Is it just me or ....

[Tiggerrific]

Have people on the DIS got mean? I haven't been on the boards much since our last long Disney trip in Feb 2005, now we have one coming up soon. So I started coming back to check things out, and I have noticed that a lot of people just have a mean streak now. I mean between just automatically assuming that people are trying to get away with something, to not paying attention to the original post, it seems as though almost every thread just becomes a flame war within a couple of post some where on the first page. I hope it's just me, and I'm reading way to much in to it. I am not always the nicest person when I post, but I try to think before I reply to things, it doesn't always happen but I do try. Now the people that are obviously trying to get away with something that is a different story all together, but people can still be a little thoughtful, not necessarily to the OP but to themselves, and to others who read the post. Yes I know I don't have to read any post that I don't like, but some people have valid questions and it's info that I, or others may be able to use, but to weed through all the flames gets old sometimes. Anyway this is getting long so I guess I will end this rant now. Anyone who reads thanks for taking time out of your day to read this vent, and please do not take this as a me trying to start a flame war, I'm am just stating something that I have noticed that could be my own perception.

 

[debster812]

Have people on the DIS got mean? I haven't been on the boards much since our last long Disney trip in Feb 2005, now we have one coming up soon. So I started coming back to check things out, and I have noticed that a lot of people just have a mean streak now. I mean between just automatically assuming that people are trying to get away with something, to not paying attention to the original post, it seems as though almost every thread just becomes a flame war within a couple of post some where on the first page. I hope it's just me, and I'm reading way to much in to it. I am not always the nicest person when I post, but I try to think before I reply to things, it doesn't always happen but I do try. Now the people that are obviously trying to get away with something that is a different story all together, but people can still be a little thoughtful, not necessarily to the OP but to themselves, and to others who read the post. Yes I know I don't have to read any post that I don't like, but some people have valid questions and it's info that I, or others may be able to use, but to weed through all the flames gets old sometimes. Anyway this is getting long so I guess I will end this rant now. Anyone who reads thanks for taking time out of your day to read this vent, and please do not take this as a me trying to start a flame war, I'm am just stating something that I have noticed that could be my own perception.

I think the flip side to the coin, is that there are some posters who are VERY quick to cry "FLAMING" when someone simply disagrees with them, or tells them what they may not want to hear.

I think it's always been this way, it does not seem any worse to me

 

[Tiggerrific]

That could very well be Debster, I've just noticed some of the post where the OP does get flamed and they don't say anything about it. I definately like that outlook though, and will try to see it that way. Thanks for your reply.

 

[MIGrandma]

I think the flip side to the coin, is that there are some posters who are VERY quick to cry "FLAMING" when someone simply disagrees with them, or tells them what they may not want to hear.

I think it's always been this way, it does not seem any worse to me

But there is a nice way to have a different opinion than someone, and there is a rude, nasty way too. I certainly don't expect everyone to share my opinion, thoughts or feelings on any given subject, but I don't think it's necessary to be mean or nasty when disagreeing. There are a few posters here who seem to delight in belittleing others, saying rude or mean things to them, etc. And there are a few who seem to enjoy bringing up things from the past, that have absolutely nothing to do with the current topic, and laughing about it. Thankfully those people are few in numbers. Most people here have enough class, tact, or whatever you want to call it to be decent in their replies to others.

 

[crashbb]

What I have noticed an increase of recently is posters (not mods) posting on threads only to tell others that they shouldn't have posted what they did or that they are flaming the OP.

It has happened on a few threads that I've been reading the since last night.

 

[declansdad]

I think the flip side to the coin, is that there are some posters who are VERY quick to cry "FLAMING" when someone simply disagrees with them, or tells them what they may not want to hear.

I think it's always been this way, it does not seem any worse to me

You hit the nail on the head. The only thing that has changed is the political fighting has pretty much disappeared. In some cases, that's too bad

 

[CookieGVB]

What I have noticed an increase of recently is posters (not mods) posting on threads only to tell others that they shouldn't have posted what they did or that they are flaming the OP.

It has happened on a few threads that I've been reading the since last night.

There have always been "wannabe Mods" on the DIS. Some of them even became Mods.

 

[declansdad]

There have always been "wannabe Mods" on the DIS. Some of them even became Mods.

 

[crashbb]

There have always been "wannabe Mods" on the DIS. Some of them even became Mods.

I'm sure the've always been there (and became mods!). I guess I've just noticed more in the past few days.

 

[Tozzie]

But there is a nice way to have a different opinion than someone, and there is a rude, nasty way too. I certainly don't expect everyone to share my opinion, thoughts or feelings on any given subject, but I don't think it's necessary to be mean or nasty when disagreeing. There are a few posters here who seem to delight in belittleing others, saying rude or mean things to them, etc. And there are a few who seem to enjoy bringing up things from the past, that have absolutely nothing to do with the current topic, and laughing about it. Thankfully those people are few in numbers. Most people here have enough class, tact, or whatever you want to call it to be decent in their replies to others.

I think many people as being too sensative, I seen many posts where a person is told "you don't have to be mean about it" I then read post again and can't find anything mean about the post.

Then there are people who post a subject and say something along the lines of no negative posts, well you don't get that option unless you own the board, if you post a topic it is fair game like it or not so then those people get all twisted about it. I think people just need to grow a thicker skin

 

[Robinrs]

After the thread about PandyPaws, I did a lot of reading back in the old days of the DIS, back when people came here for information and we became a big happy family.

The difference now is like night and day. There are some people on this board that are just downright nasty and somehow enjoy making people feel bad.

People like this must not have this kind of power in real life so they have to swing their bat under the anonymity of the internet, which, imho, is the definition of a true coward.

 

[Tiggerrific]

Well so far so Good on this thread, thanks everyone for your straight non-nasty objective opinions. They definitely put some things into perspective.

 

[DharmaLou]

Granted I've only been around for about 4 months, but a longtime friend and longtime DISer told me this is one of the nicest Disney forums around. That kind of makes me scared of the other ones

 

[Ceila]

It seems that there are several different kinds of posters who have very thin skins. I'm not saying that some posters aren't out for blood, but most of us just don't put up with hypocrisy and whining:

First, you have a lot of people who post with the expectation that everyone will agree with them. When that doesn't happen, they immediately cry "flame" or act as if those who disagree are evil. Then, add in the mod-wannabes (who are often the only name-callers in the thread), and you have a mess.

Second, there is the kind of poster who who has posted enough to be memorable in some fashion and then gets upset when their previous comments are brought up.

Third, there are those who purposely post things that the vast majority of others will disagree with just for the purpose of riling everyone up. They are closely related to posters who love to brag or show-off, sometimes outright but more likely in a veiled manner.

Let's see, then there are, oh never, mind, the list would be too long to finish writing!

Honestly, I don't think posters have really gotten meaner, I just think that the the majority are tired of dealing with people like the above.

 

[goofy4tink]

There have always been "wannabe Mods" on the DIS. Some of them even became Mods.

Hey!!!!!
Kidding. On another note...I just love the train in your signature...Donna would be so happy and honored!!

Anyway....I really think that a lot of people come along and post something specific. They are probably looking for justification for their actions or thoughts. But when they get differing opinions, they get peeved. And then, the thread goes downhill quickly!!! Most people try to respond nicely, but if you're only looking for validation, then you aren't going to be happy with any negative comments.
People need to remember that these are public boards. Once you post something, it's out there. And even if you 'think' you've deleted your original post, or subsequent ones, you may be surprised to find that it's out there someplace!!! So, really??? Stop, think, and stop again. Rethink. Then, and only then, should you post anything you may possibly regret. Things come back to bite us all the time...been there, done that.

I can't tell you how many PMs I've had from people asking that I delete their posts or to take action against others they feel treated them badly!!! And there are times that we do take action. But, in the vast majority of the cases, there's little to be done. People just didn't like the answers they got...and it wasn't an issue of tone, or attitude. They just plain didn't like the answer!!!

In all truthfullness??? Yes, it does seem that things around here have gotten a wee bit testy. All we can ask is that if someone does feel that they want to post a response that may not be what the OP is looking for, is that they post with good manners...as if that person was standing right in front of them. There is no need for rudeness, snarkiness, or huge amounts of sarcasm. You have no idea how you may affect someone else. If someone has nothing new to add, why bother posting just to keep the flames going?? That's what bothers me. Say your piece and move along.
But....it is what it is. People are human after all.

 

[Robinrs]

It seems that there are several different kinds of posters who have very thin skins. I'm not saying that some posters aren't out for blood, but most of us just don't put up with hypocrisy and whining:

First, you have a lot of people who post with the expectation that everyone will agree with them. When that doesn't happen, they immediately cry "flame" or act as if those who disagree are evil. Then, add in the mod-wannabes (who are often the only name-callers in the thread), and you have a mess.

Second, there is the kind of poster who who has posted enough to be memorable in some fashion and then gets upset when their previous comments are brought up.

Third, there are those who purposely post things that the vast majority of others will disagree with just for the purpose of riling everyone up. They are closely related to posters who love to brag or show-off, sometimes outright but more likely in a veiled manner.

Let's see, then there are, oh never, mind, the list would be too long to finish writing!

Honestly, I don't think posters have really gotten meaner, I just think that the the majority are tired of dealing with people like the above.

They've gotten meaner than they were in 1998 when I joined, 100 times more.

Maybe not since 2009 when it was already nasty but a LOT since the earlier days.

 

[Luv'sTink]

After the thread about PandyPaws, I did a lot of reading back in the old days of the DIS, back when people came here for information and we became a big happy family.

The difference now is like night and day. There are some people on this board that are just downright nasty and somehow enjoy making people feel bad.

People like this must not have this kind of power in real life so they have to swing their bat under the anonymity of the internet, which, imho, is the definition of a true coward.

Because people are getting away with being nasty and saying the OP has "thin skin"

 

[Luv'sTink]

It seems that there are several different kinds of posters who have very thin skins. I'm not saying that some posters aren't out for blood, but most of us just don't put up with hypocrisy and whining:

First, you have a lot of people who post with the expectation that everyone will agree with them. When that doesn't happen, they immediately cry "flame" or act as if those who disagree are evil. Then, add in the mod-wannabes (who are often the only name-callers in the thread), and you have a mess.

Second, there is the kind of poster who who has posted enough to be memorable in some fashion and then gets upset when their previous comments are brought up.

Third, there are those who purposely post things that the vast majority of others will disagree with just for the purpose of riling everyone up. They are closely related to posters who love to brag or show-off, sometimes outright but more likely in a veiled manner.

Let's see, then there are, oh never, mind, the list would be too long to finish writing!

Honestly, I don't think posters have really gotten meaner, I just think that the the majority are tired of dealing with people like the above.

What is bold above for example...On today's DIS there are posters that would say... If your tired of dealing with it, leave. You don't have to come here it is your choice to do so, no one is forcing you to deal with anyone on an internet chat board.

 

[Ceila]

What is bold above for example...On today's DIS there are posters that would say... If your tired of dealing with it, leave. You don't have to come here it is your choice to do so, no one is forcing you to deal with anyone on an internet chat board.

I guess the same could be said of those who think it's "too mean" here.

As for leaving, no thanks. The good far outweighs the annoying!

 

[goofy4tink]

Wow....so, if you're tired of cranky people, you need to leave. If you're tired of people tired of cranky people, you need to leave.
You know..I've been here a very long time. I started my WDW internet stuff on an old aol board, back in the late 90's.
Here's the thing....way back then, in the dark ages, there were, quite simply, many fewer poeple using computers for this kind of thing. There really weren't all that many people hanging out, 24/7, on discussion boards. For heaven's sake, most discussion boards were pretty topic specific. If you were 'into' golden retrievers, that's the board you went to. You love WDW?? Specific area for that as well. There just weren't all that many places quite like the community board here.
I always got weird looks from people when they found out that I was 'active' in some topic specific boards...they just couldn't wrap their heads around talking to strangers on the internet. That is certainly not the case anymore.

So, now we have FB and blogs and all manner of social media. We have people that really get pretty much all their social interaction on these internet boards...right or wrong, that's the case. Many people don't have terrific social skills. They may not have as much education as they would like. Others have appointed themselves the language police, so they can correct others shortcomings. People tend to hide behind the anonominty (did I spell that right????) of the keyboard. They figure that if they don't 'know' the person, it just isn't a big deal if they make someone feel badly.

At this point, everyone is online at some point. We have a hugely large population nowadays. And with that comes the probability of nastiness. There are always going to be those who see someone 'weaker' and go after them. That 'weaker' person may have bad social skills, they may have a developmental disability, who knows. But there are always going to be 'mean' people. They are in our schools, our workplaces, why, they are even in our churches. People are just mean....and there's nothing you are going to do about it.

So...you see a thread that starts going south. What do you do??? You have a few choices. YOu can enter the fray and get involved....sometimes you may make a difference and things will get toned down. Or, you can enter the fray and start slinging insults as well. And it doesn't matter who the insults are thrown at.....both sides of an argument seem to be pretty good at flinging stuff.
Or, you can take the high road. Give your opinion, in a polite way. It can be counter to what others are saying but as long as it's polite, no one should take offense. Then...go away. Stop posting.
Yeah, I try for number 3 a lot. But, sometimes, I just can't help myself. Just have to take issue with something or the other. Even moderators fall prey to it.