Is it just me or ....

[jujube]

I don't think people have gotten meaner. Of course, I was not here in the late 90s. I was here for about 6 years but when I left for a while, I forgot both my id and my password, so here I am with a new id.
The problem is that on a message board, it's impossible to tell sometimes just what a poster is saying. On some threads that have become nasty to the OP, I've noticed that if he/she comes back and rephrases what they really meant, then it can calm down.
Of course there are the Downer Debbies who have to rain on anyone and everyone's parade and they do it in a nasty way. That says more about them than it does about the poster they're trying to skewer.
If someone asks a question, don't assume they're trying to get away with something. Be nice and answer the question. I notice on the resorts board that some poor people might have 40 posts and they ask a question. BAM, the know-it-alls go in with a bad attitude and "it's off to the races" attacking the OP. Try to be understanding. Being pissy is not the way to keep new posters.
No, I'm not trying to be a mod-I'd ban anyone who disagreed with me.

 

[declansdad]

They've gotten meaner than they were in 1998 when I joined, 100 times more.

Maybe not since 2009 when it was already nasty but a LOT since the earlier days.

Don't agree. I've been here since 2004 and it rally hasn't changed. The only thing that has changed is the players; some for the good, some for the bad.

 

[LuvinLucifer]

The one thing that really irks me is people who constantly throw out the T word! If someone is violating a guideline, report them, but just because someone brings up a controversial topic or expresses an unpopular opinion does not make them a troll. There is no reason we shouldn't be able to debate without name calling. Every other board I'm a member off considers such accusations a reportable offense.

 

[declansdad]

The one thing that really irks me is people who constantly throw out the T word! If someone is violating a guideline, report them, but just because someone brings up a controversial topic or expresses an unpopular opinion does not make them a troll. There is no reason we shouldn't be able to debate without name calling. Every other board I'm a member off considers such accusations a reportable offense.

T word? It's ok to say troll.

 

[goofyernmost]

T word? It's ok to say troll.

Well, now you are just trying to make LuvinLucifer feel bad. Stop being mean!

 

[Jennasis]

Nothing has changed here IMO. People have come and gone but the tone has remained essentially the same. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have...the DIS.

 

[Tiggerrific]

Thanks a lot Jennasis now I'm singing The Facts Of Life theme song, and probably will be for the rest of the day. That was mean lol

 

[DeltaDiamond001]

I don't think people have gotten meaner per se, but I've definitely noticed a lot more people taking "offense" to minor, insignificant things. There are some boards I just don't bother posting on anymore because of the level of intolerance towards anything not sprinkled with glitter and pixiedust. I'm a brutally honest person, what can I say?

 

[Disney Doll]

I've been here since 1999 or so, and I don't think it's changed much. As a matter-of-fact, with the demise of the Debate Board and the new rules about religion and politics, if anything, it's more vanilla than it used to be.

I think "mean" is a subjective feeling.

Please note that the "you" below is the universal "you" and not specifically you, or anyone else, OP.

If I say something that you don't agree with....or I tell you something that you don't want to hear...am I mean?

If you have a long history of posts, and some of them memorable for the kind of information they contained, and then you come here and post stuff that's totally contradictory to what you originally said, and I point it out, am I mean? Or are you just angry because you got caught in a little white lie?

I think in general that people are more thin-skinned. The generations coming up always got an award, Mom and Dad always told them how perfectly wonderful they were, they always got defended and protected from the mean teachers, the mean coaches, the mean Scout Leaders etc., so when they enter the real world, whether it be real people online or encountering real people face to face, anything that doesn't essentially say "Yes you are totally perfect, wonderful and right about everything" is considered "mean".

Realistically, I love many of the personalities here. I have laughed and cried at posts, shared in peoples' joys and sorrows, prayed for people in their troubles. But in the end, we are all anonymous people on an Internet message board, and as such, if someone's "mean" to me, it doesn't really dramatically affect my life. I generally forget about it about 5 seconds after I read the post.

Like my mother always said "If you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question."

 

[declansdad]

Well, now you are just trying to make LuvinLucifer feel bad. Stop being mean!

That's what I'm all about!

 

[LilyWDW]

I have not seen an increase in people being mean. In fact, the DIS is by FAR the nicest message board I have ever been a part of. They are a lot better about keeping things clean and nice then many place on the internet,

That all said, I HAVE seen an increase in a couple of other issues.

1) People who have no knowledge of simple message board or internet etiquette. Spend more time reading before you start posting. Use search. Use the sticky threads. Simple things that could really reduce the number of "hot" posts and topics. The tools and information is there... use it!

2) People who seem to forget this is a public board and get upset when people do not agree with them. If you post something here, expect to get responses... and they might not all agree with you! You do not own your thread. Once it is posted, it is sort of a free for all sort of thing.

I try to be blunt, but polite. There are better ways to put things. Now, I am not perfect and no human being is so I know I have said a thing or two that might have been "rude" or "mean". Honestly, that is life. I TRY not to be offensive, but then again, a lot is in the perception of the reader.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yes, maybe it does feel 'meaner' than it did way back when...

But, I have to agree with the above poster who notices that, like all electronic activity, the DIS is many, many, times, larger than that 'happy family' that may have existed at one time. And, with that, there does come a different dynamic!

This is, now, a large community.
And, like any community, I have seen it go thru different cycles and phases.

Here are two kinds of things that I have seen recently.

First, there are the cliques.
I was on one thread where it was, most definitely, a tight group or clique.
Everything had to be just exactly the way they liked it with no compromise and zero disagreement. Just because I was one of a couple of posters who questioned something, it was like they ran me off the thread like a group of rabid posters from Mean Girl Middle School. Their posts and behaviors were not even close to being socially acceptable. I just walked away.

Second, I have also noticed the 'snipers' as I call them. They ambush.
They have decided that they, personally, do not like and/or agree with you.... So, it is like you will post your thoughts, as requested by an OP...
And they come out of the bushes/woodwork... Just a full flank attack. Instead of just posting their personal thoughts and experiences... it is like they jump out, actually quote your post, and attack, which is just not okay. It is negative, it takes the OP's thread off-topic in the nastiest way. Sometimes it is necessary to address it and clarify. But, just as often it is necessary to just walk away.

And, BTW, mentioning one's past experience in a valid, BTDT, type of way is not a bad thing. If for example, somebody is posting about something that I have had to struggle with and have learned from, and I say BTDT... how would that be a problem???? The last thread I got attacked/flamed/ambushed on for this also had many other posters who were quoting their experiences. Going all the way back to "when I was a kid...." Somehow this is okay, unless you just do not agree with what the poster is saying, so then it is fair game for an ambush???

I suppose this is just how it goes out here in cyber-land!

 

[themilesfamily]

Nothing has changed here IMO. People have come and gone but the tone has remained essentially the same. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have...the DIS.

I call Natalie!

I've only been on the DIS for about four years, but I've noticed a few categories of posters.

1) The hand-holders and the peacemakers. These posters are always friendly, always nurturing, very sweet.
2) The debaters. They're not afraid to get into it with you on a topic or two. But you'll find over time that you may be on opposite sides on some threads, on the same side on others. It all works out and it's a friendly relationship.
3) The curmudgeons. Their responses seem crabby and sarcastic on every thread. With posters like this I've come to believe it's either their writing style or they're just curmudgeons in everyday life. (I secretly love the curmudgeons. They crack me up!)
4) The crusaders. Everything becomes a dispute. Every topic and every individual must be challenged, corrected, railed against or reformed.

Frankly, I enjoy everyone on these boards. I don't think it's so much that people are mean -- I think it's often they have a personality that's more confrontational than others or perhaps they write more sarcastically than others.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Love your categories!!!!

I notice The Debaters...
It can be just in their nature.
Sometimes it makes things more interesting.

But, FYI, every discussion does not have to be, and should not be, a debate. Not on 'the friendly chat boards'.

I once had a person personally attack me badly enough for the mods to eventually see it an delete it... But, they and a person in their clique had actually justified it by saying... "ohhh, that wasn't bad at all, as far as a debate goes...."

FYI, there is probably a difference between the DIS and Debate Team.

 

[themilesfamily]

But, FYI, every discussion does not have to be, and should not be, a debate. Not on 'the friendly chat boards'.

I agree -- to me a poster crosses the line from debater to crusader when EVERYTHING they post is either a challenge to the OP, or a disagreement about some nitpicky thing that was said in a thread. Perhaps the crusaders can consider taking it down a notch or two from time to time -- simply to lighten the mood in the room, so to speak?

But keep in mind, it may not be in their personality to do so. I've known a couple of crusaders in real life and they're intense.

 

[LilyWDW]

Love your categories!!!!

I once had a person personally attack me badly enough for the mods to eventually see it an delete it... But, they and a person in their clique had actually justified it by saying... "ohhh, that wasn't bad at all, as far as a debate goes...."

One thing that BURNS me is personal attacks. I mean, you don't have to agree with people and you have every right to "attack" their point... but you do not have the right to attack the person who states it. When you resort to name calling, you have lost all credibility. At that point, people will not take you seriously what so ever and may end up just simply ignoring you.

And, I would put myself as a Debater. It's just my personality as I love to look at information and take it apart and question things all the time. But, I hope most of the time I do it respectfully and politely.

 

[phorsenuf]

It seems that there are several different kinds of posters who have very thin skins. I'm not saying that some posters aren't out for blood, but most of us just don't put up with hypocrisy and whining:

First, you have a lot of people who post with the expectation that everyone will agree with them. When that doesn't happen, they immediately cry "flame" or act as if those who disagree are evil. Then, add in the mod-wannabes (who are often the only name-callers in the thread), and you have a mess.

Second, there is the kind of poster who who has posted enough to be memorable in some fashion and then gets upset when their previous comments are brought up.

Third, there are those who purposely post things that the vast majority of others will disagree with just for the purpose of riling everyone up. They are closely related to posters who love to brag or show-off, sometimes outright but more likely in a veiled manner.

Let's see, then there are, oh never, mind, the list would be too long to finish writing!

Honestly, I don't think posters have really gotten meaner, I just think that the the majority are tired of dealing with people like the above.

Perfectly said!!

Thanks a lot Jennasis now I'm singing The Facts Of Life theme song, and probably will be for the rest of the day. That was mean lol

Darn earworm!!

I don't think people have gotten meaner per se, but I've definitely noticed a lot more people taking "offense" to minor, insignificant things. There are some boards I just don't bother posting on anymore because of the level of intolerance towards anything not sprinkled with glitter and pixiedust. I'm a brutally honest person, what can I say?

I also love how people say "It's a Disney board, people should be nice." Here's how I see it. Yes, it's a Disney board, but it's comprised of many parts. I don't consider the CB to be any more Disney-like then the moon is made out of cheese. People who have been around a while knows the community board marches to the beat of it's own drum. It has it's good points and it has it's bad points. Most people can learn to live with both parts. Those who can't, well, maybe it's not the place for you.

 

[NMAmy]

I don't necessarily think things are any meaner around here than they've ever been. I remember the Debate Board. Those threads scared the bejeebers out of me. I remember reading for the entertainment value but I was never, ever brave enough to post there. I think things have been much nicer with the political threads gone. It's the first election year that I haven't just dreaded reading the DIS.

At the risk of sounding mean myself, if one is feeling that they're getting flamed or that others are being mean to them all the time, then perhaps it's time to look at what you're posting. Are you giving contradictory stories or is there something antagonistic in what you're posting? Are you too thin skinned and offended by anyone who posts a contradictory idea? Do you have a pet topic that you're extremely passionate about and any time a post comes up on that topic, are you posting the same old things repeatedly? Are you projecting the attitude that your opinion is the only possible correct one? All those things can cause others to be less than kind and if it's happening to you on a regular basis, then it may be you that's causing the problem, not other posters.

These are all a general "you" and not directed to anyone in particular.

 

[Plannin'Shannon]

At the risk of sounding mean myself, if one is feeling that they're getting flamed or that others are being mean to them all the time, then perhaps it's time to look at what you're posting. Are you giving contradictory stories or is there something antagonistic in what you're posting? Are you too thin skinned and offended by anyone who posts a contradictory idea? Do you have a pet topic that you're extremely passionate about and any time a post comes up on that topic, are you posting the same old things repeatedly? Are you projecting the attitude that your opinion is the only possible correct one? All those things can cause others to be less than kind and if it's happening to you on a regular basis, then it may be you that's causing the problem, not other posters.

These are all a general "you" and not directed to anyone in particular.

Well said, and I agree.

 

[Robinrs]

I call Natalie!

I've only been on the DIS for about four years, but I've noticed a few categories of posters.

1) The hand-holders and the peacemakers. These posters are always friendly, always nurturing, very sweet.
2) The debaters. They're not afraid to get into it with you on a topic or two. But you'll find over time that you may be on opposite sides on some threads, on the same side on others. It all works out and it's a friendly relationship.
3) The curmudgeons. Their responses seem crabby and sarcastic on every thread. With posters like this I've come to believe it's either their writing style or they're just curmudgeons in everyday life. (I secretly love the curmudgeons. They crack me up!)
4) The crusaders. Everything becomes a dispute. Every topic and every individual must be challenged, corrected, railed against or reformed.

Frankly, I enjoy everyone on these boards. I don't think it's so much that people are mean -- I think it's often they have a personality that's more confrontational than others or perhaps they write more sarcastically than others.

Great categories!!

Add:

5: The researchers: The lack of life people who remember ever single thing people post. I wonder why they really "care".

6: The know it alls: Whatever the subject is, there is someone who knows more than anyone about it. I can almost guess who will have a starring role in any thread.

7: The loyalists: Their "idols" can do NO wrong. Whether it be WDW, thier hometown, their religion, their politics or their favorite celebs, they will defend them to the death, even if they shoot their Mom!!

8: The punks: they will never answer a PM, they go to their playground and get with their like minders to complain because they don't have the nerve to debate one on one.

These people are EVERYwhere on the net. Like real life, it's inevitable.