Is it rude to request Family party to start...(Update)

[Art 1]

I would consider it rude.

 

[PaulaSue]

To me 6 is late for a party to start. I have kids with school the next day and work for us.

 

[mumom95]

In the case of the OP though--the family member received a second invite to another soiree, so clearly--a 6pm gathering was not an issue in regards to being too late (until it conflicted with their new plans).

We don't know the family received a second invite, the OP is just speculating that's what happened.

 

[Buckalew11]

Update............ we compromised and made it 5pm

good for you.

I guess I'm different. We have 3 children are are expecting our 4th. What I posted reflected our current schedule. Except for the bowling league that was dropped when DH had to relocate for a job.

Likely you would have told the person that the 6pm time did not work for you given your circumstance.

In the case of the OP though--the family member received a second invite to another soiree, so clearly--a 6pm gathering was not an issue in regards to being too late (until it conflicted with their new plans).

Lisa, that is pure speculation on the OP's part. She does not know this for sure.
No little kids are invited anyway so maybe it was a babysitting issue or something.

 

[ReneeA]

I am comfortable enough with both my family and DH's that I would have no problem making that request; nor would I have a problem with someone requesting it of me. There are very few things that I consider really rude when it comes to family. I'd rather have them be open and honest about why they need something changed because there will come a time that I need something from them.


I'm glad there was a compromise on the OP's part.

 

[BelleWDW]

Ok....so we all get there at 5pm............the brother requesting (originally) that we start at 4pm........got there at 5 :20!!!!!!!

They were the first to leave....they told us they are getting "too old" to stay out late on a Sunday night

Their son-my nephew=didnt show. This is the only chance he has to get with one of the cousins who lives away and is his age.

Reason? He's an extra(not his career-an extra fun thing) in a low budget horror film and had to lay around looking dead all night....with no "face time" on the film tonight because he already has too much "face time". So he missed his Family Christmas gathering to have his back photographed.

 

[JerseyJanice]

Being 20 minutes late for a family party isn't a big deal in my family, but then our parties tend to last several hours. If yours was 2 hours tops, I guess they missed a lot.

If your nephew committed himself to acting in a film, he should be commended for keeping his commitment even though it caused him to miss a family shindig.

 

[aprilgail2]

That's how I felt - before having children. Now, I like everyone ready for bed and calmed down by 7 pm. My kids would sleep late every day if I let them, so I let to get back on a regular schedule on Sunday nights.

Holy cow- even the 11 and 10 year old?? Are all their after school activities early on weekdays? I don't even think that would be possible for us- my daughter just turned 10 and her age group has basketball from 8-9 on Thursdays and dance from 730-830 on wednesdays! Even the childrens programs in the library don't end until 9 and our school has evening events like movie nights etc that go till 830-9:00. Next year is even worse with basketball-my 10 year old will be in 6th grade and their court time is 9-10pm on Mondays!

 

[mkel34]

Holy cow- even the 11 and 10 year old?? Are all their after school activities early on weekdays? I don't even think that would be possible for us- my daughter just turned 10 and her age group has basketball from 8-9 on Thursdays and dance from 730-830 on wednesdays! Even the childrens programs in the library don't end until 9 and our school has evening events like movie nights etc that go till 830-9:00. Next year is even worse with basketball-my 10 year old will be in 6th grade and their court time is 9-10pm on Mondays!

Those times are ridiculous.The only practices I've seen with times like that are hockey practices/games due to limited ice times. Do you live in the city, where there is limited space? Between all the schools in my town there has to be somewhere in the area of 20-30 basketball courts. The last dance class at my daughter's studio ends at 9 and that is for the high schools girls.
Grades 5-6 last dance class ends at 7. Plus, its football season right now.

Back on topic, we would never have a family event that started at 4 or 6pm on a Sunday. The furthest I would have to travel for a family event would be about 5 miles and still wouldn't attend. Sunday is the one day the kids have no school events, practices, etc. and is the one day we actually have some relax time.

 

[luvmy3]

Being 20 minutes late for a family party isn't a big deal in my family, but then our parties tend to last several hours. If yours was 2 hours tops, I guess they missed a lot.

If your nephew committed himself to acting in a film, he should be commended for keeping his commitment even though it caused him to miss a family shindig.

Normally no but in the case of the OP the one that was late had requested an earlier start time. If you are going to do that and everyone agrees to accomodate you the very least you could do is show up on time.

 

[BelleWDW]

Normally no but in the case of the OP the one that was late had requested an earlier start time. If you are going to do that and everyone agrees to accomodate you the very least you could do is show up on time.

yeah-that was my point. They stayed an hour.

my other brother and i stayed to do all the clean up and put the h0use back like mom likes it. She is handicapped and lots of her stuff was put away for a more festive feel.

 

[BelleWDW]

If your nephew committed himself to acting in a film, he should be commended for keeping his commitment even though it caused him to miss a family shindig.

He was not an actor
an extra
actually a dead zombie-who only had his back filmed last night

Sorry.it was rude, IMO

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Also, you CAN be hungry at 4:00pm this far in advance. It might not be the time you like to eat dinner but you CAN make sure you are hungry if your party starts at 4. Just rearrange the other times you are eating beforehand and *walla*, you'll be hungry.

LMBO That's so funny...that's what I was thinking too. Stop eating ASAP and "walla"!

Is this the half dressed body building nephew whose pictures you monitor on FB? Or one of the relatives who is diabetic and requested food without sugar? You seem to have a lot of problems with relatives; if I were you JB I'd learn to go with the flow, or there's always going to be one more thing that annoys you about every family gathering. Or other parties, with people dating out of their age group.

 

[mjkacmom]

Holy cow- even the 11 and 10 year old?? Are all their after school activities early on weekdays? I don't even think that would be possible for us- my daughter just turned 10 and her age group has basketball from 8-9 on Thursdays and dance from 730-830 on wednesdays! Even the childrens programs in the library don't end until 9 and our school has evening events like movie nights etc that go till 830-9:00. Next year is even worse with basketball-my 10 year old will be in 6th grade and their court time is 9-10pm on Mondays!

Actually, dd8 has an evening activity every single weekday, getting home between 6:30 - 7:45. This is why I like everyone settled early on Sunday nights. Ds6 is a little hyperactive (I'm putting it mildly), and needs to have some wind-down time (ie - sit in front of the TV) before bed. Dd13 freaks out if she doesn't have the chance of 10 hours of sleep (she has no bedtime, but likes to be asleep by 9 - she gets up at 6 even though she doesn't leave for school until 8, to primp). When she's involved in a play, it's a nightmare, because she's not getting home until after 10.

Ds11 is on 2 basketball teams, but games are Saturday afternoons, and Sunday's at 6. Our town is blessed with a lot of facilities (5 figure property taxes fund a lot of grants from the state ), so we can facilitate a lot of activies without having them run late.

 

[tzolkin]

It's especially inconsiderate to show up late when you were the one who asked to change the time of the gathering. A few minutes late in general is not an issue, but I would think they would have been early in this case since they really wanted to start at 4:00.

Holy cow- even the 11 and 10 year old?? Are all their after school activities early on weekdays? I don't even think that would be possible for us- my daughter just turned 10 and her age group has basketball from 8-9 on Thursdays and dance from 730-830 on wednesdays! Even the childrens programs in the library don't end until 9 and our school has evening events like movie nights etc that go till 830-9:00. Next year is even worse with basketball-my 10 year old will be in 6th grade and their court time is 9-10pm on Mondays!

Practices until 10pm seem crazy to me. You have to drive home, probably have a snack, and get ready for bed after that. The kids wouldn't get to sleep until at least 11:30.

I thought my DD's chorus concert ended late and that was over before 8:30.

Our schools provide bussing for all after school activities that are through the school. They get home by 5:30-6:00 on those nights.

My kids (including DD turning 11 next month) go to bed by 8:30. She would not be able to participate in activities that went that late because she just doesn't function well without sleep. I have the kind of kids who will just put themselves to bed if we're having a party even if they're allowed to stay up.

 

[BelleWDW]

Practices until 10pm seem crazy to me. You have to drive home, probably have a snack, and get ready for bed after that. The kids wouldn't get to sleep until at least 11:30.

I thought my DD's chorus concert ended late and that was over before 8:30.

.

I agree-even with a teen. There is no way my child would be out that late on a school night.

 

[bgirl29]

Is it just family? In that case not rude, just people who love each other trying to make all of the Christmas things fit together. You are just as welcome to say to sib - nope 4 doesn't work for me. I truly believe there needs to be less formality when we get together with family to say how much we love them.

Another option would be to go ahead and get together at 4, do the visiting, presents, and such -and then still eat at 6.

I totally agree with this. I think with family we should be able to be way more informal with each other than inviting say your boss over for dinner. Being open to discuss why you want to have the party at 6 and why they want it at 4 would be nice, instead of assuming that they had another offer come along. Maybe they are starving by 6 and just want to start the party sooner so that you actually eat sooner? Not trying to sound rude or anything but just suggestion a little communication could go along ways.