Is it wrong to spank your child?

[birdiesunshine]

I'll ignore the implied insult and answer: a spanking is as "regular" as the misbehavior which is known to be spankable. In the context I said it, "regular" was being contrasted with "a swat for safety reasons" or something like that. If the kids do something that earns a spanking, they get a spanking--as a punishment, not because there's an immediate safety problem or because we don't know what else to do.

Ohhhhhh so you didn't mean to use the word regularly. I get it now So strange that your children would be needing a "regular swat" as you put it for safety reasons. Maybe you should just keep a better eye on them. Or how about this, try using your words.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Ohhhhhh so you didn't mean to use the word regularly. I get it now So strange that your children would be needing a "regular swat" as you put it for safety reasons. Maybe you should just keep a better eye on them. Or how about this, try using your words.

This is just rude, obnoxious and a pathetic attempt at distorting his/her words. I think it's obvious what he/she was trying to say. You are entitled to your opinion like everyone else, but don't resort to grasping at straws because someone doesn't agree with your view.

 

[birdiesunshine]

This is just rude, obnoxious and a pathetic attempt at distorting his/her words. I think it's obvious what he/she was trying to say. You are entitled to your opinion like everyone else, but don't resort to grasping at straws because someone doesn't agree with your view.

I disagree. I used their words correctly. No one should "regularly" spank their child. End of story.

 

[Planogirl]

I disagree. I used their words correctly. No one should "regularly" spank their child. End of story.

That is just your opinion and I'm sure that everyone respects that. People use "regular" forms of discipline whether it's removing privileges, time outs or spankings. I agree that your implications come across as very rude.

For the record, I didn't spank but only because other methods worked well with DS. I would never imply that spankings are abusive.

 

[lw49033]

birdie, you didn't even understand what I said about the "safety reasons", you interpreted it as the opposite. So it's doubtful you understood anything else.

TY Chris.

 

[dis ms.]

This is just rude, obnoxious and a pathetic attempt at distorting his/her words. I think it's obvious what he/she was trying to say. You are entitled to your opinion like everyone else, but don't resort to grasping at straws because someone doesn't agree with your view.

I think lw49033 has remained civil throughout this. I don't see where she's resorted to twisting words and petty insults. I can't say the same for all of the people who disagree with her.

 

[birdiesunshine]

That is just your opinion and I'm sure that everyone respects that. People use "regular" forms of discipline whether it's removing privileges, time outs or spankings. I agree that your implications come across as very rude.

For the record, I didn't spank but only because other methods worked well with DS. I would never imply that spankings are abusive.

With all due respect, now you are twisting my words. I never implied spanking is abusive in any of my posts. I clearly said that if you "regularly" need spank your child for any reason you need to start doing something differently as it apparently isn't working.

 

[birdiesunshine]

birdie, you didn't even understand what I said about the "safety reasons", you interpreted it as the opposite. So it's doubtful you understood anything else.

TY Chris.

You said you regularly spank your kids, is that correct or incorrect? If you regularly spank them would you agree they are not listening to you?

 

[lw49033]

TY dis, plano and chris.

For the third time...my kids get punished as regularly as they do something that is punishable. I don't see how that makes me different than any conscientious parent. The difference is simply, we spank (and ground, etc.) while other parents do other things.

 

[birdiesunshine]

I hope you realize that a "regular spanking expected in ordered discipline" is also not child abuse, unless the kid is getting beaten black and blue or something like that.

We're "regular" spankers, raised by regular spankers, and doing quite all right.

Sorry but this is what I read that made me post what I did. I think it's clear as a bell.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

I clearly said that if you "regularly" need spank your child for any reason you need to start doing something differently as it apparently isn't working.

So if timeouts, restrictions and other forms of discipline don't work either, what other methods do you suggest? I'm really open to suggestions because I'm always looking for new ways to become a better parent.

 

[Art Vandalay]

So if timeouts, restrictions and other forms of discipline don't work either, what other methods do you suggest? I'm really open to suggestions because I'm always looking for new ways to become a better parent.

 

[birdiesunshine]

So if timeouts, restrictions and other forms of discipline don't work either, what other methods do you suggest? I'm really open to suggestions because I'm always looking for new ways to become a better parent.

There's a book called Children the Challenge it has a lot of helpful tips about raising children.

 

[lw49033]

Sorry but this is what I read that made me post what I did. I think it's clear as a bell.

It's clear as a bell when you know what it was a response to:

Honestly, I think a swat in a safety situation is warranted if nothing else works. BUT- a swat is very different than a regular spanking expected in ordered discipline.

 

[Planogirl]

TY dis, plano and chris.

For the third time...my kids get punished as regularly as they do something that is punishable. I don't see how that makes me different than any conscientious parent. The difference is simply, we spank (and ground, etc.) while other parents do other things.

I'm on your side. I didn't spank but I see nothing wrong with using it as a disciplinary tool.

ETA: I read TY as To. It's early. Anyway, you know I'm on your side already so carry on.

 

[sha_lyn]

How would you feel if another adult hit you just because you didn't comply with his or her wishes. I believe that the law is very strict in America and that hitting another adult is classed as assault. So how come this is not the case when a parent hits (or smacks) their child.

How would you feel if another adult told you you couldn't have cookies until you ate dinner, you couldn't go have fun until you finished your work, told you if you didn't listen to them you had to go into time out etc?

Hmmm if you are spanking "regularly" I assume it's not working for you. Or do you just like spanking "regularly"??

If you need to spank regularly though then surely it means that it's not all that effective

So no of you have ever had to ground, put your children in time out etc more than once, especially for the same behavor. If you have, then it surely means that your method are not effective.

 

[Aidensmom]

I started this thread back in July, when my son was going through a very defiant stage. He was, in fact, probably spanked a couple of times a week at the time. It was what worked then. It was never a FIRST resort. It was not done out of anger. I did not abuse him. He is not afraid of me. I don't regret it.

Today, I really can't tell you the last time he was spanked, maybe it was a month ago, and it was a last resort. As a matter of fact, I hardly even have to put him in time out or any other form of discipline past saying "stop that" these days.

I have tried some of the other things suggested on this thread, and they do work in certain situations. However, sometimes I do believe a spanking is appropriate, and can be effective.

 

[birdiesunshine]

How would you feel if another adult told you you couldn't have cookies until you ate dinner, you couldn't go have fun until you finished your work, told you if you didn't listen to them you had to go into time out etc?



So no of you have ever had to ground, put your children in time out etc more than once, especially for the same behavor. If you have, then it surely means that your method are not effective.

That's not what I'm saying at all. I think it's the word "regularly" that's getting me.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

 

[tiggersmom2]

Ohhhhhh so you didn't mean to use the word regularly. I get it now So strange that your children would be needing a "regular swat" as you put it for safety reasons. Maybe you should just keep a better eye on them. Or how about this, try using your words.

Wow.....really rude and uncalled for.