Is it mandatory to include all sisters in the bridal party?

[princesspumpkin]

Inspired by the ex-husband/daughter being guestbook attendant thread. When a wedding takes place, is it required to include all siblings in the bridal party? I ask specifically about sisters because women seem to get more upset about not being included. I never thought that it was absolutely necessary to include all siblings. I thought that your bridal party was supposed to include people who are extremely close to you. And as we all know, we can have siblings that we are very close to, and then there are some that we just tolerate! I have three sisters and my husband has two. When I got married, I included only one of my sisters and only one of his. But then again, I never liked doing things that people said you are "supposed" to do anyway

 

[poohandwendy]

I don't think it is mandatory...but I can imagine it could cause some cat fights, LOL (to be honest, I don't know why women fight over this issue...being in a wedding is an expensive responsibility that almost always guarantees you will not have as much fun at the wedding)

I think standing in someones wedding should be an honor and the request should be made because the bride or groom sincerely feels a special closeness with you. When you do things just because of protocol, well to me the meaning seems to be lost. JMHO

 

[susy]

I did not include my sister becasue she was married. I only had three bridesmaids-all unmarried, hence the term "maids"

 

[Pooh67_68]

Thats why its nice to only have one.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

No, I don't think it's required. I had one of my stepsister's as a bridesmaid but not the other. We are really close and I am not with the other one. No problems with it.

 

[Southern4sure]

It is not required that I know of. My youngest sis got married this past Sat and my older sis and myself were not in the bridal party but our younger sister (2 yrs older than the bride) was the matron of honor. We were not upset or hurt or anything close. We helped wherever the need was. My older sister and I are 19 & 16 yrs older than the bride so we kinda took on the role of mom of the bride and took care of small things while mom actually enjoyed the wedding and relaxed.

 

[golfgal]

No, it isn't required. My older sister wasn't in our wedding party for good reason and DH's older sister didn't want to be in the wedding party because she had been in so many already, she did the readings instead. That worked out just great for us otherwise the wedding party would have been too big.

 

[Pop Daddy]

It is mandatory

 

[NMAmy]

It's not required but with that said, both my sisters were in my first wedding party and also my ex's sister. This way there were no hurt feelings.

 

[funhouse8]

I had my sister as my matron of honor (only one sister) and my friends were bridesmaids. However my dh who has 3 brothers didn't have them at all and even though they are male, yes this caused a problem too. Males can get their feeling hurt too.

 

[MommyPoppins]

When my little sister gets married she plans on having 1 of our sisters in the wedding, a friend, and a cousin. Myself and a older sister are excluded...which kinda hurts...but whatever.

 

[floridaminnie]

I know I"m not part of my brother's wedding and probably will not be invited to any of the bridal showers which is more then ok with me!

 

[stinkerbelle]

Nope - totally up to the couple who they want in the wedding.

however it would be NICE to include family.

our wedding was my brother as groosman, DH's sister (she was 14 at the time) as a bridesmaid, DH's brother as best man...and a girlfriend of mine was my maid of honor (i have no other siblings). We kept it small and most famiy

 

[Regina]

My DD is dealing with this. Her fiance has his 20 year old brother as a groomsman. My DD has her sister as her Maid of Honor. They each have two friends in the wedding party as well. My DS wasn't asked (much to his relief as he's 12 hours from here.)

The groom has a 13 year old sister and a 10 year old brother. When DD was talking to her future MIL recently, she got the "you know, Brian's sister is very hurt that she's not in the wedding." DD said that she'll have a role in it.

You have to draw the line somewhere. If you ask two, where does that leave the one? What about your own siblings? It's a shame that she was made to feel guilty about it, but that's how it goes.

 

[powellrj]

I have never admitted this to anyone, but when my DB got married, I wasn't asked to be in the wedding and it really hurt. We have a small family ( it was just DB, DM, DF and me) and she just has a DB and her DM. They had a large wedding with lots of bridesmaids. I was assigned the job of serving punch at the reception (which ticked me off even more because not only wasn't I in the wedding I didn't get to enjoy the reception). I never told anyone how hurt I was because I didn't want hard feelings, but almost 20 years later it still stings.

 

[Miss Inga Depointe]

Of course it' not mandatory, but it's very hurtful, and I don't understand what good could possibly come from it. Even if you don't get along with a sister, this kind of thing will only make things worse.

A friend of mine was just telling me that one of her greatest regrets in life was not including her sister-in-law in her wedding party. At the time, she was thinking that it was her wedding and she'd rather have her friends, but guess what. Many of those friends are out of the picture now and the sister-in-law is at every holiday meal. When the topic of her wedding day comes up, she feels very guilty.

 

[saucymb]

Although it is always up to the Bride and Groom ultimately, I think it is a good idea to include one's siblings in the wedding party. I have three brothers, and when I got married the whole subject of who would be in the wedding party just sort of got out of hand. I ended up with just one attendant, as did my husband (his dad), so we had my brothers be ushers.

I know my feelings would be very hurt if my brothers did not ask me to be in their wedding party (if they ever get married!).

Just remember: those friends that you ask to be in your wedding party may be good friends now, but time changes relationships. Blood is thicker than water, and years from now it will be your family who is most important to you, and who you spend the holidays and birthdays with. Don't get me wrong - some friends are truly life-long friends. But some friendships change.

 

[Laurajean1014]

No, it is not required. No one should feel that way. If they do, then they may be let-down.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

When my little Brother gets married someday I could care less if I was in the wedding. Frankly, I would rather not be.

I discussed this with my Sister and she said she would be really hurt. I look at it as:
1. We will probably barely know the bride since none of us live close to each other.
2. She may have a lot of friends/sisters she wants to include.
3. By the time my Brother gets married I will be well into my 30's.

My Brother is the elope/destination wedding type. I hope that's what he does after he finds someone-someday.

I can see how feelings would be hurt, but I also undestand asking those you are close too.

 

[Miss Inga Depointe]

I really think that this new wave of that bride battle cry "IT"S MY DAY"! Is getting out of hand!

She can't include her sisters? It's that important to have it your way? A wedding is a celebration to be shared with family friends and community. It is not just your day. It is for the people who raised you and nurtured you, too.

I just will never understand the childishness of a bride who thinks only of herself and her day. I think most brides in their heart of hearts will look back and cringe at this kind of behaviour when they are older.