Is it rude to ask people to remove their.....

[Minnesota!]

What I was trying to imply earlier is that if I ask you to please remove your shoes, and you don't, and also don't offer an explanation, I will see you as ill mannered. If I ask, and you say, "I'd rather not, I have some funk going on", or "I am not comfortable without shoes", fine. But to just ignore my request without explanation is rude.

For the record, since I wanted to see if MN is really that odd, I called/e-mailed some friends. They are from Ohio, Michigan, Colorado, Florida, California, Indiana, Illinois and Maryland. All thought on the same lines as myself - that it is rude to not remove your shoes when entering someone elses house. And none of them are from MN originally.

I would say it is done to avoid dirt, and to be comfy. I truly do not understand how people can be comfy in shoes. Like I said earlier, I kick them off as soon as I get home, anywhere I go (I also take ALL my jewelry off as soon as I get home, can't stand the extras on me), and even here at work, I kick them off under my desk and only put them on when I have to go out of the area. I have no problem walking around in socks/stockings here. And it is a very corporate company. Just what we are all accustomed (I know I spelled that wrong) too, and what we are all comfortable with.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Originally posted by tkyes
I might think for a second that you were a bit ill-mannered, but I would also realize that you have your reasons and not give the issue another thought. As I would think you would if the tables were reversed.

tkyes, again...I was responding to the way Minnesota said that unless there is a "good" reason, that it's considered rude and ill-mannered, and the only way for the host/guests to KNOW what that "good reason" would be is for the guest to tell them. I haven't gotten the impression that you felt that way, to THAT extent, altho you stated above that you WOULD feel that I was ill-mannered...only not for as long.

Uh...NO...I would not feel you were ill-mannered if the tables were turned. I would wonder to what extent you were going to feel "at home" in my house, depending on how well we knew each other. The only person I EVER knew who took her shoes off in my house was a former friend, who also put her feet up on my couch and coffee table, and would go into my parents' refrigerator and help herself. It depends on the person/situation.

If a workman/woman came into my home and took his/her shoes off, I'd think they were starting to disrobe. (Actually, the wallpaper lady DID do that...she's from Denmark...and no, I'm NOT asking her back to paint my living room.) Unless they offered an explanation, such as they'd just stepped in something gross and told me that's why they were doing it. I've had workpeople come to my house and start to wipe and wipe their shoes on the mats inside and outside the door, and I tell them, if they seemed overly concerned "don't worry about it" and then take out a mop and give the floor a wipe after he/she left.

 

[AirForceRocks]

They are from Ohio, Michigan, Colorado, Florida, California, Indiana, Illinois and Maryland.

I guess birds of a feather stick together then. I was born in Ohio and lived there until I was five, and none of our family or friends ever did anything like this. I grew up in Florida and lived in 3 different areas of the state, and again, I've never seen nor heard of any such thing. Sure, lots of people go barefoot in Florida, but I've never heard or seen of anyone expecting guests to take off their shoes when they entered a home. DH is from Michigan, so I've spent quite a bit of time up there as well, visiting his family and friends, and again, this is something I have never seen.

Speaking for what I know of Florida, I think your friends there are most definitely the exception and not the rule.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Originally posted by Minnesota!
What I was trying to imply earlier is that if I ask you to please remove your shoes, and you don't, and also don't offer an explanation, I will see you as ill mannered. If I ask, and you say, "I'd rather not, I have some funk going on..."

...even here at work, I kick them off under my desk and only put them on when I have to go out of the area.

"I have some FUNK going on"? Sorry, I just can't imagine feeling comfortable telling people I have "funky" feet. LOL {{{shudder}}}

If you feel so comfortable, and it's so appropriate, why do you put shoes on when you go "out of the area" at work?

 

[tkyes]

I don't even know what to say anymore that hasn't been said. I don't think any of our answers as to why people take their shoes off here is going to make anyone happy.


Why do we do it? I don't know we just do! I've been told to take my shoes off when entering anyones home for as long as I can remember. Everyone I know does it. I don't know why, we just do. That isn't enough explanation though is it?


Is dirt a possible reason? Sure, I would guess it is. Get a wet napkin and wipe the bottom of your shoe right now - I don't know why anyone would want that in their house. If your shoe is clean, you're lucky, where we live I guarantee no ones shoes are clean when they do that.

I am not more concerned about my carpet than my guests comfort!!!!

Because of where we live, it actually would be more uncomfortable to ask my friends to leave their shoes on! They wouldn't feel relaxed and comfortable in my home.


I don't run around my house cleaning up every little crumb or drop that gets spilled. My guests (meaning my close friends, who are my most common guests) treat my house as if it's their house. They take their shoes off, they grab a glass out of the cupboard if I'm not there to offer it to them, etc. This is how my close circle of friends works.


This could be the thread that never ends.

We have to agree to disagree.

Allthough for the most part we agree that we wouldn't ask someone to remove their shoes before coming into our homes.

 

[Disney's Deluxe Princess]

Originally posted by Minnesota!
"I'd rather not, I have some funk going on"

LOL! I think people who have funky feet want to keep that info to themselves.

Well, the thread is very interesting.

MENTAL NOTE: Stay away from Minnesota.

(Just kidding)

 

[Tinkbell]

Wow! This topic keeps going. I talked with some friends about this today. One of them said that their Aunt suffers from "foot phobia".....the fear of feet! Now, what about them? LOL

Foot Phobia Website

 

[disykat]

Okay - I'm weird - this subject truly fascinates me just because people have such different takes on it. I am doing laundry today and was just folding my "underwear" and placing it in my "underwear drawer". This included my panties (which I usually call just "underwear"), but also included my socks. They share the same drawer in my dresser. If I tell the boys "I'm washing a load of underwear" they understand that to mean socks and briefs. So, by my defination, underwear means panties, but also includes socks, slips, bras, etc. While I don't consider socks as intimate as panties, I definately include them in the definition of underwear.

Do people who regularly wear stocking feet in public keep their socks someplace other than their "underwear drawer"?

edited to add a plea to the tag fairy - please don't quote me from this post! that could be embarrassing!

 

[AirForceRocks]

Good question disykat! LOL

I think what truly surprised me about this were the number of "I'd freak out if people wore shoes in my house" or "It's so rude to wear shoes in other people's homes".

I can't imagine getting freaked out over people wearing shoes inside, but maybe that's just me.

 

[HauntedMansionGeek]

Facinating subject. LOL

I'm from Minnesota but I leave my shoes on and I prefer to have my guests leave theirs on too.

I DO think Minnesota has a great number of Finnish, German, Swedes and knowing them has shown an insight to some of this behavior. The Finns I know DO have different values about proper ettiquette with respect to shoes in the house, table decor and general household details.
I'm sure much of the shoe issue has to do with the mass quantities of dirt and mud that get tracked in.....and young people take what their mothers taught them and continue the tradition.

If when you were a little girl, mama didn't want shoes in the house, then as a grownup you probably won't either.


Mare.......LOVE your nearly naked wallpaper lady!! TOO FUNNY

 

[tkyes]

My socks are in a different drawer than my bras and underwear. The all get washed in the same load as other clothes, depending on the color.

I think what truly surprised me about this were the number of "I'd freak out if people wore shoes in my house" or "It's so rude to wear shoes in other people's homes".

I can't imagine getting freaked out over people wearing shoes inside, but maybe that's just me.

And putting yourself in the other person's position, which is what I think some people are failing to do, what surprises us is the number of people who are grossed out by socks, or find the no shoes thing too intimate.

I can't imagine getting freaked out by someone taking their shoes off.


It's all about what the norm is for you. You are used to one thing, can't imagine someone doing something else and vice versa.

 

[Doug123]

Whoa, this thread has generated a bunch of response!

In response to the original poster: yeah, it's rude! Ok, I could see your point if it's for cultural reasons, but that's about it. I find it very strange when people ask me to take off my shoes in their home. Um, maybe I don't feel comfortable doing so or is your precious carpet more important? Um, maybe I'm an adult, not a kid with muddy shoes? Um, maybe you're a bit of a dirt-aphobe?

 

[Planogirl]

I guess it does depend on what you're used to. I would feel half undressed if I wandered around in bare feet in most people's homes. Also most people I know keep their shoes on in their own homes whenever they have company and business places would probably show you the door if you tried to work there barefoot!

It's interesting to say the least.

 

[poohandwendy]

sorry about the multiple posts... see below...

 

[poohandwendy]

oops triple post

 

[poohandwendy]

I think the difference between those who would ask visitors to remove shoes and those who wouldn't ISN'T who (themselves)wear shoes or not in their home. It is that those who wouldn't ask guests to remove their shoes that leave it up to the guest and don't feel the need to 'freak' over whatever choice they make.

I do not wear shoes in my home often, sometimes slippers, socks or barefeet...I really don't care what decision a guest makes as long as they are comfortable.

I wouldn't think of trying to dictate another persons comfort by asking them to adhere to what I find comfortable while they are a guest in my home.

 

[DisneyJules]

I find it funny that some people are disgusted with socks, man, to think everything your shoes would track inside. I just find this whole topic so funny, I honestly don't lay in bed at night thinking whether or not others allow guests to walk through their house with shoes on I'm with the Minnesotans. Maybe it's a northern thing? Now of course there are exceptions to the rules, if you have planter warts, lopsided feet, eight toes on each foot, or anything oozing from your toes, I think I could make an exception. The thing is, I don't think I'd ever "ask" someone to take off their shoes, it's something I expect others to have the courtesy to do. I'd find it quite rude if someone has dirty shoes and they're walking all over the house with them.

 

[RitaZ.]

Now of course there are exceptions to the rules, if you have planter warts, lopsided feet, eight toes on each foot, or anything oozing from your toes, I think I could make an exception. The thing is, I don't think I'd ever "ask" someone to take off their shoes

So, are the guests given a questionnaire to determine their particular "foot" problem before they are allowed to walk in?

it's something I expect others to have the courtesy to do. I'd find it quite rude if someone has dirty shoes and they're walking all over the house with them.

I guess it all has to do with expectations then, because I would find it quite rude if I was asked or expected to take off my shoes in someone's home. For those folks that are used to doing this, then it's obviously not a problem. I just don't like to be treated as though I'm "contaminating" someone's home or living space.

There have been two times that I have been asked to take off my shoes. One was a friend (Korean), we know it's customary for them. The other time was one of my co-workers (long time ago). She asked me to remove my shoes as soon as I walked in her house, she had pristine white carpeting throughout her home. This was followed by the lovely clear plastic covering on her furniture; when she offered me a drink it came wrapped in a napkin with a coaster. I felt so uncomfortable in her home, I felt as though I was contaminating it with my presence. I couldn't wait to leave and I never visited again. It was then that I understood why she had no friends and men didn't stick around very long once they got to know her. She was also very religious and said that if her priest took his shoes off when he visited, that I was expected to do the same. I bet she still doesn't have many friends, but still has her pristine white carpeting.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

You all are gonna think this is funny!

Today, I saw a Campbell's Soup commerical where this man goes to B. Smith's home to give her some soup. Guess what she made him do before he could come inside? You guessed it! She made him take off his shoes.

He gave her a strange look! LOL

I think the advertising agencies have been reading the DIS!

Lori

 

[DisneyJules]

Originally posted by RitaZ.
So, are the guests given a questionnaire to determine their particular "foot" problem before they are allowed to walk in?

Lighten up hun, I was just kidding. This is just like being back in 10th grade debate class.


[/i]
I guess it all has to do with expectations then, because I would find it quite rude if I was asked or expected to take off my shoes in someone's home. For those folks that are used to doing this, then it's obviously not a problem. I just don't like to be treated as though I'm "contaminating" someone's home or living space. [/QUOTE]


But you are "contaminating" a space. If I had a baby in the house crawling around I'd hate to think of all the disgusting things going into their mouth that had been picked up by a persons shoes. blah!