Is it wrong to spank your child?

[glass-slipper]

That is only your opinion not a fact. Just as many of us have the opinion that your accusation is an exaggeration.

Since when is Webster's dictionary opinionary? Sorry, you have the opinion, I am stating a fact.Unless of course you are one of those people who make up their own definitions to suit themselves because they can't accept the reality.

Spank:to strike or hit with the open hand , esp. on the buttocks as in punishment. A blow or a slap.

courtesy of Webster's.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

I don't believe in spanking at all. It is absolutely unnecessary. IMO parents that are using spanking as a method of discipline need to brush up on their parenting skills and/or devote more time and effort to disciplining their children.

 

[Stitchfans]

IMO it is ok in some situations. But never when you are real angry cause that is when there is a chance of losing control

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Since when is Webster's dictionary opinionary? Sorry, you have the opinion, I am stating a fact.Unless of course you are one of those people who make up their own definitions to suit themselves because they can't accept the reality.

Spank:to strike or hit with the open hand , esp. on the buttocks as in punishment. A blow or a slap.

courtesy of Webster's.

Websters also defines the word "moron" as:

1. usually offensive : a mildly mentally retarded person
2 : a very stupid person

Now tell me, do you agree 100% with both of Websters definitions? Something tells me you might not answer that question.

To me, the difference between spanking and hitting is emotion and intent behind it. I've read about spanking vs. hitting in a study somewhere, but here it is in a nutshell:

Spanking: One or two spanks to the bottom
Beating/Hitting: To strike repeatedly (also kick, punch, choke)

The Intent
Training: To correct problem behavior
Violence: Physical force intended to injure or abuse

The Attitude
Spanking: With love and concern
Beating/Hitting: With anger and malice

The Effects:
Spanking: Behavioral correction
Beating/Hitting: Emotional and physical injury

So then it should be considered that:
Spanking = physical discipline in a controlled, planned manner.
Hitting = physical discipline in an uncontrolled, implulsive manner.

Websters can pound sand.

 

[glass-slipper]

Websters also defines the word "moron" as:

1. usually offensive : a mildly mentally retarded person
2 : a very stupid person

Now tell me, do you agree 100% with both of Websters definitions? Something tells me you might not answer that question.

To me, the difference between spanking and hitting is emotion and intent behind it. I've read about spanking vs. hitting in a study somewhere, but here it is in a nutshell:

Spanking: One or two spanks to the bottom
Beating/Hitting: To strike repeatedly (also kick, punch, choke)

The Intent
Training: To correct problem behavior
Violence: Physical force intended to injure or abuse

The Attitude
Spanking: With love and concern
Beating/Hitting: With anger and malice

The Effects:
Spanking: Behavioral correction
Beating/Hitting: Emotional and physical injury

So then it should be considered that:
Spanking = physical discipline in a controlled, planned manner.
Hitting = physical discipline in an uncontrolled, implulsive manner.

Websters can pound sand.

So am I to infer that you are calling me a moron or is your example choice irrelevant? Regardless, whether I agree with the definition or not is irrelevant because the definition is what it is whether I like it or not.

You can call it whatever you like to make it sound better so it isn't as offensive, but, "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet."

 

[ChrisnSteph]

So am I to infer that you are calling me a moron or is your example choice irrelevant? Regardless, whether I agree with the definition or not is irrelevant because the definition is what it is whether I like it or not.

You can call it whatever you like to make it sound better so it isn't as offensive, but, "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet."

No, I'm not calling you a moron. It just happens to be a word that had been discussed on this board just recently as having a definition that's not only outdated, but insulting. I'm just pointing out that some people view hitting and spanking as two different things, regardless of what good ol' Websters says.

 

[dalek]

Simple answer to the OP, yes.

 

[jenm2878]

DIE THREAD!! DIE!!!!

 

[TENIA66]

I am a mother of three, 11, 5, and 1. Spanking certainly has a place in our discipline regime. It is determined on the severity of the offense (health, safety, welfare) as well as the frequency and failed other methods. I have found that spanking by itself is inadequate and a spanking is usually additional to the other actions taken. I don't presume to be mother of the year, and probably wouldn't even be allowed on the bus with the mother of the year, but my kids are wonderful kids and occassionally I have to get their attention and change their behavior, and to not use all the disciplinary resources available to me as a parent (including spanking) is not in the best interest of my kids.

 

[glass-slipper]

No, I'm not calling you a moron. It just happens to be a word that had been discussed on this board just recently as having a definition that's not only outdated, but insulting. I'm just pointing out that some people view hitting and spanking as two different things, regardless of what good ol' Websters says.

Well, the moron thing is nice to know I was using Webster's to prove a point that I wasn't stating merely opinion as I was accused of by another poster. In your previous post, you describe spanking as one or two spanks to the bottom. But, WHAT is spanking? Do you caress your child's bottom, do you touch your child's bottom ,do you pinch your child's bottom or do you smack/ hit your child's bottom? Really, regardless of whether it is insulting or not, or whether you decide to agree or not, simply you have to hit to spank.


Oh, and this IS my opinion, but I think the act of spanking is what is outdated and insulting.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Oh, and this IS my opinion, but I think the act of spanking is what is outdated and insulting.

Perhaps, at least in your opinion. And maybe a lot of kids can be raised fairly easily without spanking. I can bet that if you came and lived with me for a few months (maybe even a few weeks or days...could be a few hours if those hours are in the car ) you'd be wondering why we don't spank our youngest more often. Different strategies work on different children. I wish that figuring out how to parent our DD, out firstborn could be applied to all of our other children. Would have saved us a lot of time and frustration. But no, they have to be born with different personalities, different temperaments, differ needs, different ways of driving their parents crazy.

 

[Miss Inga Depointe]

IMO people that use these statements don't have kids or if they do, are responsible for the high number of kids in the youth detention centers.

I'm a non-spanking mom with no kids ever in youth detention centers - ever!! In fact, they've turned out so great, but don't get me started on the mom brag........

 

[*Fantasia*]

DIE THREAD!! DIE!!!!

 

[glass-slipper]

Perhaps, at least in your opinion. And maybe a lot of kids can be raised fairly easily without spanking. I can bet that if you came and lived with me for a few months (maybe even a few weeks or days...could be a few hours if those hours are in the car ) you'd be wondering why we don't spank our youngest more often. Different strategies work on different children. I wish that figuring out how to parent our DD, out firstborn could be applied to all of our other children. Would have saved us a lot of time and frustration. But no, they have to be born with different personalities, different temperaments, differ needs, different ways of driving their parents crazy.

I agree that different strategies work on different children, I just don't think spanking is the answer. JMO. I didn't spank my 2 children who were born with different personalities, different temperments and different needs. They have yet to drive me crazy

 

[Aidensmom]

As the OP of this thread, who posted it by the way, MONTHS AGO, my question is why did someone sign up with a new user name just to revive it? I find that very strange....

And in case anyone is wondering, yes, I do still spank my son if it is warranted, meaning that all other forms of discipline are not working. Time out is NOT effective if your child hits you when you send them there. If he is sent to time out, and acts out in this way, he gets a threat of a spanking. That is usually enough to stop the behavior. However, sometimes he has his days where he wants to push, and he does get spanked.

I will also say that some of the non-spankers on this thread have given some very good advice which I have been using, and the "need" for a spanking has greatly diminished because of that.

I, however, am the mother of a very stubborn, strong-willed, too-smart-for-his-own-good child. As I was one of those myself, I can tell you that sometimes a spanking is all that is effective.

Can we let this thread die now? Non-spankers are not going to change their minds, and either are spankers. Both groups have decided what kind of discipline works best for their child, and that is each individual's decision.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I agree that different strategies work on different children, I just don't think spanking is the answer. JMO. I didn't spank my 2 children who were born with different personalities, different temperments and different needs. They have yet to drive me crazy

And if I had of stopped with 2 children I would have been in good shape. And my 3rd child has not only never been spanked, but I've never even been the least bit tempted. And yes, my first three children are all very different. Then I had Jake. I joke that my 4th was God's way of making sure that I didn't have 5 children. Truthfully, if I had of had only my first 3 children I would have very much agreed with you. Of course I wouldn't trade my youngest for anything and he is a wonderful boy (he was NOT listed on my regrets thread ). It's hard to expain unless you have a child with the very difficult personality. BTW, my sister's 4th child was VERY much like mine and he is now an astro-physics major at BYU and has grown into a wonderful young man. So I know that my son's personality will serve him very well when he is grown.

 

[lw49033]

Spankings work for some kids, some of the time. Other kids, they don't faze. All unspanked kids are not brats or delinquents, and all parents who spank are not mean abusers. People need to be a little more generous with each other instead of assuming the worst.

 

[Duckfan-in-Chicago]

Spankings work for some kids, some of the time. Other kids, they don't faze. All unspanked kids are not brats or delinquents, and all parents who spank are not mean abusers. People need to be a little more generous with each other instead of assuming the worst.

I love when someone's first post on the DIS is bringing up a thread from 5 months ago. It makes so much sense!

 

[L107ANGEL]

I love when someone's first post on the DIS is bringing up a thread from 5 months ago. It makes so much sense!

Makes you wonder who reincarnated

 

[snowwite]

IMO people that use these statements don't have kids or if they do, are responsible for the high number of kids in the youth detention centers.

I happen to have children and I do not spank them. I dont think it is fair for you to categorize all parents who disagree with your parenting style in this manner. They are well behaved and my daughter is near the top of her class and neither one is hardly a bad kid headed for youth detention center. I do not have to agree with people striking thier kids.In my opinion spanking does not teach right from wrong it teaches that bigger people can hurt you because they are bigger. Fear and respect are not the same.Would you think it is ok for your spouse to hit you? Of course not , right? So what makes it ok to hit your kids? Quotes like the one you made are insensitive and hurtful to parents who take a non violent appraoach to parenting. I am all for children learning by example and consequences fr bad behavior. IMHO that does not include spanking.