Is it wrong to spank your child?

[Sandy22]

 

[Sandy22]

 

[Sandy22]

 

[Sandy22]

 

[THESCHULTZFIVE]

No, its not a real situation. But I have seen a group of 10 year old boys who WEREN'T SPANKED "Because boys will be boys.") tie rocks to a kittens tail and drown it in a bucket laughing their heads off because "No one will do anything but yell at us or try to ground us anyway" I was 15 when I saw that.

They may need psychiatric help thats true but so what? You take them after the fact? They need discipline NOW, not weeks down the road.

Not to mention the news report of a group of 8 year olds that beat a cat to death with two by fours "because no one would do anything anyway".

Or how about the 5 year old I saw on the news that started the house on fire playing with mom's lighter even though she has repeatedly taken it away from him.

Yes, not spanking works oh so wonderfully with every child because you know, all kids will just listen to what their parents tell them to do because... why? Because the parents say so or because a toy will get taken away? Oh yes, that works wonders if your kid is just one of those rotten apples that doesn't know the difference.

Is that what you think those children are "rotten apples"? They may need pychiatric help, but so what? You don't think it would be a good idea to find out why a child would drown a kitten? I agree that there should be some consequences, but look at the big picture. Let's say this child needs "help", do you think spanking them will be the "help" they need and will be fine from that point on? I don't know how old those boys were, it sounds like alot of pieces to that puzzle are missing. In your example of a 5 y/o with a lighter, perhaps it would have been a good idea to keep lighters, matches, other harmful things away from small children. Yes, not spanking does work...why you ask, for different reasons. For my oldest DD who is 8, mostly talking to her works b/c it makes since. In fact, I can normally ask her some questions and she can figure out the right thing to do on her own(which is our goal right? To lead her into becoming a fully functioning, self-reliant adult). With my 3 y/o, she mostly listens because of incentives. She knows at 3 she will have more privledges if she cooperates. I should paint the words If/Then on my front door because thats how things mostly work here. If you/Then I'll.
I never said I have all the answers, I haven't encountered all situations, nobody has. But I know that's it's possible to raise a child with discipline that dosen't involve hitting them and I'm committed to do that. No matter how much of my time I have to spend thinking of new things or reading books or talking to other parents.

 

[Sandy22]

 

[Sandy22]

 

[Sandy22]

 

[totalia]

You could have let out a huge yell, or picked him up really quickly to get his attention, or made some kind of startling noise.

And you should really baby proof your house (even if you only babysit occasionally) and cover those electrical sockets. Not allowing a toddler to play with a fork is another idea!

Part of good parenting involves being proactive and not letting situations escalate or allow for them to be created in the first place (ie - childproofing or allowing for choices instead of a yes/no response from my child).

I did yell. You know what he did? Just looked at me and gave me this grin like "I dare you to do something about it."

Btw, my house IS babyproofed. Did you just ignore what I said? Let me repeat for your benefit... he pulled out the plug for the vcr.

Oh and the fork was not my idea. I turned my back and he grabbed it. Do you have eyes on the back of your head? I know I don't. If you do, then I want some too. That way I can know whats going on back there.

 

[Sandy22]

 

[tiggersmom2]

I beg to disagree.

Nice....you have to resort to personal attacks by calling another poster a monster.

 

[totalia]

Lol. if you ever get eyes on the back of your head, let me know how. That would be so helpful.

 

[Dare2Wish]

I don't spank, but I certainly respect other parent's right to spank. DD is a well-behaved kid. At 4, she has yet to do anything that I feel would require a spanking (knock on wood). What works for my DD, would not work for everyone's children. I don't think of myself as "Super Mom" because I can get by without spanking my child. I think that, as of now, I have lucked out in the behavior department. I know if I had 2 children, things would be a lot tougher. I can't believe how some people on this thread think they are so darn perfect. They know it all because they don't spank.

 

[robinb]

Oh yes, that works wonders if your kid is just one of those rotten apples that doesn't know the difference.

You are assuming that spanking works on the rotten apples ... as if it is the magic bullet that makes every child behave perfectly. Even disturbed 10 year olds who drown kittens. There was a lot more going on with those kids than not being spanked or paddled.

 

[robinb]

I can't believe how some people on this thread think they are so darn perfect. They know it all because they don't spank.

I think there are huge know-it-alls on both sides!

 

[Sandy22]

 

[Sandy22]

 

[MrsKreamer]

Well you obviously haven't read all the previous posts. You have to have thick skin to stick it out here.

Just curious....what do you call people who abuse their children?

there is a difference between abuse and spanking!

 

[Sandy22]

 

[MrsKreamer]

Do you define spanking as hitting your children with a belt? Many states consider that abuse.

I don't think it matters what I define spanking as...you clearly think that all spanking is child abuse and think I am a monster for even considering it.