Is being gay a lifestyle choice?

[C.Ann]

No -- I would not disown my child.

God never gives up on His children, neither would I.

---------------------------

So at some point would you accept it - or just continue to badger your child in an attempt to fix them until they ultimately were forced to leave home?

 

[beckmrk04]

You know- despite seeing people like Joe on here, (God help his children if they do happen to be gay- they'll need all the love and support they can get,) I'm seeing mostly a thread full of beautiful, tolerant, loving individuals who have chosen not to judge an entire group of people merely based on who they sleep with, but rather embrace them as individuals who have no reason to be ashamed for having loving, caring relationships, and recognizing that the religious path is not everyone's path, even if it is their own. I'm very proud right now!

 

[TurboKitty]

Oh yes, being attracted to the same gender is a choice.

It's an additional bonus for the danger factor added in with it....

Instead of being like "everyone else", they CHOOSE to walk the line, flirt with being verbally abused or even straight up, beaten to various degrees. ( If you take this seriously, please have your sarcasm meter recalibrated tomorrow.)

If it was a choice, don't you GET that acting straight, if they could....they would????!
So many have tried...it doesn't work....no matter how many wish it would.

My heart breaks for those who try to live a lie.

 

[Free4Life11]

I don't really know what to think. I don't think being gay/straight is 100% genetic. I also this how you were raised and your life experiences account for a lot.

As far as bisexuals, I agree with this post:

Believe me, I know how cool some people (especially young women) think it is to be "bi". That is the main reason that people who are truly bisexual get such a bad rap. That is why some people feel that to be truly bisexual is in no way "lucky" as another poster had said. They get stuck on the outsides of both groups. Gay and straight people don't trust that they are not one of those who are behaving as bisexuals for attention. Here let me explain it with this definition from the urban dictionary.

The often overlooked B in LGBT. A person capable of romantic and sexual attraction towards a partner of either gender. A person twice as likely to be turned down for a date on Saturday night. Someone who has to prove to the heteros that he is not gay, and prove to the homos that he is not straight. A trait hetero men find extremely attractive in women and seem to find frightening in men.

Which all boils down to some making a choice to be with someone of the same sex.

We all choose who we date and sleep with. But I don't believe you can choose who you find attractive. Of course attraction doesn't have to mean you date/sleep with someone, but I would find it hard to date/marry someone of one gender, while always having a sense of attraction towards another gender.

 

[Laura]

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Actually I think acceptance has come a long, long way.. Back when I was in high school (gonna "date" myself here - 40 years ago) there is NO WAY there would have been ANY kind of acceptance or understanding for this segment of the population.. Many of the older generation now (in their 80's) still don't accept the concept because that's the way they were raised and old habits die hard.. Now we have the thirty-something group (also older and younger folks) who have come to understand and accept and that acceptance will continue to grow over the years ahead.. Unfortunately though, it's going to take time - and probably a long time at that.. Remember how unacceptable it used to be for whites and blacks to date - let alone marry? Over time that all changed - but that too took a long time and I don't see it being any different than the length of time it will take for most people to accept homosexuality for what it is.. And of course you will have a certain segment of the population - mostly based on religious beliefs - that will never accept it.. I realize it's hard, but unfortunately, only the passing of time will bring about a more universal acceptance..

You are soooo right, C.Ann. It will take time for enough people to come around, and there will still be some who won't agree with gays and their "lifestyle", but equal rights will happen. Acceptance has only increased over the years. The movement for gay marriage is strengthening. I think I will see USA gays married legally in my lifetime. And hey, if they get "civil unions" because people mistakenly think marriage is religious, I'll cross the word "marriage" off my own certificate, because I didn't have a religious wedding! (The whole thing's so silly. Like if women were still not allowed to "vote", but we cast our "choices" into a separate "decision box"? Same thing legally, but different terms? Would that be okay?)

Sooner is better than later, though, but I do feel equal rights are coming to gays. I mean, sheesh, what's so awful about two people who love each other wanting to marry? The horror!

 

[ducklite]

I believe it's not a choice.

What is a choice is how people conduct themselves in regards to their sexuality. Some people flaunt that they are gay and make a big deal about it. I don't run around telling people I'm straight, why would anyone who is homosexual do so? I have a lot of dear friends who are gay. But a couple seem to be fixated on their sexuality, and that either manifests itself verbally, or in the way they dress/conduct themselves.

Of course I've seen straight pole dancers flaunt their sexuality, and find that rather unnecessary as well. And yes, I do equate them with each other. It has nothing to do with being straight or gay, it has to do with being civilized.

Anne

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Wouldn't be your choice. So I guess it would be worth it to you to lose you child. Very sad.

I'm not saying that you wouldn't have the right to feel upset, however, that's different than trying to change who they are. Or disowning them if they didn't "change" (ie, deny who they are or pretend to change), which I'm assuming that you would do if they didn't change since you consider "letting" heading down that path irreponsible. Likely what would happen is that they just wouldn't come out of the closet to you and you would choose to keep your head in the sand, not really wanting to know what you suspect to be true.

Maybe I missed the memo, but do you have children?

Joe, I'll quote myself since you seem to have missed it since you didn't reply to my questions and comments towards you.

So you wouldn't disown your child--you'd never give up on your child. So you'd eventually accept your child even if it's not what you'd choose for them or you'd pester them forever? That's assuming they ever came out of the closet to you.

And what if it's not a child of yours, but a neice, nephew, cousin, BIL, SIL, co-worker, neighbor, etc, etc. There are all kinds of people who could (and possibly are) in your life who could turn out to be g/l. Would you try to convince a neighbor that they are sinners? Where do you draw the line? What if they are not sinners within their religion? A lot of this seems to be about you and your religion.

 

[momof2inPA]

Sometimes it's a choice. How else would you explain Anne Heche?

 

[LukenDC]

Sometimes it's a choice. How else would you explain Anne Heche?

She is bisexual.

 

[bubie2.5]

The only “choice” gay and lesbians make, is accepting who they are and living their lives staying true to themselves. You can choose to spend years living a lie, and while this is easier, the guilt, depression and feeling your not worthy is enough to make you not want to live; even if from the outside everything seems “just perfect”. Or you can choose to finally accept and even embrace who you are, and who you love, even while you know there will come great problems, discrimination and hatred even from people you have never met.

As for choosing to love someone, you can’t choose that. Can you choose to “un-love” your kids or your partner? If real love is there I don’t think it can be done.

 

[momof2inPA]

She is bisexual.

That's nonsense. Is bisexual another word for money-grubbing publicity seeker? She used Ellen for her dough. That was a case of "gay-by-choice" for the convenience of a roof over her head and money in her pocket. The people I have know who are gay, are gay by biology. The people I have known who swing both ways, were bi by sleaziness.

 

[Buckalew11]

Ann's father was a preacher. I always thought it was also an act of rebellion against what he believed in.

 

[momof2inPA]

Ann's father was a preacher. I always thought it was also an act of rebellion against what he believed in.

Maybe-- an act of sleazy rebellion

 

[VSL]

It's not a choice to have those feelings of being attracted to someone.
It is a choice to act on them.

That goes for all of us

And, to be perfectly honest, I don't care either way - as long as no one gets hurt.

I also agree with the scale of
Purely Heterosexual - - - - - - Bisexual - - - - - - Purely Homosexual
that someone mentioned.

 

[DizznyChick]

its not a choice-its the way you are and i really cant understand some people being offended by it
i certainly cant understand a parent disowning their child over it

 

[Disney Doll]

I have 2 people in my life who are gay. One is osmeone I have knowna nd loved dearly for 34 years. She has had a tumultuos 34 years, and much of it, I believe , is because she was trying to deny her homosexuality. Running away form home at age 15, substance abuse, out-of-weldock pregnancy at age 16, early marriage and divorce, second marriage, which seemed happy and well-suited until about 6 or 7 years ago when the "you-know'what" hit the fan, and she realzied, or was ready to admit, that she was gay. I firmly and truly believe that all of her previous "angst" was because she was not living the life she was supposed to. And, yes Joe, I, and a heck of a lot of other people, prayed for. Prayed my heart out for her. Prayed that God's will for her would be done. She is now with her same-sex partner, who is a wonderful woman, and she is happier and more at peace than I have ever seen her. And you know what? I spent a lot of years wondering if the next phone call about her was going to be to tell me she had killed herself, so, quite frankly, I don't really care if she decides she wants to make a life with an armadillo...I still have my lifelong friend, happy and healthy and at peace. And that's what I care about.

The other person is someone who I believe is gay, but claims to be so very religious that I think that actually admitting that fact would be more than she could handle. So instead, she is always sick, always needy, always seeking attention, always referring to a particular female friend as "God's ultimate gift of love to me"...bear in mind she has a husband and 2 children, so one would think that they would be God's ultimate gift of love to her, she goes away to meet this "friend" for weekends on a fairly regular basis (a little "Brokeback Mountain", IMHO), claims to be the most devout and wonderful Catholic in the world yet would think nothing of saying or doing the rottenest thing in the world to you if it was a means to her end in a particular situation...the list of things goes on and on. And my belief is that she is gay, and because she is not living the life she is supposed to be living, she is a miserable, dark soul. And that is sad.

 

[luvmydogs]

...
I don't mock gays. I simply don't condone their behavior choice. I pray that God's love touches their hearts and brings them to repentence, as He wants what is best for all His children

Using to refer to someone is mocking and dismissive. And hey, I'm not even gay--I can only imagine the hurt and degradation your words cause others. I wish you could see the hate that's feuled by your own personal biases. It's so very, very ugly. Actually, I think you *do* see the hatred--you just *choose* to promote it.

 

[JoeEpcotRocks]

Joe, I'll quote myself since you seem to have missed it since you didn't reply to my questions and comments towards you.

So you wouldn't disown your child--you'd never give up on your child. So you'd eventually accept your child even if it's not what you'd choose for them or you'd pester them forever? That's assuming they ever came out of the closet to you.

And what if it's not a child of yours, but a neice, nephew, cousin, BIL, SIL, co-worker, neighbor, etc, etc. There are all kinds of people who could (and possibly are) in your life who could turn out to be g/l. Would you try to convince a neighbor that they are sinners? Where do you draw the line? What if they are not sinners within their religion? A lot of this seems to be about you and your religion.

I would never accept the life-style choice. God never gives up on us.

"Gays" always seem to think that there are all kinds of people who could turn out to be "gay."

 

[JoeEpcotRocks]

Using to refer to someone is mocking and dismissive. And hey, I'm not even gay--I can only imagine the hurt and degradation your words cause others. I wish you could see the hate that's feuled by your own personal biases. It's so very, very ugly. Actually, I think you *do* see the hatred--you just *choose* to promote it.

Calling me a hater.

Those who condone a path contrary to the Word of God are the ones who should be taken to task, especially when it involves are precious children.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I would never accept the life-style choice. God never gives up on us.

"Gays" always seem to think that there are all kinds of people who could turn out to be "gay."

I'm not gay.

And don't worry, "we'll" never give up on you.