Is it cheating....?

Yah, me too. It seems so weird.

She is really torn up. She believes he is her soulmate (see soulmate thread:)

I wish I could help her or figure out a way for it to work for her.
 
As long as he is still married its cheating period.

And just like everyone else how can they have a 3 month old baby if the marriage has been over for 4 years. Nope, someone is lying!

Yep I would talk to the wife.
 
Either the marriage hasn't really been over for 4 years or the mother endured the longest gestation in human history.

Cheating, no doubt.
 
What a scumbag. If he dumps his wife with a 3 month old, he will do it to her one day too. She is an idiot for falling for that "it's over" line. If it's over he should be well into divorce proceedings.
 

According to him, and I guess she should clarify this with the wife, the wife dumped the guy.
 
I guess I'm missing the need to clarify - the guy has obviously lied to her - why would she want to be with him when she knows he's a liar?
 
/
So, let me get this straight. He says the marriage has been over for 4 years, but they've obviously been sleeping together, so that's code for 'I think it's perfectly ok to cheat on my wife as long as I can convince this woman that we're not 'really' married' anymore.

But then they have the baby and this loser decides to ditch the baby because he met a new woman? He stayed there with the wife that whole time for 'financial' reasons but the minute they have a baby he can all of a sudden afford to move out? Wow, how convenient.

You would be a good friend to tell her to run in the other direction, he's a loser who's looking for a reason to leave his wife and child. Tell your friend to not be the reason.
 
Originally posted by FreshTressa
According to him, and I guess she should clarify this with the wife, the wife dumped the guy.

Ask yourself why a brand new Mother would dump her husband and Father of her baby. There must have been VERY good reasons.
 
Tell your friend to RUN AWAY FAST!

I was dating a guy who I thought was divorced. He lived in an apartment with a mutual friend of mine. Imagine my surprise when after a couple of months he tells me he's hoping to reconcile with his wife. "You mean ex-wife, don't you?" I said. His reply: "No. We never actually divorced." :earseek:

Needless to say the relationship ended very shortly after that....
 
I don't think your friend should clarify/speak with his wife about who dumped who, etc...

Your friend should stay completely out of THEIR marriage.
 
I'd run and fast if I were her!!! I knew a friend in a similar situation... she found him with another woman not even a year later. Stupid in my eyes... that poor baby and if his WIFE who had a baby with him not three months ago left him, then I'd use my better judgement and do the same!
 
GET OUT NOW!!! A three month old baby?!:eek: If that doesn't tell you something about the guy, I don't know what does. Who would wait four years to leave his wife, then wait until there is a newborn in the house to leave? A scumbag, that's who. Obviously the guy has problems with responsibility. Who wants to be involved with someone like that? Yes, if he will leave his wife during this time of need, he will have no qualms about leaving your friend when she needs him. What does he have to show that can convince her otherwise? Actions speak louder than words. And as my mother would say, run, far and fast. The best you can hope for is that he will at least do right by his child, if not by the MOTHER of his child. Though it sounds like if your friend leaves him, he will just find someone else to help him avoid his responsibilities.
 
A leopard doesn't change his spots. If he treated his wife this way, he will someday treat your friend this way.
 
All I know is I wouldn't want to be with a guy that cheated on his wife, what a sleaze ball.
 
Originally posted by FreshTressa
What if he files for divorce, then can they pursue a relationship or is it still too creepy??
He's still a DAD to a 3 month old baby! Imagine your friend "babysitting" rather than having an affair! :eek:

Run, don't walk, away!
 
Why are you trying to 'help your friend find a way to be with' a man whose life is obviously a mess? Not divorcing for 'financial reasons' is one of the most common BS lines that women seem to fall for...it is incredible what poeple will believe when they want to believe.

Dude's a dud...she will figure it out soon enough...hopefully not after he completely screws up her life also.
 
There is an old saying - "When you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you marry a man who cheats on his wife."

However, none of us is the man, wife or girlfriend in this senario. He could be in the worst marraige known to man, his wife could have been cheating on him, the baby could be someone other than the husband's. We don't know.

My best advise is for the OP to MYOB, but be there if it turns out badly for your friend. An never say "I told you so". Say "I'm sorry it wasn't what your thought, or he was a liar and a cheat". Saying I told you so makes the situation about you, not your friend.
 

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