Is 44 too old to become pregnant?

[mjkacmom]

My SIL adopted a child when she was 45. Around here, many women don't even start having children until their 30's (I was the first out of my circle of friends at 29), so a woman who had a baby at 44 wouldn't really stand out much. I have no problem with it.

 

[freckles and boo]

Personally I would not want to be a first time mom in my forties (I am forty-three) but if you are already an experienced mom and you enjoy it and you are in good health, then go for it. Just be aware that the miscarriage rate goes up along with all the other risks. I have lost two pregnancies in the past few years and while we didn't actively plan to have more children it was still heartbreaking.

 

[happygirl]

I don't think I could chase after a teenager around in my mid 50's

 

[swald91]

My mom was 41 when I was born nearly 41 years ago. No "help" in getting there just a BIG surprise!!!! I think that if you are healthy & that's what you want-as long as your doctor says it's ok-why not? I really can't see myself at 44 & pregnant-my kids are 13 & 9 & I don't have any interest in doing it over...although I do LOVE babies-I just can't see with our lifestyle now how I could do it...best wishes & good luck!

 

[Green Tea]

That is the age I am now, and the age my mother was when I was born. I think the older mom is far more common now than then. My mom has always been a rock solid source of support, always ready to help with my own parenting problems. I am quite fortunate that I still have her. If this is something you and your husband want to do, then try!

 

[Mom21]

Thanks for the input everyone. I'm not thinking about it. My friend that is 41 just told me she was pregnant. It got me to thinking. I'm 44 and last year I was dating a man 10 years younger that had never had children. We were supposed to marry, but didn't. I was just thinking how if we had married would it be to old for me to do. Of course it didn't matter; I was just thinking. My dd will be 13 in March, so I am well aware of the teenage years.

 

[mjkacmom]

I don't think I could chase after a teenager around in my mid 50's

Trust me - you don't chase after teenagers! They actually try to avoid you! The older they get, they get more demanding mentally and emotionally, but much easier physically!

 

[MIGrandma]

In my opinion, it's nobody's business but the 44-year-old woman and her husband/significant other, or whatever.

If she wants a baby at that age why is it anyone else's business to tell her she shouldn't?

 

[BelleWDW]

Thanks for the input everyone. I'm not thinking about it. My friend that is 41 just told me she was pregnant. It got me to thinking. I'm 44 and last year I was dating a man 10 years younger that had never had children. We were supposed to marry, but didn't. I was just thinking how if we had married would it be to old for me to do. Of course it didn't matter; I was just thinking. My dd will be 13 in March, so I am well aware of the teenage years.

My brother married a woman with 4 kids
He had none
They got pregnant (her 5th) when they were 42
They owned a business & she owned another business-and were VERY busy
They hired a nanny who stayed with them for 5 years
I dont think-given their extremely busy lives-they could have done it without the nanny.

 

[MerMom60_94]

I think this really does depend upon the individual. Are you physically healthy? Are you a "young" 44 or an "old" 44? You need to look at your personal situation and when you do, as others have said, don't just think of what it would be like now but think 18 years down the road. People have given some good things to consider (i.e. retirement vs college costs, etc). The one factor I would add is the elderly parent factor. My parents were well into their 30's when they had me and I was 34 when I had my daughter. These past few years we have had some trying times while my DH and I juggled time with our dying fathers and the needs of a young teen. If your parents are older then just realize it isn't always easy to be there for them and be there for your at home children and it could cause a lot of added stress for you. On the retirement note, my DH and I are facing this right now. He is a firefighter - a very physical job that requires him to go out in the worst of weather and be able to perform. He has been developing arthritis and is considering retiring this year because he physically feels he can't handle the demands of his job anymore. Um, hello!! What about the 15 year old in the next room? How will be pay for her college in a few years??? Yet, he has a valid reason for why he should retire. If we had had her when we were younger her college costs would be behind us and he could do as he pleases. Just really think this through in terms of the future.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

YES. (sorry) don't hate me!!

 

[Pigeon]

I wouldn't do it because of the risk of birth defects. In terms of raising a child, I don't see it as a problem at all.

 

[KirstenB]

Too old for me. Our younger dd was born when I was 39. It took a long time to conceive her, so I was way older than I would have preferred.

 

[golfgal]

As a first child it wouldn't be as bad as having teenagers and suddenly getting pregnant and starting all over again . I still think it is on the old side to have children and maybe for some not so important reasons but you would probably be close to 20 years older then most of the parents of your kids' friends, your chances of living long enough to see all the milestones (graduations, weddings, grandchildren) is much less, physically you will be more tired, etc.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

My mom got pregnant when she was 44. Complete accident. She was SHOCKED! Pregnancy and delivery went fine, but that wasn't the end of the story. Kids are a lifetime commitment, so the part AFTER the delivery is the tricky part.

My mom is now a widow, her finances are shaky at best. She has been raising my sister by herself for almost 4 years. In 2008 Mom was diagnosed with stage III breast cancer. She had surgery, chemo, and radiation to contend with while dealing with a selfish, uncooperative teenager. My sister is just now a junior in high school. Mom is doing well from a health standpoint, but my sister wears her out. Mentally, mostly.

The thing is, you can't see 14 years down the road when you have a newborn. No two stories will turn out the same. I suppose if a 44 year old wants to have a baby that's entirely up to her.

 

[wdwfan16]

Nobody get nasty ok? Just looking for opinions. What about if the husband is 10 years younger and never had children? Does that change your opinion?

There are many medical concerns at that age. Conception can be difficult. Women can and do get pregnant at that age. I would not try for a baby at 44.

The fact that the DH is 10 years younger does not change my mind. The DW and DH knew the age difference and the fact that he was never a dad before they got married.

If I got pregnant at 44 then I would be 45 when the baby was born. I would be 63 when the child graduated high school, 67 when they graduated 4 years of college and possibly be in my mid 70s when the grand-kid came. All those numbers are too old for me.

 

[Gabes_mommy]

I wouldn't do it because of the risk of birth defects. In terms of raising a child, I don't see it as a problem at all.

This. I am pregnant now and I am 34. That is as old as I feel comfortable having a baby. This is just my opinion though. I respect others decisions to have babies past 35, it's just not for me.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

Biologically, it might be very difficult to get pregnant at that age. And, if a woman does get pregnant, she will need to have an amnio among other tests to check for age-related birth defects.

Psychologically, if the woman feels she would like to be a mother, I say go for it. Personally, the baby ship has sailed for me (I will be 44 in a month and have an 11 year old only child). But, I would never tell someone else they shouldn't try for a baby if they wanted to at that age.

I'm 43 and pregnant. You don't NEED to have an amnio. Testing is your choice. I saw a genetic counsellor and had a nuchal translucency u/s at 12 weeks. The chances of downs before I went for testing was 1/50 after the u/s & blood work my chances decresed to 1/500. Spina bifida & Edwards syndrome were also tested for. Both of those were very very low chances. Based on my numbers they did not think amnio was needed. I would not have had one done anyway because of the risk of miscarriage.

Getting pregnant in your 40's is hard. I took clomid to help my chances.
Your general health is important too. Right now I am at 31 weeks and was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Age is a factor in that. Eat well, exercise and take care of yourself...it will help.

My Midwife told me when I had my second child at 40 that lots of women used to. Back in the days when big families were the norm women were having their last babies in their 40s.

It's possible and truly a decision only you and your husband can make. DH is 6 years younger than I am and this is my second marriage. My first DD is 11 and her sister is turning 3 this month. DD#3 is due mid March.
It works for us.

 

[quentina]

I think only you can make this decision (or whomever you are asking the question for).

Do you want to do this, if yes, then go for it.

If you are unsure, I would not do it.

It is a life changing event. My other concern is if your immediate family/friends that you trust are also in the same age bracket. Make sure they are willing to take a child on at an older age if something happened.

Personally, I would do it!

 

[Feralpeg]

First, I'll start by saying that it is a personal question that only the parents can really answer.

I had my DD when I was 36. I can't imagine having a child much older than this. At almost every function, as DD grew up, I was much older than the other mothers. There were things that I found physically harder to do with her. Now, DD is 21 years old and I am almost 58 years old. I am as old as many of her friends grandparents.

At the very least, I would recommend the mother have an amniocentesis during the pregnancy to check for birth defects. Every person feels differently on this, but I can't imagine being an older parent with a child suffering from a birth defect. I hope this doesn't offend anyone. It is just the way I feel.