusion.

Here is a good rule of thumb... if you are comfortable leaving your child home unsupervised, then they are old enough to attend a party by themselves!

I disagree because they will be supervised at a party and they won't be alone. At home alone? Thats a whole different thing. IMO.

 

[britincanada]

As a mom of 2 and owner of an indoor play area & party centre I have LOTS of experience of 'party extras'.

When you have a party at a location, you are charged by the head - my play area charges only for the children, but the other in our area also charge for the adults. One solution I have found, as a play area owner / manager is to get the party parents to provide a list of the 1st names of the invited children. We ask on arrival if they wish to pay for siblings (some do). Then when 'little Johnny' turns up with a sibling, we are able to say 'okay, Johnny is on the guest list, if your other child is staying there is an admission fee of $XX'. If you are having a party at a location, maybe suggest this.

I am having my 'DS about to be 6' party next week, and i am surprised at how many parents have either not replied (don't they know what RSVP means?) and of those that have several have asked to bring siblings along. They do not know that I own the play area (he just started kindergarten)! The party is 5-7pm so I am providing dinner for the kids, and now have to provide extra for the siblings too! It hasn't even been a case of them saying they don't have anyone to watch the other child, just that it would be fun for them to come too! I already have the whole class invited & 11 friends!

Where I live (Montreal, Canada) once the kids are in school the majority of parents 'drop & run'. (Some don't even want to speak to the hosting parent - they just want to send them through the gate & leave!) Most seem happier to do this in a more public place (such as a play area) as there are more people around & it is much less likely for anything untoward to happen.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Yes, you are! Bye staying you are crashing on the hospitality uninvited. It doesn't matter what you assume the costs to you staying are or what you plan on eating or doing by staying uninvited you ARE asking for those things.

Well then I think you are a really bad host if you think I or any parent are going to leave a 4 year old with a bunch of people in charge that I don't know at any location. If you think that is wrong then so be it. I am not staying for the pizza and cupcakes. I am staying to ensure the safety and well being of my child that I have no idea if you can guarantee.

 

[Minniemouse07]

Well then I think you are a really bad host if you think I or any parent are going to leave a 4 year old with a bunch of people in charge that I don't know at any location. If you think that is wrong then so be it. I am not staying for the pizza and cupcakes. I am staying to ensure the safety and well being of my child that I have no idea if you can guarantee.

 

[MSSANDRA]

Well, in our area it is the moms that do not stay that get talked about. i am talking preschool through middle elementry at least. It is just assumed and host plan food for all. We did mostly pool parties when DS was younger at our county club type pool and we always planned parents into our numbers. By middle school these parties became drop off but most parents walked down and checked in and often came back early to visit and most times we invited parents back for cake and ice cream at the end of the party.
I agree that while sibblings might be an issue someplaces (we always welcomed sibblings), Parents are another story. There is NO WAY i would drop off at any of the large play areas when DS was younger no matter how well i knew the parents. We are small town south so maybe it is differnt other places.

 

[tinkandpan]

Where we live, it is the moms who drop and run who get the bad rap rather than the others who stay. I'm talking kids in early elementary, I think up until about age 8 or so. Siblings are a big issue and many invitations have a statement that said, we are so sorry but due to space limitation, siblings should be left at home- please let us know if this will be a problem. (and then perhaps if there is a problem, it can be handled on an individual basis.) None of the moms expect food, many times we get it, sometimes we don't usually I bring my own water etc and am there to talk to the other moms and watch our kids.

 

[gris gris]

OP here - this is what I ended up putting on the invite. Thanks for all your help!

"Space is limited due to aquarium rules. Please let me know in advance if you might need to bring a sibling so I can determine if there is room. Thank you!"

We'll see how it goes. Now I have to figure out if we can cut this guest list down. Thankfully we're not having food - just cake but it will be a big one.

Now that there's been this debate about dropping off vs. not dropping off, I'm interested to see how many get dropped off and how many stay at our party. I never really thought about it before. When I bring DD to parties, sometimes I stay, sometimes I don't. It depends where it is and who the party child is.

 

[Mkrop]

Yes, you are! Bye staying you are crashing on the hospitality uninvited. It doesn't matter what you assume the costs to you staying are or what you plan on eating or doing by staying uninvited you ARE asking for those things.

Well I am glad I dont live in Ontario bc around here parents are never discouraged to attend, it is about the child and their comfort and safety first. And all of the party places around here including the local pools only charge per kid or a flat fee so no I am not imposing on anyone! And I done feel that way about parents when I am the host.

 

[justhat]

I think for me the real horror would be if my daughter's friends were dropped off at one of her birthday parties! I just would not want the sole responsibility of watching my own 2 kids and 10-15 others. And I used to work in a daycare before my kids were born, so I have experience with watching groups of kids. Just doesn't really allow time for me to enjoy the party with my child, take adequate photos, be a good host, etc. I'd be running around like crazy the whole time. Luckily for me, only 1 or 2 kids are generally dropped off at a party here, and those parents carpool with another so the driving parent is usually in charge of the dropped off kid.