Is It All Right To . . .

[disneyfav4ever]

I started a thread the other day, saying there's no way my parents will be happy to hear the news of my engagment. Considering the situation, and assuming that it doesn't get better once they realize we're serious about each other, we'd probably end up having a small wedding. Well, small in the number of guests, which should stay under 50 people, I still want my cake, to arrive in Cinderella's carriage, and have Mickey and Minnie come to the reception. But would it be acceptable to do two things.

1) Just to have a Maid of Honor and a Best Man? It would be easy for me to pick, actually I already know who I'm going to ask, and not need any more attendants. (Is that what they're called?) I don't have a lot of close girl friends, and after my best friend from high school, who I want to be my MOH, there's no one I "need" to include. For DF it wouldn't be so easy to have just a best man, he has brothers, a son, and several really good friends, etc. I could always ask my best friend from college, and from when we were younger, to be bridesmaids, but I've kind of lost touch with both of them. Though we haven't lost touch to badly, we still talk once every few months. But I think it would be easier to just have a MOH and BM, and not have a bigger wedding party then that.

2) Let's say I tell my parents, and any other members of my family, and they get over it enough to actually manage to come to the wedding. You know that part, when the priest or whoever asks anyone if they object, could we leave that out? I just don't want to give anyone a chance to try and keep us from getting married. I wouldn't put it past certain people to object, and I know if I went through that I'd be very upset, and that would wreck me for the day.

 

[dmslush]

You can have as many or as few attendants as you want. Don't let anyone try to dictate that to you in any way.

I am working with Jo Ann Elf Pessagno in writing our vows. The "does anyone object" is no where in our vows. I think that is a ridiculous, old fashioned item to put in the vows. I kind of see that right up there with Obey!

 

[JackieSparrow]

You can have as many or as few attendants as you want. Don't let anyone try to dictate that to you in any way.

I am working with Jo Ann Elf Pessagno in writing our vows. The "does anyone object" is no where in our vows. I think that is a ridiculous, old fashioned item to put in the vows. I kind of see that right up there with Obey!

I agree with all of this. I was just at a wedding yesterday... we counted 10 groomsmen and at least that many bridesmaids. I've also seen just 2 on each side. It really depends on what you want, after all it's your day! Do what's right for you.

As with the objecting question, you can work with your officiant to add or delete what is in the ceremony, so it shouldn't be a problem to leave it out... we are leaving that part out for sure!

 

[luv4mylittleones]

I agree with all of this. I was just at a wedding yesterday... we counted 10 groomsmen and at least that many bridesmaids. I've also seen just 2 on each side. It really depends on what you want, after all it's your day! Do what's right for you.

As with the objecting question, you can work with your officiant to add or delete what is in the ceremony, so it shouldn't be a problem to leave it out... we are leaving that part out for sure!

We will be deleting the objection portion...it just kills the mood and sounds so awful...would anyone REALLY stop you from getting married anyway??

If we go with the custom wedding we will be having a total of 6 attendants but if we choose the intimate we will only have a MOH and BM. After all, if all of our guests are in the wedding, who who be there to watch it! lol!!

 

[DaPookie]

I was originally only planning on having just a MOH and BM. You can have whatever number you choose...or even have none at all. As long as there's someone there to witness it (even the officiant might count for that...I'm not sure) you're all set!

I say take it out! That and the "obey" thing...

Someone had posted their video a couple of months ago of a Reverend Jack Day wedding in the WP, and I do not remember them saying either of those things.

Good luck!

 

[AbbyPan]

I agree. your wedding party can be as large or as small as you want.

Although sometimes, it's better to go with less, in my opinion. I have so many friends, but my 2 sisters will be the only attendants. I prefer doing it this way so no one feels as if preference was taken over them.

 

[Glorydaz]

aaaww, my heart goes out to you.. - it's stressful enough putting a wedding together without not having the support of your family.. that said, as far as attendents, it's perfectly fine to have only a MOH and BM if that's what you want. and that's exactly what I'm having. my daughter will be my MOH and my DF's best friend from childhood will be his BM.

the two of you have to decide what kind of wedding you both want and then basically stick to your guns! you're making memories for the two of you and you can only hope that your family and friends will cherish whatever that memory is.

keep your chin up and just come here to vent - what a GREAT group of people on these boards!

Michelle

 

[disneyfav4ever]

keep your chin up and just come here to vent - what a GREAT group of people on these boards!

I thought so too. At least until I posted the same thing over on the community board, and a bunch of posters started saying that there's something off and that I must be lying or something. Anyway, it got really ugly. You guys on the wedding boards are much nicer then the posters on the community boards it seems.

Apparently since I still live with my parents, I need to move out if they're so disrespectful. I don't argue with this. DF and I have been meaning to move in together for ages, but we keep on having to postpone looking for a place. But we have plans to look for a place tomorrow, so hopefully nothing will get in the way of that.

Apparently also I have too many issues with my family. And if I moved out there wouldn't be any issues. Um, yeah, we'd still have issues. Everyone has issues with their families it seems.

Also, I'm immature since I blame other people for my problems. No I don't, I just blamed my parents for making it feel like I'm forced to hide my engagment from them.

And I'm immature since I want that $1,000 Bridge to Happiness cake. If that makes me immature, I don't care. I'm having that cake. Even if it's just me and DF and we have that big cake all to ourselves. That's my cake.

I'm sure there were other things as well, but those were the main things. Sorry, I had to vent about that as well.

 

[scarlett873]

I wouldn't worry too much about what's said on the CB. There are a lot of opinionated people over there...most mean well!

And it's a shame that you have to hide your engagement from those who are supposed to care the most about you! I read the beginnings of the other thread on the CB, so I understand why...it truly sucks that we still have to deal with stuff like that in today's world!

And have the cake of your dreams! It's your wedding...you're entitled to it! Heck, if DH and I could have afforded the Disney wedding, I would have done the cake that I wanted as well, whether my family was there or it was just DH and I!

Good luck with the wedding plans! While I've been married for almost 5 years now, I still come over here to follow the wedding plans of the brides here! I love following their plans from the very beginning and then seeing the pictures and trip reports at the end! It's like watching your child grow up...lol...I personally think that they are all very, very helpful and supportive!

 

[Glorydaz]

And I'm immature since I want that $1,000 Bridge to Happiness cake. If that makes me immature, I don't care. I'm having that cake. Even if it's just me and DF and we have that big cake all to ourselves. That's my cake.

.

oh my gosh!!!! that cake sounds delish!!!!! I say go for it! I'd love to see a picture if you can post one!

Michelle

ps/ vent away - we ALL have problems with family, be it small or huge....and I'm sure we can all lend a sympathetic ear