Iraq Agrees To Weapons Inspections; Cheney Begs Them To Reconsider

[fklhou]

IRAQ AGREES TO WEAPONS INSPECTIONS; CHENEY BEGS THEM TO RECONSIDER

Don’t Make Any Hasty Decisions, Vice President Urges Saddam

Just minutes after the government of Iraq agreed to the unconditional return of U.N. weapons inspectors, Vice President Dick Cheney urged the Iraqis to reconsider their decision.

“Let’s not be too hasty about this,” Mr. Cheney urged the Iraqi government. “You could be making a huge mistake here, guys.”

Mr. Cheney added that accepting weapons inspectors back into their country was a “big decision” and encouraged the Iraqis to “sleep on it.”

But hours after Mr. Cheney begged the Iraqis to reconsider, Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein released an official statement of his own, leaving little doubt that he intended to stick with his decision.

“Not only am I sure that I want the weapons inspectors to come back to Iraq,” Saddam’s statement read, “but I am totally stoked about it.”

A less enthusiastic response to Saddam’s decision came from U.S. General Tommy R. Franks, who had just moved his CENTCOM office from Florida to Qatar in preparation for military exercises in the Persian Gulf region.

“No way!” General Franks said when informed of Saddam’s decision. “You’ve got to be yanking my chain!”

Meanwhile, an aide to the Vice President said that Mr. Cheney was returning to his secure undisclosed location for a few days “to be alone,” but denied that the Vice President was “sulking.”

“The Vice President is an optimistic man,” the aide said. “This is a bump in the road, but he is still hopeful that Saddam will change his mind and refuse to allow weapons inspectors to return to Iraq.”

******Borowitz Reports****

 

[Sonya]

LOL

 

[MosMom]

HaHaHa too funny!!! LOL

 

[DawnCt]

According to the London Standard, the only sites that will be opened for inspection are the military ones. Civilian sites will not be available to the UN inspectors. This means schools, hospitals, mosques, etc, etc. Does anyone really think that Saddam will hide what we are looking for on military installations????

 

[fklhou]

DawnCT

This was a piece of satire. It is not a real story. I am sorry if it fooled you.