Two important points.
1. I did not read this entire thread, so someone probably already said this.
2. I have absolutely no data to back up what I'm about to post.
I think (make sure you read point 2 above) that Disney hotels are the only hotels where you cannot eat at the hotel's restaurant unless you make an advance reservation. Okay, maybe I do have some data to back up this outrageous claim. I've stayed at a lot of hotels over the years and a restaurant in a Disney hotel is the only hotel restaurant that I've ever been told, "Sir, we are completely booked. Reservations only."
I'm not talking about Cinderella's Table in the Castle (which I believe is an urban myth, as I've never eaten there nor even seen it) or a food court. I'm talking about places like the Yatchman's Steak House. I've (recently) watched people hang their mouth open as they were told the Steak House was full, go try and eat in the bar.
So who's fault is it? Well, seeing as Disney knows you really, really need a reservation for a unique experience like, eating at the restaurant in your hotel, I would have to say ... Disney should make that really, really clear to everyone who books a room. A simple, "Sir, if you plan on eating while staying at our Deluxe resort, you better make an ADR."
The other day (as in mid-week now-ish, not July 4th-ish) I tried to eat at the Epcot resort area. As in, anywhere in the Epcot resort area. I (party of one) got turned away from Flying Fish, the new Italian place, ESPN line was waaaay out the door, Cape May's, and The Yatchman's. I ate at the Yatchman's bar. Which by the way filled up full by the time I left.
So, I think Disney could work a little harder to ensure people who stay (spend lots and lots of money) at their resorts have a good experience. I classify eating as a good experience.