Is Grandma a Princess or a Pirate? UPDATE 9/28! The Last Suppah! PICS!! Pg. 69!

[lazydoxy66]

Happy belated birthday from me too!!!

I hope everything is well with you and Jon!!!

 

[cherbear]

Happy belated birthday!!!

​

 

[HomeschoolMama]

I'm glad you're doing okay, but we miss you!!! Hurry back!

 

[Philadisney]

I just finished reading your whole report so far. I don't know where to even begin with comments - it is so great! You are such a funny writer.

Your motha reminds me of an ex boyfriend who I went to WDW with a few years ago. He got up at 7 AM every morning to go for a jog around our entire resort! Bonkers!

 

[rentayenta]

I'm sorry I missed your bday sweetie!

 

[englishrose47]

I'm sorry I missed your bday sweetie!

Me too Happy Belated Birthday!
We are finally all back on the internet and all have our laptops up and running!!

 

[Goofyluver]

Well...

THANK YA'LL FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES!

I don't remember much of that night. I'm thinking we ended up in Mexico with some exotic "male" dancers dressed in drag????

JK.

I am back. Sorry...I needed a few weeks to collect myself and Jon. We are FINE! I promise.

I will be posting my update either today or tomorrow. Due to computer issues, I have to use another PC to load pics. But, don't worry. It's a comin'!

See ya'll later with an actual TR update!!!

 

[Goofyluver]

We (me) were so excited to feed the sea lions. I had purchased a genu-ine tray of nasty smelling fish for each of us…the motha, Lexie, Jon and myself. Each tray held 5 or 6 fish.

Lexie…a girl after my own heart…refused to touch the fish. Smart girl. Maybe she had a sense of what was to come.

Jon…placing the tippiest top of the fingernails of two of his smallest fingers grasped (pinched) ONE fish…and threw it into the enclosure. He pronounced himself too grossed out to touch anymore.

The motha declined.

So, there I was.

With four full trays of smelly, stinky, slimy fish.

But…the fish didn’t smell stinky to everyone. Oh noooooo.

Those birds…

Remember these???

They looooooved them some fish.

Picture Jen…leaning over the fence to the sea lion enclosure…leaning over really far…so as to make sure to disperse evenly the fish…trying to be oh so fair…to the small lions and the big ones…

Picture Jen…being smacked in the back of the head…HARD…by the wing of a dive-bombing white bird…who is trying to commandeer the four trays of yummy smelling fish…

Picture Jen…screaming…flailing…and trying not to tip herself into the enclosure…

Picture the sea lions…cocking their heads to the side…trying to figure out this new type of animal…this one who screeches loudly…and sounds suspiciously like an elephant giving birth…

Picture Jen…throwing all fish into the enclosure simultaneously…so that not to be dive-bombed yet again…by any sort of bird…

Picture Jen…cursing and muttering under her breathe…making a pact not to come in contact with any other birds on her Disney trip…

Oh yes. Not only does Disney reserve it’s vicious bird population for Jen…but apparently, Sea World does as well.

I directed that it was now time to leave the sea lions…and move on to a less bird-friendly exhibit.

On…

To…

The penguins and the puffins.

These “birds” were behind glass. They couldn’t bite or dive-bomb Jen. At least...I hoped not.

From the penguins and puffins, we moved onto the alligators. They were so tiny. Only a few feet long each. Lexie labeled them “puppy alligators”…since they were “babies”. Somehow…I don’t find them quite as cuddly and cute as puppies. Call me crazy.

After the alligators, came the manatees. Located in a much larger enclosure than at Epcot…even though, I now know that the ones at Epcot had a “backstage” area.

I tried to explain to Jon that manatees were the “cows” of the oceans. They meant no one any harm. They only wanted to swim with their families, and live in peace, and eat…of course.

“Why then…mom…are they all scarred on their backs???” Jon asked.

I explained to Jon about boaters, and manatee accidents. And my dear boy…my dear sweet boy…swore to me that he would always watch for manatees…on his boat…that I would buy for him…for his 16th birthday…rather than a car of course. But, if I wanted to buy him a car…I could throw in a Mustang convertible…just to be nice.

Take it from my son to turn a concern for humanity and its’ species into a campaign for personal possessions and material goods. Go Jon.

Onward into the abyss that is Sea World.

At some point…we were walking through SW…and I got this shot.

Aside…did you know that Sea World is educational? Well, it is. As evidenced by my next story.

Just like you can learn alllll about the world in Epcot…you can learn about the facts of life in Sea World. Just take a little looksee into the dolphin tank.

I looove dolphins. I used to want to be a marine biologist. Only…New Mexico isn’t near to too many oceans or beaches. I was ever so excited to amble my way to the dolphins.

We got a primo spot right next to the lookin’ glass. Yessirreebob.

And we’re looking. And we’re looking.

And all of a sudden…

Jon: “Mom…why are those two dolphins beating up that other dolphin?”

Me: “Oh Jon. I don’t know…I guess…they’re just playing.”

Jon: “Mom…what’s that???” (pointing to a very conspicuous body part)

Me: “Oh…oh…oh my. OHHHHHHHHH!”

And that’s when it began. Our conversation about the mating habits of dolphins. Right there within ear shot of some loverly 20-something boys. Who were MORE than thrilled to listen to my explanation. While snickering. Loudly. Behind us.

But…COME ON. Poor little lady dolphin. Two on one??? (Here…I can’t even score one person…and she’s bringing on two at a time???)

Which brought up another conversation. Why was the girl dolphin “playing” with two boy dolphins???

So, I took this chance to impart a little feminist knowledge on my dear boy. As every feminist mother should.

“Well, honey…female dolphins are like the queen bee…the leader of the dolphin pack. They are in charge of their lives…as they should be. And they get to have their pick of whomever they want. So, the male dolphins are competing for her attention. They have to prove that they are worthy of her time and attention. Yessirreebob. She is the controller of her destiny. Maybe she’s even the President of the Dolphins. And she probably makes way more money (fish) than the boy dolphins…since she’s the queen and all. Soooooo, those two boys are trying to impress her…and make her fall in love with them. They don’t want her to be with the other boy. You just remember…the nicest and most polite gentleman always wins the girl. Keep that in mind when you are allowed to date as soon as you turn 30.”

The loverly boys behind us kept on snickering. Guess their mommas didn’t teach them about the world of feminism. Where the woman controls it all.

At this point…the motha walks up with Lexie. They had been in another viewing spot. And Jon loudly announces…but only loud enough for everyone within a 5-mile radius to hear…that “2 boy dolphins were trying to win a girl dolphin”…and then…he loudly…pointed out *gulp*…the dolphins’…ummmmm…appendage??? Using correct terminology. Because his mother thought it best not to call things by nicknames.

I saw mothers cover their children’s ears. And turn away quickly. And all of a sudden…I was the bad momma. The momma who did the “dirty talkin’” in the dolphin viewing area. Using correct terminology. With a bit of feminist values thrown in.

Doh.

Here they are…some nature shots!

We then moved to the above-water viewing area. And we could still clearly see…the two-on-one life lesson occurring. In front of everyone’s eyes.

We moved on. From the aquatic anatomy lesson…to the Sting Ray Pool.

Lexie and Jon both got to touch them…until Jon proclaimed loudly…for everyone to hear…that:

“I’m not going to touch them anymore. Isn’t this how the Crocodile Hunter died? Lexie…don’t touch them. You’re going to die.”

Doh. Double Doh.

We chose this moment to leave Sea World. Before any more bird attacks, anatomy lessons, or morbid discussions on death could occur.

We walked to the row of taxis out front. And looked for the car where the windows were rolled up (AC) and the driver was not muttering to himself. We hopped in…and $30 later we were back at SSR.

We had the driver drop us at the front of the resort and we went straight to Artist’s Point, for dinner.

This was ehhhhh. For a CS eatery, it was decent. But…I actually liked ASMusic’s better. More options. Not so frou-frou. The one downfall of SSR. Ah well. I guess there had to be one.

We were back at the room at about 6:30. Immediately showered the chilluns…and put them straight to bed. Humina humina humina wha???? Children in bed by 8:30…at DISNEY WORLD???? Yup. I’m the meanest mother in the world…not to be confused with the meanest motha in the world.

At about 9:00, I hopped a bus. By myself. To DTD.

Shopping. By myself. Sans children???

Almost as good as going potty by yourself. Without knocks on the door. Or cries of “Mommmm….what are you doing in there? What’s taking you so looooong???”

Oh yea. My first order of business was...

Shhhhh…don’t tell anyone.

I popped a squat…and procured myself a bonafide adult beverage from the margeereeta bar.

I had now been with my mother…for 5 full days…without any liquid indulgence. I sucked that baybee down…and pondered for a second…whether I should have another.

Can you tell how desperate I was…drinking…by myself…2000 miles from home???

I didn’t have another though. I tend to “speak my mind” when I’m drinking…and the motha truly didn’t deserve what I would have handed out. If ya’ catch what I’m throwin’ down.

I sauntered…yes, sauntered…through DTD. Through the twinkling lights. Through the shops alit from the inside. With all of the Disney gear. Peeping at me through the windows.

I hit World of Disney first…and wandered around. For a while. By myself. SCORE!!!

I didn’t find anything I wanted though.

I hit the toy store…and spent 45 minutes stuffing My Little Ponies and their wears into a teensy box. But…I got 2 ponies…and one of every accessory…into my little box. This was for Lexie…for a Christmas present.

I then went into the memories/scrapbooking store. Looking for something very specific. One of those fancy schmancy Disney cameras. For Jon. Because his birthday was now just days away. And he had been asking for a camera. $80 later…I emerged from the store…with a real-live digital Disney camera in my hand. For Jon Jon’s birthday.

***I saw the same camera…at Wal-Mart…only days later…for $50.

I scooped up my packages…sauntered (yup…sauntered) my way back through DTD…and hopped back on a bus for SSR.

I smiled all the way “home”. With my packages. Thinking about shopping and drinking by myself. This truly is…the Happiest Place on Earth.

Up Next: It’s My Vacation…and I’ll Scream If I Want To!

 

[Hedy]

Naughty Dolphins.

 

[Philadisney]

I recently got smacked in the face by a bird on the Ocean City NJ boardwalk who wanted one of my french fries. Terrifying! I don't blame you for your flailing and screaming! Those sea lions are pretty adorable though. And puffins!!! I have only ever seen puffins on my trip to Ireland this past May, where we went to an island that was covered in them.
I love the manatees too - especially the ones at the Living Seas! Sad that there is only one there now
Your feminist dolphin speech was stellar I am going to steal that if I ever have kids of my own and we ever witness...uh..."surprising animal behavior."
Your alone time with margaritas and shopping in DTD sounds heavenly!

 

[Lifelong_Dreamer]

I am with the Lexis and Gramma, no way would I have touched those fish.

Those naughty naughty dolphins.

 

[Bev1016]

What a great update Jen! Those discussions about the dolphins and the rays were good stuff.

I've also had my share of Sea World trauma. When I was at SW in Ca, my niece and I were feeding the dolphins. Something happened, and the paper tray got knocked out of my hand--right into the dolphin's mouth! I was so worried that we'd killed the dolphin! But we told one of the dolphin keepers, and he fished (bad pun, I know) it out.

Can't wait to hear more!

 

[kykatt2]

OK When I can make a civil Sentence.. I'll do it.
Maybe I should cross Sea World Off my list.. sara is already Creeped out about the Whole "Birds Bees and Fish Thing".. then she gets a demo

Even though I saw all this kind of stuff growing up on the farm.. so why am I really concerned ??

Be back to add more later

 

[princessjv]

Welcome back Kiddo! You've been missed!

Ewww... trays of smelly fish. Gross! Yucky!

Who knew Sea world was such a great place for teaching the facts of life.


You got to shop alone. Without motha too. How far of a walk back to SSR is it from DTD? Not that you walked. Just wondering. Thinking about staying there.

 

[askelton]

I could watch penguins all day!

I explained to Jon about boaters, and manatee accidents. And my dear boy…my dear sweet boy…swore to me that he would always watch for manatees…on his boat…that I would buy for him…for his 16th birthday…rather than a car of course. But, if I wanted to buy him a car…I could throw in a Mustang convertible…just to be nice.

Apparently all boys are born with the "must have cool car" gene.

“Well, honey…female dolphins are like the queen bee…the leader of the dolphin pack. They are in charge of their lives…as they should be. And they get to have their pick of whomever they want. So, the male dolphins are competing for her attention. They have to prove that they are worthy of her time and attention. Yessirreebob. She is the controller of her destiny. Maybe she’s even the President of the Dolphins. And she probably makes way more money (fish) than the boy dolphins…since she’s the queen and all. Soooooo, those two boys are trying to impress her…and make her fall in love with them. They don’t want her to be with the other boy. You just remember…the nicest and most polite gentleman always wins the girl. Keep that in mind when you are allowed to date as soon as you turn 30.”

Go Jen!

The loverly boys behind us kept on snickering. Guess their mommas didn’t teach them about the world of feminism. Where the woman controls it all.

Unfortunately there are too many boys with this attitude. Good thing my DH gets it.

“I’m not going to touch them anymore. Isn’t this how the Crocodile Hunter died? Lexie…don’t touch them. You’re going to die.”

Shopping. By myself. Sans children???

Very smart!

***I saw the same camera…at Wal-Mart…only days later…for $50.

 

[rentayenta]

Did you know Holly on The Girls Next Door calls Hugh Hefner "puffin". I'm just saying. Great photos!!!

 

[ncsjodi]

Great update, Jen. Those dolphins were being awfully naughty. I'm just glad I didn't have to explain that one to my DDs. It was bad enough explaining the huge turtles at the zoo...

 

[cmp1111]

Picture Jen…being smacked in the back of the head…HARD…by the wing of a dive-bombing white bird…who is trying to commandeer the four trays of yummy smelling fish…

I'm sorry, but...

Take it from my son to turn a concern for humanity and its’ species into a campaign for personal possessions and material goods. Go Jon.

Me: “Oh…oh…oh my. OHHHHHHHHH!”

Using correct terminology. Because his mother thought it best not to call things by nicknames.

We do, too.

“I’m not going to touch them anymore. Isn’t this how the Crocodile Hunter died? Lexie…don’t touch them. You’re going to die.”

I'm so sorry.

***I saw the same camera…at Wal-Mart…only days later…for $50.

Of course.

 

[mrsksomeday]

OMG, I thought I had problems with birds, but nothing compared to your issues. I would have been freaking out. The dolphin situation was just too much .

Sounds like you had a great time at DTD. I am going to get a margarita in October there!!

 

[englishrose47]

We did SeaWorld last year as DD is a huge Dolphin lover, we cannot get her out of Dolphins pools anywhere. She says she would have loved to be a Marine Biologist, but she hates seaweed !!
Great and amusing update !!