Is 44 too old to become pregnant?

[Aisling]

I don't think it's too old in general, but I personally wouldn't want to be 64 when my child is 20. Just my mindset.

 

[mjkacmom]

I NEVER SAID IT WAS OR THAT MY FRIEND THOUGHT IT WAS. SHE WISHES HER MOTHER DIDN'T HAVE HER SO LATE IN LIFE< THAT DOES NOT MEAN SHE WISHES SHE WAS NEVER BORN
(should I make it flash in case you miss this again?)

?

But realistically you friend does realize that she couldn't have been born earlier, right? That either she was born when she was, or not have been born at all. My DH lost his mom when he was 12, but still appreciates the fact that he exists.

 

[jodifla]

I don't think it's too old, but I don't think it's ideal, either, in many circumstances.

As a disclaimer, I had a child at 40. It was great and I'd certainly do it again. By the time I really was ready to start thinking about another child, we realized our son was going to have challenges that required our money, time and effort. So that completely changed the equation of trying to have another.

But the truth is, although we are overall healthy, we are starting to have some health conditions. And we can see friends our age having severe conditions...or even dying. This isn't something that happens often in your 20s and 30s.

I do think consideration should be given to the fact that a child deserves two healthy, active parents. And while there are no guarantees, this is probably more easily provided if you are closer to 40 than 50 when you have a child.

Also totally don't get the argument of having a child/ not existing. Does that mean every couple should have 10, 20, 30 children? Sounds like a quiverfull mentality to me.

Another consideration is they are finding more trouble in children whose parents are older. My mother was the last of 8, born when her parents were older. And she was bi-polar -- the only one in the family. It didn't show up until she was in her 40s.

 

[D&DDisney]

Don't let anyone tell you its too old. If you, your partner and your Dr. think your health is good, then I say GO FOR IT!!!! No one else's opinion matters.

Lots of to you!!!!

 

[luvmy3]

But realistically you friend does realize that she couldn't have been born earlier, right? That either she was born when she was, or not have been born at all. My DH lost his mom when he was 12, but still appreciates the fact that he exists.

Of course, she's not a moron
This whole thing started as a response to a pp who said that kids who bemoan having older parents are ungrateful. I am simply showing that isn't the case. Here my friend, who is very thankful for the years she had with her mother, who was her best friend, only wishes that somehow things were different and she was born earlier to have been able to have her mother here with her longer. Of course she knows thats not possible, but it doesn't stop her from wishing it, maybe its all part of HER grieving. It doesn't make her hate the fact that her mom had her late in life, it doesn't mean she resents having older parents, and it certainly doesn't make her ungrateful. There are many reasons why a child of older parents may *wish* things were different in their own lives, who are we to judge them because we wouldn't feel the same, or we couldn't possibly know how they feel, or somehow we think we know better than them. Unfortunately some just don't get that.