is it wrong to want a simple Thanksgiving?

[Trish Bessette]

I don't get the problem.

You invite your mom for dinner, you have the menu you want, she brings the things she want, dinner is served, you wrap up or put the lid on her dishes with her leftovers and send them home--don't even have to buy plastic, put them back in or leave them in the dishes she brought them in. Seems simple enough to me. And everyone is happy.

Who ever said that if someone brings something to your house that you have to keep the leftovers? or that you even have to eat it? and as far as how to heat it up--ask her, there can't be too many choices on it.

I totally agree What's the issue

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

So the "loved one" has to have it their way or the highway?

No, but a loved one has the right to expect to be treated with love and respect. Some of the suggestions in this thread fail miserably to deliver either. Deciding to host a dinner party is not the same thing as deciding to host a traditional event or holiday. One infers a menu to be chosen by the host - the other infers something different to every person/family based on their history.

Life is too short to get caught up in stuff like this. If a tiny sacrifice can be made to make another happy, why not make it? And if that person is a loved one, really LOVED, I can't see not making it.

 

[luvsJack]

So the "loved one" has to have it their way or the highway?

Nope but niether does the host. There is such a thing as compromise. A good hostess makes her guests/loved ones AND their contributions to the meal feel welcome.

Why does everything have to be such an issue?

 

[shortbun]

So the "loved one" has to have it their way or the highway?

Seems like SOMEONE will have it that way, why not the 'loved one?'

Honestly, I don't see the big deal about people helping to cook the meal. I've hosted many, many meals and parties. If someone wants to bring something because they like it, no big deal. Why would you endorse rigidity over love?
Really?

 

[TDC Nala]

I figure if it's at your house and you are cooking it, have it the way you want it, Mom can bring anything she wants but she is also taking what's left of it home with her. And whatever you do don't tell her that if she doesn't like it she can visit your brother.

 

[Handbag Lady]

We are having a Thanksgiving for two.

And I'm thrilled!

No getting dressed and in the car and driving down the blessed 405 freeway for 40 minutes that takes sometimes an hour and a half and no dry turkey and no trying to be nice (my parents are divorced and don't talk so we usually have to have TWO Thanksgivings 5 miles apart from each other) and then not being able to have any wine since I'm driving and NO getting yelled at for eating the appetizers because well, those are for guests.

I THINK I will do Thanksgiving in my pajamas. Football will be on the TV and we'll have all sorts of appetizers to actually eat.

Now, who can teach me how to make a turkey? I think I will do another post for this.

 

[wvjules]

Agree with this 100%. Guests are just that, guests. No need to try and take over.

Am I the only one that doesn't see Mom, or family, as guests? They are family, for crying out loud. It isn't a work dinner party with acquaintances. It is a holiday that you are SHARING with your family and loved ones.

 

[wvjules]

They're still guests in the OP's home.

I NEVER want my family to feel like guests in my home.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

They're still guests in the OP's home.

In my "world", loved ones are not guests. My home is their home. And this doesn't just apply to family - we have several friends who also have keys to our home (and our hearts).

Maybe that is the disconnect. Some people just aren't as close to their family as others.

I could never deny my mother such a simple request. The thought wouldn't even enter my mind.

 

[mhsjax]

In my "world", loved ones are not guests. My home is their home. And this doesn't just apply to family - we have several friends who also have keys to our home (and our hearts).

Maybe that is the disconnect. Some people just aren't as close to their family as others.

I could never deny my mother such a simple request. The thought wouldn't even enter my mind.

I agree 100%. I want all of my friend's and family to feel very welcome in my home. I tell them to help themselves to whatever they want and to make themselves at home. I hate going to some one's house and being made to feel like you aren't welcome. If that is the case, then don't invite me.