We all woke up this morning at about 7. No working out for the motha this morning. Heh heh.
Today…was to be a verrrrry special day. Today was the Pirate and Princess Party for us…and someone (Lexie) was going to be made over like a princess just for the occasion.
We got to MK right at rope drop.
As we were walking through the tunnels, I remembered that the motha’s batteries on her camera had died the previous evening. We needed to hit up the Kodak spot for some batteries.
Well…as we were walking into the parks…we spied someone special in front of Town Hall.
Jiminy and Pinocchio…or as Lexie calls them…Jimmy and Nachio!
But…we had no batteries to take pics with. So, I suggested that we go into Town Hall and grab some batteries real quick like before lining Lexie up for her first meet of the day.
Remember…this is not even my camera. My camera had been destroyed by rogue whale waves the day before!
We walk into the Kodak store AND…
My mother lost her ever-lovin’ mind. She shrieked at me as only a Jewish motha could.
“NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE THE WAY YOU WANT IT TO BE JENNIFER!!! ALL WE’VE BEEN DOING IS WHAT YOOUUUUUU WANT! NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE YOUUUUURRRR WAY!”
I wanted the floor to swallow me up then and there. I glanced around…and the sheer decibel of her screech had brought everything and everyone in the store to a stand still. Oh yes…all of the patrons of the Kodak shop were holding their purchases, mouths agape, staring at US. Me. Like I was walking around with a maxi pad stuck to my butt...or like I had tooted outloud. Looking...me to her...her to me...me to her...waiting for the slap fight.
I looked at my momma like she had slapped me. And I tried to give her the “shut-up” look. Ya’ll know that look right??? You give it to your kids all the time when they shout out inappropriate things at the grocery store…like, “Hey mom! Look at that fat guy!” Or…”Teehee mommy! Look at her clothes. She looks like a clown!!!”
The “shut-up” look goes a little somethin’ like this:
You tilt your head slightly to the side and open your eyes real wide and give the ice-eyed stare at your intended target. You purse your lips with just a little bit of a lip-pout for emphasis. And you telepathically send “SHUT-UP…SHUT-UP…SHUT-UP” to your person of interest. Sometimes…if the situation is really bad…you even raise an eyebrow.
Jon knows and understands the “shut-up” look.
(for the record…I do not use the word “shut-up” with him)
The motha…well…the motha doesn’t know the “shut-up” look. And so she continued…at a pitch high enough for only dogs to hear…
“THIS WHOLE TRIP I’VE BEEN FOLLOWING YOU AROUND AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS GET LEXIE TO SEE PINOCCHIO AND JIMINY CRICKET!”
And everyone is looking from me to her...her to me...me to her...waiting for the hair pulling to commence.
(through clenched teeth) “Mom, we have no batteries for the camera. If you want pictures…we need to get some. How about you hop in line and I’ll buy the batteries.”
And she stomped…YES, STOMPED…out to the line for Jiminy.
The lady next to me was still eyeing me up and down.
I just giggled and said, “Heehee. Mothers.” And she nodded in agreement. We bonded, she and I.
I scooped up batteries and was outside in time to catch this…
Really…there was no reason to throw temper tantrums.
We began our journey up Main St.
And we turned right into Tomorrowland and headed straight for:
We were able to walk right into the Laugh Floor. And sit right down. And snap an illegal pic.
When I snapped that picture…the monster screamed out and fell on the floor. He claimed I blinded him…
WHATEVER. You can’t blind someone who is animated. Pfffft. Oooops. Heh heh.
We then headed over to Buzz. Where I got 100,000 points!!!!
We left Tomorrowland and headed to Fantasyland. We had a very important date…
With…
DUMBO!!!!
Here are some pictures of the view from above!!!
After Dumbo…Lexie really wanted to go on the Carousel. So, she and the motha hopped on. Want proof that the motha can smile??? Here ya’ go! When she smiles she always looks like she’s afraid her face may crack…
We had a little more time to kill before Lexie’s BBB appointment…so I asked Jon what ride he would like to do in the area. Never ask. Just assign.
Jon picked IASW. Again.
Luckily, it was time to get Lexie princessized. So, we headed off to the castle to BBB! Which may I say…last year, we took meeska’s daughter Kaia to BBB in DTD. The one in the castle is soooooo much better. The atmosphere is better. There is a waiting area for family. There are not 100 racks of princess crap for the girls to thumb through all within 15 feet.
Lexie got changed into her Belle dress…and we popped a squat to wait for her crowning. Very quickly…her FGM, Grisela (how great a name is that???) called us back.
The waiting room…
Lexie before her crowning…
The beginning of the “process”…
And just as we sat down…the FGMIT…(her name escapes me)…stole Jon’s sunglasses. She threatened to make him into a princess if he decided to take them back…
Here’s Lexie getting doed-up!
Here’s the finished product…later in the day…after a nap…talk about good hair spray…
From BBB…we went over to Toon Town so Lexie could meet the princesses. Jon and I walked around the big tent and gobbled up some souvenirs while Lexie and the motha met the princesses.
From there…we went over to Cosmic Ray’s for lunch. Nothing remarkable about this place…except for the fact that Lexie left her goody-bag from BBB in the restaurant. We didn’t realize this until later.
After lunch, we decided to leave the park, return to SSR for naps, since we would be out late tonight with the Pirate and Princess Party!!
We loaded the bus at about 1:15.
As we sat down on the bus with the other vacationers, an announcement came over the loud-speaker on the bus:
“Everyone…please be on your best behavior…as we have a Disney princess on board.”
Lexie got her own announcement!!!
We were back at SSR and napping by 2.
Besides the motha’s temper tantrum, we had had an awesome morning. When we spoke about her fit later, she said she felt like I was being too “controlling” during our vacation, and that’s why she acted like a 2-year-old. For the record, she asked me to plan our trip. She said she didn’t want to worry about what we were doing or where we were going. When I brought this up, she said she felt “rushed.” I explained that I was only trying to get she and Lexie to experience as many things as possible during this trip.
My take on the whole situation is…she’s just crazy. Always has been…always will be. But, in the off chance that she pulls something like that again…I always carry the “shut-up” look with me. And I have prepared a speech for just an occasion such as that…
“HELP!!! CALL 911!!! SHE’S OFF HER MEDS AND SHE CAN GET VERY DANGEROUS!!!”
We’ll see if she pulls that again!
Up Next: Pirates and Princesses Bonding!!!
I miss you too Kristi Loo. 
darn men and their parts he has been changing a few things on the car and then he has a freinds car here and has been doing some changes to it 
his friend doesn't know so that should be funny
Was this not also a smile....or is she just getting ready to bear her fangs and rip your pretty little "controling" throat out
