Is a church wedding 'open to the public?'

[mrsklamc]

I'm confused by the people who think people have gotten really angry about it. I am the one that said the police COULD be called if there was somewhere there the couple really didn't want. I didn't say it happened, just that the church would certainly do so if necessary.

The way I understand what I am reading, people have gotten way more upset that people COULD be removed, than about anyone who was at anyone's wedding.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I'm confused by the people who think people have gotten really angry about it. I am the one that said the police COULD be called if there was somewhere there the couple really didn't want. I didn't say it happened, just that the church would certainly do so if necessary.

The way I understand what I am reading, people have gotten way more upset that people COULD be removed, than about anyone who was at anyone's wedding.

I think that's where you're losing people. What exactly does that mean? You didn't like your co-worker and didn't want her at the church, or there was a violent convicted felon who had been threatening you and said he/she was going to show up at your wedding with a gun? First case scenario, you're probably SOL. (Although I guess you COULD call the police...people CAN call the police about anything and everything.) Second scenario, you probably have a pretty good case. Something in between, I guess it depends on the facts.

 

[Imzadi]

I'm confused by the people who think people have gotten really angry about it. I am the one that said the police COULD be called if there was somewhere there the couple really didn't want. I didn't say it happened, just that the church would certainly do so if necessary.

The way I understand what I am reading, people have gotten way more upset that people COULD be removed, than about anyone who was at anyone's wedding.

I think that's where you're losing people. What exactly does that mean? You didn't like your co-worker and didn't want her at the church, or there was a violent convicted felon who had been threatening you and said he/she was going to show up at your wedding with a gun? First case scenario, you're probably SOL. (Although I guess you COULD call the police...people CAN call the police about anything and everything.) Second scenario, you probably have a pretty good case. Something in between, I guess it depends on the facts.

Yes, I think this is situational, or considered a domestic situation, versus just being at a public facility where you decide to schedule an event and have "rights" to the spot. If (general) you decide to have a picnic in a public park and a former, violent spouse shows up and plants down a picnic blanket next to you, you could call the police, if you can prove his being there is a personal threat or disruption to you. Probably, at most, the police would just move him further away, where he might perch on a hill and still watch you. But, can't be considered a direct nuisance.

If a former spouse sits in the back of the church, is quiet during the, "Does anyone here have just cause why these two should not be married," I'm not sure the police CAN remove him. Although they may try to persuade him to leave. Even then, the ex-spouse could be standing across the street when you walk out.

 

[snapppyd]

I would not be thrilled if my wedding venue was "open to the public"-- in fact, I'd probably ask if it could not be open or I would consider hosting the ceremony elsewhere. JMO!

A church is not a "venue". The reception is at a venue.

 

[ReneeA]

I am Catholic, and our church and it's masses are open to the general public. The priest that married us strongly encouraged us to have our wedding ceremony during the 4pm mass service that happens every Saturday evening. I figured it was because he didn't want to have to give 2 services that day. Fine with me. Our wedding was in the bulletin for at least 2 weeks prior and we did have lots of parishoners that didn't get individual invites show up. They didn't come to the reception, only the wedding ceremony. It may have been because my DH's family was a founding family of that particular parish from 100+ years back, and he was raised from birth in the church. Or maybe we have lots of folks that like to support the new couples just starting out. Either way, I think it's nice. I can't see getting myself all excited about people showing up in support of us (and to be honest, I haven't seen a good argument for being against it...having violent or stalkerish people to be concerned with is one thing, but just friendly neighbors coming out to show support is quite another)

 

[goofyintoronto]

I'm confused by the people who think people have gotten really angry about it. I am the one that said the police COULD be called if there was somewhere there the couple really didn't want. I didn't say it happened, just that the church would certainly do so if necessary.

The way I understand what I am reading, people have gotten way more upset that people COULD be removed, than about anyone who was at anyone's wedding.

I honestly dont think you have any right to call the police if there were folks who refused to leave when you asked. You did not rent the church, its a church, free for the public to use. Im pretty sure you have ZERO rights, and there's not a darn thing a cop can do about it.

If you want the ceremony to be private, you have no place having your ceremony in a church.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I guess it must just be a Catholic thing. I have been involved in various Protestant churches of different sizes and denominations in various parts of the country and it has not been an expectation at any of them that the church building would just be open when things were not going on. Do things not get stolen? Is access to the entire building available or just the sanctuary?

This. With only one pastor and one administrator on the premises Monday - Friday, our church building is not unlocked unless there is worship, fellowship, or a bible study going on.

 

[cabanafrau]

This is the best post i've seen yet. Christ on a pony. LMAO!!! I totally agree btw!

Have to disagree. The most offensive comment in the entire ridiculous thread.

IMO this is the kind of thing a ban on political or religious discussion should deter -- and this is coming from someone who absolutely believes in discussing things freely! Discussion with disagreement is A-OK in my book. Deliberately being offensive to others traditions and beliefs for no good reason other than to bolster one's feelings of being above it all? Not so much.

 

[Bob NC]

You did not rent the church, its a church, free for the public to use.

You talk about a church like it's a free public utility. It isn't. Churches are, in fact, private.

When I was married in the Catholic church, there was a sign on a stand outside the door that said the church was closed for a private ceremony.

Churches aren't like libraries or town halls where anyone may enter.

 

[declansdad]

I honestly dont think you have any right to call the police if there were folks who refused to leave when you asked. You did not rent the church, its a church, free for the public to use. Im pretty sure you have ZERO rights, and there's not a darn thing a cop can do about it.

If you want the ceremony to be private, you have no place having your ceremony in a church.

This is not true everywhere and a church is not a public place. It is a private building that is open to the public under certain conditions.

 

[Coconut36]

This is not true everywhere and a church is not a public place. It is a private building that is open to the public under certain conditions.

I agree...I think what many are saying is that for their faith/church..etc they do not restrict the facility for a given event and that they consider the premises open to the public at all times..even during a wedding.

 

[SaraJayne]

I honestly dont think you have any right to call the police if there were folks who refused to leave when you asked. You did not rent the church, its a church, free for the public to use. Im pretty sure you have ZERO rights, and there's not a darn thing a cop can do about it.

If you want the ceremony to be private, you have no place having your ceremony in a church.

Churches are not free for public use. Our church is locked at all times, unless it is Wed evening or Sunday morning.

 

[goofyintoronto]

I agree...I think what many are saying is that for their faith/church..etc they do not restrict the facility for a given event and that they consider the premises open to the public at all times..even during a wedding.

This is exactly what i was trying to say! Thank you Coconut36!

You talk about a church like it's a free public utility. It isn't. Churches are, in fact, private.

When I was married in the Catholic church, there was a sign on a stand outside the door that said the church was closed for a private ceremony.

Churches aren't like libraries or town halls where anyone may enter.

Never in all my years have I seen a sign (such as the one your describing) outside of a church. Ever. Im catholic, ive been to many weddings in different catholic churches, and I can honestly say that people (anyone really) were free to come and go as they please. There was no sign or security guards ushering people out. None of that. In my area at least, in my experience, churches are in fact like libraries. Anyone can come and go.

Churches are not free for public use. Our church is locked at all times, unless it is Wed evening or Sunday morning.

Im not arguing about when the church is locked. See Coconut36 comment above. Thats what I was trying to say. The catcholic churches in my area are open pretty much til late at night. So ppl (THE PUBLIC) can in fact come and go as they please.

 

[cornflake]

I could say the same to you. I can understand that where you are you know how it would work. Why can't you open your mind to the possibility that it may be different here? I'm not trying to offend you or anyone else, just telling you that it isn't the same everywhere.

Because you're talking about the RCC - it's not different there. It's not different anywhere. You didn't hire the priest because one doesn't hire a priest - in Zimbabwe you don't hire the priest. You make a donation, because hiring would imply you could tell the priest how to conduct a mass or that he had to marry you even if he thought he shouldn't, etc.

The RCC is the RCC. It's like saying 'well, open your mind to the possibility that here, the McDonalds might use pumpernickel for Big Macs.'

 

[snapppyd]

Have to disagree. The most offensive comment in the entire ridiculous thread.

IMO this is the kind of thing a ban on political or religious discussion should deter -- and this is coming from someone who absolutely believes in discussing things freely! Discussion with disagreement is A-OK in my book. Deliberately being offensive to others traditions and beliefs for no good reason other than to bolster one's feelings of being above it all? Not so much.

Some kids never learn no matter how many times you put them in a time-out.

 

[Disney Doll]

Well, I guess the bottom line is that I am glad that my church is unlocked during the day so if someone chose to go in for quiet prayerful time, they could.

I am also glad that my church would not consider calling the police because someone was at a wedding ceremony who was not formally invited.

I am quite glad that the only time my church would consider calling the police to remove someone is if they were considered to be a danger for some reason, because then, obviously, pupblic safety comes before all else.

I could not imagine walking up to the door of my church and seeing a sign stating "closed for a private ceremony".

 

[Coconut36]

Because you're talking about the RCC - it's not different there. It's not different anywhere. You didn't hire the priest because one doesn't hire a priest - in Zimbabwe you don't hire the priest. You make a donation, because hiring would imply you could tell the priest how to conduct a mass or that he had to marry you even if he thought he shouldn't, etc.

The RCC is the RCC. It's like saying 'well, open your mind to the possibility that here, the McDonalds might use pumpernickel for Big Macs.'

I agree. That is what the poster was trying to explain. You do not hire a Catholic priest...you can call it that but that isn't what it really is. That is NOT how the Catholic church works and Catholicism is uniform in regards to how things work...here, there and everywhere the rules, regulations and expectations are the same.

I could say the same to you. I can understand that where you are you know how it would work. Why can't you open your mind to the possibility that it may be different here? I'm not trying to offend you or anyone else, just telling you that it isn't the same everywhere.

Because it isn't different..it does not work that way in the Catholic church. See post above and several others from Catholics that are trying to explain to you that certain things do NOT vary and are not a possibility as the Catholic church does not operate that way.

 

[goofyintoronto]

Well, I guess the botom line is that I am glad that my church is unlocked during the day so if someone chose to go in for quiet prayerful time, they could.

I am also glad that my church would not consider calling the police because someone was at a wedding ceremony who was not formally invited.

I am quite glad that the only time my church would consider calling the police to remove someone is if they were considered to be a danger for some reason, because then, obviously, pupblic safety comes before all else.

I agree. I cannot imagine turning someone away just because they werent invited. Imagine an 80 yr old woman comes to church, she had to take bus to get there. Her husband just passed away a few weeks prior, so she's been coming to church quite a lot since then. Your telling me someone from your wedding party is going to kick out that poor old woman just because she wasnt invited to the ceremony? She has every right to be there. Its a church!! Its free for any catholic to use when/if they want to pray.

 

[declansdad]

Because you're talking about the RCC - it's not different there. It's not different anywhere. You didn't hire the priest because one doesn't hire a priest - in Zimbabwe you don't hire the priest. You make a donation, because hiring would imply you could tell the priest how to conduct a mass or that he had to marry you even if he thought he shouldn't, etc.

The RCC is the RCC. It's like saying 'well, open your mind to the possibility that here, the McDonalds might use pumpernickel for Big Macs.'

Thanks again for telling me what we did. We paid the priest not the church. You can call it what you want but we paid a retired Catholic priest to perform our wedding service in a church that we paid for our use, a church that is not open at all times.

 

[goofy!]

Wow, what a collection of miserable biddies. Who cares if someone you don't know is sitting quietly at the back of the church during your wedding mass. I can't believe all the things that people complain about on here.

Of course this isn't about everyone here but I have never seen so many people who can't get through life without complaining about every little thing and in some cases literally asking if they should be offended.

Christ on a pony it must be tiring to be so unhappy all the time. Live your life and stop worrying so much about how other people live theirs. It makes for a much better existence for everyone involved.

Well then, welcome to the Miserable Biddy Club. Since you are complaining and worrying about what others are worried about, you earn immediate lifetime membership.

Maybe you should take your own advice and stop worrying about how other people live their lives or what they post