Is it weird my son wants to do BBB as a princess?

[KLVSA]

I think the fact that you need to ask gives you your answer.

 

[skier_pete]

It's not weird that your son wants to do it, but I find it a little strange that you would let him.

Would you put your son in a dress and send him to daycare just because he asked to you? I don't think it is an issue of sexual identity or anything - way to young for that. It just seems inappropriate. I would just say to him "Girls dress like princesses, boys dress as princes." and leave it at that.

 

[torinsmom]

I think it is a bit odd, not in a "wrong" way but if I saw a little boy walking around in a princess dress at Disney I'd notice and think to myself "huh, that's kind of weird but whatever".

Keep in mind that while he might be too young to care now those pictures will be around forever (especially if you make the mistake of posting them online) and at some point down the road he might regret doing it if the pictures make it out.

ITA with this whole post. My son would kill me if I posted the pics of him playing dress up, and he was only 2 then I would take him to the barbershop and get all the colored gel and confetti. Paint his nails if he wants as well. I would definitely do a double take if I saw a boy this age dressed as a princess, but I would not be rude.

 

[deegack]

If he wants to and you are willing to pay for it I say go for it. I don't see it any different than girls dressed as buZz lightyear or woody or a pirate. At four usually the only physical difference between the sexes are the *****/****** and the length of hair. My nephew us to carry a purse everywhere at that age. He was not scarred for life.

 

[beansmom]

Sillyoldbear,

totally off topic but I sent you a PM.

 

[wishiwereindisney]

IMHO your child will be who he or she is or wants to be and the real difference is whether or not you support him and give him unconditional love. only you know how important this issue is to your son and whether it is worth the possibility that he may gets some comments in the parks but if it makes him truly happy then i say go for it. as to whether it's "weird" - different maybe but our differences is what makes the world great!

 

[Gracedis1]

My son is five and has dressed up many times in his sister's dress up clothes. He thinks it's fun. However, he doesn't ask to go outside in them. I'm not sure what I would do if he asked. He knows the differences between boys and girls, and how most boys don't wear dresses, etc. I would hate for your son to be made fun of during a vacation. There are some opinionated people out there. Good luck with your decision. You sound like a great mom!

 

[LaurenT]

My daughter had a friend in pre school who always went straight for the heels, pocketbook and apron in the toy room. At that age, the only people who noticed it was unusual were the adults...and none of us thought it was bad (at least I don't think so).
I think he'd be fine being cinderella...and at 4 hrs old, once he's all made up, would anyone even k ow he's really a boy?

 

[goofy4tink]

I'm very open minded as well...gotta love us Massachusetts people!! BUT...my concern would be other people's reactions while in WDW. Yes, many little boys go through a period, at this age, where they love to play dress up, even in Mommy's clothes. And there isn't anything wrong with that. But, what is going to happen when you get to WDW, you pay a ton of money for the BBB experience for him, and once he gets out in the parks, 8 y/o's start making comments??? I'm not overly concerned with parental comments...they should be able to just close their mouths and keep their thoughts to themselves. But, young kids don't do that...they have a thought and out it pops!!! I can only imagine some of the comments your ds might get. Could even turn into a trip disaster.
As I used to tell my now 18 y/o dd...'You can march to the beat of a different drummer, just try to stay in the same band!' Kids are so nasty to each other that you just don't want to be too different at that age. And I have to say that dressing up as Cinderella at WDW, for a 4 y/o boy, is going to be construed as 'too different'.

 

[DisneyMomma81]

I might raise an eyebrow - I'm all for dressing up in the home, my nephew *almost 3 loves my purse, other nephew *5* loves painting his toe nails. Heck I'm cheap too - he has short hair? That's the big deal to me at BBB - getting your hair done. Let him wear the dress if he wants but I wouldn't spend a time on him at BBB.

 

[iwish81792]

And the judgement that a princess dress is "inappropriate" for a boy is no different than a mid-century judgement that pants were "inappropriate" for a little girl. Times change, and this is the start of it. It is not bad manners or bad etiquette.

Exactly. Especially at such a young age, where children are figuring out what makes them feel comfortable and special, it is so important to foster their choices. Besides, when they're young, you can barely tell if children are boys or girls anyway! Some of the comments in this thread are really bothering me, saying that they wouldn't let their son dress how he wanted out of the house or at Disney. It feels like the same silly argument people have for seeing two men or women kissing, the notion that "This is a family place!!!" and so anything they deem to be "abnormal" should be stopped. But seeing an adorable little boy dressed up as a princess isn't going to ruin your day.

 

[Tink_Or_Belle]

I would be way more freaked out by the poster who raised their kid to think it was ok to yell the "f" word at someone who made a mistake than one who lets their kid dress how he wants.

 

[policycobb]

No, I don't think it is weird for a four year old boy to want to do BBB. I do think he would be stared at and comments made. Sadly, it is more acceptable for a girl to do boy things than a boy to do girl things.

 

[goofy4tink]

Exactly. Especially at such a young age, where children are figuring out what makes them feel comfortable and special, it is so important to foster their choices. Besides, when they're young, you can barely tell if children are boys or girls anyway! Some of the comments in this thread are really bothering me, saying that they wouldn't let their son dress how he wanted out of the house or at Disney. It feels like the same silly argument people have for seeing two men or women kissing, the notion that "This is a family place!!!" and so anything they deem to be "abnormal" should be stopped. But seeing an adorable little boy dressed up as a princess isn't going to ruin your day.

Okay....I'm pretty sure that some of this is directed at me, or at others who may feel the same way.
I have a brother and a step-sister who have 'alternate lifestyles'...I get it, I truly do. My dd's prom date this spring was gay..one of her best buddies. Like I said, I am very open minded. And it certainly wouldn't 'ruin my day' if I saw a little boy dressed up as a princess. But, it just might ruin that little boys day, or his family's.
There are a lot of very intolerant people in this world, especially in this country. I find it a bit better to not give them ammunition. Dressing a 4 y/o little boy up in a Cinderella gown and doing the whole BBB thing is giving a lot of very nasty people ammunition!!! Do you really want a child to hear the things he is going to hear when doing that??? Are those comments right? Of course they aren't. But, people are people...and they will generally do exactly what you think they will do. And I can just imagine what that 4 y/o child is going to hear when walking through the park...10 y/o boys are not noted for their 'caring' thoughts, or their empathy!!! Some of the meanest stuff has been directed at boys who are trying to 'find themselves' right here in my town, in the schools, by boys of this age!!!
And that is nothing I would want to subject my child to at WDW. Yes, it is fine to nurture our children and allow them to 'find their way'...I get it, I really do. But since you can not mandate how others react, why give them ammunition???

I really would just tell my ds, at that age, that Disney says only girls can go to BBB and get dressed as Cinderella. I would tell him that Disney says people get too confused when they see boys that aren't pirates. Fair? No. Protective? Yes. My job as a parent is to protect my child. And if that means he doesn't get to dress up as Cinderella in WDW, so be it.

 

[Magpie]

For everyone's who's worried about the cruel comments other people would make to this child...

Would YOU be the one making those comments?
Do you have family members who would make those comments?
Do you actually know anyone personally who would?

People are not going to shriek in horror, point and laugh, or throw rotten tomatoes at the child. By and large, even if he's a manly-looking little four year old, people are going to assume he's a girl. If he announces loudly, "I'm a BOY!", they'll just laugh because they're surprised. Being four, he's going to happily assume everyone loves his dress, even if Mom and Dad catch a puzzled whisper or two in the background.

My daughter was born with a large haemangioma on her upper lip. It was... startling, to say the least. Strangers would stop and stare. They'd gasp. I'd hear, "Ew! What's with that kid's face???"

But my daughter? Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, she didn't notice. And when she did, she assumed they were being friendly. "Oh, you've noticed me! Hello! I'm great, aren't I?" Kids are awesome for that. If they feel loved, they're incredibly confident. And on the occasions I felt offended, I simply took her by the hand and said, "Come on, honey. We don't have to listen to this."

Personally, I can't think of a safer place to wear a princess dress than at Disney. No one knows him there. If you don't post your pictures to Facebook, no one will ever know. It's far less likely to have embarrassing consequences down the road for him, than, say, dressing up with his friends at home.

I don't think it's weird that a child of that age wants to dress in a girl's costume. However, what I do think is odd is the number of adults who think it's ok to allow a child to do whatever makes him feel good in public. There is a proper way to dress and behave in public, and it's my job as a parent to teach my children proper manners, etiquette, dress and conduct.

I agree. Certain outfits suit certain situations. Princess dresses are completely appropriate attire for Walt Disney World. They are not, however, appropriate for an ordinary school day, a job interview, or your Great Aunt's funeral.

And If i lived in times when pants were unacceptable for my girls, than you can bet that I would not allow them to be seen in public in them. There is a certain decorum that we adhere to. It has been my experience that those who subscribe to this philosophy get far in life. Your experience may be different and that's ok for you.

I'm forever grateful to young ladies like this one, for being brave and forward thinking enough to challenge "decorum". I love my blue jeans!

I'm also certain they got just as "far in life" as their more conservative sisters. Probably further.

so by your logic, you would like a future where our guys wear flowing, flouncy, lacy, satin, froufrou dresses as a norm? NO Thank you.

Or a past, in which our little boys were commonly dressed in lace and bows and gowns, and had their hair done in ringlets, until about age 5 to 7...

Really, what's odd is modern society's obsession with forcing young children into stereotyped sex roles - making all the baby boys into "real men" and the baby girls into "princesses".

OP - do as you please. If it'll make your son's day to be a princess, and you're willing to fork out the cash, why not? I really doubt anyone will say anything in his hearing, if they even realize he's a boy at all. Which they probably won't.

The CMs are paid to be nice, and most other folks are going to be too busy enjoying their vacations to pay any attention to you.

All I'd say to my son, if we were in this situation, is, "People are going to think you're a girl. Are you cool with that? Because if you go around dressed up like a princess, you can't get mad at them for not realizing you're a boy."

 

[laine&connorsmom]

So by your standards then, girls should not get a pirate makeover, because pirate=boy, right?

Yes, your views ARE narrow-minded. You are entitled to them, and of course you are entitled to raise your child however you wish.

I plan on raising children who are open and accepting of ALL people, not just the ones who they think are "dressed properly". Who are you to judge someone by their outward appearance? The kid wouldn't be naked, there's nothing "wrong" with wearing it.

Tell that to Rosa Parks. Some of the most influential people in the WORLD are the ones who dared to buck the rules and live life to the beat of their own drum.



Real men don't wear pants

Stargazertechie, I could not agree with you more!!

 

[YO's Mom]

And, I have to admit, my own girls would probably comment on his being there. Not in a cruel way, but just, "Mommy, he's a boy! He's not supposed to wear a dress!" or "Why is a boy dressing up like a girl?"

Ok, so I asked my girls this morning what they thought about this. Not surprisingly, the 6 year old said, "That's weird, Mommy. Cinderella is a girl." My 8 year old, on the other hand, said that while she might think it was weird, she definitely would NOT say anything out loud because, "Everybody has their differences, right Mommy?" I pleased to know that all our talks about respecting people and not judging them by their differences is getting through to her!

FWIW, with regard to those who say adults probably won’t say anything, I beg to differ. As I’ve mentioned before, my 6 year old is extremely small for her age. You would not believe the stupid, rude, insensitive things that have been said to her and in front of her. “What’s wrong with her?” “Is she a midget?” (For the record, no.) “Is she ever going to be normal sized?” – Yeah, adults can be idiots.

 

[mesaboy2]

There are a lot of very intolerant people in this world, especially in this country.

I don't think this is fair. I think if you compare the US to Europe, sure, you may have a point. But if you compare it to much of the rest of the world, I happen to think this country is pretty darn tolerant. And I'm pretty darn proud of that.

Really, what's odd is modern society's obsession with forcing young children into stereotyped sex roles - making all the baby boys into "real men" and the baby girls into "princesses".

Along a similar line of thought, I don't understand the assertion that "modern society" does this. As opposed to societies in the past? Surely over time we are moving in the direction of tolerance, no?

 

[nchulka]

Do not let him do this! Children want to do many things. As a parent it is your responsibility to teach them what is acceptable. By allowing him to get a girlie makeover you make boys dressing as girls acceptable in his developing mind. During the early years you are shaping his mindset on what is okay and not okay. Children want to eat junk food and keep all their toys to themselves, as parents we teach them to eat a balanced diet and to get along with others and share. If he wants to do something that goes against societal norms it is your job to take that opportunity to teach him what is acceptable and what is not. Boys dressing as girls is not okay and not accepted by society, he will have a much easier time learning this at 3 than if you shape his mind to believe it's okay and then he finds out the hard way when he's 7.

 

[Stoner]

Don't let all these people get you down. Your child is perfectly normal for wanting to dress up. And I also completely agree that anyone who says "It's fine, just not in public." is telling their child to be ashamed of their choices. Your child should never be ashamed of their choices in who they want to be. In fact your job as a parent is to defend them against the idiots who would say something to them. If my 5 year old wanted to wear a dress and some adult made a comment, at a disney park I would try my best to behave so my kids could enjoy disney. Outside of a disney park, well lets just leave that alone since this is family friendly. Anyway noone should ever tell you how your child should dress, that is up to you and your family. And you wanna talk about weird, there are people who purposely dress up their 3 year old girls in dresses and parade them around the stage like animals for pageants.